July 2020 - Dale Darley

Archive Monthly Archives: July 2020

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day – #7

Have you ever wondered where your inner childs playground is?

In the body we have many energy centres and the second is your inner child’s playground, a place of creativity, magic and wonder. It is also home to your sensuality and emotions.

One of the best ways to support these is to play. We can play in so many ways. I love to play with my dogs,  I love to write and colour in mandalas.

You could lose yourself at the movies, ride your bike, rollerblade, go walking, play air guitar at concerts, go to a play and hang out with children. And you can just be silly with friends. Playing is also indulging in arts and crafts, singing, dancing, playing an instrument and sharing laughs with friends. It also includes your sensual and intimate moments with yourself or a partner.

I love to start explorations in my journal with my child because this eases me into a place of curiosity and wonder.

I have had a lot of sexual abuse from early childhood, but I do not see a traumatised inner child; instead, I see a naughty little minx – a wild child who was suppressed, but now wants to play.

I write because it has helped and helps my inner child to release the ‘demons’, which do sometimes crawl out of the ground.

If for any reason you find yourself transported back to unpleasant things, you can make a choice to explore through writing and/or you can find a counsellor trained to support you through this while you journal.

Does this work still make me cry? Of course, it does, but I am grateful that she wants to be with me on my life’s adventure.

It’s as easy as closing your eyes and allowing yourself to be guided to parts of your life that feel or have felt magical. Become that child that sees the world through the lens of wonder and curiosity before you pick up your pen.

101 Positive Affirmations To See You Through The Day

Your creative inner child lives and plays in the freedom of the moment

Just this weekend I was listening to the two young children playing in the street. Giggling and doing goodness only knows what… When I went to walk the dogs, the children were gone, and the street was littered with toys. Parked outside my house was a scooter. Simply abandoned. It made me smile to remember that freedom of just being and enjoying the present moment.

Today I am

Today I am playful and free.

  • How can you tap into that childlike innocence and just be?
  • Where can you find play in your life?
  • How can you bring more play and that feeling of freedom into your life?
  • Find 3 things that are playful that you can do today

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Acknowledging Your Courage

There are far braver people than me. I do not live in a war-torn country; I have food and clean water, I have no life-threatening illnesses to contend with (the overactive thyroid is controlled with diet). I am blessed. However, I am told that I have courage. We never see traits like this in us, do we?

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. We must do what we think we cannot to.” Eleanor Roosevelt

All I did was leave someone who was leading a double life. Yes, I left everything behind, moved to a new country and had to find new friends, a new way to run my business and a new way of living.

Yes, there have been challenges – that’s a bit of an understatement, to be honest.

However, I was lucky, the Universe, I believe had laid out the pathway to here, long before. She created the conditions for relationships to end, enabling a house purchase, discoveries to be made and for me to find my way here. It was all I think pre-ordained.

No bravery in pre-destiny.

Life may have felt tough at times. There have been many times that I have needed to be strong. There have been many occasions where my confidence and courage have been shaken.

In every challenge, without a doubt, that courage and confidence have grown. So that when I needed to leave, although I couldn’t know the outcome, I could take confident steps towards a new future.

I have such deep gratitude for what I have experienced and learned. Being thankful has created conditions that have allowed my courage and confidence to grow. Being surrounded by beautiful souls feeds these. My journey has brought me to a place where the right environment has been created for me to thrive.

Over these last six years, I have needed lots of courage and needed to dig deep. I had to use courage to create change. Little did I know that I would need the courage to enable me to adapt and grow and as a way to prepare for the uncertainty that came (and was to come) my way.

You can never be sure of any outcomes, but you can build courage and confidence to ensure that you can take appropriate action towards what you do want.

Being vulnerable and having the Courage to be you

Discovering your connection to your divine inner wisdom, connecting to your purpose, and changing your life is breathtaking. It is probably one of the biggest undertakings of your life because quietly you have been doing it all of your life – you just didn’t realise it.

From the moment you were born, when no one told you that you couldn’t, you just got out there and rocked. Naturally, you were influenced by the people around you. Some of which, despite being well-intentioned doing more harm than good.

If you wanted to wear pink trainers with an orange frock, you did. If you drew a picture, you would run around showing everyone, the same with your stories. So what happened?

Life gets in the way of confidence, and it’s as if people can smell that confidence or lack of it when they meet you.

Look at dogs, they greet each other warily and do a lot of sniffing. Either one or both of their tails go up, and then they decide who the top dog is. It is almost instantaneous. You can learn a lot by watching animals. My Ferdy dog struts his stuff, rushes up to everyone for a tickle; he is uber-confident that everyone will love him. What’s not to love, he is beautiful and fairly well mannered.

Sadly we lose our connection to our energy source which keeps the flame of confidence and courage burning, somewhere along the way, for all kinds of reasons and that is ok, it is just part of our journey.

At some point, though you need to fight the fear, change your mindset and take control of how you want to be perceived and unlock your heart and the gates to heaven.

In fact, take the word fear out of the equation and embrace the funny feeling in your tummy and heart. The other side of fear is excitement; you must be feeling that. Feels better, doesn’t it?

Courage is keeping going come what may (while staying out of danger, remaining authentic and ecological), and confidence is not giving in to the fear, rather embracing excitement.

What is courage?

What is it? What does it mean to you? To me, it is simply the ability to embrace whatever life throws at me, with confidence. It’s working with my inner knowing, listening to my intuition and guides and sometimes taking small steps and sometimes big leaps, in the knowledge that I will be caught and I will be held on the way.

Courage comes in many sizes and shapes, from confronting Harry, the spider to making a sacrifice to gain something important. Sacrifice in the sense that you are surrendering the old you, enveloping yourself in your excitement, so that the new you can wake up, become aware and be alive – truly alive.

  1. 1300, from Old French corage(12c., Modern French courage) “heart, innermost feelings; temper,” from Vulgar Latin *coraticum (source of Italian coraggio, Spanish coraje), from Latin cor “heart,” from PIE root *kerd- (1) “heart” (see heart (n.)) which remains a common metaphor for inner strength. In Middle English, used broadly for “what is in one’s mind or thoughts,” hence “bravery,” but also “wrath, pride, confidence, lustiness,” or any sort of inclination. Replaced Old English ellen, which also meant “zeal, strength.

Courageous people have a certain power and control over their destinies, even when they don’t know what is around the corner (how can they?). They know that because their values support the foundations of who they are and they have a healthy mindset (even if it waivers) anything is possible.

Courageous people know in their hearts that there is a deeper purpose for the way that their lives have unfolded.

They have faith. They have love. They are love. They share their inner beauty with the world because they believe that many hearts can make a big difference. Through their very being, they demonstrate courage, love and light.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

Journaling prompts

  • What does courage mean to you?
  • Identify when you last showed courage – did you embrace it or brush it off? Think of three people, any three who you believe are courageous, why are they?
  • What you see in them is a reflection of your courage. How does that feel?

Come and join our five day Journey To The Centre Of Your Heart Adventure

5 Fabulous Reasons To Cultivate Self-love

Self-love some of the backstory…

Once upon a time, I felt such shame, guilt and self-hatred for the things that happened in my life and the hand I perceived I was dealt with. I have found myself caught up in my stories. Isolation was my default stance. When I couldn’t bear things any longer I would hide. I used to hide from my ‘truth’ and in doing I ended up not loving me.

What I have come to realise that my crappy life is a fabulous gift. Writing has been and continues to be my saviour. Through writing, I have learned that I have a right to love.

The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”  C.G. Jung

Not just writing if I am honest – pure bloody-mindedness as well.

When I was expelled from school, I called my dad at work, expecting the usual telling off. The sting of his words, ‘are you mental or what?’ wrenched my heart. I held back the tears and swallowed hard; he simply put the phone down on me. No one talked or looked at me that week, while I, slightly unconcerned, relished my newfound freedom. A few days later I found myself on a farm with the Moonies. More on this in another blog.

Then I entered the world of work.

Every day I dragged myself out of bed to go work, I wanted more from my life, but I was caught in a limbo land where I couldn’t move. I was trapped, caught in the spider’s web and watching horrified as life passed me by. Don’t get me wrong I have had some wonderful jobs, but I was never fulfilled. I wore the suits and did the stuff and on the inside, I was dying.

I thought that relationships would save me…

What I failed to realise was that it gets easier to deal with things, not that life would get easier. Blinkered and unaware of the tougher times to come I lived in a weird smog. My desire to learn, heal and grow and my knowledge of how to look at things didn’t desert me, but somehow I stranded myself on a loveless Island with strange bedfellows. (not all at the same time…)

One day in what I thought was the sanctity of a boring marriage, the one where I thought was safe, I was delivered a hellish wake-up call.

I relocated my life but not my self-hatred.

Then, slowly I learned about self-love

I don’t know what the turning point was, I think I just decided that something had to give and hating myself was a waste of time.

During this period I came face to face with my demons. I wrote and wrote thousands of words for a book called Journey To Self-Love, that is still not published – but oh boy was it cathartic.

And it saved me. Once again writing saved me.

In writing that book I learned a few things:

  • One, don’t look for the key, the key will find you.
  • Two, the same for love, don’t look for it. Just be it.
  • Three, I have to open my heart to receive love.
  • Four, constant giving of love is all very well, but it doesn’t mean that you will get love and respect back.
  • Five, listen, watch, hear the signs and symbols for they are messages for you. We are always being guided.
  • Six, faith and trust can be hard taskmasters.
  • Seven, loving yourself is awesome and makes such a difference to your life.
  • Eight. Get dogs, they teach you about unconditional love and give great licks when you cry…

The Heart is a gateway

The heart is the gateway to you and your connection with the world. If I hadn’t learned to love me first and create a strong, vibrant connection at my heart first, then I know that the rest of my healing could not take place. Nor would it continue.

The heart chakra which is what we are working on when we think about self-love. This chakra stands for love and the right to love and be loved.

This chakra is about love, self-love, compassion, forgiveness, understanding, generosity, empathy, kindness and connections to other’s hearts. When the heart chakra is healthy, you feel the love flowing through your life, you will think about how you give and receive love.

5 fabulous reasons to cultivate self-love

You learn that self-love is not selfish

It sounds rather narcissistic to say that you love yourself. If you are a preening prancing horse then maybe it’s not so cool. However, the conscious evolved kind of love where you honour and respect who you are is a wonderful place to be. Through this, you start to see that you have value.

It lets you be who you are

I’ve always been a bit quirky or as I was once described a wild child. I’m quite fond of the funny memories that my mum shares. I love to relish the silliness of being just who we want to be. For me, that includes singing to my doggies – they do like it, I’m sure. Dancing with them and generally feeling good about just being rather than trying to please others. When you love you, you can just BE.

Your essence shines through

This is my essence as well as my values. I’m essentially a free spirit (my essence) who dislikes rules and adores freedom (a value). Intuitive and demanding fair play and justice. When you love yourself, it is easier to stand by your values and live your life as essentially you. That is, like above, not being afraid of being seen as you and walking your path, your way.

Acceptance and no judgement

This has to be one of the hardest things to do. Accept and do not judge yourself or others. However, it is one of the most satisfying and for me the funniest ones to do. When I catch myself about to judge me, I eat my words, sing it away, make myself laugh and then quickly reframe. Of course, there is always room for expansion and transformation.

You can stand tall around bullies

Where once you may have had weak boundaries now you hold your head high and let the behaviour of manipulators and bullies pass you by. It becomes easier to say no, without making excuses. And when people try to emotionally blackmail you, you’ll find that it’s stuffed in the trash can as their stuff.

We’ll look at more reasons another day. For now, understand that cultivating self-love is one of the keys to inner peace and contentment.

What about you? What has loving you given you? If you don’t have it, what is the one thing you can do today to start this process and practice?

Let me share one last thing – I ask myself this question, do I love myself enough to…?

From here I know I can make good, conscious decisions.