The journey of self-love, self-worth, and confidence can help you cultivate a deep and lasting inner peace that stays with you despite life’s challenges and uncertainties.
It is a journey that requires patience, determination, and a willingness to explore the depths of your soul. Self-love, self-worth, and confidence are intertwined; developing each leads to a more fulfilling life. One where you do something that you love.
At the start of this journey, it is important to acknowledge that you are worthy of love and respect. This can be challenging, particularly if you have experienced trauma, emotional abuse, or a lack of love and validation. However, overcoming these obstacles and cultivating a sense of self-worth independent of external factors is possible.
I needed a massive kick up the bum via a big wake-up call to start thinking about loving myself. However, as I developed more self-love, self-worth, and confidence, I became more resilient in facing life’s challenges and found inner peace.
Like me, you can, instead of being overwhelmed by difficult situations, approach them with a sense of inner peace, resilience and strength. This can help you to maintain your focus, stay positive, and continue moving forward, even when things get tough. And laughing at adversity once the swearing and tears are over is also helpful.
What is this thing – inner peace?
Inner peace is a state of being and not doing. We don’t travel there physically, although I believe we do mentally, emotionally and in our hearts. It’s more that when we practice things like contemplation, meditation, musing, stillness, kindness, compassion, gratitude, letting go, walking in nature and journaling, we find and maintain inner peace.
When we stop fretting about the future and dwelling in the past, we can find a place of peace. And yes, I get that we are living in strange times, and we really cannot predict what will happen next. We can, however, change how we feel about our past experiences.
Many of us know Bronnie Wares’ research and book about the regrets of the dying. Recently I discovered a new name Dr Karl Pillemer who, among other things, has researched ageing and regrets. And guess what one of the regrets is? I wish I had worried less.
This leads me to say that inner peace is about acceptance of the moment we find ourselves in. So take a moment to appreciate where you are.
Inner peace brings a level of freedom. Of course, you will feel stressed or anxious about things, but hopefully less so than someone who cannot or has not experienced inner peace.
Now more than ever, we need to remember that searching for inner peace is futile. This practice takes time and a desire to turn away from the outer world and come inside, where a rich abundance of stillness awaits you.
Inner peace is like your well of in-tuition. It sits deep within you. It can be a natural state of being if you choose to let yourself experience it.
Inner peace comes when you choose how you want to be and let go of what does not serve you. If you can find a way to accept who you are and love yourself and all of your foibles, you will waste less time worrying about what you cannot control and enjoy more of the present moment. All you have to remember is that the teacher is in you.
Do what you love
I think that when we stop, let go in whatever way works for you and enjoy those moments of inner peace, we can discover what we love – our heart’s desires. So when I switched off my monkey mind, I knew I had to write a novel, and now Moving In is moving along. It’s been a long time coming. I love writing, and this is a way to creatively express myself.
What you want might be bigger than a novel. You may want to discover your soul’s purpose and know how to pursue it. You are not alone in wondering. Many people struggle with finding their passion and purpose and living a meaningful life. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can do what you love and find inner peace by following these simple steps:
Start with self-connection
What are those things that bring you into the moment, and what do you need to let go of? Experiment and find what works for you. When you find what works, stay with it. Inner peace is always about the moments with myself.
Learn to love yourself, own your worth and build self-confidence
Start by recognising that you are worthy of love and respect simply because you exist. You don’t need to earn it or prove it to anyone. Start by accepting and embracing your flaws and imperfections as a unique part of who you are. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love and accept yourself daily.
Practice kindness and self-compassion. Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend. Be kind and patient with yourself, especially when you make mistakes. And when you do make mistakes, because we all do, watch that self-talk stuff – those horrible words can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ok, there’s a lot more to this self-love, self-worth and confidence malarky, but start, as I said, by being a good friend to yourself.
Identify your values and interests
What are the things that matter most to you in life? What are your values and why? What are the things that bring you joy and satisfaction? Write them down and rank them in order of importance. This will help you clarify your priorities and goals. You do have goals, don’t you… They are in the drawer, which reminds me I must write mine on my whiteboard.
Explore your options and opportunities
Once you have a list of your values and interests, look for ways to incorporate them into your daily life. Be curious, explore and experiment. You can do this by taking online courses, joining clubs or groups, volunteering, reading books, watching videos, or anything else that sparks your curiosity and creativity. I will confess I once went mad and bought lots of art stuff, which my mum now has – lucky mum.
Experiment and learn
Building on the previous point, don’t be afraid to try new things, get out of your comfort zone and learn from your experiences. Does anyone want a load of mandala and dog paintings? You may discover new talents or passions that you didn’t know you had. You may also find out what you don’t like or what doesn’t work for you (yes, indeed). Either way, you will gain valuable insights and skills to help you grow and find what you love.
Commit and persist
Doing what you love is not always easy or convenient. You may face challenges, obstacles, or criticism from others or yourself. Yep, been there, and those unkind words did stop me in my tracks, but not anymore. You may also have doubts, fears, or frustrations along the way. For example, I used to sew and once was making an all-in-one, which didn’t go to plan, and in my frustration, I chopped it into many pieces. My poor mum was left picking up the pieces of her broken daughter. It was my weekend outfit, and it was ruined.
But don’t give up on your dreams. Remember why you started and how far you have come. Keep working hard and smart, and celebrate your achievements. I didn’t give up on sewing and, for many years, designed and created a lot of outfits that my dad would sigh at. In fact, the more I sewed, the more confident I became.
Enjoy and appreciate
Doing what you love is not just a means to an end. It can be a great source of happiness and fulfilment that no one can take away from you. I love the novel process and will start to write more this weekend. We have been challenged with writing the beginning and the end. So enjoy the process and appreciate the results. Be grateful for the opportunities and resources that you have, and share your gifts and talents with others.
Whatever you do, celebrate all of the steps of your journey to both inner peace and discovering what you love. My fave is so simple, cake and a cuppa and hopefully a cuddle with the doggies.
By finding inner peace, you make space for what you love which will bring inner peace. But first, you have to stop.
Here are a few other things to mull over
Let me know what resonates. Grab your journal and explore…
- Some dreams, goals and heart’s desires simply seem too big to achieve. Perhaps you think it’s too late. Try breaking what you want down into small steps or stages. I’m laughing at myself on this one. Who, me, write a novel…? List the steps and keep it simple.
- There are many people of all ages going after their heart’s desires. Many have faced decades of disappointment and unfulfilled lives. They discovered later in life that they have the resilience, experience, and self-knowledge to pursue their passion and purpose. Think Louise Hay or JK Rowling… Age is not a barrier. Start today and go after what you want. Do what you love!
- Let go of regrets. As you get older, you don’t want to be filled with regret because you didn’t try to do the things you loved or attempt to obtain what you longed to do in life. I, for one, don’t want to leave without a) writing that book and b) inspiring you to find purpose and meaning in your life. Look at your book of regrets and pick one thing that you want to let go of. Then start your next adventure today.
- Being remembered well. Following your dreams and heart’s desires and doing what you love influences the mark you leave on the world and how you will be remembered. We cannot force legacy on others, but how we live our lives will shape how we are remembered. How do you want to be remembered?
- Just take one step. Any aligned step you take towards your dream and heart’s desire gets you closer to success. Many believe it’s too late to follow their dreams because they would be taking a step backwards. In reality, the past is a place of reference, and right now is the best time to become and be. What is your next aligned step to being able to manifest your heart’s desire and do what you love?
- Ask for support. Other people will help and encourage you on your journey if you let them know that this is your way forward. Look out for those people who will support you as you become the best version of yourself. And I am sure you will make new friends along the way. Who is on your A-team?
All you need to remember is that you are never too old to go towards your heart’s desires and to do what you love. All you have to do is stop, be in the moment, then decide what you want, let your heart open and take action to go after it.
If you are ready to stop and find inner peace and what you most desire, please join me in 101 Days Of Being Me.