Rebuild the inner bridges to self-love with these 3 simple ideas

Rebuild the inner bridges to self-love with these 3 simple ideas

My monkey brain chatters and spits out vile discordant rhymes. She cackles as she tightens her grip on my heart of desires. Delighting in grievous gossip as she holds the floor with my many parts. A mad conductress flipping her baton in time to some other dance which is not mine. At least not what my heart truly desires.

The many parts of me discuss and dissect me and decide what I should be doing. They have another agenda and it’s not what is inside my heart. My beautiful heart full of wisdom, love and lessons to share.

I stand my ground. Why do these parts think that they can dictate how I do things? They must know that I hate to be told? Is that it? Are they revelling in their power and control over me? These parts are just that parts and can be overruled. I can make conscious decisions. I can be a child of the Cosmos, full of cosmic wonder. I can create inner bridges and bring together the many squabbling animals that run riot in my brain so that we can sing one harmony. The harmony of my heart.

The cruel words which lived too long in my heart and spent a lifetime being heard are no more.

I made a choice to unite the Monkey of doubt, frustration and uncertainty with the Fairy of delight – that inner child who wants to bring laughter, light and love into to my heart.

If you were anything like me you have lived with a heart full of self-limiting beliefs and a chasm a mile wide to your divine inner wisdom, faith, self-love and trust.

Something always wakes us up and then we have to make a choice about what we are going to do about it. Deciding often seems like the easy part once you set a process in motion. Because every day you tell yourself I must do these things. These will help me to heal and build a bridge over my troubled waters.

The good news is that it does get easier and the little things that you do work their magic until they are a part of you.

Hidden Content

Building inner bridges to self-love

I always wanted to be loved. I never realised that I had to start with me.

There are many parts of us (self) that sometimes feel conflicted and separate. Like a gap in the gorge, it can seem like an impossible task to create a bridge from one side to the other.

I found that until I worked (yes it was work) with these conflicted parts I really didn’t like me much.

Not that I hated myself – more that when I looked in the mirror the person looking back didn’t feel whole. It took a series of accidents which slowed me right down to enable me to learn to love myself again. When your body changes shape and you are in physical pain you have to make some choices.

Let it define who you are or build some inner bridges.

I hadn’t considered if the bridge was built until someone came to stay. Instead of writing her book, she unravelled before my eyes. I saw me, a younger, unaware, asleep and in pain me and it hurt. I knew we were a gift for each other. Me to see that I had crossed the bridge and I did love myself and for her to see that she would come to love herself. What we needed was courage to move forward.

Bridges don’t just appear, they take work and they need maintaining.

I do little things every day to let myself know that I am worth loving myself. These keep the inner bridges in a good state. What about you? What inner bridges need some loving kindness and compassion applying? What about the things that you have done which could help someone else, what are they?

My dad said to my mum ‘I’ll be your bridge over troubled water.’ He wasn’t, he was the troubled water. No matter, because she too has, despite her 77 years done some deep inner bridge building since he died. It is never too late to start your journey to self-love.

What is your story?

What is the story that runs through your veins that keep the many parts of you separate? Write. I find that connecting to my heart and allowing my muse to guide me always brings out ‘stuff’ that helps me to see the bigger picture of self.

In the analysis of your story to self

What do you discover about yourself, once you have reflected on your tale? How is your story limiting you and holding you back? Can you see why you may not love yourself completely?

Look at your story and allow yourself to be immersed in the story of the parts of you. Next ask, what if you could immerse yourself in your desires? What are these desires? What has to happen to allow you to embrace what it is you really want? How could you build inner bridges and reunite the parts of you that feel scattered?

Here are a few inner bridge building ideas

Reconnect to your dreams

When you disconnect from your dreams, life can feel a bit stuck. What would your ‘perfect’ day look like? Start your day with a wander into your dreams and feel, see, hear, smell, taste and sense of your life. Doing this takes me into a new story of self, where I get to focus on what I want, and this feeds my soul.

Look in the mirror and smile

It is well known that a smile will change how you feel like nothing else. When I take my dogs for a walk, I make a point to smile at anyone I meet. Generally, they smile back. It makes such a difference. Take the time to smile at yourself and watch your mood lift. Even if you think you look a tad bedraggled and perhaps your mood is not the greatest, do it and your day will change.

Speak to yourself with loving kindness

Start to notice how you speak to yourself. These words are etched on your body. While you may tattoo yourself with a positive affirmation, you would not dream of writing your words of hatred on you for all to see. Your body can hear your words. Notice what they are and start to change them.

What I find helps me is to keep post it notes in the kitchen and bathroom and write little love notes to me. I feel fab when I find them (not sure how I could have forgotten I wrote them) and they help reinforce a positive self-image and love. When I find the notes, I say aloud what is on them.

I also start the day by looking in the mirror and saying something loving to me. And whenever I catch myself about to criticise me, I turn it around.

Grab a copy of steps to self-love and create yourself a daily routine that bit by bit helps you to build your inner bridge to self-love.


Bridge over troubled water lyrics


101 days of being me

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Dale Darley

Strategist, Coach, writer and author. Helping you to make sense of your ideas and personal stories so that you can create simple strategic direction and design the right products and services for your business. Mum to three dogs and a family of swallows. Life without cake is a life unlived.

  • Sarah Arrow says:

    Love this Dale. How poignant that your dad saw himself as a bridge builder rather than the troubled water. I know how amazing your mum is, so I’m not surprised that she’s built her own bridges to self love. Thank you for sharing xx

    • DeeDeeAdmin says:

      Thank you, Sarah. Lots of things about love and how aspirations turn sour that are very sad.

      My mum rocks and I love her so much for her inner beauty and courage.

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