Start with Why: Finding Purpose in Your Book and Life

by | Apr 30, 2025 | Personal Development, Write A NonFiction Book

When it comes to pretty much everything in life and writing, asking why is one of the most important questions.

When I go off on one of my creative wanderings, which I do because I love to create, I have to stop and ask why I am doing this. Is it because I needed the healing distraction of creation or is it because I need to get something done that actually needs doing right now.

Both, in my opinion, are important. Well, at least to me, they are.

Your “why” is a concept popularised by Simon Sinek, which has become the North Star for entrepreneurs, authors, and individuals searching for meaningful direction. And let’s be honest, we are always searching, aren’t we?

But the truth is Sinek didn’t invent the idea of having a why. Long before TED Talks and great book titles, philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual seekers were hammering home the importance of purpose. Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” Viktor Frankl, surviving the horrors of the Holocaust, wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning that purpose was the key to survival. Even the great Abraham Maslow built his pyramid of needs around the idea that self-actualisation, finding and living your why, is what makes life truly rich.

We are purpose seeking creatures.

Before diving into the mechanics of writing or living, I think it’s valuable to establish the foundation of a purpose that will sustain us through challenges and guide our decisions when chaos ensues.

Without a clear why, it’s easy to lose heart when the path gets rocky. And it will. But with your why in your heart, you’ll find the strength to keep going, even on days when you’d rather hide under a duvet with a large cup of tea and a questionable amount of biscuits. (No judgement. We’ve all been there.)

The Power of Purpose in Writing

When aspiring authors approach the daunting task of writing a book, they often begin with questions about structure, audience, or marketing strategies. While these elements are undoubtedly important, they represent the “what” and “how” of the process—secondary considerations that gain their true value only when anchored to a truthful “why.”

Your “why” is the beating heart of your manuscript and further work. It’s the reason you wake up thinking about your book, the message that refuses to stay quiet, and the contribution you feel called to make. Without this central purpose, even the most proficient writing risks becoming hollow, just words arranged skilfully but lacking the resonance that moves readers to action, reflection, or genuine connection. And we do want our readers to be involved, don’t we?

Consider the difference between these two approaches:

Approach 1: “I want to write a self-help book because that genre sells well, and I have some expertise in psychology.”

Approach 2: “I need to share what I’ve learned about overcoming anxiety because these techniques saved me when nothing else worked, and I know they could help thousands of others who are suffering as I once did.”

Both may result in completed manuscripts, but the second carries something dear to the writer’s heart and urgency that readers can feel intuitively. This clarity of purpose guides every decision from tone to structure, from examples chosen to solutions offered. The truth is we want your story so that we can connect with it emotionally. I love writing journaling prompt books, but my writing (in other books such as memoirs) gains meaning when I write from the heart and share my stories.

Discovering Your Book’s Purpose

The journey to uncovering your book’s “why” often begins with introspection. I love to plan, but I need lots of reflection time. These are some of the things I think about that could help you:

The Message You Cannot Contain: What truth, insight, or story keeps bubbling to the surface of your consciousness? What do you find yourself explaining to friends, colleagues, or strangers with unusual passion? When I read this, it always brings to mind sitting with friends, enjoying Sunday lunch and blathering about our dogs. If you are a doggy parent, think beyond your furry conversations.

The Gap You See: What missing perspective or understanding have you identified in the current conversation around your subject? What angle remains unexplored that your experience uniquely qualifies you to illuminate?

The Transformation You Envision: If readers could truly absorb and apply what you have to share, how might their lives change? What shift in thinking or behaviour do you hope to inspire?

The Personal Catalyst: What experience, revelation, or challenge in your own life makes this book necessary for you to write? What wound or wonder has compelled you to share this particular message?

And before you start to panic on me with the ‘who will read my story bit’, let me tell you, no one has your perspective or experience.

When you connect with your (real and raw) purpose, writing becomes less an act of creation and more an act of service (insert another word if you don’t like service). The fear of judgment often recedes when replaced by the conviction that your message matters more than your ego. We love a bit of ego, don’t we? In charge, but is it helping?

The Timing

Timing is everything. Every important book shows up at just the right time (funny that), becoming part of the bigger conversation that’s happening all around us. Your “why now” is just as important as your general “why.” It addresses the urgency and relevance of your contribution at this specific juncture.

Ask yourself:

  • What circumstances or developments make your message particularly needed at this moment?
  • How have recent changes in society, technology, or understanding created an opening for your perspective?
  • What would be lost if this book were delayed by five years?

Timing matters. Relevance matters. Before we dive into the rest of this, let’s take a moment to step back and scan the environment that your book will live in.

A useful tool for this is something called STEEPLE — a framework for considering the broader forces shaping our world and, in turn, shaping the needs and expectations of our readers. I used to teach marketing and often bring this into book conversations – where relevant, of course. No one wants a marketing lesson, really do they?

Here’s a quick breakdown:

  • Social – Changes in lifestyles, demographics, cultural trends, and societal values (think: aging populations, shifting family structures, rising wellness movements).
  • Technological – Innovations like AI, digital publishing, e-readers, and new ways people consume information (or misinformation).
  • Environmental – The push toward sustainability, low-carbon solutions, and an increased demand for ethical, eco-conscious practices.
  • Economic – Trends in consumer spending, economic booms and busts, financial pressures affecting how and what people buy, including books.
  • Political – Shifts in government, policy changes, and the ripple effects of political movements.
  • Legal – New laws and regulations affecting industries, privacy, intellectual property, and even censorship.
  • Ethical – A growing global focus on what’s right, fair, and sustainable — values readers are increasingly using to choose who they trust and what they support.

By pausing to reflect through the lens of STEEPLE, you give your book not just a strong heart (your why) but a strong spine, firmly grounded in the world as it is and as it is becoming.

Sometimes, the timeliness relates to external factors. A shifting cultural conversation, emerging research, or evolving problems. Other times, it’s about personal readiness. You’ve finally accumulated the experience, perspective, or courage needed to share your message effectively.

Understanding your “why now” helps you frame your book in a contemporary context and speak directly to the current concerns, questions, and experiences of your potential readers. It ensures you’re stepping into a living, breathing conversation — not tossing your words into a void and hoping they grow legs.

The Essential Question: Why You?

One of the most persistent doubts that creeps in when you’re writing a book is the feeling of, “Who am I to do this?” It sounds humble, but underneath it often hides a deeper fear that what we have to say isn’t valuable enough, original enough, or worthy of attention.

But here’s the truth: your unique perspective is exactly what makes your book powerful.

No one else has walked your path, gathered the experiences you have, or sees the world through quite the same lens. Your way of making sense of things — and sharing them — is what will resonate with the people who need your voice.

Your “Why You”

As you shape your book, it’s important to connect not just to your “why” but to your “why you.” Why are you the right person to write this message, at this moment? These are some of the questions I come back to, and I invite you to reflect on them, too:

Your Lived Experience

What have you encountered, endured, or embraced that gives you insight others might lack? What have you witnessed first-hand that most people understand only theoretically? Your life isn’t just your background; it’s your credibility and your secret sauce.

Your Synthesis of Knowledge

How have you connected ideas across disciplines, traditions, or experiences in ways others haven’t? What unlikely combinations of expertise shape your perspective? Sometimes, the most powerful insights come not from depth in one subject but from the bridges we build between many.

Your Communication Style

How do you make complex ideas accessible or familiar concepts feel fresh again? What metaphors, frameworks, or natural ways of explaining things do you use that make people’s eyes light up with understanding?

As an aside, because knowing yourself deeply makes the journey easier, I’m a 3/6 Emotional Projector in Human Design and an INFJ. I love untangling complexity, sitting with it until it sings (I don’t know what it sings), and then translating it into something simple, beautiful, and practical. Making the complex simple isn’t just something I enjoy. It’s who I am.

What about you?

How do you naturally express yourself when you’re energised, connected, and speaking from the heart? When you tune into that energy, your writing becomes not just informative but alive.

And if you’re wondering, yes, your natural communication style can also help shape the structure of your book. Storytellers may naturally frame their message around personal narratives. Framework builders might prefer clear models or step-by-step. Journey guides often invite readers into a path of transformation. The key is to lean into your way, not force yourself into someone else’s.

Your Values and Vision

What principles quietly (or loudly) guide your approach, even when they run against conventional wisdom? What future possibilities do you see that others might miss? Your values aren’t just personal preferences; they’re often what makes your message necessary and your perspective irreplaceable.

Even well-travelled topics benefit from new voices. Each generation needs its own interpreters and guides. The question isn’t whether your subject has been written about before. It’s whether you have something meaningful to contribute to the ongoing conversation. And you do.

Dorothea Brande, author of “Becoming a Writer” (1934), is a classic that blends practical writing advice with a deep dive into the writer’s inner world, encouraging ritual, discipline, and accessing the unconscious. Contrast that with Stephen King’s “On Writing” (2000), which is part memoir and part masterclass. It is raw, real, and unapologetically grounded in life experience and real-life storytelling wisdom.

Extending Your “Why” Beyond Writing

While we’ve focused primarily on authorship, this principle of starting with “why” extends far beyond writing, if there’s even such a thing as just writing. In career choices, relationship decisions, business ventures, and personal habits, beginning with why (with purpose) transforms how we meet life’s challenges and opportunities.

When we understand our core motivations:

Decision-making becomes clearer

Options can be weighed against our fundamental purpose rather than against fluctuating external metrics or passing trends.

Resilience increases

Setbacks and obstacles become temporary hurdles rather than existential threats when we remain connected to our deeper intent.

Communication improves

When we speak (or write) from our “why,” we communicate with conviction that resonates emotionally and authentically with others.

Innovation flourishes

Understanding the purpose behind conventions allows us to preserve what truly matters while reimagining what no longer serves that core intent.

Satisfaction deepens

Even the difficult, messy, and unglamorous parts of the journey gain meaning when connected to values we genuinely care about.

In the end, writing is simply one doorway into a larger practice: living, choosing, and creating from the heart of who we are and why we’re here.

And if you ask me — that’s where the real magic begins.

Practical Steps for Finding Your “Why”

Whether for your book or your broader life direction, these (timeless) practices can help clarify your fundamental purpose:

Observe your natural enthusiasm

When do you lose track of time? What topics make you animated in conversation? What injustices or opportunities can you not help but address?

Identify your recurring themes

What lessons have you learned repeatedly in different contexts? What truths do you find yourself returning to as foundational?

Reflect on compliments and requests.

What do others consistently thank you for? What help do they seek from you specifically? For example, just this week, friends reached out to me for help with anxiety and deeply personal issues. It’s something that happens often, and I’ve come to realise it’s because I naturally hold a compassionate space. I understand what it feels like to struggle, to feel lost, and I suppose I come across as resilient, even when I don’t always feel that way inside.

I’m not a counsellor. And I never pretend to be. But I can offer what’s within my scope: journaling practices, breathing techniques, energy work suggestions, and the name of a trusted professional I highly respect. Sometimes, the help we offer isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about offering a safe, supportive hand at the right moment.

Examine your strongest reactions

What provokes your strongest positive or negative responses? These often point to deeply held values. For me, my next memoir is all about being wild about words. It’s about how words have been my sanctuary, my battleground, my home. It’s about the times I felt silenced, the moments when finding the right words saved me, and the unshakable belief I now hold that our stories matter — wildly, unapologetically, and urgently.

Writing, for me, has always been more than just self-expression; it’s been survival, rebellion, and, ultimately, freedom. When I feel most alive, most passionate, it’s because I’m in conversation with words — mine, yours, all of ours — shaping something true.

Create a personal legacy statement

Complete this sentence: “At the end of my life, I want to have contributed to…”

At the end of my life, I want to have contributed to a world where words heal, hearts rise, and women remember how wildly powerful and worthy they truly are.

Moving Forward with Purpose

Once you’ve uncovered your “why,” think of it as a living, breathing compass and not a rigid statement carved in stone. Let it grow with you. Keep coming back to it, checking in as your experiences, insights, and even your heart shift over time.

Your “why” isn’t just the spark that gets you started; it’s the steady flame that keeps you moving when the path gets foggy or your motivation wobbles. When doubt creeps in (and it will), it will reconnect with your purpose. Let it remind you why you picked up the pen (or sat at the keyboard) in the first place.

The books that leave a mark, just like the lives that truly inspire us, are built on authentic purpose. They carry the pulse of someone who knew deep down that their message mattered, that now was the time to share it, and that they were the right person to say it.

Begin there. Trust that the words will come.

When your story calls you, head here.

Let your journal be a mirror reflecting your true self, unfiltered and raw, capturing the essence of your journey through life.

Dale Darley
Reinvent Yourself: Embracing Change to Unlock Your True Potential

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