All through lockdown, there’s been a sense of restriction of not being allowed to… No one wants to be told that they can’t do anything. I know I don’t. Over the years, I have seen me rebel quite strongly to the phrase ‘you can’t do this’. Yet when lockdown arrived, I complied.
Sure I went through a period of feeling pissed off that I couldn’t go and visit my mum or meet friends at the beach for tea and cake or shop in my favourite shops – they are not really favourite, it’s just that some shops have the things I prefer.
Having my freedom taken away has been quite a thing for me. As a young girl, when my dad said no, you have to be in at ten, I hated him. So much so that I’d wait for my parents to go to bed and climb out of the bedroom window. Once he was so mad, he smacked me around the head with an alarm clock. My memory is not so great, but it could have been one of the nights where I just sat outside of the house, just so I was not doing as I was told.
However, during this period, apart from the odd meltdown, I have stayed at home and stayed safe. I thought about what I could instead say yes to. How would it feel if instead of bucking the system, I focused on being grateful for all I had and what I could say yes to?
What about you what would it be like to see the world through new eyes, ask yourself, what can I say yes to today?
Remember the Universe is listening to you all the time and is ready to respond to your energy. What is it about not only your desires, but the small things that inspires you enough that you want to say yes, and you want the Universe to say yes too as well?
I believe saying yes and gratitude are intrinsically linked. When I am grateful for something and fully appreciate it, I feel differently, and I feel like saying yes to things. My perspective on the world alters, and my heart expands to receive more.
Before you move onto your yes list, remind yourself of at least three things that you appreciate at this moment. This morning as I write this, I can hear the birds, I love their morning song, it reminds me that the day will soon break and I can take the dogs for a walk. The early mornings are not so cold now, there will be a few dew drops hanging on the long grasses that line the path, and there is apart from Mother Nature, our feet crunching on the stony ground and the dog’s breath, silence.
On the bed Angel is curled up, I can hear the occasional sigh, Marley is on the floor, snoring and Ferdy is inside my bed. The three furry ones have kept me sane and smiling. Every day they remind of the joy of a simple life. A treat, a walk, a tickle and stealing a lick from my dinner plate. Their play and antics create miles of smiles in my heart.
Although I can’t see my mum, I chat with her every day. She is not as laid back like me, frets about the virus and all manner of things. She lives, unlike me, in a built-up area and is very restricted. She keeps herself occupied with her writing, watching TV and chatting on Whatsapp with friends. It’s good to hear her voice.
When I think of these things, it becomes easier to say yes and to allow the river of appreciation and yes to flow together through my life and heart.
Make a list of everything that you would like to say YES to. I’m saying yes to:
I remembered that I had a gorgeous necklace and bracelet that was a gift some twenty years ago. I’d been taught to keep things for best, and so I rarely wore this. It had travelled with me through the iterations of my life. I even once tried to sell it when I was desperate for cash but chose instead to keep it. When lockdown arrived, I decided that life was too short to keep things for best, because today is always the best day.
Then there are the bigger things that I’d like to say yes to.
When you have made your list, go and do them. And if they are things that seem a little out of reach, be open to receiving them so that the Universe knows what to create a pathway to for you. All the other things – go and do them. Also, say yes when you get asked to do something even if you feel like you don’t want to. You may not get asked again.
Today is a beautiful day to appreciate all that you have and to be open by saying yes to more.
Join The Journaling Club – where you will get a monthly journaling book (PDF) and exercises to keep you motivated. This month is all about saying yes and starting a gratitude practice.
Being happy to be you has to start with self-acceptance. The bad pixie in your head whispers often whispers I’m not pretty enough, thin enough, tall enough – I’m simply not enough! Our beautiful bodies and minds that work so hard to keep us alive, get a pretty rough ride.
In the spiral downwards you may forget to follow your arrow. In the pursuit of happiness a fundamental fact of life is that we must connect to our hearts and forge a magical arrow that shows the way to the music of our soul.
I know when I haven’t followed my path or done what others have said I should do, I, inevitably sink into the mire.
The more that I have owned who I am and connected with the beauty of my soul the happier I have become.
More than that the I have simply accepted that this is me, the more I am happy to be me.
As I write this my mind is cast back to the last time I ran a writers retreat.
One evening we shared our YouTube favourites whilst supping a few wines. It was one of those indescribable evenings that got sillier and sillier. One of the attendees shared this song, to which I am now addicted. She had us all singing along and it has become one of those motivational songs I listen to before I need to knuckle down to some work.
I invite you to consider the words acceptance and following your arrow. Listen to this song and then get out your journal. Breathe and choose the words that resonate with your soul. How can you choose today to follow your arrow?
Writing uncovers all kinds of things that you may not anticipate. I’ve found myself discovering things that I want to do, but often haven’t dared to follow up on.
Over time as I have change, I have learned to get more connected with what I want. I ask does this speak to my heart? And am I following my arrow or following the crowd?
As Kasey says ‘Follow your arrow, wherever it points’
What I have discovered from writing is that it opens up my heart to what I want to create, have, be and do. It shows me how to bring meaning to my life and what brings me the most inner peace. When I feel blue, writing from the heart brings helps me to find my happy.
What I know is this, you can’t make anyone happy except yourself.
The bottom line is that you need to… follow your arrow wherever it goes.
Find what you love and do it. Simple.
Where does your arrow point?
I have often wondered how did I get here, how did I manifest this life?
The day I got expelled changed my life forever. My dad called me mental. Determined to be brave, I acted unconcerned and tried to relish my newfound freedom.
During the day I visited the beach, the pub for games of darts and pool, and trips to Cardiff. At night, I sat in my room and plotted my escape, freedom at last to be me.
Sitting alone in the pub, I was fresh meat for a new friend, an older, troubled woman, who took me under her wing. I soon discovered that this would be another fatal error in my plan to rule the world.
Thinking I was rather clever, I went away one weekend with an odd group of people. Much to my horror, I found myself with the Moonies. In case, you didn’t know the Moonies were a cult.
The next two days were hell on earth, trapped once more in the classroom, with no unescorted time to myself. I was followed everywhere by Richard new best friend. There were lectures from early in the morning to late at night, interspersed with food and lots of catchy little ditties. This was worse than school! The drone of the lecturers’ voice kept sending me into a lull, he was so boring I fell asleep a few times.
Coming around from a doze, I was shocked to hear that Reverend Sun Myung Moon was indeed the second coming of Christ. That’s what we were here for, the extra-terrestrials wanted to turn us into moon children! My heightened senses screamed escape, escape. These people were nuts, they weren’t the spiritual beings I had anticipated. I wanted to go home to face my punishment. My dad was right; I was mental.
With the weekend over, I went home once again to tell my tales of derring do. Home sweet home, angry parents, no money, no job, and no qualifications. Being made an example of seemed so much better than an arranged marriage and a life of walking the streets looking for others to brainwash. I was free.
As Oliver Hardy said in the 1930’s film – Well, here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into. And it wasn’t the only one.
Life can be complicated and confusing, can’t it? Without a ‘how to be human’ handbook, we can only go down the path we think is right.
There’s a wonderful saying that says if you don’t know where you are going any path will do.
When it comes to manifesting your desires, I believe that it’s equally important to consider how you got here. We often forget the twists and turns of the journey and all of the amazing or otherwise experiences we have had.
Although you don’t want to be held in the past, knowing what brought you here, can you help you to understand why you want to manifest what you do and what can potentially stand in your way.
What exactly brought you to this moment? An evolution or a revolution?
When you look back over the last 12 months, 3 years, 10 years or even back to childhood, what are those moments that caused a sharp and abrupt change and what are the moments that were slow, calm and filled with love? Did you get bolts from the blue followed by a period of resolution, understanding and then joy?
We rarely have time to ponder how we got here because we are busy working out how to sort out the latest crisis or thing that needs dealing with. When you understand more or how you got here and how you manifested your life, you can begin to perceive it differently.
Life is not one long period of ecstatic peace, love and harmony, it is made up of lessons for us to learn. Each lesson teaching you something amazing about yourself, and if you don’t learn the lesson the first time, it somehow creeps up and bites you on the bum.
Sometimes those dratted lessons keep spinning around until something jolts you awake. Then you often find that after a period of let’s call it grieving, you find a gorgeous peace once again descends, and you have a slow and enchanted growth period.
Life goes in revolutions and evolutions. Neither exists without the other, and both exist because of each other. Every step of your human journey has both revolution and evolution at its core. During this journey, life happened, chaos probably ensued, and often, like me, you had no idea who you were and what the hell was going on. You may have married (several times), had kids, took unsuitable jobs, dabbled at being an entrepreneur and all kinds of human existence and personal development stuff.
Either way, stuff happened, and without the fast rapid jolt that revolution provides, you could not have evolved into the beautiful person that you are today.
I wonder if what you want to manifest today is based on something that happened yesterday? Perhaps something you think needs fixing? Or something you are yearning for?
Grab your journal and take a moment to reflect on what brought you here and the part you played in manifesting the life you have had.
For me this is about acceptance. Accepting that I chose my life and I made the decisions that brought me to this place.
Steve Jobs says that you can only connect the dots backwards. Indeed, you might think that cannot connect them forward. You can learn from the past, accept it and then envision what you desire, set intentions and make more conscious choices.
I don’t believe in regrets. I’ve thought about this long and hard, and I believe that the choices that I made and the actions that were taken were meant to be. Regret is, therefore, a waste of energy. You may, of course, disagree. They could be big things that you regret or have emotions around. But the thing is you cannot change the past. It’s done. It’s gone.
I know that the shadows of the past haunt us and colour our lives. Childhood trauma cuts us life a blunt knife, slowly dragging our flesh through time.
When I look back, I wonder what would have happened if I had innocently picked up a knife and slit the throat of my sexual aggressor when I was a ten-year-old. I didn’t. Instead, I carried the wounds of lack of self-worth until I was able to and chose to love me.
Looking back over the dots for many people will drag up regrets. They will look back and regret the things that they didn’t do more than the great things that they did. It’s probably because as a species we are hard-wired to be away from, rather than towards. That is, we started our existence by running away from big creatures that wanted to eat us. Strange isn’t it to think that humans are naturally wired to move away from something rather than towards?
Do you have regrets? Perhaps about not looking after your health, taking or leaving a job, not seeing someone before they departed, not noticing that someone was in emotional pain…
For me, regret brings up the should word. It’s not a word I like to use. In fact, when I hear it coming off my tongue, I quickly catch it and chuck it back out into the Universe. There is nothing I should do, only what is right for me, my higher self and heart, at this moment.
What about the regrets though of who we think we could have become? I remember as a young, idealist 20-year old telling my mates over one too many strong ciders, that one day, I would be the CEO of a massive company and we would be changing the world.
It never happened. Or did it?
Though when I look at it sideways, I am part of a massive company, we are the people who are working to make a difference to our bit of the world, and I firmly believe that I am the CEO of my life.
If there is a regret about not reaching who you thought you ‘should’ have become or that so far you haven’t reached your full potential, what could you do at this moment to change that?
Or is right where you are where you need to be? And right where you will be in 2 months with a bit more learning under your belt, also perfect?
When I hear someone on TV saying I regret that I said that or did this, it feels like rhetoric. We like to hear that they are sorry and that they will make amends. Let’s hope that they do make amends. But regrets? It’s too late. It’s done.
There are steps you can take to be a better human or create more for you. But before you do that, I think that you need to accept that you are perfect just as you are. Yes, even with your bad temper and sarky ways.
Let’s not be people who regret. Let’s instead, look back with pride about how far you have evolved and choose to make better, more conscious decisions moving forward.
And leave regret behind in the dots, because if you cannot, as far as I know, alter time.
Join me for 8 weeks of Manifesting Magic – it’s a course, a program, a circle and most of all it’s a safe space to explore who you want to become on the way to getting what you want.
When did you last stop and say I am celebrating who I am? I don’t mean you celebrated a birthday or anniversary, I mean you took a good look at yourself and high fived yourself for just being you.
We are all in the process of evolving and becoming a better version of who we were just a moment ago, even if it doesn’t feel like it – you are. Yet when we get to the end of the day we rarely say ‘Hey you. You did well.’
Maybe it feels strange celebrating the small stuff?
Is it perhaps that because the way that we evolve is barely noticeable that we simply sweep it under the carpet?
Take a moment to consider how you got to this point in your life. I think of it a process where we go through revolution, revelation and into evolution.
Revolution is about systems and structures, evolution is about people and genetics. Systems and structures can evolve and people can revolt, but what are they really and how can we use revolution and evolution to change the way in which we lead, love and laugh?
Humans are adaptable, creative and innovative and we have an amazing ability to change and to create change. That can be abrupt and rapid change when faced with something that may be unacceptable, scary, frustrating but equally creative and innovative. Or it can be slow and considered change.
Without revolution, you cannot evolve and without evolution, there is no space to revolt. One begets the other. One is slow, the other fast. One has well placed and considered passion, the other has often has explosive and fiery passion. They are the yin and yang of life.
In the midst of revolution comes revelation which allows the unfurling of evolutionary change.
Revolution originally comes from the way in which the planets revolve. Not that I am a scientist, but for me, that means something fairly predictable since we know that all of the planets move in typically fixed ways – they revolve around each other.
Though of course despite the planets moving in a pattern, there will always be other cosmic interruptions which do not form the norm and are therefore not predictable. And so you can imagine that as the disruptions from the skies erupted and disturbed man the word revolution changed (evolved) to mean something else.
Often when I think about revolution, what comes to mind are fights, wars, battles, disorder, governments being overthrown, blurred lines, no winners and certainly nothing remotely predictable.
But I also feel that revolutions can be born out a desire to create change quickly. People who subscribe to revolution want to crush old ways and make way for new order but not necessarily with that associated fear, frustration and anger.
Revolution can be about resolution without obliteration. Revolution can be about innovation, creativity and change for the good but with rapid growth pains.
Imagine receiving a divine message, one that asks you to wake up and to uncover what is already known to you? How annoying to discover that everything was already inside of you but you just didn’t realise it.
Does knowledge accumulate or is it something that is also already known to you, but it needs slowing uncovering through life’s lessons? Consider the knowledge you will have gained as your life progresses. It appears cumulative and in small chunks. Or is it and does it matter how it comes as long as you take an active role in doing something with that knowledge?
Nothing is going to change because of the knowledge you have about a situation. What changes is the insight you gain from reflection? It is the knitting together different strands of knowledge and interweaving them with reflections that give you an epiphany and true insight.
It is through the insight you gain from each revelation that helps you to become a different person. And with your suitcase full of revelations you can start a new journey and evolve into the person you are destined to become and have always been.
Evolution is about the gradual change of populations across generations. It is about transformation as people respond to their environment. It is a gradual development of anything. It is expansion into who you are meant to be.
Think for a moment of every revolution in your life. Times of abrupt change, followed by times of quiet consideration. Eruptions, solitude, eruptions, quietude and so your personal world revolves and evolves.
Naturally and sadly your personal revolution could have been violent. Not all of the changes you go through are pleasant. Divorce, redundancy, death are just a few of life’s less fun events, but without them, there would not be an opportunity for change. These short-lived radical outbursts create pivot points for change and a time to breathe. They create opportunities for evolution. They present revelations.
If nothing had happened to me, if I hadn’t travelled this path, I wouldn’t have beautiful gifts to share. You too will receive gifts from your adventures.
All of your life has been revolution, revelation and evolution and what is often missing is recognising and celebrating who you are. Right now is the time for this to end.
Right now is the time for you to celebrate the small stuff, the everyday stuff, the stuff that goes to make you the person you are.
“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey
I love to spell words out and use them for journaling ideas. Here’s a few for you.
Think about what you have created today? It could be the best peanut butter and jam sandwich, but equally, it could be something that you have done that has contributed to your goals or community.
How have you evolved today? What one small step have you taken towards your best self? Today I took the final step in celebration and took some time out to be in the now. I needed to recharge my batteries and it was certainly a gift.
What have you learned today? I have a journal that I write my lessons in life in. I ask what life lesson have I learned today? One of my lessons in life was ‘do not assume’.
In what ways have you evolved today? These are the small things, the ones that you rarely notice.
Bravery can be about trying something new. Perhaps something that you might not have tackled before like risking being wrong. What about setting boundaries with someone for the first time (I did a few days ago)? What have you done today that is a big step in being brave?
One of the best ways to get clarity when journaling is to go back and read what you have written and reflected on it. It is in reflecting that you will find loads of insight and aha’s.
So did you have an adventure today? I think every day is an adventure, even if it seems mundane. There is always something new to embrace. What happened on your adventure today?
Truth is what frees us.
“The ultimate truth of who you are is not I am this or I am that, but I Am.” – Eckhart Tolle
Reflect on this quote and consider how you experience who you are, not as things or labels, but more – how you experience life as you.
When you don’t listen to your intuition you will miss the good stuff. That little voice in your head is guiding you. Listen. When you listen celebrate that you did. I was driving down the mountain when my inner voice said go slower. I moved from 5th to 3rd and crawled into the next outcrop of houses and what did I see? A mummy Podenco with her baby crossing the road. I celebrated their lives and that I listened.
We hear about being in the now all the time and yet we rarely simply sit and be with the now. Busy, busy seems to be the norm. A reward and celebration at the end of the day is time with you. I like to end my day with meditation. It’s time to switch off and celebrate another day well-lived.
Think of all the goodness in your life. Surely this is worth celebrating. Where did goodness show up today?
To be able to celebrate you I believe that you must do this from a place of self-love. When you love yourself you can achieve anything. I’ll leave you with this question – do I love myself enough to?
Grab your journal, pick one or two and explore.
If you love journaling and getting to the heart of who you are, you will love my journaling books
Get a journal for the journey and have fun. I have a selection of gratitude journals on Amazon
Miracles happen when we create space within ourselves and in the world. A magical life is realised when we stop, realise and appreciate all that we have and that life is good. I’ve been there and experienced some horrible things in life, and yes a few times I wanted to give up. When I did my superpower resilience kicked in, and I found a bit of magical fairy dust to help me get out of the grunge I was stuck in.
I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being. Hafiz
There have been so many times when I couldn’t connect to the wonder of being a child. Yet more times, when I was caught up in simply living, fighting fires or just bewildered with how overwhelming things were. I forgot that the magic of life or how to have a magical life full of miracles was on offer.
There is no special formula for that happy to me be feeling, but there are a few steps to help you to get back to knowing that life is magical. I teach these in my forthcoming book – Manifesting Magic and in my courses and on my program. I do not have a formula, more I have a process and things that I have done and do that bring me balance, harmony and inner peace.
Having a magical life also comes when you make a conscious choice that this is what you want,
I learned from my challenges to live life on my terms and to appreciate all that I have and all that I am. For me, this is having a magical life.
M – Manifesting magic: Live your life according to your values and knowing that you can have everything you want and need. If it is possible in the world, it is possible for you
A -Aligned action: Because without action nothing will happen
G – Gratitude: The Universe responds to people who appreciate their life and all that is in it
I – Intuition: Be guided by your inner light and know that you are surrounded and supported by your spirit team
C – Compassion. Acts of generosity and kindness create a chain of kindness
Stop for a moment before you answer. Ask yourself this how you can create a space where normal becomes wonder-filled and wonder-fueled? This may have you stumped. It did me when I first asked the question. I then asked when have I felt these moments before? That’s easier, and these memories are more accessible. Every morning I am greeted by the furry ones who want to rush outside and just experience all that there is. My dogs taught me so much about appreciating all that there is.
Magic is here to stimulate wonder and appreciation. You can practice gratitude every day to start the process.
Get a journal for the journey and have fun. I have a selection of gratitude journals on Amazon
Life can sometimes feel like you are spinning a wheel of fortune. Throw in a dice and hope for the best. Where it lands, no one knows.
When I first started my coaching training, I was presented with a wheel of life and instructed to fill it in. It seemed rather flaky and there were no clear instructions about what to do next. Yes, I had to focus on the areas which had low numbers, set some SMART goals and take action. It all felt so impersonal and didn’t address my heart and soul, and so I chucked it in the bin and choose instead to use my own random navigation system that took me all over the place, around a few cosmic roundabouts and into some pretty fine scrapes.
When I came back to it many years later, I saw it instead as the wheel of fortune. Not fortune in the sense of winning a lottery, which is a bit random, but more creating winning circumstances in what often felt like the lottery of life. Which it isn’t really, it just feels like it.
Change yourself and change your fortune
When you think of the wheel of fortune, you may bring to mind a gambling game, the way that fate deals you a hand, perhaps a Tarot card or maybe destiny out of control.
Imagine looking at your wheel of fortune, giving it a spin and going with what comes up, just out of pure luck. Now imagine looking at your wheel of fortune and you deciding on your destiny and the path you want to take towards your good fortune.
Working with the wheel of fortune is quite straightforward. There is a wheel divided up into life areas:
Before you fill it in ask – what do I want?
Look at the wheel and score yourself from 1-10 within each of these areas, remembering this is a snapshot of where you are in your life at this point in time
When you have done this, it’s time to reflect
For example, you may have said that what you want is more money in your life, but when you have done this exercise, you can see that your health has scored quite low. On reflection that creates a realisation that unless you have the energy to chase/make money, it will never happen. You understand that the way of your fortune is to look at your health first.
Before we leave this I want to ask you again, what do you really want? Then ask yourself if you are not getting these things because you are blocking them. And finally how are you or how can you open up your heart to making this possible?
Let’s move away from health for a moment and let’s imagine that you want to write a book. Ask yourself these questions:
You know I am going to ask a deeper set of questions, so… What do you really want?
The point of the wheel of fortune is to ask you to ignite the process of getting what you want started and for you to take a snapshot of where you are. This means that when you get further along in getting what you want, you will have woken up some important ideas and potentially some issues that need addressing.
A balanced life or wheel of fortune does not mean getting ten in each life area. You might balance one area with another. Some areas need more attention and focus than others at a particular time. Inevitably you will need to make choices and compromises, as your time and energy are not in unlimited supply.
When fortune calls, offer her cake
When you look at the gaps or areas that strike you as needing attention is there something that you can do right now to clear the decks to make way for what may come up as the thing that you most want to manifest. Remember we are just tickling your mental buds at the moment, and there is more to come.
Action it: Explore in your journal about what you want and where you find yourself. The ask – what next?
Join me for 8 weeks of Manifesting Magic – it’s a course, a program, a circle and most of all it’s a safe space to explore who you want to become on the way to getting what you want. And you will be inspired to be your best self.
Before I ask you that immortal question what do you want, I want to introduce you to a bit of manifesting machinery that you carry around with you all the time. She has a jazzy name – The reticular activating system, but you can call her RAS.
When I was little mum and dad bought us a budgie, and they called it Jacqui (my first name). They said that the bird would respond and focus on its name because I got told off so often. I called her Budge, and we became the best of friends.
Budge was quite a character and did what she wanted, (just like me) including eating the windowsill. Instinctively Budge knew this was good for her beak, and that was what she honed in on. Much later she learned how to sit on my plate, shoulder or finger and bite anyone who came near me. It seemed that her intention was to protect me. To be honest, I never noticed how she focused on me until one day, I was doing something with my future husband when he got a rather nasty nip. After that, I was very careful not to upset her.
RAS works similarly for us. Once we have set our intentions on what we want, it filters out what we don’t want. So in terms of manifesting we should be able to say what we want, focus on getting it and ta-da there it is.
However there may on occasion be a conflict as RAS also validates your beliefs. So if you think you can’t then chances are you can’t. What is essential here is to start the manifesting process off by saying what you want, working towards achieving these things, dealing with the stuff that gets in the way and changing your energy, so you are aligned with your desires.
In this article, you are going to kick start the process of asking for what you want and then noticing what happens. Think back to when you last wanted a blue car, I guarantee you saw you blue car everywhere, or what about when there is something you need to hear, and the radio plays the perfect song, or you read the exact quote.
To get what you want, you need to manage your energy and focus on the thing you want. Tune into your body and learn to recognise the good feelings associated with what you want. You may not know how to tune into your body and manage your energy just yet. That’s to come in another article. For now just know that you have a powerful on-board magical system waiting to support you.
In the words of the Spice Girls:
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah
So what do you want? Stop, pause, breath, ask and scribble in your journal. This is just the beginning. You are readying your unconscious mind to get you prepared for creating what I call a bucket list for your soul. So that what you go after is aligned with your best self, true to your heart and is on your soul map to inner peace. Grab your journal and ask:
Let’s say I want to write a series of books for girls, I would focus these questions on that. This gets the juice flowing and one of the first things I might do is to undertake some light market research.
When you have done that, do some soul searching and look expand your thinking. What else do you want? And is there an order you want these things? Do you want?
As you can see, these aren’t material things, but they are very worth considering.
By now you will be wondering what is going on and maybe feeling a bit of overwhelm and chaos. I always think that this is good because your mind will scramble stuff up and then try to make sense of it for you. When you have your list of what you want, ask these questions:
Thinking about the girl’s books, it could mean that finally, you are following a long-held dream of being a children’s author. This could you give you confidence, fulfilment, excitement, joy, and a sense of purpose. What you won’t have are feelings of regret because you never tried.
What could happen next is you will start to think about your challenges. And the danger is that this will be where you focus your energy. If it is, then you will know that the reason is because of your mind mechanics, giving you what it thinks you need. Once you have started this process, you might now be saying things like:
When not very pleasant this is great because you are starting to get things out in the open and later in other articles, you can look at how to squish your gremlins.
Take some time out and ask again. It is only by asking can you get clarity.
And you will be pleased to know that this is the last thing I am going to suggest…
Reflect in your journal. I think you will find magical things happening.
Join me for 8 weeks of Manifesting Magic – it’s a course, a program, a circle and most of all it’s a safe space to explore who you want to become on the way to getting what you want. And you will be inspired to be your best self.
I can’t remember the moment that I thought I knew what love meant or even what it was. It was a word. I think I confused it with sex and boys wanting something that they had equally mixed up with love.
Who teaches us this love thing? Naturally, we witness our families ways of loving but no one says to you this is how you do it, you just see modes of behaviour, that you encode to be that way that it is.
Loving and being loved are not givens, and all of our experiences will be different and so I dare not presume that you had or have all of the love that you desire and deserve. And you do deserve it.
I am in the school that says love yourself first and I know this to be true for me, because that is my experience. Having always given so much of me, I often found myself feeling used, abused and worthless.
Love was not equal. I think I used it to try and make me feel lovable, loved and worth something. But I only felt worthy when I set up life in the hills on my own with the dogs and took the time to get to know me. Underneath all of the baggage and masks was a person I loved and someone who came to know that she was worthy.
It is because of my experiences that I love this question because I now know that it is a feeling that is unique to each of us. Love is the greatest human power anyone can possess. With this as a power source and gateway to the divine (ours and Universal), we can become our best selves.
It is a powerful energy which resides within us. Misplaced it can destroy anything, just as pure love can provide the fuel to help us to overcome anything. So many things are done in the name of love aren’t they?
As an emotion it can drive us or drive us bonkers. We want it, we crave it, when we have it we feel incredible, when we don’t, we yearn it. It can make us do some crazy things. It’s what makes humanity and it’s absence is what can destroy humanity.
It will always remain one of those things that is hard to describe, but you know when you feel it. Rather than me putting a label on it, all I ask is that you take yourself back to times when you have felt love and ease yourself back into those experiences. What did you feel? What did you do or say in the name of love?
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. Lao Tzu
Does your love have qualities? Think words like kindness, loving-kindness, honour, respect, compassion, trust, healing, nurturing, joy, non attachment, non judgement, patient, humble, selfless, calm, honest, lets go, non blaming, no fear, no jealousy and equality.
What would add to your list and why?
No one is expecting you to be a paragon of virtue and possess all of these or even ‘be’ them all the time. We all judge, or get angry or are at times selfish and that is perfectly normal. It’s more what are the qualities I possess or that I aspire to.
I’m assuming that you would think about possessions differently to your cat or dog, or your parents or your lover? When it was attached to a person, a thing or say a pet, how was it? Are there different qualities depending upon the circumstances or the experience?
The thing is everyone will have an opinion and my invitation is for you to explore what it means to you and for you.
It has been said that there is only love and fear. Everything else fits between these two things and what we are striving for is to live in the light of love.
Even science knows that love and fear hold different vibrations, so it makes sense that when you are manifesting what you want you send out the right vibrational energy. Remember the Universe is always listening and will send you back what you emit. Stay with the good vibes and feelings when you can.
To know love is to also know fear. And while it may seem a contradiction, fear is not to be feared. It is a sign that we need to take some action. It is showing us that there is something we need and might want to do something about. Bizarrely there is great value in fear. Think about this, our bodies use fear to get us out of danger fast. That has to be great, but you wouldn’t want to be on high alert all of the time, would you?
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
When you stand on any part of the love-fear spectrum, it is a call for you to take a step closer to the heart. Imagine if at one end is a dark tunnel or circle and at the other is a heart. The call is to move closer to the heart. This is your home. At your heart, you make a connection with you, make a connection to other’s hearts and to the heart of Mother Earth.
On a practical level, the heart and the brain are entwined like immortal lovers. Each working unconsciously with the other and showing you how to become better connected with your heart, to break down barriers, tear away the cages that create barriers around it, letting the beauty of your love and feel good emotions flow to the brain so that it can release the feel-good neurotransmitters which we all need.
There is a lot written about these and the science behind each is fascinating, what I like to think is that if I am the kind of person that I aspire to be, I’ll be keeping my neurotransmitters working and balanced.
Dopamine called the motivation and reward molecule. This is according to research critical for love to thrive and survive between couples. It signals the brain to say hey wake up you are about to feel good. We all like to feel rewarded so that we stay motivated to continue doing whatever it is that makes us feel alive. Dopamine helps you to remember this feel-good factor so that you want to do it again. That’s why it plays such a big role in love and the exhilaration of falling in love.
Oxytocin is known as the bonding molecule. This is what bonds babies to mothers and lovers to each other. Oxytocin has been shown to have two sides to it. The positive everything in the world is rosy and the side that is exhibited when things go wrong in love which leads to jealousy, envy and suspicion, i.e. lack of trust.
Serotonin is the molecule of happiness. Serotonin is responsible for helping us to feel confident and enabling a stable mood.
Endorphins are molecules of security and peace. These are known as natures pain killers. When you do not love yourself, you often will engage in activities (suppressing emotions) which create dis-ease in the body and could trigger a pain response. By undertaking more loving activities, eating better, exercising, meditation and introducing other self-care opportunities, you will reduce the dis-ease and the related pain.
The subject of being in love is such a massive subject which is also a very personal and intense feeling. What about that falling in love feeling?
Being in love can be confusing and fun. It can sneak up on you quite unexpectedly, and it can also disappear in what can seem like a moment. Take a moment to reflect on how you are when you are in love or falling in love. You can learn a lot about you when you fall in love with someone else.
When people put love and manifesting together it’s usually to manifest a lover. This is not where I am going. Though of course you can add it to your bucket list and call in the one that is for your highest good.
Love is energy and if you have shut yourself down how will the Universe ever know that you are open to receiving all of the abundance that it has to offer you?
What about if you are living in the past and haven’t accepted that what is done is done and you are still tearing your hands on the shards of a broken heart?
What about your faith? Have you lost faith in the power of love? Without faith, there is no belief in magic.
The importance of love is that you are creating a vibration that lets the Universe know that your heart is open and that you are ready to get what you want and need.
Who doesn’t adore the feelings of love? But like all things in life too much of a good thing is unbalancing. As well as feeling all of the feelings what is essential is acting from the heart with kindness and compassion.
I love what I call The Kindness Project where you undertake acts of kindness for yourself and others.
What act of kindness could you offer someone or yourself today? Go and have fun.
When you have done all of that, put your hands on your heart and feel the love. Take a few moments to believe that you can create whatever you want. Know that with the vibration and energy of love you can manifest the life and the love you really want.
Next you have to take steps to examine the vulnerability of your heart and unlocking it. Big stuff which we will look at another day.
Join me for 8 weeks of Manifesting Magic – it’s a course, a program, a circle and most of all it’s a safe space to explore who you want to become on the way to getting what you want. And you will be inspired to be your best self.
When I was growing up I wanted to be a rock star. But for most of my life when I asked the question who do I want to be, my reflection would say, sorry hon I have no idea.
Once I thought I wanted to be a politician because they changed the world didn’t they? And then I saw how they got slated in the papers for partaking in the party life and I was soon put off.
Then I thought, I know what, I’ll run a massive company, and change the world that way, but I couldn’t think what I wanted to sell.
So I joined the IT industry and sold things, made money and drove around showing off software. To be honest I rather liked it. But what killed that was selling vapour ware. I was far too honest so I moved into marketing. This I enjoyed for a while and then it was consultancy, training and executive coaching…
Much later I gave up and became what felt like a nobody, trapped in a loveless marriage.
But the truth is these were all jobs or roles, which while they told the world what I did, they didn’t share the golden magical elixir of me and my ‘me’ness.
What a liberation to realize that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am. ‘Who am I, then?’ The one who sees that. Eckhart Tolle
If I am not the voice in my head, or the body that I wear, then who do I want to be is a wonderful and quite perplexing question.
And almost as bad as who are you?
You are a soul, born into a body, here to live out the road map you created for yourself before you left the soul place.
Yikes that’s a bit scary, isn’t there a manual for being and being on the road of life?
In yoga class we would chant this Mantram Of The Soul and while I enjoyed saying it, no one could tell me what it meant and so I surmised that I was invoking my soul purpose and who I was in my purest form without the baggage of being human.
I am the Soul.
I am the Light Divine.
I am Love.
I am Will.
I am Fixed Design
Invocation of the soul – Alice Bailey
What I have come to believe is that who I want to be is about qualities and values.
I want to be kind, loving, lovable, nonjudgmental, funny, perspicacious, discerning and extraordinary in an ordinary way. I just want to be the kind of person that others trust and respect. That others know that they can rely on when they need some love or a doggy lick.
And yet there could be more that I want as I learn and traverse this life. I am like you a work in progress and the never finished article and I guess I will only know what that is when I go home.
What I know is that the me that I desire to be now, will not be the who I want to be later in my life and I like that. I like the idea that I am forever evolving and becoming and this is what I believe to be part of the magic of life and being human.
If I cast my mind back to the dances I have had with the demons within. I can see how they have helped me to become the me I am today. Just as I witness the strangeness of life and how I have seen others. It is by the grace of God that some of these people are not us.
What about the tramp in the car park sipping cider while his dog sits patiently by? What bought this man to that corner of the car park? If I had taken a different fork in my road, would that be me? What if my party excesses had become one too many and in a moment of carelessness I wandered to the other side of the street to make my life out of a cardboard box and a few cans of cider?
And the kid I caught in the street throwing stones at car windows in an attempt to draw attention both to him and away from him? This child, who wouldn’t confess or say sorry ended up being beaten by his mother and who knows what else because of his stubbornness. Who are we to berate this scrap when all he wants is to be loved? What if the naughty child that you or I once was decided that being bad was the only way to get noticed and ended up being quite different people to who we are today?
On another day I found myself standing in a filthy flat at eight am, with a cider swilling ex-heroin addict, crying hysterically because her son had just died, and she couldn’t comprehend why another person in her life had passed.
I watched while she ranted, passing pictures of different dead men to me, husband, boyfriend, brother, uncle and now son. My emotions were ripped into a million pieces, I held her as she cried, she stunk, and as she sobbed, I wondered what I could do? Back home was a 91-year-old woman who would shortly be getting out of bed and needed my help to feed her.
Torn. One side wanting to stay, help her to sober up and put her life back on track and the other side having to go and help someone else. My head was fucked, and I chose to walk away and leave her to it. Not a day passes when I don’t think of her, and I don’t like the part of me that left her to it. Some months later, she killed herself.
I know lots of people who look down their noses at the drunks and druggies, have they never stuffed their faces with too much fine wine and good grub or spent too much on a retail therapy trip. It’s the same thing, just different sides of the same coin. My dad was an alcoholic, so I guess that makes me more understanding.
I know that there is so much wrong and too much evil, I have no idea what causes someone to kill others or steal off old ladies, but something drives them, some forces exist that pulls them in that direction.
When my mum had her pocket picked, she was distraught. They walked away with her 90 euros and who knows how much from other old ladies. Mum deeply saddened to be a victim was bought dinner by friends, she lost some cash and a bit of faith. Did the thieves go home and buy dinner for their family, did the money go into some pot, did they get their split, was it a choice because of dire need or are they out and out shits?
We know there is no excuse for adultery, theft or killing, these people could keep their pants on, get jobs or go to anger management classes, couldn’t they?
Could they? When the devil dances with their demons, what choices do they feel that they have? How did they become them?
We make our own reality; our own choices and it is never too late to change. It is never too late to become who you want to be.
I think the question who do I want to be is a beautiful question and one you already know the answer to.
When the dark angels come to play with you, when they steal your essence, and you let life fall indiscriminately through your fingers, focus on what you can learn, and the gifts that you have been graced with.
Encourage your curious child to come out, get him or her ready to play, give them crayons and tell them to scribble. As we get older we forget what it is like to jump in puddles, or leap over streams, catch raindrops from leaves, but that doesn’t mean to say you can’t start again and reach into your hidden depths and manifest your dreams – you can.
Consider this. You are who you are meant to be. You are the one who determines who you are. You are the one who chooses from here on in who you want to be.
Grab your journal, dig deep and answer the question – who do you want to be? What about who don’t you want to be?
Sometimes I find the whole concept of acceptance hard. I know when my spine fractured, I could not accept that this was my life. Nor could I accept that this was what my body looked like.
I went through psychological hell every day. I was in fear, then anger and slowly, slowly I came to accept that I could change the fact that I had fractures, but I could accept that the way to healing was by stopping the fight, laying down my sword and looking at things from another perspective.
Whenever acceptance comes knocking on my door I dig this out and boy does it calm me down.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen. Reinhold Niebuhr
Life is unpredictable. In life, stuff happens that sometimes does not make sense. But as Steve Jobs says, you can only connect the dots backwards. When you ask the question how did I get here? You will start, I am sure to make connections and see patterns in your beliefs and behaviours.
When it comes to acceptance it means that we need to make room for our experiences and choose consciously how to deal with them. Do you fight them or do you deal with them energetically and understand that in your experiences are gifts and lessons?
You can see the positive or you can fight what is going on. Why would you want to wander around a littered battlefield? You will discover more of your happy to be me and become more peaceful when you accept what has happened instead of constantly fighting to change things, that cannot be changed.
This is not about giving up or not taking action, rather it is knowing that pushing against a closed door will always hurt. Whereas finding ways to open the door and walk through it without resistance will deliver far greater rewards.
It’s not about the past, while that is a great source of reference for peeling the onion. There will be stuff that you wish had never happened, but you know that you cannot turn back time. The past is a place of reference and not a place to dwell. Neither is it about the future because we cannot force it.
We can create visions, make decisions, and we can take action, but we already know stuff can happen to throw these visions off course. That is why it is essential to understand yourself, just a bit more…
Acceptance will give you longer lasting happiness or as I like to call it contentment. I am certainly happier when I shrug my shoulders, swear a bit and look at how to turn my experiences into learning points.
It’s easy isn’t it to look in the mirror and judge? I did. The more I judged the worst that I felt. When I said ok, I cannot change fractures, but I can change what I eat, I can change my energy and perspective and I can tell my body I love her just as she is.
There are some words that I feel I have a bit of a battle with and surrender is one of them. Logically I know that acceptance is about surrendering and letting go of the outcome. In other words set your intention and let it flow.
Sometimes it’s about understanding that you have invested too much in chasing something that is not for you. Accept, and let it go.
In letting go you make space for what is meant to be in your life.
When you fight for what you want, it becomes a battle. When you get stuck on how things ‘should’ manifest, you push for them to come about in the way that is not in alignment with your soul.
Have you been taught to never give up, or to soldier on or keep going the end is in sight?
What do you do or feel like when despite all of the struggle you don’t get what you want? Scream? Get ill or angry? Eat rubbish?
This is when acceptance and surrender are your best friends.
Let it go, let it flow, reframe and refocus. When you change the energy, everything changes.
Perhaps you want to manifest a better body. It can be hard to accept what your body looks like.When my spine fractured, I hated (and I mean despised) what I looked like and could not accept it. Instead, I judged myself against others and my perception of what a beautiful body should look like.
I went through hell.
What I did, in this case, was to work on my beliefs, judgement, self-love and happy to be me factor. But let me tell you it has freaking hard.
More than anything I wanted inner peace, to be healed, healthy, and happy.
What I can accept is that I have three wedge fractures, and nothing will change their shape. What I don’t and didn’t accept was that I needed drugs to heal. The mind is powerful, and I believed I could heal, so this is the truth that I accepted.
In acceptance, I was able to drop the fight and make peace with myself. I felt the feelings, I cried, and I wanted to not be here, but I also loved the experience of seeing myself heal and getting stronger. I let go of the struggle, I surrendered and worked on what I could achieve. I made conscious decisions and choices, which are vital for manifesting.
From a manifesting perspective the Universe is listening to you all the time and if you focus on crap, that’s what you will get. But if you accept what you cannot change, surrender the outcome, change your energy and focus on what you want – a healthy healed spine – that’s what you get.
I get very impatient when creating art. I want it done now! But the key to a better painting is to take my time, to stand back and to allow it to grow naturally.
Acceptance is like art, it takes time to create a beautiful life.
I believe that I was meant to rebuild the foundations of who I was. To connect with my soul and my body and learn to believe in myself and my ability to manifest.
I always say and will keep saying manifesting is who you become on the way to getting what you want.
So… Who do you want to be. What do you want? What do you have to let go of? What do you choose instead?
Think about something that has happened that you did not like very much, which you found hard to accept.
Grab your journal
Stop headbutting a closed door and instead do as Elbow sang in One Day Like This – throw those curtains wide.