Rebuild The Inner Bridges To Self-Love With These 3 Simple Ideas

by | Jan 29, 2025 | Reinvent Yourself

There is a battle that rages within us—one that we often don’t even realise we are fighting. It is the struggle between the chattering mind and the quiet wisdom of the heart. The mind, loud and insistent, fills our thoughts with doubts, fears, and expectations. It tells us what we should do, what is practical, and what is safe. But the heart whispers something different. It holds our true desires, the essence of who we are, and the path to self-love.

For years, I listened to the noise. I let the monkey mind dictate my choices, allowing self-doubt and limiting beliefs to control the way I saw myself and my life. The voices of fear and uncertainty drowned out the gentle call of my heart. But something changed—a shift, a wake-up moment—one that showed me I could no longer live in discord.

This is the story of that shift—the story of learning to quiet the monkey mind, bring harmony to the warring parts within, and build inner bridges to self-love. Self-love does not appear overnight. It is a journey, a conscious choice we make every day.

Perhaps you, too, have felt the weight of self-doubt. Perhaps you have struggled to trust yourself, to listen to your heart over the noise of the world. If so, then know this—you are not alone. And it is never too late to build your own bridge back to yourself.

Now, let me take you on a journey of voices, choices, and transformation. A journey where the mind and heart find their way back to harmony. A journey to self-love.

The Monkey Mind and the Bridges to Self-Love

My monkey brain chatters and spits out vile, discordant rhymes. She cackles as she tightens her grip on my heart of desires, her claws sinking into my dreams as if they are nothing more than playthings for her amusement. Delighting in grievous gossip, she holds the floor with my many parts, twisting their words into barbed criticisms. A mad conductress, flipping her baton in time to some other dance—one that is not mine. At least, not what my heart truly desires.

There was a time when she was quieter, a whisper rather than a roar. But years of feeding her doubts and fears have made her strong, and now she dominates the stage. I wonder—was she always meant to be so loud? What would happen if I starved her of fear and fed her love instead?

The many parts of me discuss and dissect me, deciding what I should be doing. They have another agenda, and it’s not the one whispered by my heart. My beautiful heart—so full of wisdom, love, and lessons to share—waits patiently, longing to be heard.

I stand my ground. Why do these parts think they can dictate how I do things? They must know that I hate to be told. Is that it? Are they revelling in their power and control over me? These parts are just that—parts—and they can be overruled. I am not just a collection of fractured voices fighting for dominance. I am whole. I can make conscious decisions. I can be a child of the Cosmos, full of wonder and light.

I can create inner bridges.

I can bring together the many squabbling animals that run riot in my brain so that we can sing one harmony. The harmony of my heart.

The cruel words that lived too long in my heart and spent a lifetime being heard are no more.

I made a choice—to unite the Monkey of doubt, frustration, and uncertainty with the Fairy of delight, that inner child who longs to bring laughter, light, and love into my heart. The fairy is a whisper beneath the chaos, a gentle tune threading its way through the cacophony. What if I let her lead the dance?

Bridging the Chasm to Self-Love

If you are anything like me, you have lived with a heart full of self-limiting beliefs and a chasm a mile wide separating you from your divine inner wisdom, faith, self-love, and trust.

Something always wakes us up, and then we have to make a choice about what we are going to do about it. Deciding often seems like the easy part once you set a process in motion. Because every day, you tell yourself: I must do these things. These will help me to heal and build a bridge over my troubled waters.

The good news? It does get easier. And the little things you do work their magic until they are simply a part of you.

Bridges don’t just appear; they take work. They need strong foundations. I build mine from golden threads of wisdom, woven together with patience and practice. I use stepping stones of past lessons, carefully laid to guide me across the divide. And once the bridge is built, it must be maintained. A neglected bridge will crumble, and I refuse to let mine fall.

Seeing Myself in Another

I hadn’t realised just how strong my bridge was until someone came to stay. Instead of writing her book, she unravelled before my eyes. I saw myself—a younger, unaware, asleep, and in pain me—and it hurt. She carried the same fears I once did, spoke with the same doubts, and hesitated in the same places where I once stood frozen.

I knew we were a gift to each other.

For me, it was confirmation—I had crossed the bridge. I had done the work. I did love myself.

For her, it was a glimpse of what was possible. Proof that she, too, could build her bridge and come to love herself.

What we both needed was courage to move forward.

Inner Bridge Building: A Journey of Small Acts

I do little things every day to remind myself that I am worthy of love. These small acts of kindness keep my inner bridges strong.

  • What about you?
  • What inner bridges need a little loving kindness and compassion?
  • What about the things you have done that could help someone else?

My dad once said to my mum, “I’ll be your bridge over troubled water.” He wasn’t. He was the troubled water. But no matter—because even she, at 86 years old, has done some deep inner bridge-building since he died.

It is never too late to start your journey to self-love.

Writing Your Story: A Mirror to the Self

What is the story that runs through your veins, keeping the many parts of you separate?

Write.

I find that connecting to my heart and allowing my muse to guide me always brings out ‘stuff’ that helps me see the bigger picture of self.

In the analysis of your story to self, what do you discover?

  • How is your story limiting you and holding you back?
  • Can you see why you may not love yourself completely?
  • What if you could immerse yourself in your desires instead of your doubts?

What would it take to embrace what you really want?

How could you build inner bridges and reunite the parts of you that feel scattered?

Inner Bridge-Building Ideas

Reconnect to Your Dreams

When you disconnect from your dreams, life can feel a bit stuck. What would your perfect day look like? Start your day with a wander into your dreams and feelseehearsmelltaste, and sense your life. Doing this takes me into a new story of self—one where I focus on what I want, and that feeds my soul.

Look in the Mirror and Smile

A smile changes how you feel like nothing else. When I take my dogs for a walk, I make a point to smile at everyone I meet. Generally, they smile back. It makes such a difference. Take the time to smile at yourself. Even if you think you look a tad bedraggled, do it. Watch your mood lift.

Speak to Yourself with Loving Kindness

Your words are etched into your body. While you may tattoo yourself with a positive affirmation, you wouldn’t dream of writing hateful words on your skin for all to see. But your body hears every thought, every criticism.

Start to notice what you say to yourself. Then, begin to change it.

What helps me is leaving little love notes on Post-its in my kitchen and bathroom. I feel fabulous when I find them (not sure how I could forget I wrote them!), and they reinforce a positive self-image. When I find a note, I say it aloud.

I also begin my day by looking in the mirror and saying something loving to myself. Whenever I catch myself about to criticise, I turn it around.

Because I am building a bridge.

And I refuse to let it crumble.

7 Journal Prompts for Building Inner Bridges to Self-Love

A Bridge Built with Kindness – List five small things you can do every day to nurture self-love. How can you turn these into a daily practice, reinforcing the bridge you are building within?

The Voice Within – What does your inner dialogue sound like? If your thoughts had voices, who would they be? Are they wise mentors, mischievous tricksters, or fearful protectors? Write a conversation between them and your heart.

The Monkey Mind vs. the Heart’s Whisper – When you quiet the noise of doubt, what does your heart truly desire? Without judgment, list everything your heart longs for, no matter how big or small.

Bridges of the Past – Think of a time when you felt disconnected from yourself. What beliefs or external influences created that distance? What small steps could you take to rebuild the bridge between who you were and who you want to be?

A Love Letter to Yourself – Write a letter from the version of you who has already crossed the bridge to self-love. What wisdom would they share? What encouragement do they have for you in this moment?

The Mirror Reflection – Stand in front of a mirror and observe yourself with kindness. What do you see beyond the physical? What words of love and compassion can you offer to the person looking back at you?

Dreaming into Being – Describe your perfect day as if you are already living it. What does it feel like? What do you see, hear, and experience? How does self-love shape this reality?

Let your journal be a mirror reflecting your true self, unfiltered and raw, capturing the essence of your journey through life.

Dale Darley
Reinvent Yourself: Embracing Change to Unlock Your True Potential

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