Balancing shadow and light part #1

What does creating balance mean to you? How do you balance the shadow and light in your life?

I see balance as a range of things equally distributed. If we were to imagine a tightrope walker. We have the tightrope walker, the rope, balancing pole and the focus.


In other words, you, the goal or outcome, the balance we are striving for and the factors that go to shape our journey. All factors become inputs into delivering the result – namely our outcomes, in this instance, creating balance. Balance is created from the relationship that is struck between all of these things. It is about when and where to put your attention. Which part of the balancing act needs your attention and which is the priority at any given time. Creating balance requires constant feedback from all of its factors, where communication, perspective and being in tune with conditions around them are essential.

When I look back over my life I see many shadows, but in the shadows I see light.

Wake up calls come in many guises and it is my belief that waking up is your moment to step out of the shadows and into the light so that you can shine your light and help others to do the same. Your wake up call is your call to lead with conscious love, from a place of balance.

The shadows can teach you a lot about self-love which is a wonderful foundation to live your life from.

In life, we have both shadow and light. There are never just shadows and never just light. We can, however, make the choice about where we focus our attention. For me, shadows and light reflect the stories of our lives.

Shadows and light

In uncovering our shadow stories, it is important to understand that what presents is what needs to be dealt with on the way to deeper self understanding and the root cause of disharmony.

Consider for a moment what your shadow story right at this moment might be. What we must do is trust that what steps out of the shadows now is the current priority and that there will be a gift. Remember that your crappy life and how it has shaped you are in fact your gifts. Gifts that once you unlock the meaning in them, will provide you with wonderful personal insight.

Light is an energy, and we usually think of it in terms of visible light, rather than the invisible light inside of us. Our light always shines brightly it’s just that sometimes dark sludgy shadows get in the way of our ability to see it.

The pathway to your light through your colourful shadow story will create love, truth, happiness (contentment), balance and harmony. You will vibrate at a higher frequency. Becoming aware of your light, like your shadow is another gift.

Are you having a shadow year?

While I might be tempted to tell you what I think of my year, I find myself bored with my stories, instead, I want to tell you that I have arrived at a place where I see gifts in each story and each shadow. There may be times that make us feel like we are living in shadows, but I have come to see they are places to rest. – to regain balance and perspective.

Let me explain. In the heat of the summer when I am out walking my doggies, even in the late evening I find myself jumping in the shadows to cool down and rest a while. Standing in the cool gives me a chance to stop marching ahead and consider what is around me. Conversely, in the winter, there are no shadows for me, I’m looking for the sun to heat me up. It’s all a matter of perspective.


Back to our tightrope walker, who if they do not communicate, maintain a perspective, have their senses finely tuned (think wind and temperature and rope tension) and create an agreement with all parts of the equation, how would he or she keep their balance and reach their destination? Those key skills and the relationship between all aspects are what keeps the balance and enable our tightrope walker to reach their goal – the other side. It is, I am sure you will agree, a delicately calibrated dynamic process.

We, you and me are the pivot point in the creating balance equation. We are a pivot because we make decisions, define the strategy and set the direction on the allocation of our energy and resources. We have the responsibility to consider all aspects of our lives. We need a holistic approach when considering how to strike balances between all of the competing things in our busy lives. Not to mention, love and laughter… Creating balance is an imperative, and remember too much of a good thing is a bad thing – most people will die if they breathe 100% oxygen!

A balanced approach to life and personal development acknowledges every person and their lives are different and we are all at different places in our lifecycle, therefore, different approaches to creating balance are necessary. As is keeping a healthy perspective of what is happening for you.

A process and a plan

When the shadows feel too much I know it’s time for a time out. What works for me is to have a mental check in. I could sit down and write up a life balance sheet, but, I intuitively know where and when I am out of whack. This is when I take time out, write, walk and reflect.

When we make the choice to create balance, between our shadow and light, our next step is considering what the shadow story means to us and then how we plan our journey forward.

Create balance, explore shadow and light, see the gifts in the shadows, create the plan and do the work. If the plan is not in place, and action taken, creating balance will never be achieved.

Creating balance

Creating balance in my life is important, more important than it has ever been. My outlook on life has changed radically in the last few years and balance means that I get to do what I love, have to do and have time for me. The days of being a workaholic are over. Work becomes meaningless when you are striving and not expanding.

Much better to focus on a few things that woven mindfully together create inner peace and contentment. I’m learning more about faith and trust and balancing these against fear. Weighing up the options, it seems to me that the rushing to be somebody or something is not where success lies, rather being and flowing bring expansion and transformation. I feel as if I have been there and got the T-shirt and it no longer fits. What fits is the lifestyle I have created which feeds my soul.

More importantly in my journey to self-love, I can now answer easily – do I love myself enough to…

When I am balanced and at peace, I can better serve the world. The value I bring is from years of experience and being connected to my divine inner wisdom. Never has my intuition and insight been so great and I love the gentleness that I have. The wild child is still there, but now she plays and laughs rather than cries and causes a ruckus. My EVE-olution will never be complete, however, being in balance and harmony with who I am and what I can bring feels good.

In summary

  1. Look for the gifts
  2. Create process and plan that works in the way that works for you
  3. Maintain perspective
  4. Know what is important to you and your life

Back to my questions. What does creating balance mean to you? How do you balance the shadow and light in your life?

Are you on a journey to self-love and would like a sounding board, someone to help you create more balance in your life? Get in touch and let’s explore.

101 days of being me

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Dale Darley

Book writing coach, writer and author. Inspiring the freedom to be. Helping to make sense of jumbled mess and bringing order to chaos, simply. Creating a safe place where your voice is heard, you find self-love and know that you are loved. Helping you to share your story in a book. Mum to three dogs and a family of swallows. Life without cake is a life unlived.