The Dhammapada, which is a collection of Buddha’s sayings, says, “Hatred cannot coexist with love and kindness. It dissipates when supplanted with thoughts of love and compassion.”
The loving-kindness or Metta meditation is a powerful and seemingly simple meditation that enables us to foster love, affection, appreciation and kindness towards ourselves, others and the world. With this meditation, there are no expectations, it is a process to enjoy, where you let go, let love and let flow. We start with ourselves because if we cannot love ourselves, how can we love others. I am sure that you will find it healing and calming.
The way that I use it is to focus on me first so that I reach a place of love and appreciation for me as I go about my day.
When I first started this practice, I was surprised that the husband I left after discovering his double life was easy to pass loving kindness on to. However, the long term partner before was difficult and brought some feelings of anger. I stuck at it and slowly and believe me it was slow, I eventually let go.
When it came to people that I had a difficult time with I chose to reframe. I didn’t need them in my life and go to lunch with them, but I could choose to see them through the lens of love and know that harbouring unkind feelings towards them was hurting me more.
Sending love to the world is far more manageable. Although I did feel helpless because I couldn’t stop all of the cruelty that I was witness to. What I could do was to send my love out and release it to a higher power who would know where to send it.
Read through the meditation and practice in a way that works for you, always starting with and including you.
Get ready to Metta
Find a comfortable place to sit or lie. Close your eyes. Take some deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth, with a sigh. Become aware of your body from head to toe, of your weight, and of the heaviness of your limbs. Relax. Scan your body and simply notice. Become aware of any sensations or feelings, but do not judge.
I invite you to imagine that you have roots growing from your feet into the heart of Mother Earth. See them flow all the way into the centre of the Earth where there is a pot of grounding and healing energy. Drink this energy in through your roots and into your body. You are now securely anchored into the ground. Feel yourself becoming grounded. Breathe up and into your heart. Breathe out. Do a few rounds of this.
Directed to yourself
You begin with yourself because without loving yourself, it is difficult to love others.
May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be held in loving kindness
May I accept myself as I am
May I be happy
May I know the joy of being alive
Repeat this as many times as you feel you need to
May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be well
May I know peace and be at ease
May I be happy
l you need and then move on to the next step.
Directed to someone you like/ love
When you feel you have established some stronger sense of loving-kindness for yourself, you can then expand your meditation to include others. After focusing on yourself for five or ten minutes, choose a benefactor, someone in your life who has loved and genuinely cared for you. Picture this person and carefully recite the same phrases:
May you be filled with loving-kindness
May you be held in loving kindness
May you accept yourself as you are
May you be happy
May you know the joy of being alive
Repeat this as many times as you feel you need and then move on to the next step.
After this, you can include others: Spend some time wishing well to a wider circle of friends.
Directed to the world and globally
Then gradually extend your meditation to picture and include community members, neighbours, people everywhere, animals, all beings, the whole earth.
May we be filled with loving-kindness
May we be held in loving kindness
May we accept ourselves as we are
May we be happy
May we know the joy of being alive
Repeat this as many times as you feel you need and then move on to the next step.
Directed to someone who challenges you
Finally, include the difficult people in your life, even your enemies, wishing that they too may be filled with loving-kindness and peace. This will take practice. But as your heart opens, first to loved ones and friends, you will find that in the end, you won’t want to close it anymore.
May you be filled with loving-kindness
May you be held in loving kindness
May you accept yourself as you are
May you be happy
May you know the joy of being alive
Repeat this as many times as you feel you need.
That’s it, one of the most powerful meditations I know and one which will I am sure will change your life as well.