February 2021 - Dale Darley

Archive Monthly Archives: February 2021

I Is For IKIGAI – How To Find Your Purpose #1

IKIGAI. It rolls of the tongue, doesn’t it? No doubt you’ve heard of it and or seen the four circle diagram. As a lover of concepts and processes, as well as the free flow of creativity, I latched onto this as soon as I discovered it.

The four circle diagram that we often see is not the original Ikigai either, but something modified by another coach circa 2014. Still, I can’t complain because to make it make sense to me, I, too, have modified it…

But…

I was disappointed in my search to find the real purpose and meaning behind it, because the coaches who tried to teach it to me couldn’t really explain it in a way that made sense to me. Was it about finding something in life that had purpose and meaning? Was it about why we were on Earth, learning our lessons and doing something with those lessons, or finding meaningful work and when I say work, I mean the work you were put on this Earth to do? Was it just ONE thing that I was here to do?

I was already familiar with Jim Collins From Good To Great Hedgehog concept. Which at the time of learning, it was all about work. The three questions asked were:

  • What you are deeply passionate about?
  • What you can be the best in the world at?
  • What best drives your economic or resource engine?

He said that it was understanding what you can be the best at. So, focusing on ONE thing right now that you CAN be the best at.

Ikigai asks four questions:

  • What do you LOVE?
  • What are you GOOD at?
  • What does the world NEED?
  • What can you be PAID for?

And where these intersect is no longer a hedgehog but an Ikigai. And the way that most people look at this is in the context of work.

ikigai (2)

We are not born for work; it seems that is what we spend our lives doing. But what if you did ‘work’ that was meaningful, gave your life purpose and a reason for being? Chances are that even when you retire, you will still be doing it. I know for sure I’ll still be writing. Writing has saved my life, and I would like to think that I will still be journaling and writing books to entertain others until I head back to the soul place.

What does Ikigai even mean?

Like many Japanese words, there isn’t a direct translation into English, which I love as it gives us all room to decide for ourselves what it means to us. Iki is life, and the simplest translation of gai is value or worth. The value or worth you place on life could be one way to look at it. What makes you happy or brings you joy is another way. Think about all of the little things that come together to give your life meaning. This could be your work (whatever that means to you), your family, your spiritual life, or things you do for the greater good.

Having a life of worth and value is great, but humans are wired for connection, and Ikigai needs somewhere for the energy to flow. That purpose is being of service to your community (family, friends, tribe, customers, animals, Mother Earth, etc.). Some people hate the word service, and if that’s you, think of it as sharing your gifts or your heart. Ikigai gives you a purpose because you share your gifts and are making a difference in others lives (what the world needs).

The most confusing aspect of the model was the idea of what you can be paid for if Ikigai was about life value or life purpose. But paid can be translated in many ways. It might mean money, a reward, impact, happiness, fulfilment or how you invested your time or heart.

Is Ikigai about having ONE life purpose?

I don’t think so. I believe that we come to Earth to learn our lessons and discover the gifts we share with others.

We have many turning points, and these are the Ikigias that become our reason for being at that time.

Then there are the vehicles to deliver those gifts based on our knowledge, skills and experiences to date. A vehicle could be coaching, therapy, a book, a program or a course. It could be offering a foster home to children who need a safe space, creating food banks or animal shelters. Your vehicle could be a sport that you love, and when that career ends, you may coach others to excel in it – that’s two Ikigais…

When I look at the themes of my life, they are constantly evolving. When my spine fractured, my Ikigai was to inspire others to know that they could heal naturally. When I wrote my first memoir, which was a collection of life stories, it was to inspire others to write theirs and for the readers to know that there are gifts in our strange lives.

As I grow and evolve, I know that my Ikigai now helps others discover who they are, use their story, give it meaning (find it’s purpose), and go out and inspire others lives – to change the world. Most of my customers (friends with amazing hearts) write books, create courses and programs. Your customers might learn about nutrition or some other healing modality from you.

Ikigai and purpose

ikigai

Ikigai is about finding purpose, but it is much deeper that that and in my ponderings this is how I have extended the model for me:

  • Love and good at = passion – what drives you
  • Love and world needs = purpose – what pulls you
  • World needs and rewards = values and living by your values
  • Good at and rewards = other motivators and opportunities for growth

The net result is your reason for being.

The secret to a happy life

The secret to a happy life, I think, is to know who you are, who you are becoming, feel confident in that, live by your values, look at where you have been, where you are and to celebrate often how far you have come, find and follow your hearts desires, be grateful for the lessons and gifts and to do stuff that fills your heart for which you get the greatest reward.

There are probably more secrets, but these fundamentally work for me.

Finally, let me ask you, and these questions are based on right now:

  • What is it that I find most important in life?
  • What makes MY life worth living?
  • What gives my life meaning?
  • What drives you?
  • What pulls you towards being your best self?
  • Where do I find fulfilment?
  • How do I give my heart’s desires more meaning?
  • How am I living by my values?
  • What are the stories that shape me that I can use to inspire others?
  • What are the greatest rewards of my life right now?

Get out there and live a happy life, which, wherever you are, doing whatever you are doing is your reason for being right now.

What is your Ikigai, for right now?

For a chat over Ikigai or something else that needs a brainstorm, book in for a Power Hour.

It’s Time To Do What You Love

Let’s start with that question – is it time to do what you love?

What comes up when you ask yourself the question? Do you smugly smile at the screen and tell me I am. Or, are you feeling a little off key and wishing that you could find the thing or turn your thing into profitable products?

It can feel rather overwhelming – can’t it?

I adore helping people to turn their stories into products – books, courses, programs, blogs etc. My way of doing it is to create one piece of content and then looking at how it can be used many times.

But that’s the way I do it. The thing I love is exploring ideas and creatively finding ways to inspire others. I am like a little child when I am being creative and working with ideas – it’s play time.

And I love books but oh deary me – formating and uploading and all that faff leaves me cold. But when I get them done and back in my mits – I am overjoyed.

As a child my mum would lose me – often – because I would go off wandering. I wonder where this would take me? What if I climbed over this? What would those flowers look like with no heads? How do I put this watch back together? I could while away endless hours lost in curious play. And, of course, get told off for my misdeeds – which I could never understand.

When forced out of dirty wellies and rats tail hair and into the world of work, I’d always look for ways to make my job more interesting. Do you know how many ways you can seal and pack envelopes? Thank you the Civil Service for those endless boring tasks…

Naturally, this got chanelled into doing things I loved. I adored selling software because I could see so many ways that a company could be more efficient and effective. What do you mean you have a problem… Let me show you this!

When my spine fractured, I spent a long time working out how to heal naturally and get back to better health. I channelled my inner wild child into my healing.

And now lockdown. No where to go (mostly) except in my imagination.

But here is the secret sauce, I get to turn my ideas into tangible assets for myself and others. I feel excited that so many people are thinking about – how do I do what I love? How can I turn my story and passion into products or services easily?

Has lockdown changed you?

It has made me reflect me and do a massive declutter. But most importantly it got me thinking about a life of purpose and meaning and I started to think of my dreams and hearts desires.

Did you know that I want to write a novel? Maybe or maybe not. When I was in my last relationship everything felt that it was being destroyed. But the dream never left me.

There is now a book cover mockup proudly sitting on my vision board. I have some of it outlined and I can feel its pull. Though I think I need to get out of these four walls before I can write more creatively – or is that my block talking to me…?

What I have noticed is that many people still dream of creating a life of purpose and meaning, where they listen to their hearts and manifest magic but think they can’t for some reason. I get it…

It’s like they are frozen at the crossroads of their life wondering how to jump out of their comfort zone and into the field of possibilities.

They believe it’s too late, that they are too old for that specific dream or they don’t have the skills to reach for what they want.

But the truth is it’s never too late to follow your dreams and claim your hearts desires.

My mum is an amazing example of someone who thought she couldn’t write and who has now written 7 books. She amazes me.

Today she is painting and indulging her artist side, which was denied to her for many years.

What do you love?

The heart of you and your hearts desires are all about what you love and your passion. What do you love doing and what are you passionate about? Remember, you can be passionate about many things, and you can link some of these together to inspire others and to make an impact in the world.

Ikigai

Have you heard of Ikigai? Ikigai is a great tool for looking at the passion and purpose question. Ikigai roughly translates into the meaning of your life. The reason it is useful is that it wakes you up to your reason for being and helps you to live a life where you feel fulfilled. I believe that the books, courses and programs that we create and share must both speak to our hearts and be commercially viable.

  • The basis of IKIGAI is not to only enrich your own life, but also to enhance the lives of others
  • Every person has a strong drive to find meaning in life – purpose
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Seeking fulfilment and inner peace

Purpose and meaning arrive at different times of your life, which means that you may have many IKIGAI’s.

Defining your Ikigai is a very personal and private journey and combining it with some pro-active business planning can result in achieving what you love to do and much, much more!

I love discovering someones one thing. Often when someone comes to write a book, create a course or program they find their lives disrupted as they work through their ideas and identity. They start off with ‘just’ an idea, and then they realise it’s more than the book, course of program it’s their brand and their business. It’s their life’s mission.

Four questions

Right now, grab a pen and scribble. There are four important questions I’d like you to consider.

  • What do you LOVE?
  • What are you GOOD at?
  • What does the world NEED?
  • What can you be PAID for?

These four questions are fundamental to working out not only your idea but what the business is that you want to create around it. Please take your time and spend time reflecting on each area. Then notice where you feel the excitement, and where you feel resistance.

Note: Ikigai is a very deep process, and here you are just scratching the surface, which is a great starting point. My hope is that it raises questions in you that you want to explore further.

Journal it: Ask your four questions. What do you learn?

Here’s a few other things to mull over

Let me know what resonates. Grab your journal and explore…

  • Some dreams and hearts desires simply seem too big to achieve. If that is the reason you think it’s too late, try breaking the dream down into small steps or stages. I’m laughing at myself on this one. Who me, write a novel…? List the steps and keep it simple.
  • There are many people of all ages going after their hearts desires. Many have faced decades of disappointment and unfulfilled lives. They discovered later in life that they have the resilience, experience, and self-knowledge to pursue their purpose. Think Louise Hay or JK Rowling… Age is not a barrier. Start today and go after what you want. Do what you love!
  • Let go of regrets. As you get older, you don’t want to be filled with regret because you didn’t try to do the things you loved or attempt to obtain what you longed to do in life. Remember Bronnie Ware and the regrets of the dying? It’s powerful stuff. I for one don’t want to leave without a) writing that book and b) inspiring you to find purpose and meaning in your life. Look at your book of regrets and pick one thing that you want to let go of. Then start your next adventure today.
  • Being remembered well. Following your dreams and hearts desires and doing what you love, influences the mark you leave on the world and how you will be remembered. We cannot force legacy on others, but how we live our lives will shape how we are remembered. How do you want to be remembered?
  • Just take one step. Any aligned step you take towards your dream and heart’s desire gets you closer to success. Many believe it’s too late to follow their dreams because they would be taking a step backwards. In reality, the past is a place of reference and right now is the best time to become and be. What is your next aligned step to being able to manifest your heart’s desire and do what you love?
  • Ask for support. Other people will help and encourage you on your journey if you let them know that this is your way forward. Look out for those people who will support you as you become the best version of yourself. And I am sure you will make new friends along the way. Who is on your A-team?

All you need to remember is that you are never too old to go towards your hearts desiresand to do what you love. All you have to do is decide what you want and take action to go after it.

Book a call and let’s explore

Episode Five: Stepping Into Confidence

In this episode I talk about becoming more confident

I think that self-confidence is hard to define because it’s a feeling and a feeling that is unique to the individual. You will know when you feel confident and when you don’t. You may also feel confident in some areas of your life and not in others.

Read more about confidence in the blog: Happy To Be Me: Stepping Into Confidence. The link for the circle of confidence exercise is here.

For your journal

Questions to ask

  • What does confidence mean to you?
  • What does it look like?
  • What does it feel like?
  • What does it sound like?
  • When do you feel at your most confident?
  • When you put certain clothes on, do you feel confident? Why?
  • What activities can you tackle with confidence?
  • What makes you feel good about yourself?

Join our Happy To Be Me Community

Happy To Be Me: Stepping Into Confidence

I think that self-confidence is hard to define because it’s a feeling and a feeling that is unique to the individual. You will know when you feel confident and when you don’t. You may also feel confident in some areas of your life and not in others.

The best way to look at confidence is to look at fear, uncertainty and doubt and self-worth and understand how each of these affects our ability to feel confident about who we are, what we do and how we show up.

We all have knowledge, skills and experiences that are stashed away in our inner resources container. But something, sometimes stops us trusting and believing that we have the right to access and use them.

What probably happens is that you take something on or are asked to do something and all of a sudden, self-doubt creeps in, and you start asking, can I do this? Or your inner critic will pop up and say if only I have enough confidence or some other quality to do this.

Confidence has a lot to do with liking who you are, in fact, I’d say it’s deeper than that it’s about self-love and acceptance.

I always ask what the worst thing that could happen when you try something new or scary is? I decide that I am going to give something a go because the best thing that could happen is that I learn something new about me and I get feedback on the thing that I have just tried.

When things feel hopeless, it seems that this is all we have, however, if we stopped for a moment and asked what do I have, you will see that you have some great foundations to build on.

I’m never surprised that I have confidence in some areas and little confidence in other areas. I’m also never surprised that no matter where I am on the confidence scale, I can become derailed and find myself wondering how I got myself into a hole.

It’s at times like these that I pick myself up and remind myself that the people around me do not define me and what they do or say is a reflection of them and their life. Although in the moment I can feel pretty awful. This is where my journal supports me. When I write about how I feel, things start to make sense. I pick myself up by my boots, look at what’s happened, take on board the feelings and learning and do something about it.

Listen to the stepping into confidence podcast

Stepping into confidence

I have this great exercise called the circle of confidence. My invitation is for you to try it. It’s about stepping into confidence and then being able to use all of the resources to do whatever it is you need to.

The Circle Of Confidence Exercise starts at 2.41

Confidence and the solar plexus

Confidence sits in the solar plexus alongside assertiveness, personal power and your identity. When you work on the solar plexus and these things, you will find that you become more confident in many areas of your life.

What is confidence?

Confidence is unique to you

No matter who defines what confidence is, it will be unique to you, and it’s worth keeping a note of where you feel confident and where it desserts you.

Confidence is acknowledging fear and not giving in

Confidence and courage go hand in hand, and together they will support you to not give in. It is important to know what being scared or fearful feels or looks like, acknowledging it exists and equally important to not submit to it – being courageous. Doing something new can be a little scary – have faith, that all will be good and as it should be and call on your positive mindset – being confident.

Confidence is about trust

Trust yourself, and trust in yourself, so that others can trust you. It is also feeling certain that you can and if you can’t, certain that you will find a way. I love people who just say yes (in the right circumstances) and then work out how.

Confidence is a knowing

Confidence is also believing and knowing that you are your best resource and asset. Confidence is acknowledging that you are scared, but trusting, believing and being certain about what you ‘put out there’ is great stuff.

Look around you, who do you see, think, sense or know is confident? How do you know? Have you spoken with them, read their blog, heard great things from others? Are they quietly confident or incredibly charismatic or somewhere in-between? You can learn a lot from watching and noticing other people. Ask yourself right now, what does confidence mean to you?

Questions to ask

  • What does confidence mean to you?
  • What does it look like?
  • What does it feel like?
  • What does it sound like?
  • When do you feel at your most confident?
  • When you put certain clothes on, do you feel confident? Why?
  • What activities can you tackle with confidence?
  • What makes you feel good about yourself?

Remember to try this stepping into confidence exercise – rather than repeat it – head to the blog. Try it out and let me know how you got on.

Check out our courses here. Or book a call with me and let’s explore…

Let’s Meet Anxiety And Start To Overcome It

Let’s meet anxiety

Today, I was journaling and thinking back through ‘stuff’ I’d been through as my eye caught a picture of one of my dogs. Ferdy left me to go to the great field in the sky last year and I literally broke my heart – as you do.

It was while I was looking at the picture my mum had painted that I recalled walking him one day and finding myself struggling to breathe. It had seemed odd at the time as I walked him at least 3 times a day and up and down many hills.

I’d sat in front of the doctor as he told me, after patiently listening to my story, that I had anxiety. Firstly, and silly me, I didn’t know what that was and I couldn’t see how I could possibly be anxious.

He prescribed me Prozac. I was shocked. But I figured that I needed space to breathe and to slow it down so that I could work out what was going on.

And ever practical I created an exit strategy.

Firstly I changed my diet, took the pills, journaled and became a curious observer of my life.

And sure enough I had to admit things had got a little out of control.

Bit by bit I found myself again. Followed my exit strategy, as it turned out a tad too soon – that’s a story for another day – and did feel better for a while.

The trouble was I was living with the problem.

I discovered in my exploration to understand this thing, that anxiety goes much deeper than stress and is more internalised. It may not have an obvious cause or trigger. Anxiety is typically characterised by a persistent feeling of apprehension or dread. Unlike stress, anxiety, persists and niggles.

While many people feel anxious from time to time, it’s when the anxious feelings don’t go away, seem to happen without any particular reason or make it hard to cope with daily life it may be the sign of an anxiety condition.

Becoming aware of anxiety

Just for a moment stop and ask yourself what the last two weeks have been like. Have you felt any of these?

  • A heightened fear of what people think of you
  • Afraid of being trapped in a place with no exits
  • Always feeling angry and lack of patience
  • Binge eating, emotional eating or eating rubbish for the sake of it
  • Binging on Netflix or Facebook
  • Constant feeling of being overwhelmed
  • Depression
  • Dramatic mood swings (emotional flipping)
  • Easily annoyed or irritable
  • Emotionally blunted, flat, or numb
  • Emotions feel wrong
  • Everything is scary, frightening
  • Feel like crying for no apparent reason
  • Feeling down in the dumps
  • Feeling like something awful is going to happen
  • Feeling like things are unreal or dreamlike
  • Felt nervous or on edge
  • Frequently being on edge or ‘grouchy’
  • Have no feelings about things you used to
  • Not able to sleep, frequently waking up and other sleep disturbances
  • Not feeling like yourself, detached from loved ones, emotionally numb
  • Restless and can’t sit still, but don’t know what to do with yourself
  • Trouble relaxing
  • Underlying anxiety, apprehension, or fear
  • Worrying about many things
  • You feel like you are under pressure all the time

If you have – score 1 for every yes:

What would you add?

Add up your score. If you have more than 4, you probably have some level of anxiety.

What do you learn about yourself when you look at your score? Was it hard to admit or did you feel relieved that you could see a pattern to your feelings?

Going forward and looking at anxiety

Write down anytime you feel anxious during the next 21 days. You can start now in your journal – write down any feelings of anxiety you are having today – use the list above to guide you.

Journaling prompts

  • What were you doing right before you had anxiety?
  • What thoughts were you having right before the anxiety?
  • How did you feel?
  • What did you notice about your body (aches etc.)?

What’s interesting is that you may not have noticed any of these, instead I would invite you to think about what you were eating or drinking.

Why?

Because your diet can have an effect on your mood.

One way to understand this is to keep a food, energy, mood and sleep journal.

Where do you go from here?

Start with your journal.

In your journal ask what is coming up that you feel anxious about – choose something small.

Write about how you would like this event to turn out. Imagine it’s 15 minutes after you have successfully completed whatever it is. How do you feel, see, hear? What did you do to make it successful?

Now apply this simple journaling technique to other things that are coming up. What do you notice when you do this?

Chances are this will soothe 95% of the things that are coming up.

From here – when you wake up choose a word for your day that will take you into a good place. Check this out.

Check out our courses on anxiety here. Or book a call with me and let’s explore…

Crown Chakra– Connection and the right to know and understand

What are chakras?

chakras

The chakras are energy points or centres in our bodies in and out of which energy flows. In Sanskrit chakra means wheel so you could imagine them to be spinning wheels or vortexes of energy. Just as you have memories stored in your brain, your chakras are mini data centres where everything that has happened to you is stored. Each centre houses specific experiences. How cool is that to have your own mini you library stored in areas of your body? I also believe that they hold keys to our future selves too.

Just as we have a physical body, chakras can be likened to our spiritual body. Each one acts like a window to the soul and will feed information back to you about the state of your health and life. The health and energetic vibration of each chakra is influenced by the energies that surround you and the energy you project from your thoughts and feelings. This shows up in how you feel and experience life.

Crown Chakra– Connection and the right to know and understand

This is located just behind the top of your skull. The right of this chakra is to know and understand.

Colour violet. Element – consciousness. Planet – Moon. The right to know. Emotion – attachment. Endocrine gland – Pineal. Spine – C1. Age 42-49. Day of the week – Sunday

Needs

The crown chakra connects you to your highest spiritual consciousness, the divine, expanded personal expression, purpose and having an open mind. The crown chakra focuses your attention on the spiritual side of life. It allows for your spirituality to become integrated into your physical life. The crown chakra gives you access to the divine and motivates you to seek a deeper connection to the divine. It is also knowing that the divine is in all of us. It is a place of intuitive knowledge and wisdom. Remember that the first chakra connects you to Mother Earth, this chakra connects you to the divine and when they are connected to each other create a universal pathway that supports mind, body, soul and spirit. This is the third of the spiritual chakras which opens the gateway to developing claircognizance.

Balanced

When this chakra is balanced, you feel connected to Universal consciousness, your higher-self, can see and understand the bigger picture and that there is a purpose larger than what is going on inside yourself. You will have a deeper understanding of what your life purpose it and how that brings meaning into your life.

Manifesting

In terms of manifesting, your connection with the Universe will enable you to manifest magic, and bring your dreams into consciousness.

Crown chakra – Attachment

This chakra is blocked by attachment and closes down our right to know. By releasing attachments (psychological or physical), we are able to be aware of a global or collective conscious, as well as the larger purpose. You may be feeling lost and creatively stuck as if everyone else knows what they’re doing, but you don’t know what to do next.

Ask what you are attached to? Money, love, sex, things? How can you let these attachments go? Who will you be when you let them go? The goal is to completely surrender; letting go of anything that has a hold on you. It is said that to open this chakra, you need to let go of attachments and outdated beliefs so that you can feel a greater sense of inner peace.

Affirmation 

I am connected to my purpose

Grab your copy of the Root Chakra Journaling Book here

Thinking About Changing Direction? Write A Book First

Writing has always been a part of my life, I wish I knew then what I know now and had created an exit strategy when I was in corporate that included writing a book and building my brand before I moved on.

Having the opportunity and foresight to plan your exit or entrance is a wonderful thing. You may be running a business that you think you are enjoying when a change in government rules changes everything overnight. Or in a career that no longer feeds your soul.

Or you may be struggling with the current pandemic – which has changed everything.

The business or career that you thought you loved may become a complete nightmare. Imagine going from being profitable, loving every day to pulling your hair out because you cannot make any headway.

Currently we are in lockdown, however years ago I was running a government funded project which was amazing – they pulled the plug with just six weeks notice. Doh!

On the other hand what if you wake up one day and a quiet voice in your head asks you to wake up. You are not really happy, the business is ok, but you are not going anywhere fast soon, using your skills and you certainly don’t feel any passion.

The wake-up call however it reaches you is often too late. If you are a tad impulsive, you may don your rubber armbands, hold your nose and jump into the sea of new opportunities with some consideration, but not your all-important well crafted personal brand and business strategy.

We all have something that we could write about or build a business around. It may not seem like it right now. But consider this…

What if your story was turned into a self-help book? What if you could turn that into an online course or a coaching business?

Have you had stress and anxiety? Perhaps you have been plagued by IBS, Candida or some other gut issue? What about low self-worth or imposter syndrome?

Write yourself a list of possibles – what fills you with joy or a passion? Or what could be a passion project for 1-2 years?

The downside?

I once wrote a book called healing osteoporosis naturally and never published it. I did indeed heal the osteoporosis naturally and writing the book helped me to do that.

But the subject left me cold…

Whereas journaling and writing excite me. As does working with the energy of the chakras and helping my clients to be ‘Happy To Be Me.

So, think for a while, journal around your thoughts and feelings and let’s chat.

Your book

Writing a book is not just about the book, it is a process that connects you to your inner wisdom, helps you to discover your voice, helps you to grow as a person and gives you a great marketing vehicle.

Before you start to write a book

One of the areas I always explore with my writers is their values, passion, vision and purpose, these set the foundations of the book (and your personal branding strategy).

What do you want to create?

I always ask first – what do you want to create in the world?

Creation is about envisioning. Often if you can’t see it, you can’t create it or manifest it. You may have already created some of what you want to create, but you might not have realised it.

Other questions might include:

  • What are the greatest things you could accomplish, given the right circumstances, inspiration, support, resources and motivation?
  • When you die, what would you want people to say and remember about you?
  • What kind of life do you want to have lived at age 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and 80?
  • What kinds of people do you want to be surrounded by and who do you want to have a relationship with?
  • What could you contribute to the world that would make you feel proud and content?

Values

Values are ways of being that mean something important to you. Your values are the qualities that you want to present to the world. They are what you believe are important. They are the foundations of who you are. Your book and strategy must embody your values.

Passion

Your passion (combined with your knowledge, skills and experience) is what you will be distilling through your writing. You may not be clear on what that is yet. You may be passionate about many things, what we are looking for is the one thing right now that you could write about that resonates with you.

Vision

Vision drives your direction; it is future-based and relies on you taking action to get you there. Your vision, then, is something that will propel you towards things that you want to achieve in the future. You must write a book for where you want to be, not where you are or what you are currently doing.

Purpose

“You need purpose to propel you in the right direction, keep you motivated and on track, especially on bad hair days.”

Finding your purpose leads to a purposeful book or one that has a purpose. A purpose-led book is one that is written from your heart; it has meaning to you and to those that you share it with. When you write with purpose, your writing will flow; you will feel a deep connection to it.

The purpose of your book is to help others to imagine what is possible for them from what you have discovered, experienced, learnt and are now sharing.

What about your personal story?

People often get confused about autobiography, biography, memoir, and personal story. For clarity they are:-

  • Autobiography is most of your life – it’s what famous people do…
  • A biography is about someone else
  • A memoir is a slice of your life – told in story form
  • A personal story is a slice of your life with a learning point and contains how-to/self-help

A personal story is a way to write about a part of your life that has enabled you to create change, expansion and transformation and is designed to inspire someone else to do something with their life. It is connected to your core message and is often used as a part of your personal brand.

You will probably use it for coaching, courses, workshops and programs. It is the perfect formula for a transition book.

Next steps for writing a book include

  • Creating a personal branding strategy and whatever that might entail. You may start blogging and going to local networking meetings.
  • Market and ideal reader (customer) research.
  • Consider your business strategy – will you provide coaching, workshops, online training and speaking?
  • Your book and business marketing strategy.
  • Asking what questions your book answers .
  • What value will your reader get?
  • Creating an outline and chapter framework to give you clarity and chunk it down to make it easier to write. You will be writing it before you head to work or possibly weekends and evenings. Yes, you do need to be dedicated and motivated.
  • Writing to the first draft.
  • Editing.
  • Cover design.
  • Publishing.
  • Launching.
  • Ongoing marketing.
  • Perhaps an online course?

What your book will give you

Today a business book adds an extra dimension to your credibility as an expert. It allows you to demonstrate your expertise, skills, knowledge, experiences and passion. A business book can support your workshops, help you to develop other products and services and be used as a highly effective marketing tool.

Not only that you can use it as a lead generator, driving traffic to your website and if you turn it into an online course another source of revenue (and that can’t be bad can it?).

Go on what are you waiting for write your book and jump into the sea, the temperature is just perfect.

Need more support? Enrol on a course or connect with me

And don’t forget to sign up to get your copy of 101 questions.

Third Eye – Vision and the right to see

What are chakras?

chakras

The chakras are energy points or centres in our bodies in and out of which energy flows. In Sanskrit chakra means wheel so you could imagine them to be spinning wheels or vortexes of energy. Just as you have memories stored in your brain, your chakras are mini data centres where everything that has happened to you is stored. Each centre houses specific experiences. How cool is that to have your own mini you library stored in areas of your body? I also believe that they hold keys to our future selves too.

Just as we have a physical body, chakras can be likened to our spiritual body. Each one acts like a window to the soul and will feed information back to you about the state of your health and life. The health and energetic vibration of each chakra is influenced by the energies that surround you and the energy you project from your thoughts and feelings. This shows up in how you feel and experience life.

Third Eye – Vision and the right to see

This is located above the physical eyes on the centre of the forehead. The right of this chakra is the right to see without illusions.

Colour – indigo. Element – light. Planet – Sun.  The right to see. Emotion – illusion. Endocrine gland – Pituitary. Spine – C4 to C2. Age 35-41. Day of the week – Saturday

Needs

Your third eye chakra is about seeing differently, perception, imagination, your psychic ability, and higher intuition. It also deals with your relationship with yourself and connection to your Higher Self. It is the place of imagination, insight, visualisation, dreams, and visions. Here you will receive guidance which can be corroborated with your emotions at the sacral and gut feelings at the solar plexus. This chakra acts as our guiding light in life, giving us the ability to see solutions, be objective, and clear-headed. It is here that we bridge left and right-brained thinking and get our most significant insights. This is the second of the spiritual chakras which open the gateway to developing clairvoyance.

Balanced

When this is balanced, you understand how things around you are working, you can solve challenges calmly, you will have clarity of vision and thought, you are imaginative and intuitive, and possess great insight. Using your intuition and imagination and can turn your ideas into brilliant visions. You will use this inner sense to ask for guidance to make the right decisions.

Manifesting

In terms of manifesting what you want, you are able to envision what it will look like when your dreams become a reality.

Third eye chakra – Illusion

This chakra deals with insight, which is blocked by illusion, and this closes down our right to see. This chakra asks us to release the illusions that hold us back from clarity and truth. When your visions are not allowed to come to fruition, then you can feel separated from all that is dear to you. It is believed that one of the biggest illusions humans have is the illusion of separation. The illusion that we are separated from the rest of the world. Because in fact, we are all one. We may not be equal, but energetically we are one. Ask why you are unable to create a vision for your life? What illusions do you put in the way of bringing your visions to life? When you dare to dream and turn these into goals, you will find that your life will change in unexpected ways.

Affirmation

I see everything clearly and with confidence

Throat chakra – Voice and the right to speak and hear the truth

What are the chakras?

Journaling Through The Chakras

The chakras are energy points or centres in our bodies in and out of which energy flows. In Sanskrit chakra means wheel so you could imagine them to be spinning wheels or vortexes of energy. Just as you have memories stored in your brain, your chakras are mini data centres where everything that has happened to you is stored. Each centre houses specific experiences. How cool is that to have your own mini you library stored in areas of your body? I also believe that they hold keys to our future selves too.

Just as we have a physical body, chakras can be likened to our spiritual body. Each one acts like a window to the soul and will feed information back to you about the state of your health and life. The health and energetic vibration of each chakra is influenced by the energies that surround you and the energy you project from your thoughts and feelings. This shows up in how you feel and experience life.

The Throat Chakra

This is located in the V of the collarbone at your lower neck. The throat chakra is how you communicate. A lot of personal transformation can occur here when you finally learn to speak your truth and follow your dreams. It is from here you can communicate and express your divine inner wisdom.

You will find yourself being sensitive to the power of words, think about how you speak to yourself and others. It also influences your ability to actively listen to and hear others, which is how you create your foundation for understanding.

When this chakra is balanced, you will be able to express yourself well, communicate clearly and listen to your inner voice as well as others.

Colour blue. Element ether. The right to speak and hear the truth. Emotion – lies. Endocrine gland – Thyroid. Spine – T1 to C5

Balance

Connect with your throat chakra and say no, and then yes. Consider what you need and want to say no and yes to. Use your no’s and yes’s wisely through your day.

Inner peace

Sit quietly before you write and connect with your quiet inner voice. Sigh out everything you need to express. Breathe in and out the words I have the right to speak your truth and then write.

Journaling prompts

  • In what ways do you express yourself well, why is this, and how can you carry this learning into other areas of your life?
  • How can you practice saying no more and not following it with excuses that others could override?
  • What can you say yes to?
  • How can stop your brain whizzing off in different directions so that you can be more fully present to what others are saying?
  • How could you communicate your needs more effectively?
  • How can you speak to yourself more loving way?

Affirmation 

I honour and respect my truth and voice

Sacral Chakra – Creativity and the right to feel

What are the chakras?

Journaling Through The Chakras

The chakras are energy points or centres in our bodies in and out of which energy flows. In Sanskrit chakra means wheel so you could imagine them to be spinning wheels or vortexes of energy. Just as you have memories stored in your brain, your chakras are mini data centres where everything that has happened to you is stored. Each centre houses specific experiences. How cool is that to have your own mini you library stored in areas of your body? I also believe that they hold keys to our future selves too.

Just as we have a physical body, chakras can be likened to our spiritual body. Each one acts like a window to the soul and will feed information back to you about the state of your health and life. The health and energetic vibration of each chakra is influenced by the energies that surround you and the energy you project from your thoughts and feelings. This shows up in how you feel and experience life.

The Sacral Chakra

This chakra is located two inches below the navel and is rooted in the spine. This is about your basic needs around sexuality, creativity, passion, intuition, and self-worth. This chakra is the first of the emotional chakras. It governs your sense of self-esteem and confidence in your creativity. When I think of this chakra, I also think of play and joy, this is where your inner child has the most fun. At this, chakra it is about emotions, feelings and your right to feel. When this chakra is in balance, it is easier to be in touch with your emotions and to more fully express your feelings in the world. Colour orange. Element water. The right to feel. Emotion – guilt. Endocrine gland – Pancreas. Spine – L3 to L5.

Balance

Connect with your sacral chakra through music, dance, creativity or pleasure. Find some time to listen to music that makes you want to simply sway with the rhythm. As you do this, you will find a natural balance.

Inner peace

Sit quietly before you write and connect with your feelings. Where are the moments that bring you a feeling of pleasure and gratitude? Focus on these, smile and then write.

Journaling prompts

  • In what ways, are you always able to express your emotions? Think about the emotions that you feel right now and describe them.
  • Think about the connections that you have with others (not family), how can you strengthen these bonds?
  • When guilt comes up to bite you on the bum, in what areas of your life does it show up and why? What can you learn from this? What happens when you look at guilt from a different perspective?
  • In what ways do you honour your sexuality and sensuality?
  • When it comes to intimacy, in what ways do you respect your needs?
  • How can you bring more creativity into your life?

Affirmation 

I fully love, honour and respect my emotions

Take a look at my range of chakra journaling books

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