Book writing coach

All Posts by Dale Darley

How to get connected to your conscious inner planner

Getting connected to your inner planner means that you will understand why your strategy is working or not. Consider this… If you like fresh, new and exciting why would you add a year-long business club to your product portfolio? If you do, you may find that after a while you are bored and not able to deliver what you promised your clients.

Instead by understanding your inner planner you may find that running a series of short programs excite and motivate you more. Which means you will love what you do and deliver great value to your clients.

If you consider how conscious planning fits into your life and business and get connected to your inner planner, then you will know what to effectively focus on. The first thing to consider is that planning isn’t an extension of the past. Yes we can learn from the past, and that feedback can be relevant and useful, however, we want to focus on who we are in the now and what we want.

Not what we think we want, more the deep down scary thing we desire with all of our hearts and souls.

I get that achieving your big scary hairy thing right now might not be appropriate. You may, for example, have a job which pays the bills while your heart is in an entrepreneurial business venture. That’s ok because at least you know what you want and you can lay the foundations. You can plan for it. You may want to build an build an online course, retreat and coaching process after exploring options.

The other scenario could be that you have a vague idea of what you want, something is pulling at you; something is lurking in your subconscious. That’s ok too because you can explore and experiment and use that feedback to feed into your plan.

There is never one size fits all, and there is not one way of planning. There is your way, as I have discovered. The more I analyse how I do things, and I mean in an honest way, the more I scare myself with what I discover. That is, scare me in a good way. The realisation of why, what and how I honestly do things and owning that is powerful. It also means that when I am aware, awake and alive to me and my stuff, I can accept my flaws and take action to change and to make conscious decisions. Do I stay doing what doesn’t work or do I get off my backside and change my habits and rethink my strategy?

So what do you think I am going to do? Damn right – change!

Hidden Content

What is conscious planning?

First. let’s consider what a plan is:-

  • A technical drawing
  • Intended actions

Let’s pull that apart – a drawing. Mmmm I like that. As a mostly visual person, I like to see a picture of what my plan is.

Intended as in intention. Once I have my drawing I can set my intention about what I do with it. Yep, I like that too.

Next, think about conscious.

  • Awake, aware, alert and to know.

https://en.wiktionary.org/

Together then I am looking at creating a drawing, from which I will set some intentions to take actions of which I am fully awake and aware of. Plus, I am going to tap into a knowing to enable me to make decisions about this plan. So far so good.

What about the speed of change and the impact of our plans?

When I consider what my technology looked like when I entered the IT industry in 1981 to what I have today, I can see the rate of change has been immense. Will that continue? I don’t know, but technology plays an important part in how we all work today. It can seem that to get what we want we have to embrace all of this ‘stuff’. We don’t. There are some tools that will work for us and some that would be nice to have and others that are complete time wasters. Pick your technology wisely and don’t rely on it, as I have learned to my cost.

What about the resources that Mother Earth has taken millions of years to create? It appears that humans can deplete them in what seems a nanosecond. What then? Our conscious planning must then take into account the environment that we find ourselves in and the available resources. What can we do to ensure no harm when we develop our plans? That is no harm to all and the environment.

People change. The way that people buy is changing, or at least I’ve noticed how I feel about sales techniques changing. With social media comes a clumsiness and I often feel bombarded with crass messaging and approaches. Sometimes I think I must be overly sensitive. Many approaches appear to still be fear-based marketing and formulaic, and yes you need a process and a map, but it doesn’t need to be automated to death and lifeless.

What I see and I guess that is because of the kinds of people I surround myself with is, the rapid change to people wanting a deeper more personal connection, they want to feel the pull of someone’s energy rather than have products and services pushed at them.

What do you notice about how you feel when you are being sold to?

That will tell you about how your inner planner needs to develop your sales and marketing strategy.

Many businesses have their eye on a cause and include something cause related in their planning model. Cause can also mean purpose, your big why in this world.

My cause is being heard, especially around healing. In January 2018 my spine fractured and I was poured into a sausage factory and I was not listened to. I fought to find the root cause of my osteoporosis and from there I knew that I had to help other people heal naturally. My inner planner knows how to develop and deliver my message around this cause.

As we consider these aspects then how about considering how these impact your approach to planning and the impact your plan and actions have on the people around you and globally?

You do not need a crystal ball, and although you have a plan and vision, things can change. Know you and be prepared.

 

Remember you do not have a crystal ball, and although you have a vision and a plan, things can change. Be prepared in the best way that you can.

What kind of planner are you?

I use a tool for my clients called what kind of planner are you. It provides insights for both of us when working out how to get the best out of our relationship. Naturally, I also become a witness to them and soon learn how to support them. However, it’s one thing being good at spotting how others plan and another understanding how I plan. You will probably have discovered the same.

I have a pattern to how I plan and there are areas I struggle with. In becoming more conscious of this, I have been able to put actions into place that excites me. We all have patterns, typical ways of doing things.

To be more productive and effective, we need to understand ourselves and the habits or patterns we have formed.

It is vital that when you begin to plan you understand your preferences, as this will help you not only to get started, but also to finish.

How we think, feels like a ‘natural’ part of us. You may be unaware of these non-conscious patterns until you learn to recognise them. Become a witness, and you will soon learn to identify them through your language and behaviour. This is often why projects fail – people simply do not know why they may become overwhelmed or lose interest or motivation. It’s all down to your preferences.

Having a preference for a particular pattern of behaviour can be very beneficial when that pattern is useful in a particular context. On the other hand, you might find it difficult to adapt your behaviour, even when that way of doing something could be more beneficial.

Consider how being more flexible with your thinking and behaviour may lead to more productive outcomes.

There are many types of planner. You may recognise yourself in some of these descriptions. I would invite you to take a good look at how you plan, consider what excites you, where you usually stop or pause and why, what keeps you motivated, what overwhelms you or what makes you want to not plan at all.

Big picture

The type that loves post-it notes and big rolls of brown paper or expanses of white walls to put post-its on.

Slow it down. Take time to reflect, but not much, organise around three core projects (this reduces overwhelm), reflect, craft a strategy for each and keep everything in achievable chunks. Look for connecting patterns in your three core projects. Go back to your wall quarterly (or monthly if you must) and do a refresher based on what happened and what you learned. This will keep your excitement and motivation high. Take one project at a time and apply detail. Yes, ouch detail…

Detail lovers

Not necessarily a fan of the big picture. You use planning tools and like to know what is happening now. You like to see your whole day planned out to within an inch of its life. You may be a daily, weekly or a monthly detail person. Whichever you are everything in your life and business is planned out.

You might not like to see the big picture; I would still encourage a planning with your outline plan on it and review it daily, then, go to your daily planner. You can put as much detail on as is necessary for you. Maybe do this quarterly so that you don’t get big picture sickness.

The over planner

You might do post-it notes, but more than likely you have a set of planning tools, and you just keep planning. You might even use planning to procrastinate. I’m going to suggest that you create a planning wall, from which you apply your planning tools, map out the big picture, apply detail and set a timer.

Break your year up into monthly chunks and then divide into quarters. Using your planner outline your strategy for each month and create links between activities, outcomes and the next month and quarter. Add in feedback loops. Step back and review. Then if you feel inclined, update your planner, and do it. Now take one thing and implement it. Feed it back into your plan. What was it like to stop planning and start doing?

Plan, who me, inner planner, who?

Ok, so you never plan, and things rarely get finished.

Have a go at the brown paper or white wall and post it notes, then try a planning tool, and give yourself one hour at each. Then ask which did you get the most out of. Stick with that for one week and work on one thing. How did it go, what did you learn, did you get anything done? If yes, why, what worked and if no, why not. Adapt what you learn and make it work for you. Ask someone to hold you accountable and dig deep to make the relationship and what you want to achieve work.

There are many more planning types and variations on these themes. My point is that you will have a style, understand it, know you and then flex it and you so that things get done.

Your planning wall

Regardless of what kind of a planner you are, if you can see your plan and you reflect on it each day, you will do things. How do I know? This is something that I have implemented in many businesses when I worked as a marketing consultant. While some of the team members kick and scream to start with, eventually they can see that

  • they are part of a team
  • they can see the bigger picture
  • they can often solve other people’s problems
  • they know how to make the plan work
  • when something needs others resources understand how the business works and how sales come in or not.

Every day go to your planning wall and review for 15 minutes, get deeply connected. Then you can move stuff onto your weekly and/or daily planner. Make time daily to craft a to-do list. I like to see chunks of my projects in time slots and other things I have to do as a list. I play Focus@Will for 60 minutes and then take a break. That is usually a walk in the rambla with my furry companions. This gives me time to reflect and recharge. Then it’s back home top up my water and grab a cuppa and back to my next thing.

Tips for conscious planning and your inner planner

C – connection to your inner knowing

Know how you like to plan, your preferences and how to keep yourself motivated. Sort out your back up – your accountability buddy, one that knows you and will hold you and hold you accountable. At all times check in with your inner wisdom. If it doesn’t feel right, find out why and always make conscious decisions.

O – own your plan

If you don’t own it how can you execute it? It has to feel good and exciting, achievable and something you want to celebrate doing.

N – natural

Never force yourself to follow someone else’s planning methodology. Review how others do things and learn. Find your natural way. Look at things that could do with changing and work out how so that they too become natural to you.

S – senses

Keep your senses aware, awake and alive. Tap into your intuition and ask what is working and what isn’t. Your senses are designed to support you and your decision-making process and your ability to stay motivated and on track

C – cause

Find your purpose, a what, a why and a cause. There is something very special about adding something to your plan where you can give back.

I – intentions

Set your intention to carry out your plans. Remember plans are not set in concrete, they are fluid and can change in a thrice. Set your intention to go with the flow and to change as appropriate based on feedback.

O – observe

Always be a witness to what is happening to you as you execute your plan. Observe your feelings, your physiological state as you do things related to the plan. Notice what happens around you when you do things. Use observation as a feedback tool.

U – Universe

Put it out to the Universe. Create your plan, own it, place it in your heart and send its vibration out. Your energy and intentions need to reach the people that need what you offer the most. Notice what comes back and again use this as a feedback tool.

S – system and strategy

Create a system and startegy that works for you. Know you. Change what doesn’t work so that you create better habits. Know why your system and strategy works or doesn’t and tweak it. Systems and strategy only work, at least for me, when I know why they work. When I know why I do what I do, I can plan to ensure that I stick to it.

We haven’t talked about setting goals

No, I haven’t, and the reason is that I would like to invite you first to consider your planning style we will look at conscious goal setting another day.

Final thoughts

In corporate life, I would never have let a plan slip. My marketing plan was fundamental to how my team and I would support the sales team and the business in achieving our turnover and profit figures as well as aligning with corporate social responsibility. As a solepreneur, there is only me, and I have to wear many hats. I get overwhelmed and scared and want to run away. This is only natural. What I have learned is that without that big picture and my daily review I am lost. I use a Business Planner. What works for me is visuals, daily to do, journaling and regular reflection. I’m lucky in that I know me, warts and all, and I make myself do things because when I start I know I am going to enjoy it and I am working towards my goals and dreams. But also that I do not want to let myself down.

My accountability buddy/coach is fabulous, and I am in a support group and a mastermind. I need people to bounce off and hold me to account. Otherwise, I’d write all day interspersed with doggy walks and some cake baking. A girl needs cake for her planning review sessions.

I love to know how you plan, what works for you and what you have had to make yourself do to make your planning work.

PS: if you are planning to write a book, developing new products and services, setting strategy, leaving a job then planning and getting to know your inner planner is critical to your success

Memories make memoir and create inner freedom

Memories can be healing, revealing, scary, upsetting, fun and a whole lot of emotions in-between. Every experience creates a memory in the library of your soul. When you come to write a memoir and walk into that vast room, you may not know where or how to start. Personally, I think that when you start the journey into memoir the most important thing is that you allow. What I mean by that is you allow yourself to wander through the library and enjoy the process of connecting your memories with new eyes. Also allowing whatever needs to arise in the moment.

Often I am confronted with something that triggers a memory, it seems at first disconnected to the memoir, personal story, book or blog that I am writing. And then just like that, it starts to make sense. In that sense making process, I believe that we can create a sense of freedom.

Everything starts from within. Our beliefs about something seem so deeply ingrained, yet when we explore with new eyes and open our hearts to the message that lies beneath we start to liberate ourselves from self-imposed tyranny.

Now I am not saying you will be jumping for joy when you are reminded of events. You may be happy and equally, you may cry. The important thing is that you allow, acknowledge, accept and then take some small action.

Let me give you an example.

Last night I went to a party, nothing unusual in that, it was New Year’s Eve and a time when people like to get together and see in the New Year. Of course, some don’t, preferring the peace of a roaring fire and perhaps dinner and a film.

The music played, people danced, and the DJ opened her deck so that anyone could request a personal song.  There were some songs that I wanted to lose myself in, taking me back to a time when I too would have been on the floor dancing all night.

Two years ago I sustained an injury and stuff like dancing hurts and so to protect myself I don’t. But then a very curious thing happened.

Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs and Woolly Bully came on. And that was it.

Suddenly I was transported back in time to my parent’s parties. I wanted to dance. I asked a friend who wrinkled her nose at my suggestion, and then I was surprised by another friend who I’d thought wasn’t into dancing coming on to the empty dance floor with me. It was wonderful. I wasn’t at this party, I was back as a child twisting and laughing to the music.

When we sat down I told him the story of mum and dad’s parties and how this song made me feel. The conversation meandered into how I’d loved to dance and enjoyed the parties on the RAF camp where we lived. I explained how when the guys I’d danced with discovered who my dad was they freaked. I’d never really understood why. Dad was as far as we knew ‘just’ a fireman.

My tale veered off to a discovery I made last year. I had posted a picture of dad on Facebook. Someone privately messaged me about my dad being a rock ape. Firstly I had no idea what a rock ape was and secondly, I (or mum) hadn’t known he was in the RAF Regiment. When mum and I first discovered this we pondered about how little we had known about my dad. Who was this mysterious man who scared my potential suitors away and who might not have been just a fireman?

Dad RAF Regiment

This morning when out walking this all came flooding back, only now there were other connections popping up.

So let me explain.

Today I start to edit my book Rude Awakenings. It opens with my first awakening – discovering that my then husband was and had been for all of our relationship living a double life. How little I knew about who he really was.

The song last night triggered off thoughts of my childhood and the discovery that potentially my dad was not who he seemed either. My ex-husband was not who he seemed and in my journey which I share in my book, I was looking for the ‘real’ me.

I am reminded that when I edit I must look beneath the stories and memories that make this memoir and to let whatever arises. It seems to me as we enter a new year and full moon, that this is another call from my soul to release more.

You may think you are just writing a memoir, but in effect as you work on your book you are creating a pathway to inner freedom.

For you to ponder…

What is the core message of your memoir?

We always come back to the core message. A memoir is not just a story, there is a learning point or points in every chapter, which comes back to the core message.

In Rude Awakenings I am on a journey to self-love and self-discovery, this is my books core message. However, as a writing coach, the bigger message for me is to inspire you to have the courage to write your book.

Hidden Content

What do you still need to let go of?

When you think about your core message as you write and edit, what else can you learn about you? Are there any fragments that you still need to let go of?

No matter how you feel about your story right now, there will always be something that pops up to remind you to take note. What are those things? Your reader will probably experience stirrings of emotions as they read – what might they be? Our experiences may be similar but how we process them is often different and we each need to find our way. Just take a moment to consider how your reader will feel as they read your book?

Which way does freedom lie?

Writing has always been my saviour. When we step beyond the thinking mind and allow whatever needs to arise come forth then I believe we can find freedom.

Freedom comes from inside. When we allow ourselves to write without limitations, we are telling our souls that its ok for it all to be laid bare. In becoming a witness we can learn so much about who we are.

I say write for freedom and edit for your reader. What I mean is write the memories, flow through and with them. Take the time to explore and adventure with what comes up. When you come to edit, you will know what is for you and what is for your reader.

My invitation today is to ask you to reflect on yesterday. What conversations did you have, where do those thoughts take you? Use the full moon to let go of limitations around writing your memoir.

It’s a new year, a new chapter, and if you could give yourself the freedom to write your memoir, what would it be called?

Why you should use journaling and diet to support your wellbeing

As a long-term fan of journaling as a way to improve wellbeing, I was intrigued to read the BBC report that antidepressants have been proven to work in a trial of 116,477 people against a placebo. The report (which was published earlier in 2018) goes onto say that more people would benefit from taking the drugs.

I carried on reading with trepidation. What else would this report conclude I wondered?

At the beginning of this year, I was told that I had osteoporosis, I’ve become acutely aware of the drug pushers (natural and pharma) who peddle their wares to stop this disease. What has been heartbreaking for me is the utter confusion, overwhelm and despair I have seen in the forums. People are beyond hope. They have tried the drugs, and their bodies continue to fail. Not all bodies but enough to scare me. And that’s the point people are trying things, without an assessment and overall plan.

We need to find the root cause and journaling can support that.

In this case, I’ve read reports from some of the medical profession who do not like that people are taking matters into their own hands and are looking at more natural methods.

I keep reading that osteoporosis cannot be cured and this makes me angry because you are already setting people up for failure. We need hope, not despair at times like this.

This mentality goes across the board.

Don’t get me wrong I adore science, and the way that medicine has progressed is incredible. We are discovering amazing things every day, but are we creating a world of dependency on being fixed?

Antidepressants like the osteoporosis drugs have their place. I’ve taken Prozac, and it was a tough decision, but I felt as if I’d explored every avenue.

Depression, anxiety and smacks in the face can affect anyone.

Back in my late 40’s, I found myself in the doctor office complaining that despite the many miles I walked every day with my dog, I couldn’t breathe. He gave me space to pour out my worries.

In our discussion, we covered the past, who I was living with, what the relationship was like, work and my health.

For two years I’d struggled with sleep and had tried everything I could think of – you name it, I’d tried it. I handed over a long list of things, he laughed and then more solemnly said, it is no wonder you have anxiety given the life experiences you have had. He handed me a prescription for antidepressants, and I felt a failure.

Not long after, I began to sleep, and I felt less wound up. Inside I felt shame that I had given in. Then through journaling, it became clear that a) I wasn’t a failure and b) this was an opportunity to get on track and c) I needed a strategy for using them and an exit strategy.

Journaling has the power to change lives

It felt as is my journal had a new lease of life. Journaling has been in my life for as long as I can remember. It has saved my life on many occasions, and I saw this as something that needed urgent and special attention.

In my journaling, I became acutely aware of what I was eating and how that was making me feel. I’d started monitoring the anti-depressants and noticed a switch to focus on my heart, soul, body and diet.

Journaling helped me to change my diet

Antidepressants made me feel foolish, but they kicked me into action. I enrolled in a naturopathic nutrition course and made big changes. At this time I was a BIG action taker, but not a right action taker. I took everything out of my diet, lost masses of weight – far too much, and that was not clever. However, as I took the course and learned a new way to eat, I amended my diet, and I started to feel good. Life suddenly felt brighter, and I was getting good quality sleep.

What was also apparent was that I didn’t love me and I couldn’t look in the mirror. It would be in my mid 50’s when I learned to love me and when journaling and writing a book supported me in finding myself and that long overdue self-love.

Journaling helped me to see that I was wound up

The more that I explored myself, diet and life, I could see how I had become so wound up, and the relationship I was in was not supporting me. But I felt trapped, so I stayed. To support me I worked with a cranial osteopath, and she helped me to unwind my system. As she treated me, my writing flowed and so did my body. After a while, I was able to start the planned exit strategy.

All was well until…

Sometime later, we moved in my husband’s almost 90-year old mother who had dementia. It was hard living with a bully and a woman who hated me. I reached for the anti-depressants again. I couldn’t cope, he couldn’t care less, and I wanted to be coshed. I hated my life.

One Christmas we took his mum to Spain, or I should say I got the job of taking an old woman with dementia and poor toilet habits in a wheelchair on an aeroplane.  I coped because that’s what I do. To make matters worse, my house was not suitable for her. I wanted to kill myself. I figured I was already dead inside and who would care.

One night I knew it was the end, I Googled how to kill yourself painlessly. That scared me. Instead, I found myself staring at a journal and I wrote as if my life depended on it. Sense prevailed. I still felt hollow, but now I could see a bit more clearly.

After her death, I weaned myself off and tried to get back to some normality.

Something came out of the writing; it was like I was divinely nudged. I headed to the doctors to discover that all along the reason I wasn’t sleeping was that I’d had an overactive thyroid and through dietary changes, I had resolved it.

Thank you diet and journaling.

Looking back through the journals I could see how I’d become controlled and how unknown, unresolved health and lifestyle issues had eroded my ability to fully function.

Fast forward to today and how journaling and diet has supported my growth

I left the husband a few years ago now. Life has been quite tough on my own, but with each challenge, I’ve used two primary tools, lifestyle changes and journaling.

In 2016 I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid again. I’d taken my eye off the ball, but due to my good diet, I wasn’t feeling the effects. I’d just got a message through my journaling to get a well woman check up – so I obeyed the great pen.

When osteoporosis stuck so did mental health issues

When in 2018 I suffered compression fractures (and a lot of pain) which led to a discovery of osteoporosis I leant into my journal and reached out for help. I’ve changed my diet and lifestyle again, and yes you guessed it, I have a dedicated journal for this journey. This is the subject of my next book – Healing Osteoporosis Naturally.

The root cause of my osteoporosis it transpired was bizarre. A trauma to the ribs kicked off a shingles attack. This raised prolactin which lowered dopamine, estrogen and serotonin. No motivation and thrown into the depths of despair is how I would describe where I found myself. Journaling once again saved my life.

Journaling can help you to make conscious decisions

I won’t be reaching for antidepressants and believe you me; I feel angry that I have this. I could use drugs to take away these feelings, but I know that although they are great for temporary support (other peoples may experience vary), I can deal with this through diet, meditation, exercise and journaling. I believe that I have the power to create personal change. I love myself enough to make the requisite changes, however tough they may be.

I also feel angry that I am being pushed through the sausage factory approach to osteoporosis. But I will not be driven by medical research that while amazing I believe does not wholly serve me right now. The statistics and methodologies are not always based in reality and wholeness.

The BBC report goes on to show that there is compelling evidence. Every drug has persuasive proof until it is withdrawn because it causes more deaths or illnesses, doesn’t it? Or is that me being cynical?

This compelling evidence means that doctors can prescribe the right drug because at least 1million other people could benefit.  Ka-ching! You do the numbers. Or is that me being cynical again?

Of course, they conclude anti-depressants shouldn’t be the first form of treatment; they should consider other psychological therapies.

We are missing the point, aren’t we?

We are not just our minds, we are bodies and souls and couldn’t a more holistic approach be considered? One that combines science with natural methods?

Diet, lifestyle, exercise, meditation, visualisation, asking for help, learning to love yourself and understanding how you got to this point so that you can move through it with things like journaling. These are what I consider to be a better way – a harder way, possibly, but in the longer term a way that works for me.

Of course, we want to be fixed. I want my spine to be mended. However, I want to do it in the way described above, and I am willing with every fibre of my body to do it. Yes, I am taking supplements, alongside dietary changes under advisement from a naturopathic nutritionist. I know that these too are drugs in the wrong hands, but I will not take prescription drugs unless I have explored every other avenue and they are my last hope.

I am not against anti-depressants or any other drug, but what I’d like to see, as I have said is a holistic approach, so that they are used as a temporary intervention. I know it’s hard to change diet and lifestyle. However, it can be exciting as you explore new ways of being.

I am constantly exploring new recipes; yesterday I made a healthy banana bread using only things I can eat. I even caught my dogs liking the bowl behind my back and later when I was sampling it one of them nicked a piece. Along with the bread, I also made a delicious lentil shepherds pie thing accompanied by masses of green stuff. Trying out new green juices is exciting – do not have celery on its own – ug! It is delightful to come through the detox stage and start to feel human, for the pain to naturally subside as you deal with inflammation naturally and not with anti-inflammatory drugs.

The body is incredible, and it can heal – if you support it and believe that it can.

Journaling can help you find yourself and help you to inspire others

I started a new journal as soon as this latest thing happened. Why? I knew that I was in for an adventure and that I would discover more about me. I knew that what I learned as I went along would help others. This is what you can do. Use your journaling to find you, get clarity and use it to store your feelings, action and wisdom.

Your story could help save someone else’s life. Think about that. Imagine what it would be like to inspire someone else to embrace change?

You may not feel like it now. You may be at your wits end; you may want to reach for whatever drug is available. It doesn’t matter what you do. Do what is right for you at this moment. But please consider some of what I have said and while you go through these experiences write, capture everything and use it to help others. Use journaling to find you and to get some clarity so that you can work with the professionals that you choose to make good choices.

Journaling and writing is a journey with your soul; writing can help you to heal.  Everyone who writes at some level moves on. Your pen has a deep connection with you and if you allow the words to flow you will discover alchemy.

Writing in a journal can help you to escape and face this passage into a new life and the next part of your soul’s journey.

Start today, get a journal, get lots of journals and put them beside your bed. Journal when you go to bed and when you wake up. You don’t have to write reams, just let it come as it wants to.

Let me leave you with some final thoughts. We are in this together; please look around you, one of your friends could be where I was. You might be there now. Please reach out, lend an ear and give them the gift of a journal.

If you have a story that you need to tell and a book you want to write, please do connect with me and lets chat.

Resources

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/feb/21/the-drugs-do-work-antidepressants-are-effective-study-shows
http://www.bbc.com/news/health-43143889
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jbmr.2888/full

Writing to heal – Where is my now?

Stop for a moment and ask where is my now? Writing to heal starts with a reflection of where you are now, not where you have been, although we will get to that.

Pause.

The birds are singing, Ferdy dog is by my side, the girls are outside, my computer whirrs, my head feels fuzzy and my spine aches.

This isn’t where I am, or at least it is physically, it’s not where I am emotionally or spiritually. This is the dot that I exist in the vast Universe without connection to anything.

Close your eyes. Where are you now?

You can probably still hear sounds. What if you were to extend your listening further? I am 40 minutes from the motorway, I can’t hear it, yet I can – in my imagination.

It’s dark isn’t when you close your eyes? Dark and strangely peaceful, as if nothing else exists.

Do you find your mind wandering or perhaps you are travelling around your body, enquiring about your aches and pains? Perhaps what calls you for your day ahead? Or maybe the things that have been causing you consternation are zigzagging through the inner peace that you desire?

When we start a writing to heal journey, this is to my mind one of the simplest and most powerful questions – where is my now?

My now is days of pain both emotional and physical as I work to heal my body. I cry often, but not for long as a curious doggy nuzzles me and demands a biscuit or a walk and then my mood changes and their needs surpass mine. My body is healing, it is getting stronger, I can feel it and I just know.

In January 2018 my spine fractured. When I think of my now, I realise my life fractured. The foundation of me shattered. That isn’t as dramatic as it sounds, it’s not like I am jelly on the floor and have to slither to my nearest dark chocolate bar. More of a questioning about every part of who I am and how I got here.

I’m a researcher, a questioner and often an annoying git because I want to know how things work. If this happens, then what happens next and why would that happen if you did this?

Currently, I am writing a book You, me and osteoporosis and as I start to write what I think is a simple chapter, I invariably end up with more enquiries than answers. Luckily, through my writing to heal experiences I have learned to ask, write and then reflect.

I know that once I ‘put it out there’ the answers will come. Everything will fall into place and make sense.

And if it doesn’t, well does it really matter in the scheme of things? The answer to that is – it depends…

Hidden Content

Writing to heal – Where is my now?

Everyone’s perception of time is different. Use this exercise to put your journaling and writing into a timeframe and into context, so that when you reflect you are able to consider more clearly how events that surround your life are affecting you and how things fit together.

Your now will have been triggered by an event, this may be an event that happened a year, a month, a week, a day, or even just an hour ago.

I find it best to get comfortable, relax and to let my mind wander (connect to your muse) as I ask each question. It may be that you need to run through the list of questions, then go and do something else and come back to write and reflect.

Your now questions part #1

  • What images, sounds, feelings, come to mind as you start this exercise?
  • Ask yourself the question, where am I now in my life?
  • When did my now start?
  • What was the trigger?
  • What has been happening in my now?
  • What are the main characteristics of my now?
  • What projects are you working on? Write down what they are, how they fit into your life and what contribution they make to who you are and where you are going.
  • What is making you happy or sad at this time?
  • How does each day start and end?

Your now questions part #2

  • Who are you having relationships with? Write down the names and what they mean to you.
  • How are your emotions now and as your day progresses? What do you notice about them?
  • What frustrations or tensions are you feeling? Where are you feeling them?
  • How are your health and wellbeing? Focus on your body and make a note of what you notice.
  • What exercise or me time are you having?
  • What is your diet like? Are you eating sensibly, or eating rubbish, are there any cravings?
  • What are your finances like and how are you managing your money?
  • What are you reading/learning that is contributing to your personal growth?
  • What play or creativity are you engaging in?
  • Where are you planning to travel to or explore (in whatever way exploration speaks to you)?
  • What are you doing to contribute to your spiritual wealth? Are you listening to spirit?
  • What contribution are you making to your community?

Your now questions part #3

  • What is my relationship with me like?
  • How much do I love me? Describe that love.
  • What does your soul want you to know about your now?
  • What are your three words for the month ahead?

Write quickly, briefly, and write unconsciously. Leave this for a few days and come back to reflect. What do you learn in this writing to heal journey?

Exploring who you are with words is my gift. No matter where you are or what is going on, having a sounding board can support you and your wellbeing. Writing is healing, it brings clarity and purpose. You may start journaling, end up writing a book and changing the world – how cool is that? Please connect with me, chatting costs nothing and it could bring a smile to your face.

Write your way out of a rut and into action

I feel that I am in a rut. It’s not a well-worn groove and I’m certainly not in the groove, or at least it doesn’t feel that way. I feel tired, weary to my bones and I know that to get out of my rut I need to write.

It is deeper than that. This rut is a line in the sand, something has to change and the only person who can do this is me and the time to do it is now.

Last Friday evening the choice on TV was Sport Relief or Football. Neither stirred me and instead I subscribed to Netflix. It occurred to me that in the past I had gorged myself on Battlestar Galactica, Breaking Bad and indeed one period of my life was highlighted with Soprano Sundays. When I wondered had I lost this urge to indulge in the life of a TV box set? To allow me the pleasure of doing nothing.

I chose Cable Girls (Las Chicas Del Cable), a Spanish series full of love and betrayal. That was it, once I’d watched one I wanted more and given that I didn’t have a diary full of dates, dancing and bands, I indulged.

12.30 and moving into the early hours of Sunday and I decided it was time for bed. I’d seen enough for one day. My emotions caught me unawares and I burst into tears. Looking at the ceiling, for where else do you find God, The Universe, Spirit or some Higher Power, I cried out ‘I’ve had enough, I have had a shit life and it ends here.’

The following morning I realised that I was well and truly in a rut, a downward spiral of sadness as I tried to process my life.

Earlier in the week, I’d been journaling and from the depths of my soul, she whispered trust and betrayal. Just when you think this is it, I’ve sorted my stuff out, something else comes up. What next I ask with a smile? Why do they leave the darkest tar to last? Is the hardest stuff left towards the end so that you have more resources to deal with it?

The program was a reminder of how destructive trust and betrayal can be and this sadness didn’t leave me all weekend. Especially as after I’d gorged myself on one box series I found Reign which went on to cover the same issues love and betrayal but in an altogether different setting.

My rut has set in because I am a little immobilised by spinal fractures and pain. I have to heal and healing takes time and I admit to being a tad impatient. Dealing daily with pain is no fun. Yet I do not wallow in it. As I lie in bed I do exercises, when I get up I do exercises and I keep moving so that my body doesn’t grind to a halt.

My diet is of utmost importance, but I am tired of eating well, sick of green at every meal and I want to break free. Only I can do that. Only I have the power and the gumption to change what I eat and more importantly my life.

Patience they say is a virtue. Well, right now you can shove virtue where the sun doesn’t shine. I’ve had enough of waiting. Yet even as I write that, I know and I am smiling that I need this virtue to heal. It would be foolhardy to trek into the hills and risk a fall.

Risk a fall. It seems that all I have ever done is fall, but falling and fracturing again in this healing phase is not a clever move and so I look instead for reduced risk options, that still give me some semblance of normality. Normality within four walls is so hard for a person like me. This is a tough lesson. The truth is I don’t have four walls, my house is full of quirky rooms and I can move from space to space as I need. But still, I am caught in a brick box that does not seem ready to release me just yet.

Over the weekend I realised that I hadn’t written any words for my book. Instead, I journaled as I usually do. I needed to capture the essence of this breakthrough.

It is a breakthrough despite the tears and screaming at empty emotionless ceilings. In the silence, I was greeted with the stark reality that there is only one person to get me out of my rut and that is me.

Nobody is going to reach in and pull me out, because they are all in the rut that is their life.

It struck me that I needed to get back to work on my book and a course and I had to make myself. Ruts don’t divert unless we are prepared to get out of the safety of pain and trudge through the uneven ground to create a groove elsewhere.

You can get out of a rut with writing

Go and get your journal and pen, find a comfy space and write RUT in big letters in the middle of the page. The ask yourself these questions:-

  • Why am I in a rut?
  • How did I get into this rut?
  • What does my rut look like – bring in all of your senses?
  • Why do I like being in this rut?
  • What don’t I like about my rut?
  • How will I get out of this rut?
  • What if my rut didn’t exist?
  • What needs to happen to re-route the rut?
  • How does it feel to leave it behind?
  • How does it feel and what does it look like in my new groove?

Now pick an action and go and do it.

I’m off to my office to outline two chapters of my book (Osteoporosis and Me) and to write one. After which I shall start to outline a course – Write your life story – turn memories into memoir (avail May 2018).

The heavy driving winds from the last few days have dropped and I shall be out walking again this week. It’s been hard to walk with pain, but it feels time.

How to use the language of more to change limiting self-belief

A few days ago I wrote in my diary how fed up I was and started to question my lack of self-trust and self-belief. Could I turn this around? Could I reverse osteoporosis naturally? Me? The trust issues go much deeper than can I trust my body to heal, this goes back through generations.

Trust keeps popping up to bite me on the bum and whatever your issue is will do the same for you, unless you deal with it. But how?

Identify something that is knocking your self-belief

The first step is to identify what it is. It may be many things, or it could be one. Choose the priority. How will you know it is a priority? Well, it will come as no surprise to you that I will suggest you journal. Play with words until one bites.

When I played with my words this morning the word was once again TRUST. What fascinates me is that right now while I ‘trust’ my body to heal the spinal fractures, my dog is surrendering to healing his broken leg. He doesn’t know he can’t heal; he just trusts that I will look after him and love him and all will be well.

The last few days have seen me cry a lot. I’ve felt tense and frustrated. You would wouldn’t you, if you thought that you couldn’t support a sick animal because of your injuries and pain?

But here is the thing. I watched him this morning as we went for a little walk and already he is tentatively putting his paw on the ground. When I saw that I was inspired by how he trusted that it would be ok. Plus he trusts me to look after him to enable that to happen.

This is what I wrote in my diary. I am not going to write reams about how I arrived at this, but know it’s been a lifetime of not setting boundaries among other things.

Trust. I don’t trust men to support me without an agenda. I think that it’s not just men and before I set boundaries around other people, it was not trusting people to respect me and allowing them to devalue me. Also, with all of the physical pain, I am trying hard to trust my body to heal.

Specify the opposite of your not so good self-belief by using positive language

Every day since this journey has started I have been writing positive affirmations in my journal. Not once have I used don’t, less or not. What do I mean by this? I could have written that I am frightened and the opposite is I am not frightened, rather than I am courageous. I feel full of fear and might have written I am fearless. It means the same.

Have a play with the self-belief that you think are holding you back and write the opposite using better more productive language. Pick one to work on and repeat to yourself like a mantra for the day.

I trust that my body knows how to heal and has all of the resources it needs

I trust others to support me without an agenda

I trust that I will always be surrounded by loving and supportive people

I trust that I will always have all the resources I need for life

I have lots of support from family and friends, and it has amazed me how I am surrounded by such love. All I had to do was ask. 🙂

Look at your new self-belief as if this were already true

We know the power of visualisation and stating things in the now. What you now need to do is create a new self-belief as if it were already true. Again watching your language and not use words like in the future or I am going to.

In my new version of life, being surrounded by only those people for whom we had mutual love and respect. I am in a loving fun relationship with a partner. The only connections I have are with those that feed my soul and I theirs.

My body is strong and healthy. It supports me and will continue to do so until my time is done. I have lots of energy, and I know when to take time out to refresh my soul.

I am working with courageous people who have an inspiring message for the world.

Clarify what this means to you, others and your world

Take a few moments to think what it would mean to you and for others when this is true.

For me: I am more at peace with myself. Great health means that I enjoy life and have the energy to do things that are meaningful to me. It means that I know that I have all of the tools and resources to be able to achieve anything.

For others: It brings us closer together. I can show how anything is possible. I allow other space and give them support for doing it their way. I can receive, and I am open to their love which means that they feel appreciated.

For the world: It shows what is possible. It inspires others to know that they can also overcome anything.

And finally, I wrote.

My gift is to inspire others to take control, find themselves and to have the courage to share their story so that they can inspire others.

The language of more is exciting because we tend to use the same kinds of words and phrases and not noticing what they are saying to us. This is where journaling can support you. Once you see it in black and white, it is so apparent. Go to your journal and highlight the language you want to change.

This takes my journaling further because it all comes back to your core message and to do that we have to move into our source of wisdom and love. We have to open up the spaces that hurt and allow healing to begin.

I hope that this inspires you to take a closer look at what is niggling you and that you find the courage to spill the beans into your journal. It won’t tell anyone, and this learning may lead you to write a book about your experiences.

Go on a writers retreat and kick-start your book

One of my fondest memories is going on a fiction writers retreat. So much so it encouraged me to start running writers retreats and up until recently, I ran these in Spain every year. That is until life got in the way. However, as luck would have it, a good friend of my and client who wrote Breathe Better, Sleep Better was chatting to me about her Ayurveda Sleep Retreat.

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Although my sleep is under control, there was a time when it wasn’t and this was because of an undiagnosed overactive thyroid. Which I did sort out. But after having so many years of insomnia I know what it’s like to be menopausal, not sleeping and a complete wreck. When I first spoke with Anandi about her retreat, my prime objective was to find out what she would be doing and if I could use her learning to help me heal osteoporosis, rather than sleep.

Anandi is an Auyerveda specialist and we chatted about ‘types’ and how this retreat could help me to understand myself better, from another perspective. And as is my way, my desire to go on retreat grew.

When I told her that I had planned a writers retreat in Spain, but was concerned with all of the planning and how little energy I currently had, she suggested that I gatecrash hers and invite writers to come and work with me and gain the benefits of her wisdom too.

This means that in the morning we all get to enjoy yoga and connecting with ourselves and in the afternoon you write.

There are many reasons to go on a writers retreat, not least that you get time away from your everyday life and get some peace and head space to get your thoughts down.

You could end up writing over 10,000 words (or more) if you focused.

Back in normal life, just thinking about writing a book, when there’s a job to be done, kids to feed, a partner to please, a car to wash, shopping, cleaning, cooking and whatever else you cram into your day to day life, brings many out in a cold sweat.

I often hear potential authors say if only I could take myself away from it all then I could…

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done. Steven Wright

I get it. When I was living with someone (ok I admit it, I had an annoying husband…)  it was almost impossible to write. There were constant interruptions and I watched my precious writing time disappear into the ether.

The best time I ever had during this stressful part of my life was a week away on a writers retreat, where I was shut off from the world with 15 other potential fiction writers. All I had to concentrate on was writing and the odd cooking session (when it was my turn). I felt like a writer, I lived like a writer, I was a writer and I wrote. It was amazing.

It’s this experience (and better) that we can create on this Ayurveda and Writers Retreat in Tuscany. Have a think about these reasons and then make that all important decision to get away and get writing. Once you have kickstarted your book there is no turning back.

Reasons to come to a writers retreat

Writers retreat. GET AWAY, GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF TIME TO WRITE

  • To find inspiration for your book
  • To turn your ideas into something worth publishing
  • To pull something you are writing into shape
  • To find out how to plan, write, publish and market your book & yourself
  • Find time and space to write (this is my favourite)
  • Share your ideas with like-minded people
  • Get away from your annoying people who don’t get your desire to write…

If you want to get a book kick-started, there is no better way, than getting away. It doesn’t have to be a retreat (I am of course biased), but it does need to be a place where you can work in your way, to achieve your writing outcomes.

You could create your own writers retreat, if getting away is impossible

  • The garden shed – with a big padlock
  • The beach or another quiet location
  • Cafe
  • A hotel
  • Rent an apartment
  • A shepherds hut (chat to Lottie Moore who owns one)

Whichever option you choose, what is important is that you make the time to write and be a writer. Finding your space will enable you to find your flow and your next 10,000 words or more.

Journaling, blogs, books, healing and marketing

What a combination of things to think about, but for me, journaling, writing blogs and books all lead to healing in some way. And when you have a book to market you need to think about how to get it known.

Words are powerful. The words we say to ourselves get interpreted by our bodies and depending on what kind of words you use, you could be healing and harming yourself.

When I was first diagnosed with osteoporosis, the first thing I did was open a brand new journal. A short while later I started another one. One was for the journey, and one is a gratitude journal. The osteoporosis journal was to try and make sense of everything, which included my body, feelings, mindset and things that needed researching. And the other was because I found myself in a low place where nothing made sense, and I wanted to remind myself about the beauty of the world.

The blog for natural osteoporosis awareness was so that I could share my learning and wisdom and in some way help others. This gives me purpose and meaning, which are so important for healing. I didn’t want to write a blog, but it helped me to write my book and create awareness (marketing) in preparation for the launch in October.

I started the book with an idea, my story and a process – a way to create a unique healing plan for your life and for osteoporosis (a chronic dis-ease). Once it was outlined and a few chapters written, I took time out for marketing. This meant:

Then when this was settled, I was back to writing my book.

Each of these stages has given me clarity, purpose and healing. Can you see why I do what I do? This is what you do too.

Think about what it is you have come to Earth to share or teach. Each and every one of you reading this will get some clarity somewhere about what you are doing and the path you are on.

You may be journaling or resisting it, thinking about a book and not sure how to write it or market it. Where ever you are think about these things:-

  • What am I here to do? – Mission
  • What is my vision?
  • What is my core message?

When you know what your mission, vision and core message are, you can create a strategy (the steps to get you to where you want (and need) to go.

Start by buying a journal, get connected to your heart and write. Who knows where your heartfelt words will take you?

Here is a video about starting to journal as a reminder to embrace the power of journaling.

Have a wonderful day.

I have two groups on Facebook that are free – Writing for the soul and Natural Osteoporosis Awareness. Come and join me.

Kay Sanders new book Messages of Inspiration

I met Kay about a year ago and we hit it off immedietly. Kay always inspires me and when she told me it was time for her to write a new book I imagined that we would see it in about six months. Little did I realise that in just 45 days Kay would get her book Messages of Inspiration written and be ready to launch in such a short space of time. Kay is truly an inspiration.

Here is a recording of our recent interview

What inspired you to write this book?

The idea for this book came to me while I was meditating back in December. During my meditation, I received this massive download and divine guidance to write a book filled with 365 inspirational messages from the Universe to bring inspiration and motivation to the world. Initially, I had no idea how I should come up with 365 powerful quotes but by consulting in my Akashic Records, the beings of the light helped me through guidance to get these messages on paper. I felt so very touched that I was gifted this mission to bring these messages to the world to inspire people that anything is truly possible and that no matter how difficult your life may seem, you can do, be and have anything your heart desires and these messages bring a deeper meaning to the readers to help them stay in awe of what is truly possible for them.

What is the title of your latest book?

Messages of Inspiration – 365 Days of Inspiration and Motivation – you can grab a copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C292JK4  / https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07C292JK4

How did you come up with the title?

The beings of the light told me the name

What is it about?

Messages of Inspiration is an inspirational and motivational book that is meant to inspire its readers that anything is possible for them and that no matter how difficult their life or circumstances might seem, there is always light at the end of the tunnel and always infinite possibilities available to create more joy, happiness and success in one’s life.

How did you come up with the idea?

I received the divine guidance to write this book

Who would you love to read it – what kind of people and why?

Conscious people who have the deep desire for more joy, happiness and success in their life. Who have been searching for answers, who want to be, do and have so much more and who know that life has so much more to offer but they simply have not figured out how to close the gap from where they are right now to manifest what their heart desires and creating a life full of abundance.

What were (or are) the challenges in bringing it to life?

Initially, I did not think I would be able to write 365 quotes and I figured it would take me quite a while to finish this book but with the help of the beings of the light and my record keepers, they helped me write these 365 quotes in as little as 45 days.

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your this book?

Not one thing. I was following divine guidance it is perfect in just the way it is.

What was the best part of bringing your book to life?

Being gifted this huge purpose to bring these messages from the Universe to live and how fast it all came about. Now the best part is that it has already been making major head waves even though it has not even been released yet. Many have been eager to sign up for the accompanying email series and just the amazing comments and testimonials I have received so far warms my heart and I know it will touch so very many hearts and impact their lives.

What did you learn from writing your book?

That if you trust in your own abilities and just allow your inner guidance to take over, you can create something so beautiful that is going to change lives.

What advice do you have for other writers?

Don’t wait to write the story that you hold within you. Writing a book is not as difficult as it may seem and there are many who are just waiting to hear your story. If you think your story is not important enough to be shared, let me assure you it is, and even if your story only impacts one single person that is one person you were able to help and make a difference in their life.

What is your inspirational message for the world?

We often forget that we are infinite beings, who can do, be and have anything our heart desires but we often get derailed by our negative and limiting thoughts, the illusions we live by that keeps us playing small because we fear change, we fear failure, or we simply don’t think more is in store for us.

If you have had this longing to be, do and have more then don’t wait! Don’t be that person who envy’s others for all that they have, for the great lifestyle they live, for the amazing success they experience, for the joy and happiness they radiate. You too can create this lifestyle for yourself; believe that anything is possible, that you too can have all that your heart desires. Abundance, joy, happiness and great success is not something that is reserved for others; you too can create all the abundance, all the joy, all the happiness and all the success your heart desires.

Be the person who does not let their situation or circumstance determine their life. You can choose to say no to all the struggles, say no to the challenges you may be experiencing and say YES to abundance, say YES to Joy, Happiness and immense Success in your life.

What else have you done with your book? (e.g. Turned it into a course/Retreat/Speaking)

It is also available in a daily email series which also includes an action step to take to get the most out of the messages. Soon it will become available as a workbook, I will use it for speaking and I am thinking about turning it into a retreat as well

What opportunities has your book created for you?

So far I have received many opportunities to speak on different podcasts and radio shows, I may be sponsored by the local ballpark for a book signing and I am sure a lot more opportunities will come from it

Share a quote from your book

quote from Kay Sanders

 

Your message is meant to be heard, do not hide your gifts, your message, or yourself behind the illusion that your message is not worth sharing.

What books have influenced your life the most?

Wayne Dyer’s book Excuses Be Gone and Believe it before you see it.  Lisa Barnett’s book on the Akashic Records and many many others

Thinking back to books of your childhood, what were your favourite books and why?

I was an addict to the romance novels of the old times

What book(s) are you reading now?

A lot of spiritually based books, personal development books and some business building books but mainly the spiritual books have caught my interest

What do you do for fun?

That is a very good question, I tend to work a lot but during my downtime. I love to meditate, read, be out in nature, and just BE

Meet Kay Sanders

Kay Sanders new book Messages of InspirationKay Sanders, known as the Creator of Possibilities is an Intuitive Business Coach, Certified Akashic Record Consultant, and Bestselling Author.

Kay helps conscious entrepreneurs find that missing piece to create momentum in their Business and re-ignite their Manifesting Mojo so they can make a difference in the world, create more freedom in their life and tap into the magic and power of manifesting their heart’s desire.

Where can we find out more about you?

https://www.kaysanders.com/

http://www.messagesofinspiration.com

https://www.facebook.com/kaysanders80

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theconsciousentrepreneurlounge/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaysanders80/

Press for progress. I am not a number. I am not osteoporosis

Today is International Women’s Day. A day to join with your sisters to celebrate how far we have come and what we have achieved. A day to consider our values and the impact we want to make in the world. My call is for more awareness for natural treatments for osteoporosis.

What and how do your values enable you to create an impact? What does that impact look like?

Your voice carries a lot of power and so today, and every day it is essential to share your inspirational message, in some way.

In some countries, International Women’s Day is about women in the working world, mainly corporate and often around leadership issues, equality and diversity and in others countries, it is a celebration of women.

It’s 2018, and by now, you would think that we wouldn’t need to keep reminding the world that women need to be heard. That every one of us needs our voice to be heard, no matter where. However, we do and International Women’s Day is an excellent time to grab your journal and reflect. What does it mean to be a woman in 2018? What does it mean to have your voice heard?

What I like is that every year, this is a day to celebrate how much has been achieved by women for women. It is also a day to remind everyone to keep up the pressure. This year’s International Women’s Day message is #pressforprogress.

What does press for progress mean to you? Where would you like to see progress?

Women want equality, diversity, respect and for our voices and message to be heard. All around the world, we want our sisters (and brothers) to live well. We desire and demand to live in a world where everyone regardless of many discriminating factors lives in love, peace and harmony. I may not see that in my lifetime, but none the less, I want with all of my heart for every living being and Mother Earth to be respected, loved and cared for. I am sure you do too?

Regardless of this one day, there are many things we can do for each other, but before we do that we need to respect other peoples personal choices

I am not a number. I am not osteoporosis

We know that to be the change we want to see in the world is often easier said than done. Life is rarely easy, and if and when we are diagnosed with something, we end up being a number or a statistic, and we get labelled.

Right at this moment, I’d like to press for progress in the way that we are treated and heard in our doctor’s surgeries. Recently my spine fractured. If this has ever happened, you will know that this is painful. Not only that it probably heralds the start of a journey that you were not expecting – the discovery of osteoporosis.

I am not a number I am not osteoporosis

Until this happened to me, I had an understanding of it, but what I didn’t appreciate was how set in their ways some doctors are. I wanted six months to try a natural naturopathic approach. So that my doctor would understand I prepared two documents, which she ignored as she swiftly wrote out my prescription for drugs.

I hasten to add that my doctor is a charming woman, who has expressed her desire to provide natural remedies where she can. For example, because she tells me I also have arthritis, she suggests a supplement which is not a pharmaceutical drug. However, she questions how I eat and has not been trained in nutrition, so how could she understand that natural works.

What I desire is for my voice to be heard and to be supported. However, we shall work together so that I can get the best that science has to offer, which I implement the best that nature has to offer.

Back in 2016, I turned around an overactive thyroid with a natural approach. To this day it is still normal. I know that a natural approach works.

Then and now my decision is to do whatever I can to do to heal without the drugs but utilising medical services, such as blood tests and bone density tests. The problem is I do not yet fully understand if bone density tests actually show me anything valuable. The debate is open as to whether these show anything to support a natural approach.

Currently, I am in the camp that says I would like to be able to measure something so that I can see how I am progressing. Tests are one way. Other ways include how my body feels, my ability to move, the condition of my spine (it is currently curved), energy levels, ability to exercise, the level of pain, the efficiency of my digestive system (this has to work for the nutrition to work)

However, why should I have to work within a system that seems to me to be brainwashed and not open to other approaches?

It’s a little like the cannabis debate. A drug which has shown tremendous efficacy in many treatments, which however is classed as dangerous. Smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, eating rubbish food are all fatal and create many problems within our society. Yet they are all legal. It doesn’t make sense to me.

We live in a society that pushes svelte slim models. It’s not all about weight loss, what about focusing on gaining great health?

We need to start looking at each of us as a whole person and not made up of parts that don’t work. Let’s work on getting the fundamentals right and then like a domino the rest of the systems will work more efficiently.

Am I against drugs in the treatment of osteoporosis?

This is interesting. No, I am not. However, I am against them being used as the first approach. I absolutely respect anyone who wants to take them. We have to make the right choice for us.  And the natural path is not easy until it becomes a part of who you are. People will always comment on what you can or can’t eat and how you live your life.

In her early 70’s my mum discovered five fractures in her spine. We went into action and got books on natural approaches and mum looked at the drug options. She tried many things until her doctor prescribed a drug called Proteus. After five years her bone density (my mum and her doctor’s measure of success) showed an improvement. She was delighted. But after five years she couldn’t have the drug anymore and was given something else which has left her feeling many months later very unwell. She wishes that she had never agreed to this one. But it is too late. It is an annual injection, and it is now in her body.

My mum, however, has also changed her diet. As a mother, she feels guilty that I have this thing, but she also supports and honours my decisions about how I will treat it. This is not her fault. No one is to blame. This is as a result of life. I have this wake-up call because there are imbalances in my body and soul. Imbalances that I believe that drugs at this point cannot rebalance.

If after six months the way that I do it does not work, I’ll explore my options again.

Ok. I’ll get off my soapbox, but I will not give up my right to a healthy drug-free life.

What do I want for osteoporosis?

  • I want doctors to understand better the role that nutrition and lifestyle plays
  • To work in conjunction with both a nutritionist and a coach. Changing to a naturopathic natural diet requires a mindset change
  • I’d like natural to be the first approach where relevant and possible
  • Women to be given routine blood tests as they approach menopause
  • Women to undertake a routine risk assessment which looks at them as a whole being and not just in parts
  • For anyone with contributory factors such as in my case an overactive thyroid to be sent for a bone density test – as this is the only test we have available – we can only currently use this as a measure
  • For bone density tests to be given again after the first six months to check if the natural approach is working
  • For other blood tests to be available – you can see a comprehensive list here. Again if we have a baseline, we can measure what is happening, rather than leaving it to chance
  • For women who are offered drugs, to be tested as above and for intolerances so that they are given the right drug and nutritional support
  • Specialist exercise programs to be offered. It seems pointless to me to tell people to swim and do weight training unless they know how to create a program that will support their injuries

Before I close, osteoporosis is a threat for men too. It is a threat for young people. We all need better educating. We must not exclude anyone.

And finally, although I will probably think of many more things to add, for this to be taught alongside natural fertility planning and nutrition in schools.

I’m working on my book Osteoporosis and Me. You can register to find out about when it is ready. Alongside the book, I will be making available other things that I learn.

I’d like to leave you with this. This is not a disease or a disorder; this means that your body is not at ease and is not in harmony. You are a whole human, and there is never one thing that causes imbalance, it is as a result of many things. What I do to solve my problems may not be what you do – this is because we are all individuals and have to look at ourselves to find root causes and work to rectify them in a way that is right for us. I cannot offer you advice, but I can tell you what I do.

Please share this post and the memes so that we can work together to create change.

I am not a number I am not osteoporosisI am not a number I am not osteoporosis

I am not a number I am not osteoporosis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you have a personal story that needs to be told, please get in touch, we can chat about your book and how you can help others to see whats possible for them.

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