The Art Of Acceptance - Dale Darley
The Art Of Acceptance

The Art Of Acceptance

Sometimes I find the whole concept of acceptance hard. I know when my spine fractured, I could not accept that this was my life. Nor could I accept that this was what my body looked like.

I went through psychological hell every day. I was in fear, then anger and slowly, slowly I came to accept that I could change the fact that I had fractures, but I could accept that the way to healing was by stopping the fight, laying down my sword and looking at things from another perspective.

Whenever acceptance comes knocking on my door I dig this out and boy does it calm me down.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen. Reinhold Niebuhr

Life is unpredictable. In life, stuff happens that sometimes does not make sense. But as Steve Jobs says, you can only connect the dots backwards. When you ask the question how did I get here? You will start, I am sure to make connections and see patterns in your beliefs and behaviours.

The road to acceptance

When it comes to acceptance it means that we need to make room for our experiences and choose consciously how to deal with them. Do you fight them or do you deal with them energetically and understand that in your experiences are gifts and lessons?

Acceptance is a choice

You can see the positive or you can fight what is going on. Why would you want to wander around a littered battlefield? You will discover more of your happy to be me and become more peaceful when you accept what has happened instead of constantly fighting to change things, that cannot be changed.  

There is power and peacefulness in acceptance

This is not about giving up or not taking action, rather it is knowing that pushing against a closed door will always hurt. Whereas finding ways to open the door and walk through it without resistance will deliver far greater rewards.

Acceptance is living fully present in the moment

It’s not about the past, while that is a great source of reference for peeling the onion. There will be stuff that you wish had never happened, but you know that you cannot turn back time. The past is a place of reference and not a place to dwell. Neither is it about the future because we cannot force it.

We can create visions, make decisions, and we can take action, but we already know stuff can happen to throw these visions off course. That is why it is essential to understand yourself, just a bit more…

Acceptance is one of the keys to finding your Happy To Be Me factor

Acceptance will give you longer lasting happiness or as I like to call it contentment. I am certainly happier when I shrug my shoulders, swear a bit and look at how to turn my experiences into learning points.

Acceptance helps you to stop judging yourself

It’s easy isn’t it to look in the mirror and judge? I did. The more I judged the worst that I felt. When I said ok, I cannot change fractures, but I can change what I eat, I can change my energy and perspective and I can tell my body I love her just as she is.

Acceptance is surrendering

There are some words that I feel I have a bit of a battle with and surrender is one of them. Logically I know that acceptance is about surrendering and letting go of the outcome. In other words set your intention and let it flow.

Sometimes it’s about understanding that you have invested too much in chasing something that is not for you. Accept, and let it go.

In letting go you make space for what is meant to be in your life.

When you fight for what you want, it becomes a battle. When you get stuck on how things ‘should’ manifest, you push for them to come about in the way that is not in alignment with your soul.

Have you been taught to never give up, or to soldier on or keep going the end is in sight?

What do you do or feel like when despite all of the struggle you don’t get what you want? Scream? Get ill or angry? Eat rubbish?

This is when acceptance and surrender are your best friends.

Let it go, let it flow, reframe and refocus. When you change the energy, everything changes.

Let’s look at this from a manifesting perspective

Perhaps you want to manifest a better body. It can be hard to accept what your body looks like.When my spine fractured, I hated (and I mean despised) what I looked like and could not accept it. Instead, I judged myself against others and my perception of what a beautiful body should look like.

I went through hell.

What I did, in this case, was to work on my beliefs, judgement, self-love and happy to be me factor. But let me tell you it has freaking hard.

More than anything I wanted inner peace, to be healed, healthy, and happy.

What I can accept is that I have three wedge fractures, and nothing will change their shape. What I don’t and didn’t accept was that I needed drugs to heal. The mind is powerful, and I believed I could heal, so this is the truth that I accepted.

In acceptance, I was able to drop the fight and make peace with myself. I felt the feelings, I cried, and I wanted to not be here, but I also loved the experience of seeing myself heal and getting stronger. I let go of the struggle, I surrendered and worked on what I could achieve. I made conscious decisions and choices, which are vital for manifesting.

From a manifesting perspective the Universe is listening to you all the time and if you focus on crap, that’s what you will get. But if you accept what you cannot change, surrender the outcome, change your energy and focus on what you want – a healthy healed spine – that’s what you get.

Acceptance is like art

I get very impatient when creating art. I want it done now! But the key to a better painting is to take my time, to stand back and to allow it to grow naturally.

Acceptance is like art, it takes time to create a beautiful life.

What was the purpose behind the lesson?

I believe that I was meant to rebuild the foundations of who I was. To connect with my soul and my body and learn to believe in myself and my ability to manifest.

I always say and will keep saying manifesting is who you become on the way to getting what you want.

So… Who do you want to be. What do you want? What do you have to let go of? What do you choose instead?

Try this

Think about something that has happened that you did not like very much, which you found hard to accept.

Grab your journal

  • Write about the thing that happened factually. I.e. remove all emotion
  • Consider what happened from a feeling perspective
  • What is your opinion of the event?
  • Now that it is done, what did you learn?
  • What can you accept about your part in this?
  • What will you do differently next time?

Stop headbutting a closed door and instead do as Elbow sang in One Day Like This – throw those curtains wide.

Join me for 8 weeks of Manifesting Magic – it’s a course, a program, a circle and most of all it’s a safe space to explore who you want to become on the way to getting what you want. And you will be inspired to be your best self.

Dale Darley

Writing coach, Executive Soul Coach and Author. Helping conscious, heart-led women manifest magic, discover who they are on the way to getting what they want. Additionally helping you to write an awesome book and rock your brand. Mum to three dogs and a family of swallows. Life without cake is a life unlived.

  • Cindy Fox says:

    What you’ve shared has helped so much in taking my journey even further in being ‘Happy to Be Me’. I do believe I will be reading this a few more times, writing more and would like to share this on one of my groups to help other women. I’ve been working on accepting what I can’t change and I’m even more ready to embrace this further. I have so much to say but it would take pages. Perhaps when I come back and read a few more times I will comment some more. Thank you so much for the work your doing! It truly seems God has brought me to what your sharing and not by accident.
    I’m ready to stop headbutting the door that won’t move in a lot of areas.

    • Dale Darley says:

      Thank you Cindy. Acceptance can be tough… Breathe and ask what would I choose instead. Always be kind to you. I sense you are an awesome woman. <3

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