Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Explore Your Purpose - Dale Darley
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Explore Your Purpose

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Explore Your Purpose

Over the last few weeks, I have been feeling restricted and limited. I know why. My oldest dog – Ferdy – was getting weaker and thinner, and I knew that I would have to say goodbye soon. I had been determined he would go in his sleep because I knew that I didn’t want to take him to the vet. And I can tell you, stepping out of my little ‘perfect world’ bubble was not comfortable.

Ferdy Dog – King of our house

Now I am not likening losing a beloved animal with being in or out of a comfort zone, more that sometimes we have to do things that are right for all concerned – no matter how uncomfortable it can seem for us personally.

There have been many times when I have pushed myself beyond what I thought I could do. When I reflect back I can see that I am not a feel the fear and do it anyway kind of person, I am more of a let’s just get this thing done person.

Until I was, like many, in lockdown and what followed, I hadn’t really thought about how predictable life had become. Yes, I live in a remote place. No, there is not really anywhere I want to go to. Yes, I am content. No, I don’t yearn for many material things. There was one thing I wanted which was to go and visit my friends across the water for my birthday, and that is not to be. How foolish it seemed to get on a plane and have to spend the time I had available to see people in isolation – I can do that at home.

But what did come up for me was my business. Some of the things I was doing left me feeling unfulfilled, but I had been afraid to change. I knew what I was doing, and so I argued why change?

I was asked recently by my coach, what are you worst at? Starting, changing or stopping? It didn’t take me long to know the answer – stopping. I have found it hard to stop and for a multitude of reasons. I guess it’s a bit like hoarding – you just don’t want to let things go.

What about you? Do you feel like your life has become predictable? Is it unfulfilling and boring? Are you ready to pursue your purpose? Or follow a long-held passion? Is your vision calling you?

Deciding you need to make a change means you need to revise your current way of life. Perhaps do a bit of a declutter. Start in the kitchen and throw all of your out of date food away and donate what you will never eat to the food bank. This could make way for a healthier lifestyle. Er, yes I have shocked myself with what I had stuffed in my cupboards.

I looked at what I was doing in my business and drawing in a deep breath, did a massive declutter of my online courses. I updated some and some I chucked in the bin! I looked at a book I was writing and asked is this the direction I want to take this?

Mostly I thought about the things I desired from my heart and asked if I was fulfiling my purpose?

Somehow I had followed a path that said this should be what I did, rather than connect to my heart and ask for the truth.

What was wonderful in that deep discarding and searching for clues was that I did find answers that were so obvious that they were obvious.

We build layers around our comfort zone, and it becomes like a little next for us to hibernate in. I may have my moon in cancer, but that is no excuse.

What you will also now know about me now is that when I make a decision, I just get on with it. Ok, I’ll admit that there were parts of my business that I have wanted to dump for about four years. But it felt like I had decided overnight…

Getting out of your rut or cosy nest

Whatever type of change you are making (or proposing), there are some simple things you can do to get out of your rut and begin living your purpose.

●       Figure out what makes you happy. Ok – this can be easier said than done. But ask yourself, what lifts your spirits or makes your heart sing? Is it being in nature or playing sports or music? Is it reading or creating art? Maybe you love helping people. Make a list and take action on it to bring more joy into your life and start taking steps to live your life purpose. I recently discovered the joy of online art classes. Falling into my creativity on a Saturday morning is bliss. Creativity forms part of my purpose.

●       Begin saying yes to the things you want to do but are afraid of. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new or challenging. Be open to new experiences that make you feel good. Saying YES is a powerful way to connect to a more abundant life. I encourage my clients to say yes more often.

 ●       Get rid of the clutter. Too much stuff holds you back. Clutter isn’t just the junk in the kitchen cupboard. Limiting beliefs, spending mindless hours scrolling social media or watching television, and bad lifestyle habits are all forms of clutter. Only last night, I challenged my group to declutter their kitchens – this makes way for a healthy lifestyle.

 ●       Make a list of things you want or need to stop doing. Practice saying no to what doesn’t bring you joy that you can control. Eliminate the energy-draining tasks that aren’t necessary. It’s also saying no as a complete sentence. Practice that today, just say no.

 ●       Say No to fear. Fear stops you from taking risks. When you don’t take risks, you don’t step into living your life with purpose. Notice when you are letting fear guide you and set your foot down on it. A great thing to do with fear is to spell out the words in the moment you feel it rising. Take each letter, make a new word and then create a new story. F-fabulous, E- endearing, A-agreeable, R-reality.

Commit to taking control of your life and leaping into one that fulfils your purpose with joy.

One way to do this is to imagine that you are in a field with a perceived boundary. It appears that there is no way out. But, take a breath and look again. Picture a portal in front of you – I call this the Venus Gateway. A portal which sits in your heart and which through you can adventure.

Walk up to and step up to the portal (fans of Stargate – imagine that), there are just three steps. Take another breath, take the three steps down the other side. You are now in the field of possibilities.

Look around and let your imagination flow. There are no boundaries, no fluffy toys or cuddle blankets – just opportunities and possibilities.

What do you learn, and what can you bring back to implement?

Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from changing and growing

You know that, right? It holds you back from going after what you want while enjoying the experiences of life. You miss out on the opportunities that will stretch you and give you strength. We are here in this human guise to experience life – so let’s do that.

When you want a life with purpose and meaning your comfort zone keeps you from advancing your business, career, going for your goals, and reaching for you’re the possibilities that make life worthwhile. It keeps you from pursuing what brings you joy.

Stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary. Yikes, is that what it looks like on the other side, you may be pondering? But it is where you will find the excitement and joy of the life you desire. If it’s too scary to jump completely into your purpose, take small steps – chunk it down, baby!

Staying in your comfort zone robs you of growth – even painful growth. It keeps you from changing, being and becoming who you are meant to be. It keeps you from stepping up to the stage (Thank you Wembley) and letting the world hear what you have to offer.

Living in your comfort zone robs you of new experiences that make your life worth living. It steals your right to live a fulfilling and enriching life.

Are you stuck in your comfort zone?

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” – Yoda

Ok, these times are odd, and we know that your comfort zone is a space you create around yourself where you feel safe. But, you can become trapped in this space and not even realize it because you have become accustomed to the way you do things and how you are living.

Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from realizing you are denying yourself of the possibility of living a fulfilling, purposeful life and playing in the field of possibilities.

Five signs you are stuck in your comfort zone

1.     You aren’t motivated to start any new projects or make plans for something new. Aka losing your mojo.

2.     You have a fear of taking risks, missing out on good opportunities. You don’t have to take silly, big risks – try a little baby one right now… Perhaps go for the orange lipstick instead of beige – guys too 🙂

3.     You’ve done things the same way for years. You have the same routine you do for everything. Today, keep taking the left instead of right or straight on – who knows where you will end up…

4.     You fight against new ideas. Especially ones that don’t fit into your current routine or ideals.

5.     You aren’t learning new things that will actually make a difference in your life.

What would you add to your list – given that you know yourself so well? My invitation is to take each one and to turn it into a question. E.g. You fight against new ideas, can become, who would I be if I embraced new ideas? You can then go onto do an ideas storm for where you want to go next. Perhaps this will lead to your brilliant vision?

Exploring your purpose

It’s impossible to know your purpose without some level of self-reflection. To reveal your purpose, asking the right questions will help you get the results you seek. Reflect on the answers when you ask yourself these questions. Keep an open mind, and you will emerge with an open heart.

 Your first step in the new chapter in the book of your life is instead of thinking about what defined you before, consider who you are now and who you want to become.

 Here are some questions for your journal

  • How would you spend your time if you only had one year to live? When we have a deadline, we are more likely to focus on the important stuff and let everything else go. Be aware of what comes to mind. These are the things worthy of consideration. Could you spend your life engaged in these interests?
  •  How do you want to be remembered by others? Your children, friends, family and your community (tribe) remember you? Consciously think about how you’d like others to remember you and put a plan together to live your life that way. This is what having a living vision board gives you.
  • What did you love doing as a child? What did you spend hours doing as a child that you no longer do? As young children, we aren’t concerned about what others think, and we’re clear on what we like and don’t like. I was often lost in my imagination, creating stories and following my intuition. It’s no surprise that what came out of my me audit was writing novels.

We do things because we like them until we become teenagers and social pressure with the need to impress others steers us away from what we love to do. Adulthood finds us concerned with the practicality of our choices. We just lose sight of what we want doing what others say we should…

  • What level of discomfort can you handle? Everything has an uncomfortable, boring, rough, or awful side at some point. Your life purpose will be no different. Rejection is just a part of the journey. How will you deal with it?
  • Who inspires you now? Think about the people that you respect and admire. What about them inspires you? Could you incorporate them into your own life in some way?

This last question is the one that I love the most. My role is to inspire my clients to become the inspiration that they seek.

“If you want more hope for your future, go help someone else and have more hope for their future.”  Germany Kent

I believe that we are at a point in humanity where we all have to step up and be good role models – to inspire others to be and become.

It’s like a set of dominos. If I can inspire you to create that thing that is dear to your heart and very existence – then you will, if you take action, inspire someone else.

Where next?

All of this contemplating will hopefully move you out of your comfort zone into the field of possibilities and got you thinking, mmm, where next?

When there is purpose in your life, you have a driving need to follow certain goals, to live a specific way and to not be wandering each day aimlessly without a particular direction. Purpose keeps you motivated to continue working on your goals, even when the task is difficult, or you face obstacles. It gives your life meaning, brings more joy into everything you do and gives a brighter outlook for your future.

 People who have a purpose in life tend to enjoy life (and are healthier) more than those who do not have a clear life purpose. They know what they want and go after it. They have a clear idea of what they want from life and a definite plan for how to achieve a fulfilling and joyful life.

  • Ask yourself questions that require you to look deep into what you want. Hopefully, you have already done that with the questions above.
  • Connect to your heart and ask it to guide you.
  • Meditate and listen to your heart’s desires.
  • Dig deep in your journal and then reflect. It’s in the reflection that the aha’s come.

Self-reflection and knowing your inner self are required in order to find your life purpose. Ask yourself the necessary, tough questions and listen to the answers. Listen to the whispers of your soul.

Take time to find your life purpose. It takes work and can be eye-opening. However, when you do find your purpose, you become focused on living your life to meet that purpose.

Once you have a good idea of life purpose, the next step is to determine how to incorporate the knowledge into your life. Wishes and ideas are the easy part; it’s the implementation that is challenging.

Just so you know, my purpose is to inspire others to create something of meaning so that they can become an inspiration to others.

My vision is of a world where each of us inspires someone else in some way to be who we are meant to be.

My mission is to create a community with inspiring people from all walks of life, who do one thing each day to make them feel proud.

Call me idealistic, but I believe that each of us has the capacity for great love and we have enough of this love energy to share a bit of it each day so that our fellow humans can connect in commUNITY with us to inspire others to be their best selves.

It just takes a little step outside of our rigid comforting areas into this vast expanse field of possibilities and do the things that are fulfilling, purposeful and full of meaning.

Do I always feel warm and fuzzy about life? Of course not? I have my moments when I could smack someone in the face for being a [insert swear word of your choice]. But as my dear mum says – I am only human – it’s allowed.

And as the beautiful Heather Small sings – what have you done today to make you feel proud?

Perhaps you feel inspired and ready to rock? Come and join me…

EN:VISION is a live boot camp (and online course – self-paced) which enables you to design a vision based on insight and clarity so that your living vision board delivers results not only when you create it, but for years to come.

EN:VISION has three parts which are design, create and action and seven steps:

  • Insight
  • Clarity
  • Create
  • EN:VISION in the field of possibilities
  • Focus
  • Action
  • Feedback

This ensures that before you start, you are CLEAR and ready to DESIGN the life and business you desire. When you CREATE, you will have all of your keywords, images, affirmations and power statements ready. EN:VISION is all about enabling your vision. Finally, you will know how to FOCUS your energy, what aligned ACTION to take and how to use FEEDBACK.

In case you are wondering EN:VISION stands for enabling visions.

Dale Darley

Personal Brand Strategist and Author. I want to inspire people to get connected to their hearts, know and do what they love. For those people to become an inspiration and show others what is possible in the world. Mum to three dogs and a family of swallows. Life without cake is a life unlived.

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