You have to wonder at some peoples values. For over a week my website has been in lockdown by my host. It was hacked and rotten files added.
It was easily remedied. Thank goodness, but I was left feeling frustrated.
I had access to it and in a way it worked out well as I could start a rebrand while no one could see what I was up to. Or is that just me choosing to see the positive in this?
Many years ago, I hosted a website for a friend, who I had asked to make sure that they kept their website up to date and secure. They didn’t. Again, I was called to question what others valued and their values.
On this occasion it took me weeks to delete the code.
Why you may ask, did I do it? Well… You know… Because I could, it was a challenge and I am a bit of an adventurer, I wanted to roam around the back door of my files and database looking for the rotter who did this.
It’s a funny old life.
Just last night something irked me last night. I breathed into what might be causing me to feel miffed. What came up was an old pattern – wasting my time. I felt someone had wasted my time – just like the hackers.
I dislike hanging around waiting. I like to be early. I want to be prepared. The boundaries around my time are precious.
What I give my time to is important and as I thought about it I started to feel a deeper appreciation for the time that others give (as I do).
Thank you to all of the generous souls out there who give their time with love. So, I am letting all of this go with a smile
Today, let it go, let it flow, choose to see another perspective because punching someone on the nose is not acceptable
Can you remember the first time anyone talked to you about values?
I’m not sure that I can, and it certainly wasn’t in school or at work. More likely on a workshop.
What I know is that every time I am asked what my values are it cause me to stop and think. Each time I do this exercise I choose the same words and their meaning as the years fly by becoming clearer as I become more connected to myself.
That is not to say that I haven’t always been connected to me, rather that after going through so much, I am my values. They are no longer words; these are the foundations of how I live my life.
Your values are the foundation of who you are. You live your life by them and if you stick to them, then life will flow as it is meant to.
What I remember about school was that I had to choose a stream. A series of subjects that I would study for the next few years.
Without considering what my heart wanted, out went my beloved art and creative subjects in favour of what I thought I should choose.
I did what was expected of me and chose sciences and languages. What followed was endless boredom because these subjects and the equally uninspired teachers did not feed my soul.
The freedom I craved was missing – the freedom to express my creativity and be me.
As life went by and my confidence in me grew, I learned from the choices and mistakes I made and what my values were. There were things that rankled me and actions from other people that drove me insane. When I didn’t flow with them naturally, I made more ‘mistakes’ and ‘learned many more lessons’, because I was living in conflict with my values.
After much soul searching, a bit of heartache I can, hand on heart say that I am living by my values. My heart swells with the love and gratitude I feel for the life I have.
If you are struggling with where you find yourself and the compromises you are making, then chances are your life does not align with your values. Sometimes that happens, we get out of whack. There is no time like the present to get back to basics and make sure your start living by your values.
How to discover your values?
Start with your heart
When you live your life in accordance with your values, everything will flow.
Start with your heart. Put your hands on your heart and take your attention to your heart space. Breathe.
Ask, what are my values and am I living my life according to my values?
Wait. Listen. Whatever pops into your head is your answer. Scribble it in your journal.
There are lots of ways to get to your values. I would like to invite you to try a values wall. If you love brainstorming, you will love this.
What you need is for your values wall is:
- A wall… or a roll of brown paper and a kitchen table
- Post-it notes
- Anything else that inspires you that can be stuck to the wall (get blue tack)
- Coloured pens
- Your imagination
- An open heart
Here’s what to do:-
- Start noticing things: As you go about your day to day life, notice what you enjoy doing, the conversations you have, the way you feel about certain things or people
- Make notes in your journal
- Scribble put pictures and ‘things’ on your values wall
- Keep putting stuff on the wall until it feels complete
- In seven days do a wall review
- Group like things together
- Decide on one ‘value’ word for each group
- Start to brainstorm what each of those values means to you
Time to get writing about your values
- Open up your journal and on a new page for each write up what each of them means to you
- Add in why each of these is a value
- What do each of these values mean to various parts of your life
- Leave for some reflection time
- Ask how you will live your life according to your values?
- What one thing can you do right now to live according to your values?
Adventure as a value
One of my values is adventure. When I walk my dogs I love to wander and discover new paths, plants, smells, sights and sounds. This relates back to my life. When I work with clients I adore the adventure aspect of helping them to discover for example – the right book. I love finding new ways to do things and to help others do things. When I cook, I like to have a bit of an adventure with recipes and ingredients.
However, I do not want to adventure around the world, more that I go on inward adventures every day.
Pretty much everything I do revolves around adventure.
Sometimes the most obvious things elude us because we simply do not notice. My invitation to you today is to go on an ‘adventure’ with you, to notice what you notice and to make a values wall.
Please do share what your values are and how you found this exercise.
Are you ready to adventure with yourself? Join me in The Journaling Club, where each month you will get to explore different aspects of yourself. You’ll get to know yourself better and know what you want.
101 days of being me
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