You might be looking around and feeling that most people around you have blissfully stumbled into what looks to be a great life and knows what they want.
They don’t seem to worry about plans or what’s next. Instead, they “go with the flow.” Somehow, someway, they keep finding new and exciting ways to succeed.
Possibly you are feeling a little envious?
And you know why?
It is because we work our butts off and still feel like we are going around in circles. And too often, there are people on the sidelines projecting their fears on us, which we bizarrely take on…
I think that the people who dump their darkness on you shine a light into where you need to heal and grow.
When the plan for our life goes astray, it is a gift. It may not feel like it but stick with me.
You may feel like you did the work and what was expected of you.
You have a job or career that ranges from good to ok. You’ve had some wins. But something feels like it is missing. It’s not as if you want to give up your job or business, but you know you want something else as well.
The trouble is that something else eludes you as you may be dancing to someone else’s tune. And in doing that, you feel you are constantly on the cosmic roundabout, but it could be worse.
Feeling like something is missing is normal and makes perfect sense in our busy lives. Perhaps you are waiting for a lucky break, and your fairy godmother will magic something up for you. Getting lucky is great. Who wouldn’t want to get lucky in life more often? But luck isn’t what creates success.
Success is a feeling that comes from knowing who you are, what you want and going after it. Not in a willy-nilly way, but one that is more strategic and done with more focus.
An element of success is about creating an environment where good habits become an intrinsic part of you. Forming good habits is about creating conditions for something to thrive. We are evolving, learning, and experiencing creatures.
Our life is about learning how to make the best conditions for us to experience life. When we create the best conditions on the inside, we are setting ourselves up for success. Words, like can’t and fail will no longer be in your vocabulary.
Start by stopping
Feeling positive about who you are, who you can become and knowing what you want will result in successful outcomes. Where you focus your thoughts, actions will follow, and consistent actions lead to great habits. You are continually broadcasting who you are through your actions, so it would make sense to stop and come into the creative space and think about how your want to shape your world.
If you are pushing away something that needs to be experienced, look inside and take the opportunity to be curious, explore, feel and learn.
If you have created something that’s not working, let’s start from here with an open and willing clean slate to learn from that.
The problem is that we often take our eye off the ball and forget our mission, vision and core values and how these underpin all we do.
I couldn’t sleep this morning. Finally, after trying 3 different Yoga Nidra, I gave up and submitted to the turmoil. I let the thoughts flow in so that I could make sense of them.
Six months earlier, I’d rewritten an old book to use for a project but was then sidetracked into a multi-author book. My intuition said no, but I said yes. All but one of the authors were wonderful to work with. Their stories and self-help pieces were fabulous. As a result, the book reached number one in many categories and received great reviews. I am immensely proud of the book.
But I wasn’t happy because I hadn’t followed my heart.
Stuff happened on the project that resulted in feeling taken for granted and not recognised. Then, on top of the author, that was a poor project fit; someone else took it upon themselves to dictate how I should be and kept telling me to stop being creative and not help others.
It was a difficult time because creativity and supporting others are part of who I am.
The outcome was burnout. But in the chaos and pain, I found myself contemplating how I was showing up in the world and how this affected who I was and what I was here to do or be.
I didn’t like what I saw and knew I had to get to or back to something that would ignite my creative spirit.
I stopped, let all projects go, jumped into my creative space and just was. You can do that too.
My creative spirit needed a lift, and my personal brand needed a kick up the backside. Does yours?
I was highly amused and embarrassed because I was not following my own advice!
In this space, I realised that writing to heal had lost its magic. At first, I didn’t know why because it was my brand, my identity, and it was what has helped me to transform and heal.
Review what is missing
When I reviewed what I was working on, I soon saw that it was no longer fun, and I was missing the fun. It was a massive relief to let all of this go.
What are you missing?
But then I wondered what the heck I should be doing, and that felt like a dark and dingy place. I hate should, but my soul prodded me to find what was fun and inspiring because that is how I needed to show up, and people will know who I am and what I stand for. And that’s the same for you.
As my mum says, healer heal thyself, and that’s when I knew I had to follow my own process to return to who I am at my core and what I am here to do. I can’t tell you that I found it easy, but it was necessary and worked.
What helped me to define how I would go about my rebirth was taking the time to understand my Human Design. The poor experience I mentioned earlier had me scrabbling for a very old report, which at the time made no sense. However, I kept seeing people talking about Human Design online. So with nothing to lose, I reviewed it to understand myself better.
I discovered that I am a 3/6 emotional projector. A what? Yes, indeed, I am one of them…
Human Design is a system that attempts to explain the building blocks of the self. Its method is similar to the chakra system found in Eastern philosophies, which I am fascinated by. It identifies different energy types and provides people with unique approaches to maximising their life force.
Human Design offers a framework for learning how to harness your gifts and be the best you doing what you came to do and attracting the right people.
There are thought to be four different energy types:
- and Reflectors.
Projectors are here to guide
That’s why we love to teach (and mentor). Teaching something useful to others is our driving force. Tell us to stop creating and teaching, and we will wither. We are masters at mastering systems and then showing others how to use them. So we tend to be very focused on one person or thing. A project person.
Projectors are here to see and focus on others, not themselves. Again, this makes us great guides and inspirers.
My skills include doing things by trial and error and experiencing them so that I can teach others an easier process. Another is seeing things in patterns and pictures and knowing how to put things together for others so that they know what to do.
Projectors can see the big picture, recognise the talents and gifts of others, and bring people together.
We are here for being and not doing, which means we wait to be noticed, and others invite us in. Waiting to be noticed is about building a completely authentic brand.
That also means it is important for a projector to focus on what lights you up and follow that with conviction. People will be attracted to you when you are aligned with your passion.
What is important is that you don’t wait for others to acknowledge your brilliance. Instead, get connected to your core essence and what inspires you. Believe in yourself and your message, and you can and will build a personal brand that you can be proud of.
Every type has a signature, and success is the signature of a projector. This is not how others perceive us, although it is fab to be seen as successful. This is more about our definition of success.
Success is a feeling I get when I have inspired and supported others to achieve something important to them. Success also means doing things my way and not compromising my values, time or energy resources.
What stops our success is listening to others tell us how to be and allowing others to condition us to their way of thinking.
The best way to discover what you are is to head to https://www.mybodygraph.com/free-bodygraph.
DISCLAIMER: I am not a Human Design expert, but someone who has used it to support my journey and personal evolution.
Having gotten used to the idea of being a projector and discovering that I am perfectly normal, I started to own what brought me joy and disregarded others’ shoulds.
My passion and what brings me purpose and meaning are creating content. I love to create content, write blogs and books and create courses. I also love knitting and will make dog coats this winter for our local charities.
I discovered that working on smaller passion projects gives me energy, so I needed to stop working on big books and focus on little book projects.
If this resonates and you want to brainstorm your creative ideas, or little book ideas, connect with me.