May 2020 - Dale Darley

Archive Monthly Archives: May 2020

Days Of Gratitude – Joy

Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul.” – Amy Collette

Days of Gratitude – Joy

Starting your day thinking of what you are grateful for creates openness for more things to come into your life. When I think of the dogs and the adventures that each new day brings, I can feel joy rising up in me.

My days begin with a smile. Begin yours with a smile and it will make all of the difference. Allow the joy of the day to infuse your heart and the rest of the day should, despite whatever gets thrown up, go smoothly.

When things don’t go quite to plan, think of how you can reframe what comes up. Take a few breaths, look at what is going on from another perspective and ask what do I learn and what do I want instead.

Focus on your breath, bring gratitude to mind. Think of what you appreciate about being you right now.

Keep focused on your joyful day and you will find your answer.

Grab your journal take just 9 minutes to write 9 things that you are grateful for which bring you joy.

Journal Gratitude and Joy Prompts

  1. How can you bring more joy into your life today?
  2. 3 things that bring me joy are…
  3. A life without joy is…

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day – Day #6

It’s day six of positive affirmations to see you through the day.

My day six quote made me smile this morning because it’s day two of self-injecting B12.

On Friday evening I received my blood test results and there was a lot to take in as we are monitoring a few things. Nothing serious or at least not to me. I believe that the body can heal if given the right ingredients.

So far I have healed a number of things naturally and continue to believe that this is the way to go. This does not mean that I would refuse other treatment, more that I want to go with natural first. For me, this means bringing harmony and balance to my body and life.

On Saturday before I dared to inject, I sobbed my heart out. I had my results, but no answers and only chaos.

Normally I love a bit of chaos because it means that clarity will soon follow. Yet here I was believing that nothing was going in the right direction.

I’d asked questions in various forums and was left wishing that someone had comforted me and pointed me in the right direction instead of their ego belittling me. Or at least it felt that way.

After a walk, I womaned up and stuck the needle in, chanting my body lovingly accepts this B12, it is nourishing me at a cellular level. I then sat with the dogs waiting… Waiting for what I do not know, but I was waiting.

When we do not dare, it is not because it is difficult, it’s because we do not believe that we can

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day

I am reminded of all of the things we don’t do because we do not dare to believe that it is possible.

My big one is that novel… You know the one I want to write. Yes, that one. But here’s the thing it’s happening. I’ve stopped putting things in the way.

Do you find that sometimes you put things in your way?

I do, sometimes and then I find myself making excuses about why I can’t do something.

It is the realisation of my can’t do thoughts that trigger me into action. Instead of holding onto the emotion, I dare myself to do something different. It always makes a difference to my day.

Today I am

Today I am daring, and I take good action.

What have you been putting off? Consider your language around the thing and start to reframe. Instead of saying why you can’t, look at the different options and dare yourself to do one.

You only need to take one step and then another and before you know it, you will have done that thing.

Get more affirmations to see you through the day

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day are available to you as a complimentary daily email (sign up here) and in The little book of 101 affirmations to get you through the dayavailable on Amazon

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day – Day #5

It’s day five of positive affirmations to see you through the day.

My day five quote reminds me that being prepared does create opportunity. Though this morning I’m feeling very unprepared as I normally work on Sundays and yesterday I declared Sunday’s to be writing days.

I spent the whole day, apart from doggie walks editing my book Manifesting Magic and I was brutal… The truth is I was already prepared to take lots out and make it more concise and add more stories. It was a thoroughly enjoyable day.

I awoke this morning feeling a bit panic struck, I am not prepared I said to myself. Hold your horses replied my higher and much wiser self, of course you are, you are doing your preparing on Monday’s now… Thank goodness someone knows what they are doing.

The blackboard is empty and waiting for the first chalky strokes.

  • Email to my community
  • Course intro/outro videos
  • Read a clients chapter
  • Get the writing lounge ready (it launches 1st July)
  • Self-love journal for the journaling Club
  • Sort out times and dates for a monthly Q&A and mastermind for The Soul Writers Academy
  • Start recording the video marketing course

It seems to me that I already know what I have to prepare… Well of course I do, most of it is in my planner – doh!!!

So that’s me sorted then.

Preparation creates luck and opportunity

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day

There is another saying, isn’t there about the more prepared I am, the luckier I get. I start each month reviewing where I am and what I have achieved. I prepare what needs to be done and do what I can. When I go to the doctors, I check my files and prepare what I want to review so that it is easier to formulate a plan. When I visit the town hall, I prepare everything so that they do not have to fuss with things like photocopying. When I go for a doggie walk, I fill my pockets with poo bags and treats. You get the idea.

This morning I found a magical glass of water with lemon, prepared last night. My breakfast seeds and nuts are soaking ready for a post walk breakfast.

It seems to me I am ready for Monday.

And before you think I am over prepared, I have left gaps for walks and cogitating, breaks for tea and cake and tickles with the dogs. It is in these moments that other ideas and clarity comes to me. These are my special moments.

Today I am

Today I am prepared for what is ahead.

  • What things do you have on the horizon and how prepared are you for them?
  • What can you do today so that tomorrow feels like a luckier day?
  • What about the things that you are not prepared for?
  • Make a note of what comes up and consider what needs to be done to get the stuck energy around them moving.

Get more affirmations to see you through the day

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day are available to you as a complimentary daily email (sign up here) and in The little book of 101 affirmations to get you through the dayavailable on Amazon

Reading Books And Scoffing Chocolate

Yesterday I was nibbling chocolate and reading while thinking about something I wanted to write when the idea to write about reading and chocolate came about. However, it morphed into something else and well, just because I can I decided to go with the flow.

Reading always inspires my creative flow. What I love about other people’s writing is that it takes me to another time and place and makes me think.

Reading makes us better writers – it’s a fact.

Let’s indulge ourselves because it’s Friday in chocolate and winding down for the weekend and maybe finding time to read and write.

I am sure you can think of a million ways that you could be enjoying chocolate – that is of course if you indulge.

And you may be a chocolate expert, indulging in only the finest raw chocolate delights, like my friend Dan from Elements For Life.

Many years ago I stumbled upon his Yummy Scrummy and immediately became a fan.

Following a nasty shingles episode which left me with something called postherpetic neuralgia, I can no longer eat foods high in arginine. So my darling raw chocolate has had to go.

Every once in a while and especially during the lockdown, I start to crave something sweet while reading or writing. To my horror, some deadly milk chocolate somehow finds its way to my mouth.

Of course, as a cake lover (healthy banana bread of course) I soon find myself in a battle – what should I indulge in whilst enjoying two of my favourite pastimes – writing and reading.

My mind as it does wanders off and I wondered what my friends were reading while indulging. It was with great delight I got some great replies back.

I asked my friends three questions for this blog.

  • What book are you reading? What made you choose it?
  • If you were to eat chocolate or cake with that book what would it be?
  • How does the book you are reading inspire you? (it could be beautiful writing that transports you, there may be something you are learning, there might be a message just for today that gets you thinking about change)

“Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.”  Jo Brand

My reading and chocolate answers

A few days ago I started to read and listen to Sonia Choquette’s book Ask your guides.

I choose it because I recently joined Sonia’s group and her vibe is delightful and I want to be more inspired by her wisdom.

I’d have a big triangle of dark Toblerone and nibble it slowly. Yes I know I am not meant to eat dark chocolate, but it called my name at the hardware store.

I’ve just started reading this book and already I know that my spirit family is all around me in various guises and soon I’ll start to recognise their signature energy.

What I also know is that my spirit family can’t steal my chocolate… Though of course, now that I have said that they may hide it…

Reading and chocolate with friends

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Charles M. Schulz

Sarah Arrow – I’m currently reading The Way of the Dragon. This book lends to tea cake and sencha. In the perfect world, it would be read with duck and pancakes. You can read what Sarah said back in 2017 here.

Dan Knowlson – I’m reading a few books at the moment.

  • The 1st book in the Dwarves series a bit of light reading tickling my fantasy liking
  • Earth Magic, learning about shamanic practices.
  • Moonology, learning about working the moon cycles
  • The Medicine Way, learning about shamanic practices

Chocolate wise, it’s either gonna be our Yummy Scrummy raw choc brownie, a divine raw choc mousse that I’ve made, or raw choc bars I’ve made. Or the scrumptious keto cheesecake I made last night. You can read what Dan said back in 2017 here

Allison Marlowe is more well behaved than all of us and commented – I’m currently rereading The Body keeps the Score, I’ve not eaten chocolate since February as part of a no-sugar month but cake which I rarely have has suddenly become a new daily favourite.

Currently devouring vegan ginger cake. I’m rereading this book as I saw a quote from the book and couldn’t recall it. So second read, picking up many bits of info that didn’t go in before.

Lianne Wright another 2017 commenter says – I’m reading “How to raise confident multicultural children” it’s the bilingual from the birth part that really interested me! I would eat all of the chocolate buttons but Libby has discovered that they are yummy.

Sarah Farrell who wrote Secret Spain Travel Guide: Visit Alicante’s Myths & Legends says she is reading Angela Carter’s Book Of Fairy Tales. I chose it because I’m falling back in love with fairy tales and these are incredible stories. When allowed out again, I want to explore fairy circles in Ireland and find out about fairies and witches in Spain.

Chocolate or cake would have to be Jaffa Cakes to nibble or my nan’s Victoria sponge cake. These are childhood treats to add to my comfort eating at the mo.

It’s a super inspiring book for the writing, the way the stories unfold and for the ‘moral’ to the tale. These fairy stories are certainly not for children! But I love revisiting children’s books for the way they tell a story simply but powerfully and for the incredible illustrations, such as Beatrix Potter books.

Hilary Stringer is another fairy tales fan shared A Treasury of Irish Fairy and Folk Tales. A birthday gift from my girls. It’s rich, deep and luscious so I will make a dense chocolate fondant cake and eat it sparingly, perhaps with a tot of Black Bush. It takes me into the land of my ancestors, bewitches me with stories of the Fee and reminds me that the human kingdom is not the only one sharing this earth.

Mel Wakeman (my partner in video crime) says – I’m reading How emotions are made, sat right now nibbling on some Cadbury’s fruit n nut. It came recommended (the book not the choc). I’m really keen to learn more about how we can learn to manage our emotions. This book is coming from an entirely different perspective. I’ll have to read more to find which way.

Here’s Mel and I talking about food and mood journals

Barbara Clarke who is enjoying her solitude says I actually just heard the narration of Neale Donald Walsh Little Soul and the Sun. So simple and so movingly inspiring. Forgiveness – it is what we all need. The Universe sends us nothing but angels – if we remember that we’re OK.

Norma Green is reading Victoria Hislop, The Thread. Would never eat anything whilst reading a book, my bedtime reading but if pushed it would be carrot cake, I don’t like chocolate. I read her book The Island and was mesmerised how such an awful situation could be portrayed in such a beautiful and positive way.

I love reading anything that involves Greek islands but I love her style of writing. You immediately feel as though you are part of the family she is writing about and although living through dreadful times, there is always a positive to cling to and I just love happy endings.

I love happy endings too…

Zhanelya Subebayeva – I’m reading Profit First by Mike Michalowicz, sipping a tea with milk and eating a chocolate brownie. The book makes me feel inspired and hopeful for the future and hints that there is a different way.

What about you what you?

“Chocolate says “I’m sorry” so much better than words.”  Rachel Vincent, My Soul to Save

  • What book are you reading? What made you choose it?
  • If you were to eat chocolate or cake with that book what would it be?
  • How does the book you are reading inspire you? (it could be beautiful writing that transports you, there may be something you are learning, there might be a message just for today that gets you thinking about change)

And finally some gluten-free chocolate cake inspiration for you – healthy of course.

Perhaps one of my journaling books could be the perfect companion to your chocolate moment?

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day – Day #4

It’s day four of positive affirmations to see you through the day.

For as long as I can remember I have been reading. These days I am no longer lost in Enid Blytons world of adventures with the Secret Seven or The Famous Five. Today I read or listen to more spiritual and personal development books.

I love to learn and so I seek out books that I need in the moment. Today I started to listen to Ask Your Guides by Sonia Choquette. Her style is easy and her stories engaging.

While I was walking I found myself nodding and agreeing and I already know that I will be doing all of the exercises and I’ll learn how to connect with my guides in a more natural and intuitive way.

I’m excited. Books should light you up. Books should inspire you and delight you. At least that’s what I want from them.

So often I have tried to read a book which has been full of promise only to find that I am not engaged.

What is delightful about Sonia’s books is that you can hear her wonderful personality in them and she is so funny. At least I am amused by her tales of derring-do. I feel that I am in her lounge and we are having a girly chat,

My day four quote resonates powerfully with me. I believe that if I didn’t read I would have missed out on some powerful learning.

I am so grateful for everyone who puts faith in their words and publishes so that we can enjoy their wisdom and be inspired to become our best selves.

Books and stories have the power to change the world. Every book I read, whether I dip in or devour to the end has a message for me. What I also learn from books is not only how to be a better human but how to be a better writer.

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day

Knowledge is power, keep reading and learning

Do you read every day? You might read blogs or books; it doesn’t really matter as long as reading is a part of your life.

You can learn a lot about you and life. I read a lot of non-fiction and keep a journal by my side to reflect on the text or questions posed.

I also glean a life lesson from non-fiction. At the end of a piece of fiction and pause – what did I learn from the protagonist’s adventure?

Today I am

Today I am knowledge.

Contemplate on what knowledge the last thing you read gave to you. What will you do with that knowledge? Knowledge, especially self knowledge is freedom, how free to you feel when you let go or use your knowledge wisely?

When I think about Ask Your Guides, I know that this will help me to live a more spirit led life. Already with just chapter one under my belt, I feel open and excited about making more spiritual connections. The first chapter fills me full of confidence that miracles are about to happen, which will soon become every day things.

Get more affirmations to see you through the day

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day are available to you as a complimentary daily email (sign up here) and in The little book of 101 affirmations to get you through the dayavailable on Amazon

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day – Day #3

It’s day three of positive affirmations to see you through the day.

I adore this day three quote because it’s when I go into chaos I know the good stuff is coming.

Yesterday I was working on my vision, mission and brand values and for some reason I was going around and around in circles. It probably didn’t help that I woke up in the early hours and was unable to get back to sleep.

However, this morning clarity started to creep in gently like the early morning sun sneaking through the shutters.

What I find works for me is to get it all out, to explore and be curious. And once I have got it all out to let it go and wait for the connections and aha’s.

Chaos is the beginning of wisdom

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day

So, what about you? Are you curious and open or have you lost your curiosity? Maybe you haven’t, and maybe you have.

I notice that often when in the depths of despair, the mind clouds, and it seems that there is no way out of the grunge.

In these moments, breathe, go for a walk, journal and most importantly open your mind to the curiosities that come.

Today I am

Today I am open and curious.

Stop for a moment, and consider what is bugging you. Breathe into it. Write one word, any word that comes up and around it five more and then journal on what comes up for you.

Get more affirmations to see you through the day

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day are available to you as a complimentary daily email (sign up here) and in The little book of 101 affirmations to get you through the dayavailable on Amazon

How To Write A Memoir – Part 1 – Getting Started

I know so many people who would love to write a memoir or life story, but either don’t feel they can for personal reasons, it might be upsetting, they are not sure of what slice of life, who would read it or where to start.

In how to write a memoir, part one, I’m going to talk about where to start because I think that some of the other questions and thoughts will fall into place once we look at this.

Writing a memoir is quite an experience, I’ve written a few and not published them, but I can tell you after a period of reflection that they will be published. I wrote them for healing reasons, and this is something we’ll address another day.

When you are starting to write your memoir, you need a theme and to consider what the outcome for the reader is.

When I look at my memoirs, what I didn’t realise was that my theme was and is healing. Every book I have written is about healing some aspect of me.

Doh! How could I have not noticed?

Well, that’s not entirely true; I knew that I was writing them for healing reasons, I just didn’t realise how they were all connected. Even the book that I am writing now – Manifesting Magic – is a memoir with a healing theme.

All of my memoirs have a practical element, that is they are self-help books too. The first place to start is:

  • What kind of memoir do you want to write?
  • Why are you writing it?
  • What is the outcome you want for your ideal reader?
  • Who is that ideal reader?

Ok, four simple but very in-depth questions.

What kind of memoir do you want to write?

When I started to write Manifesting Magic, I knew that this book would be self-help and memoir, simply because that is my style and these are the kind of books I love.

Go and look at your bookshelf, Kindle or Audible and check out the books that you enjoy. Understand what you love or don’t love.

When I look at my books, what I love is the stories. Not too long, but powerful enough to move me and strongly linked to the what to do bit.

Why are you writing it?

I write to heal and to inspire others to heal or at least know that they can. Fundamentally, despite the title of coach, I am a healer. Writing is my vehicle for healing because words are so incredibly meaningful. Language can weave spells, and stories can transport you to magical places.

What is the outcome you want for your ideal reader?

This one is always easy for me. I want my reader to know that if it is possible in the world, it is possible for them.

Looking at this with more depth. Again, let’s take Manifesting Magic. I want my readers to believe in magic – their magic – to learn how to manifest (get) the life that they want. But more importantly, to discover who they are on the way to getting what they want.

Often in the pursuit of something we miss the vital ingredients of becoming our best selves.

Who is that ideal reader/customer for your memoir?

Oh dear, this age-old question, who are they? Who is my ideal reader who I’d like to become my ideal client?

Typically they are female, 40+, spiritual, heart-led, conscious, creative, intuitive, have been through trauma and want to use the gifts from this to change the world. They have a story that they feel must be told so that they can inspire others.

They want to find the magic in their story and to be able to share this, so it reaches the right hearts.

They typically have the job title – coach, therapist, counsellor, healer, entrepreneur, nutritionist.

Their location is anywhere where we are on a timeline where we can talk if they have 121 coaching. Otherwise anywhere in the world where they speak English.

The industry is usually healing, mental health, spiritual, metaphysical, personal development

Other interests would include things likes loving and respecting nature and animals, oracle cards, reading, creativity, personal development, journaling and writing and cake…

I’d find them in groups where entrepreneurs hang out, soul and spiritual groups, female-only groups.

So looking at this you would get a great idea of who I wanted to read Manifesting Magic or my journaling books. You’d also know who my soul clients are.

However… Given my background in executive coaching, personal branding and marketing, I also get clients who are male and fall into these categories. I’ve also coached young women on a mission.

What is important to me is that despite this, we click, that there is a resonance, we enjoy working together, and the story that they want to tell alongside the how-to bit resonates with my theme of healing. Conflict in leadership teams, for example, is healing.

It’s meaningful to know who your ideal customer is, and you can have more than one.

Over to you

Grab your journal and explore. This is not a sit down in one session and get it over with. This is something that I would invite you to write and reflect on over a week. To then start to envision your ideal reader coming to you for your memoir and saying what they got from your amazing story.

Here’s a little affirmation for you too…

It’s easy to see why my ideal reader looks for me.

If writing a book is on your do now list…

For private coaching I offer the following if you are unsure which you want and need, please connect with me.

  • Strategy and Intuitive Guidance Coaching Session – 45 minutes (book)
  • Insight and Clarity Session (book)
  • 3-hour plan your book call (book)
  • 121 Coaching Packages available for 3 or 6 months – contact me

Ready to Kick-Start Your Memoir or Write Your Life Story? Both of these courses are available on The Soul Writers Academy, with three levels of prices.

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day – Day #2

It’s day two of positive affirmations to see you through the day.

Sometimes, like today, I am finding it hard to focus on the now. The reason is, as I write this my mum is going on her own to the clinic to have her annual osteoporosis infusion.

As someone who healed their bones naturally, I see this as mum filling her body with poison, but and this is important, I completely respect her decision.

I have however told her off. Can you imagine that, a daughter telling their mum off for getting medical treatment.

But there is a good reason. The poison makes mum feel ill for a while after. And right now she is in the vulnerable category and I would rather she didn’t go in a taxi to the hospital.

However, she has chosen to go and I am already future projecting. Try as I might I want to focus on the now, but I am already there in spirit with a mum who is not well.

So, while last year, I took a week off to cook, run around and entertain her, with the current lockdown rules I am not allowed to drive to her.

My day two quote is so apt for today. I do have to remember this.

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day

There is only ever the present moment

It is easy to stay trapped in the past and in a circle of endless life roundabouts by worrying about the future. It’s not always easy focusing on the present. If you can, you will become more grounded and balanced, which will lead to inner peace and harmony.

Normally I can. Today I am breathing through this. I’ll find out over the next few days how she manages by herself. All I can do is repeat my affirmation and wait to hear.

One thing is for certain, I know where I get my stubborn streak from – thanks mum.

Today I am

Today I am focusing on the now.

Write in your journal about where you find yourself right now. Look around, put a stake in the ground and view your life. What three things are you grateful for?

I am grateful that I can stay in touch with my mum because of amazing technology

I am grateful that mum has friends who will come and shop for her over the next week. She hasn’t told the one special friend yet about the infusion, because she says being told off by me is bad enough… Regardless, I am happy that once she confesses she will get help

I am grateful strangely that my mum feels safer having the infusion rather than not. This positive attitude will help her to assimilate it

Get more affirmations to see you through the day

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day are available to you as a complimentary daily email (sign up here) and in The little book of 101 affirmations to get you through the dayavailable on Amazon

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day – Day #1

It’s day one of positive affirmations to see you through the day.

We are moving into what is called phase 1 where I live which means we can move around our region, but not inter region. Some businesses will open as will some bars.

I’m remaining at home with the dogs. My choice. I feel like I need more time away from the madness and while I do not know the truth, I choose to consciously control how I feel and what I do.

I’m lucky two people have offered to do my shopping today, which will tide me over to Thursday when I have planned to don mask and gloves and set out for essentials.

Early this morning, I awoke from a disconcerting dream. My bladder wouldn’t let me ponder the dream. That’s something I do find hard to control.

I sat wondering what the day will bring and what I have to accept that I cannot change or control. What do I need to let go of? What can I just let flow?

I certainly can’t change the past and why would I? It’s what brought me here and made me who and what I am.

Every twist and turn in the road was meant to be and even the really awful stuff has given me a gift.

Yet, here in my present moment there I things I want to change. I want to go and meet my friends for cake and tea and to sit by the sea – but not yet. Currently, I cannot control worldwide events and actually I may never be able to control worldwide events.

What I can do is to let go, tune into my heart and let my wisdom lead the way.

Nothing as they say is forever. This too will pass.

What I get from this despite my discombobulation is a feeling of peace that comes from letting the feelings come, observing and letting them go.

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day – Day #1

My day one quote reminds me that the heart knows best.

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day

When I let go of what I cannot control and make conscious heart-led decisions my wisdom leads the way

There are many things that you simply can’t change. The past, for example, is long gone. We cannot undo things that happened and the choices that we have made, but we can change how we feel about them and the lessons learned. We can also make conscious decisions about the things presented to us now.

My positive affirmation for today reminds me to make conscious decisions.

Today I am

Today I can distinguish between what I can control and what I can’t, and I make conscious decisions.

Today let go and ask what can you say yes to instead?

Get more affirmations to see you through the day

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day are available to you as a complimentary daily email (sign up here) and in The little book of 101 affirmations to get you through the dayavailable on Amazon

How to Use Positive Affirmations to Change Your Life

I love affirmations, don’t you?

Positive affirmations are the language of self-talk designed to reprogram your subconscious and boost your vibrational frequency. It might seem strange to do. However, think about the fact that you probably currently use negative self-talk all the time without noticing.

Right now I have been playing with affirmations around my vision. I’ve been getting clarity on my vision, mission and values to that I can set the direction of my life and business.

When I started on my vision it was long and rambling. Over several iterations, I got it right down to…

To inspire my community to heal through writing and write to heal the world.

I’m still working on it and I’ve been adding in some positive affirmations to bring it alive.

However, things keep popping into my mind to derail me. How does the mind do that? How very dare it!

I’m not saying anything like calling myself stupid, but all the same there is my gremlin Gregor nibbling away at me.

It’s easy though to let the Gregors do this, because that is how we are wired. Perhaps Gregor is trying to keep me safe?

How many times have you done something and called yourself stupid or looked in the mirror and allowed negative thoughts coming to mind?

I know when my spine fractured I found it oh so hard to say anything nice to myself.

Negative self-talk affects your confidence, lowers your vibration, and places the focus of your life on the wrong things.

To change yourself, you can use positive affirmations about any issue you want to change. Using the fracture as an example I started to say I am healed, healthy and happy and my bones are healthy and healed. What a difference that made. Naturally, I did more than just chant affirmations, but these played a powerful part in my healing.

With my vision, I am going one step further and making up little ditties. Please don’t laugh…

I joyfully enjoy the fruits of my biz. It’s healthy, wealthy and full of whizz.

What about this one? Every day in every way. My business shines like a sunshine ray.

Ok, so I won’t win a prize for literature, the point is to make them memorable.

To use positive affirmations to help you bring about change I have these tips.

Identify Negative Self-Talk Habits

When you start to write what it is that you want, or in my case my vision, notice what comes up. Before you start using positive affirmations, be more mindful about when and how you’re using negative self-talk. Note these in your journal, very soon you will start to see a pattern which you can then choose to consciously change.

Create Positive Affirmations from Negative Self-Talk

After you write down those negative things, you might see that there are some that fall into like categories. Note what these categories are and perhaps you can choose a priority and notice what happens when you focus on changing these.

For example, if when you are getting ready in the morning, you see yourself in the mirror and say something not so great to yourself – you’ll know that it is in the category of self-esteem. Likewise, when you have those doh moments, these too could fall into the same category, especially if you catch yourself using not so useful language.

You can then create positive affirmations that will raise your self-esteem. “I’m grateful to my body, for everything she does and helping me to be happy, healthy and healed.” Even if you have problems, when you do this, you’ll likely make better choices during the day, and will remember to treat yourself with loving-kindness.

It works, I am proof.

Write Your Affirmations Down

Write down your positive affirmations. You could write your affirmations on small slips of paper and put them in a jar and grab one when you need it. Write them on pretty note cards or post-it notes and stick them where you can see them. For example, you can put one of your affirmations on the bathroom mirror, or on your door so you see it as you’re leaving.

When I was going through my big healing I would write love me notes on post-its and pop them on the fridge before bed. They worked a treat. I always forgot that I had written them and then smiled in delight in the morning.

Say Your Affirmations Aloud

When you are saying your affirmations in private, say them aloud. When you say them aloud, not only do you hear the vibration in your voice, you are sending this out to the Universe who is waiting to support you.

It’s a good job no one can see me when I am walking the dogs. Not only am I saying them aloud, but I also practise tapping on certain points.

Choose To Change

Saying positive affirmations is great, but you need to choose to make changes. Writing in your journal will open your mind to what is going on in your life and from there you can make conscious choices.


As you practice using positive affirmations you will change. Saying your affirmations combined with good action changes your perceptions and this is what we want to make a note of.

When you reflect at the end of the week or month you can join the dots backwards and see how far you have grown and how your life has changed.

Questions for your journal

  • What is one thing that you want to change today?
  • What would your positive affirmation be?
  • What will you see when this has become a part of your life?

Join me for 101 days of being me

101 days includes a daily positive affirmation, a quote and something to reflect on. These are delivered daily to your inbox.

All you need is a journal and some time to write and reflect.