February 15, 2023
February 15, 2023

The Comfort zone can be a good thing – unless you want to grow and remind yourself of the power of self-love. One of the worst things is feeling that there isn’t anything to challenge yourself with or discover what you’re capable of doing. Or that you don’t love yourself enough to even think it’s worth trying.

You may have created an invisible boundary inside your comfort zone. It’s the place of least resistance to the point where the comfort zone could be doing more harm than good.

How can you tell when you’ve stayed too long?

I had an extra long stay in my comfort zone before I was forced into taking a long time off when my spine fractured. I think I had focused so long on healing my bones and other ailments that I simply wanted to stay there and heal more things.

Honestly, I’d lost some of my confidence and identity and was scared of being in a different reality. Perhaps this resonates with you too?

However, I knew that it was self-love that made me take time out to heal and let’s face it, I couldn’t do much other than focus on healing as I was in a world of pain.

And as much as this article is for you to ponder, I also wrote it to remind me to refocus on self-love and reflect on what I want.

What Is The Comfort Zone?

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsch

It certainly does, if we are willing to explore. As this quote suggests, growth and new experiences are often found outside of our comfort zones. While staying within our familiar routines and environments may feel safe and comfortable, it may also limit our potential for personal growth, learning, and fulfilment.

To truly live life to its fullest, we must be willing to step out of our comfort zones and take risks, even if it feels scary or uncomfortable at first. By doing so, we can expand our horizons, discover new passions and talents, and build resilience and confidence.

Enter self-love as a foundation to build upon.

Being in your comfort zone means knowing where you stand, what is expected of you, and how to accomplish your tasks. There are no imminent threats or unexpected challenges on the horizon, making it a place of ease and familiarity.

That’s where I was with my healing – almost every day was the same.

If you become too comfortable in your luxury comfort zone, you may lose interest and become stagnant. Conversely, if there are too many challenges, you could become overwhelmed and panicked, leading to a stall in progress.

I eventually lost my healing mojo and became stagnant and needed a new challenge. You, as I did may need to recalibrate and then move forward. And the parameters of anyone’s comfort zone are not fixed and will be different to mine.

Moving out of your comfort zone doesn’t have to mean completely abandoning what you know and love. It’s about finding a balance between staying comfortable and challenging yourself to grow and learn. With practice, you can become more comfortable with the uncomfortable and discover new possibilities for your life.

What I Learned About Comfort Zones And Self-Love

I’ve learned many things, but these are the ones I want to share today.

Without Risks, You Won’t Discover Who You Are

You will often discover who you are when you take on challenges and learn to overcome them. However, by not taking risks, you will never discover your true self and what you are capable of. And if you don’t take the time to step back into exploring self-love, you will never know how much more there is to embrace. It’s not a one-time process.

You can do it in baby steps. Pushing through your invisible boundaries in chunks could work for you.

This is what worked for me, taking baby steps to remind myself why I loved myself and what I could achieve if I took one brave step back into the world.

The Comfort Zone Holds You Back

The comfort zone doesn’t help you move forward in your life, business, or career. Yes, you may feel some passion or a sense of purpose, but something will be missing. Ask yourself what is missing and why?

Back then, I thought that supporting other women to heal osteoporosis was my purpose. I even wrote a book. However, the reality was this was just a focus for this healing period, and while it may seem innovative, it held me back. I didn’t love it and it didn’t bring me much joy.

You may find that you are only reacting reactively to challenges rather than getting out, exploring new paths to success, and facing your future on your own terms.

Even worse? If you stay too long in your comfort zone, it’ll shrink until you find yourself doing less and less. How? Things on the border between being comfortable and uncomfortable will eventually become comfortable, even self-love…

A comfort zone can become a small place to live in time.

If you stay too long in one comfort zone, you’ll never discover all the opportunities waiting for you. What if you miss out by not embracing the power of self-love and stepping into your heart’s desires? Imagine where you could be next! Or who you could become.

For Your Journal

Looking at this list, which things resonate? Why is that, and what is holding you back?

  • Life feels boring or even stagnant
  • You’re not applying what you’ve learned
  • You’re dreaming but not doing
  • You’ve been on a break for a really long time
  • You feel lost
  • You are scared to take even a tiny risk
  • You’re being held back
  • You struggle with self-love, self-worth and confidence

If you are struggling to move forward or procrastinate in any way, this is because it potentially sits in your comfort zone, and the ideas you have for what you want do not inspire you or bring you joy. Perhaps you are bored? Perhaps you need to take some time out and focus on your needs.

How Do You Get Out Of It?

Come back into your heart and ask what you truly desire from life. Then sit with it, journal on it, meditate, walk and generally give yourself time to hear the whispers of your heart.

Spend some time in your creative space. Stop, be open and explore.

What Is It I Want Instead?

It can be hard can’t it, deciding what you want. I mean really want. The answer here is the change you want to create for yourself. I found that when I went back into the zone of self-love and took time for myself to reflect, I felt more confident in claiming the things I wanted instead because I felt I was worth it.

Ask yourself what you will look like in 101 days, 12 months or five years if you get out of your comfort zone and into your heart. Take time to picture your life and imagine every detail you can. Oh, and take some action… Action helps.

Ask How It Will Feel To Be In Your Zone Of Self-Love?

  • This is where you know who you are and what you want – your hearts desires
  • It brings you joy, inner peace and contentment
  • You are in the flow, exploring and experimenting with life
  • People can see you enjoying life
  • You feel inspired and excited about what is next
  • You feel fulfilled
  • You are kind and compassionate towards yourself
  • You challenge your comfort zone from a place of love so that you don’t stagnate

You’re Dreaming but Not Doing

It’s fun to plan and make lists, blueprints, and goals for everything you want to do with your life, but this kind of planning does no good if you never take action to reach those goals. I cringe when I read that. I love a good planning session and coming up with a million creative ideas. You’ve been in the comfort zone too long if you’re all ideas and no action. At some point, you absolutely have to get out and do it.

Beware the barrenness of a busy life. – Socrates

However, it makes sense to decide what it is that you really desire for your life first. It’s no good being a busy fool. That will put you back into fear, doubt and uncertainty quicker than Marley Moo can gobble a treat.

I’ve been there, done that and have lots of T-shirts. Perhaps you have too. I don’t consider it a failure, though each time my heart hurt, it was all part of the learning plan I signed up for in the soul place.

How Can Self-Love Help You?

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. – Lucille Ball

Self-love is often associated with personal growth and well-being, but its benefits can extend beyond just taking care of yourself. Self-love can play a critical role in all kinds of success.

But how often do we consider self-love a critical factor in our success and as a way to overcome perceived limitations or stuff in our head, as I like to call it? We are more likely to think about things like self-esteem, self-worth and confidence.

However, self-love is a powerful tool that can help you overcome limitations and unlock your potential for getting what you want and becoming who you want to be. When you practice self-love, you cultivate a deep sense of respect, acceptance, and kindness towards yourself. You put in boundaries and let go of what you don’t need. This can create a ripple effect that transforms the way you think, feel, and act in every area of your life. It has for me.

Ways That Self-Love Can Help

Self-love helps you to identify and challenge limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts that can keep you from achieving your goals and dreams. When you practice self-love, you become more aware of these beliefs and can challenge them with compassion and kindness. This helps you to reframe your mindset and develop a more positive and empowering belief system that supports your personal growth.

Journal Prompts

Don’t want to read all of the journal prompts? Download them here.

  • What negative self-talk do you often engage in? Write it down and challenge its validity. You can reframe things like I am useless to today it’s been a bit of a challenge, but normally I am super organised
  • What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back from owning your heart’s desires? How can you reframe those beliefs in a positive way? I am inherently worthy and capable of achieving success. I may face challenges along the way, but I have the resilience and resources to overcome them and achieve my goals. Ta-dah!
  • Think of a time when you achieved something you thought was impossible. What did you learn from that experience, and how can you apply it to your current situation?
  • What are some things that make you feel good about yourself? How can you incorporate more of these things into your daily life?
  • What are some self-love practices that you can start implementing today? Write down a self-love plan and commit to following it. Do one thing daily, perhaps start with the cheesy I love you grin into the mirror first thing in the morning when you are looking particularly ravishing.
  • I am worthy of love and respect, and I choose to believe in my own worthiness.
  • I am capable of achieving my goals and dreams, and I trust in my ability to overcome stuff.
  • I am worthy of love and respect, and I choose to believe in my own worthiness. Self-love starts with acknowledging your worth as a human being. Repeat this affirmation to yourself when you’re feeling low or when negative self-talk is creeping in. Believe in your inherent worth and remind yourself that you deserve love and respect, just like anyone else.

Self-Love Helps You To Prioritise Your Well-Being

Self-love means taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. Self-care is king. I know when I don’t take time out, I burn out, which is no fun! However, when you prioritise your well-being, you have the energy and resilience to pursue what you want and who you want to become. You also set an example for others, inspiring them to prioritise their well-being and personal growth.

Journal Prompts
  • What are some self-care practices that you enjoy? How can you incorporate more of them into your daily routine to prioritise your well-being? I love walking my dogs, so much so that they know when I need 6 extra walks a day…
  • I love this one. When was the last time you said no to something that did not align with your values or goals? How did it make you feel? How can you continue to set healthy boundaries to prioritise your well-being?
  • Reflect on a time when you felt overwhelmed or burnt out. What caused those feelings, and how can you prevent them from happening in the future?
  • What limiting beliefs or negative self-talk hold you back from prioritising your well-being? How can you reframe these thoughts to cultivate more self-love and self-care?
  • Think about someone you admire who prioritises their well-being. What practices or habits do they have that you can learn from or incorporate into your own life?
  • I prioritise my well-being, and my mind and body thank me for it.
  • I deserve love, care, and rest, and I give myself permission to prioritise my well-being.

Self-Love Helps You To Set Healthy Boundaries

Self-love means valuing your own needs and setting boundaries that honour them. This can help you avoid burnout, resentment, and overwhelm, limiting your personal growth. When you set healthy boundaries, you also create space for positive relationships and opportunities that support your growth.

Ok. This is a big one for me and a hard lesson I had to learn. It’s important to say YES to you and NO to what you don’t want. And you do not need to justify either. I know that this is easier said than done, but practice holding assertive conversations in your journal and then in the mirror.

Did I ever tell you about the time I picked up my very drunk now ex-husband who told his mates I would drive them all home? I was studying for my MBA and this was a definite NO.

Journal Prompts
  • What does a healthy boundary look like to you? What does it feel like when you have healthy boundaries in place?
  • Reflect on a time when someone overstepped your boundaries. How did that experience make you feel, and what did you learn from it?
  • What are some specific areas of your life where you feel you could benefit from setting or strengthening boundaries (e.g. work, relationships, self-care, etc.)? What specific actions can you take to establish healthier boundaries in these areas?
  • What fears or concerns do you have about setting boundaries? How can you address or overcome these fears?
  • What can you do to reinforce your boundaries and protect your personal space and well-being when others challenge or disregard them?
  • I honour my needs and set healthy boundaries that support my physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
  • I trust that setting and maintaining healthy boundaries empowers me to live a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Self-Love Helps You To Embrace Your Strengths

Self-love means accepting yourself as you are and embracing your strengths. When you embrace your true self, you can let go of self-doubt and comparison. Comparisonitis is so harmful.

Identify your strengths and talents, and use them to your advantage. Focusing on your strengths makes you more likely to achieve success and fulfilment. Have you tried the Clifton Strengths Finder? Doing the CSF certainly helped me to build confidence in my abilities.

I know you are dying to know mine…

  1. Strategic
  2. Maximizer
  3. Relator
  4. Ideation
  5. Connectedness

Focusing on your strengths can lead to greater satisfaction and enjoyment in your personal and professional life. When you do what you do best, you are more likely to feel fulfilled and satisfied with your life.

Journal Prompts
  • What are your top three strengths, and how have you demonstrated them?
  • When do you feel the most confident and self-assured? What strengths do you use during those moments?
  • Are there any strengths you possess that you haven’t fully embraced yet? Why is that?
  • How have your strengths helped you overcome challenges or obstacles in your life?
  • How can you use your strengths to positively impact others or your community?
  • I embrace my strengths and honour them every day.
  • I am worthy of love and acceptance, just as I am, with all of my unique strengths and qualities.

Self-Love Helps You To Take Risks And Pursue Your Passions

Self-love means believing in yourself and having the courage to take risks and pursue your passions. When you practice self-love, you develop a sense of self-worth and confidence that allows you to step outside your comfort zone and explore new possibilities. This can expand your personal growth in ways you never thought possible.

I’ve always wanted to write a novel, but that stuff got in the way. Coming back to the heart helped me to take the plunge.

Journal Prompts
  • What is one passion or dream you have been too afraid to pursue? What steps can you take to start pursuing it today?
  • What limiting beliefs or negative self-talk are holding you back from taking risks? How can you challenge those beliefs and replace them with more positive ones?
  • What are some things that you love about yourself? How can you cultivate more self-love and self-acceptance?
  • How can you set healthy boundaries to prioritise your well-being and pursue your passions without burning out or becoming overwhelmed?
  • What is one small risk that you can take today to move closer to your passion or dream?
  • I am worthy and deserving of pursuing my passions and taking risks to achieve my dreams.
  • I trust myself to make decisions that align with my values and passions, and I have the courage to take action towards them.

In summary

How can you move out of your comfort zone and into the zone of self-love?

Moving out of your comfort zone and into self-love can be challenging but rewarding. As well as the journal prompts, here are 10 ways to get started:

  • Challenge limiting beliefs: Identify the negative self-talk or beliefs that hold you back and replace them with more positive and empowering ones.
  • Practice self-compassion: Be kind and gentle with yourself, especially during challenging times.
  • Try new things: Explore new hobbies, experiences, and activities that stretch your comfort zone and expand your horizons.
  • Take small risks: Start with small, manageable risks that challenge you without overwhelming you.
  • Embrace vulnerability: Allow yourself to be open and vulnerable, even if it initially feels uncomfortable.
  • Set boundaries: Prioritise your well-being by setting healthy boundaries with others and yourself.
  • Focus on your strengths: Recognise your strengths and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.
  • Practice self-care: Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional health by getting enough sleep, exercise, and relaxation.
  • Surround yourself with supportive people: Seek out friends and family who encourage and uplift you, and limit time with those who drain your energy.
  • Take action: Take concrete (baby) steps towards your goals and dreams, even if they initially feel scary or uncertain. Trust in yourself and your abilities to navigate challenges and overcome obstacles.
  • Join 101 Days Of Being Me and explore who you want to be and what you want

Remember, moving out of your comfort zone and into self-love is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and effort to develop self-love and the courage to step outside your comfort zone. Be kind to yourself and celebrate your success along the way.

Download your journal prompts.

My mission is to encourage and empower you to step into the wisdom of your heart, and embrace self-love, self-worth and confidence so that you discover that all-important inner peace.