I was pondering the order of the chapters of a book I am writing about dogs, and it struck me that trust had to come first.
A dog has to learn to trust you before it will love you, just like a human. And just like humans, that trust can be so easily broken.
But the biggest thing I have learned about trust is when I haven’t trusted myself or my decisions. It’s when I haven’t listened to my inner voice and done what I thought I should do.
Trust is foundational because without trust, how do we build, for example, our confidence and self-love or learn to trust our hearts again?
Trust requires courage.
I remember, as a child, I believed I could fly. I trusted that this was possible, so I threw myself off the top of the stairs. Luckily my dad, who knew better, just happened to be standing at the bottom of the stairs and caught me. My days of flying in that way were over.
But it never stopped me trying things out, getting hurt, learning from the experience and getting on with life.
There have been many times that my trust has been broken, from the odd gossipy friend, employers who lied (no, of course, there won’t be any redundancies…), to a husband living a double life. What I learn from these things is that people will break your trust, and it’s part of life. But you have to be willing to risk it happening again. Otherwise, you will live a fearful and isolated life.
Fear turns to stress and turns to anxiety.
That is not to say you need to rush in and get hurt again because we learn, don’t we? And from the learning, we grow stronger in our ability to listen to and trust our intuition and make better conscious choices.
Let’s explore trust
Self-trust is the foundation of your relationship with yourself. Self-trust means staying true to yourself and listening to your inner voice as it connects and bonds with your heart to guide you to look after your needs.
Learning to listen to your inner self and what you need is a crucial step in getting what you want and living a life you enjoy.
Trusting means that you learn to count on yourself for making the best choices you can, given the circumstances and information you have at the time. This trust means that you will have more control over managing whatever comes your way.
One of the first steps is to listen to your gut. Think of your values. If something crosses them and doesn’t feel right, that’s because your gut is trying to tell you something. The more you listen and learn to trust yourself, the more your instincts will kick in.
Trust is vital in all relationships. Even if someone has hurt you, this is not because you failed or made a mistake; this is down to them and their behaviour. The key is to stay away from people who consistently let you down. Create good boundaries and surround yourself with people who believe in you and are supportive of you.
Think about how you feel about trust, trusting yourself and trusting others. What comes up as you think about each of these three aspects of trust? What do you learn, and how can you learn to trust yourself more and listen to your inner voice so that you can live a more fulfilled life?
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