We all have a purpose and a reason for being. It’s just that sometimes it feels stuck, like that pesky chewy sweet that attaches itself to your teeth. You know you shouldn’t have popped it in, but, it was oh so tempting.
Being stuck and not facing what is calling you is a tough place to be.
Facebook did its thing again this morning and there was a post about my beautiful Ferdy Dog, now in the heavenly place. That boy brings me to tears every time I see him. He had an incredible purpose. Apart from treats, tickles and walks, he loved me when I felt alone and trapped in a dreadful relationship.
The good news was that he, Marley Moo and I escaped to another country and set about creating a new life. But life sometimes has other ideas and all did not go smoothly.
During the time when my spine fractured. Ferdy badly broke his leg. What I wondered was that all about? I applied all of my natural healing process that I was using on me for him and soon he was back to his old arthritic self.
The hardest thing that I have ever had to do that really pushed me out of my comfort zone was having to say goodbye. I had been determined he would go in his sleep because I knew that I didn’t want to take him to the vet. And I can tell you, stepping out of my little ‘perfect world’ bubble was not comfortable.
Now I am not likening losing a beloved animal to being in or out of a comfort zone that pushes you towards your purpose, more that sometimes we have to do things – no matter how uncomfortable it can seem for us personally.
There have been many times when I have pushed myself beyond what I thought I could do. When I reflect back I can see that I am not a feel the fear and do it anyway kind of person, I am more of a let’s just get this thing done person.
Until I was, like many, in lockdown and what followed, I hadn’t really thought about how predictable life had become. Yes, I live in a remote place. No, there is not really anywhere I want to go. Yes, I am content and have inner peace. No, I don’t yearn for many material things. Except I am having a super dooper new log burner installed soon – that has a purpose and is essential to the cold winters here.
But what did come up for me during this time was my business. Some of the things I was doing left me feeling unfulfilled, but I had been afraid to change. I also argued why change?
I was asked recently by my coach, what are you worst at? Starting, changing or stopping? It didn’t take me long to know the answer – stopping. I have found it hard to stop for a multitude of reasons. I guess it’s a bit like hoarding – you just don’t want to let things go.
What about you? Do you feel like your life has become predictable? Is it unfulfilling and boring? Are you ready to pursue your purpose? Or follow a long-held passion? Is your vision calling you?
Deciding you need to make a change means you need to revise your current way of life. Perhaps do a bit of a declutter. Start in the kitchen and throw all of your out of date food away and donate what you will never eat to the food bank. This could make way for a healthier lifestyle. Er, yes I have shocked myself with what I had stuffed in my cupboards.
I looked at what I was doing in my business and drawing in a deep breath, did a massive declutter of my online courses. I updated some and some I chucked in the bin! I looked at a book I was writing and asked if this was the direction I want to take myself?
Mostly I thought about hearts desires and asked if I was fulfiling my purpose?
Once I’d decluttered I was able to stand in a different comfort zone and consider, where and what next.
I found answers that were so obvious that they were obvious.
We build layers around our comfort zone, and it becomes like a little nest for us to hibernate in.
Getting out of your rut or cosy nest
Whatever type of change you are making (or proposing), there are some simple things you can do to get out of your rut and begin living your purpose.
● Figure out what makes you happy. Ok – this can be easier said than done. But ask yourself, what lifts your spirits or makes your heart sing? Is it being in nature or playing sports or music? Is it reading or creating art? Maybe you love helping people. Make a list and take action on it to bring more joy into your life and start taking steps to live your life purpose. I love writing, mostly this is practical non-fiction, but recently I have been writing more of my stories for the Healing Book Project. And writing creatively makes me happy.
● Begin saying yes to the things you want to do but are afraid of. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new or challenging. Be open to new experiences that make you feel good. Saying YES is a powerful way to connect to a more abundant life. I encourage my clients to say yes more often and I said yes to writing a chapter called Healing The Father Wound. I was afraid, but so grateful for the healing I got.
● Get rid of the clutter. Too much stuff holds you back. Clutter isn’t just the junk in the kitchen cupboard. Limiting beliefs, spending mindless hours scrolling social media or watching television, and bad lifestyle habits are all forms of clutter. Writing helps me to declutter the debris from my mind.
● Make a list of things you want or need to stop doing. Practice saying no to what doesn’t bring you joy that you can control. Eliminate the energy-draining tasks that aren’t necessary. It’s also saying no as a complete sentence. Practice that today, just say no.
● Say No to fear. Fear stops you from taking risks. When you don’t take risks, you don’t step into living your life with purpose. Notice when you are letting fear guide you and set your foot down on it. A great thing to do with fear is to spell out the words at the moment you feel it rising. Take each letter, make a new word and then create a new story. F-fabulous, E- endearing, A-agreeable, R-reality.
Commit to taking control of your life and leaping into one that fulfils your purpose with joy.
One way to do this is to imagine that you are in a field with a perceived boundary. It appears that there is no way out. But, take a breath and look again. Picture a portal in front of you – I call this the Venus Gateway. A portal that sits in your heart and which through you can adventure.
Walk up to and step up to the portal (fans of Stargate – imagine that), there are just three steps. Take another breath, take the three steps down the other side. You are now in the field of possibilities.
Look around and let your imagination flow. There are no boundaries, no fluffy toys or cuddle blankets – just opportunities and possibilities.
What’s there for you when you look around?
What do you learn, and what can you bring back to implement?
Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from changing and growing
You know that, right? It holds you back from going after what you want while enjoying the experiences of life. You miss out on the opportunities that will stretch you and give you strength. We are here in this human guise to experience life and leave a legacy – so let’s do that.
When you want a life with purpose and meaning your comfort zone keeps you from advancing your business, career, going for your goals, and reaching for you’re the possibilities that make life worthwhile. It keeps you from pursuing what brings you joy.
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary. Yikes, is that what it looks like on the other side, you may be pondering? But it is where you will find the excitement and the life you desire. If it’s too scary to jump completely into your purpose, take small steps – chunk it down, baby!
Staying in your comfort zone robs you of growth – even painful growth. It keeps you from changing, being and becoming who you are meant to be. It keeps you from stepping up to the stage (Thank you Wembley) and letting the world hear what you have to offer.
Living in your comfort zone robs you of new experiences that make your life worth living. It steals your right to live a fulfilling and enriching life.
So, where and what next?
Perhaps I can tempt you to write your story and create your legacy through a co-authored book?
Check out The Healing Book Project. We help female entrepreneurs and leaders write, and publish co-authored brilliant personal development books, that impact lives, change the world and help them to leave a legacy.