Unravelling the link between scarcity, self-worth, and receiving
Have you ever felt like you had to earn the right to abundance? Like there was some invisible threshold of goodness, productivity, or achievement, you needed to cross before you could truly receive what you desire?
If so, you’re not alone. This quiet, often unconscious belief—that worthiness and abundance are somehow linked—runs through many of our lives like an underground stream, influencing what we allow ourselves to receive and what we unconsciously push away. And believe me, many of us do it in one way or another. Just listen to your language. Write what you say in your journal, and then notice how you feel when you see the patterns constantly reemerge. It’s fascinating.
It’s a theme I’ve seen show up time and again in myself and others. It’s worth bringing into the light because this single belief might be the most significant block to experiencing the fullness that is already yours.
Scarcity and Self-Worth: The Hidden Connection
Scarcity isn’t just about lacking money or resources. At its core, it’s a mindset that whispers: “There’s never enough… and I’m never enough either.” And this is so bloody debilitating. You can wear yourself out with the unconscious chatter careering through your brain.
Many of us were conditioned from childhood to believe that we must work harder, be better, or somehow prove ourselves worthy before we deserve good things. We learned that abundance—whether in the form of love, success, joy, or material comfort—is something earned through effort, struggle, and perpetual self-improvement. Can you hear the voices telling you these things? I can and still do hear them.
This conditioning shows up in subtle, everyday thoughts:
- “I’ll allow myself that holiday once I’ve worked hard enough…”
- “I can’t charge that much until I have more qualifications…”
- “I don’t deserve that kind of relationship until I sort out…”
- “I’ll enjoy life properly once I’ve done this, this and this…”
Perhaps you recognise some of these thoughts? I certainly do, and others like them. And what I’ve come to understand is that these aren’t just harmless motivational tactics—they’re big limitations on what we allow ourselves to receive.
When we link abundance to worthiness, we create an internal gatekeeper who stands before the flow of life, checking our credentials and, too often, turning away gifts that are trying to reach us. The gatekeeper needs kicking into touch!
When I Finally Noticed the Pattern
This realisation hit me recently like a sledgehammer. That’s what often happens when you sign up for something new—you hear the call and jump in. And if you’re like me, it will be with an open heart and mind.
I had joined a 40-day Abundance Challenge. The funny thing is I wasn’t going to, but as the date drew ever closer, I found myself jumping in anyway. The challenge was based on a book which, as it turned out, was already on my Kindle but had been discarded because I didn’t connect with the language.
Instead of dismissing it this time, I decided to go ahead and change the language to suit me, writing daily journaling prompts and affirmations that worked better for me.
It was during the first ten days that I had a rather uncomfortable revelation about myself. I wrote in my journal:
“I’m not actually waiting for abundance. I’m waiting to feel good enough to receive it.”
What unfolded was uncomfortable, and I felt angry. Then, I saw that this pattern had filtered into other areas of my life.
On day 2, I wrote the following:
Day 2 reflections so far.
I sat with my journal at 5 a.m. with this second principle, and at first, I was like, yeah, it’s all good. Then, the emotions rose.
I am really connected to abundance which surrounds me and helps me to feel as one with everything – nature – dogs – friends – family – early morning walks – sitting by the fire.
But then my mind wandered to money and how I have been ‘abused’ by male partners who have weaponised money – I have more to write and explore. And by clients not paying.
In my reflections, I can rationalise that this is external to me, but I see it as tied to my self-worth.
I realised I had been consistently undercharging for my services, overgiving with my time, and feeling subtly resentful about it all—yet unable to change the pattern. The truth of these words resonated through my body. I saw how I had created an elaborate system where my worthiness was measured by others—their praise, their validation, their assessment of my contribution. And I had decided, unconsciously, that I wasn’t quite “there” yet.
I also saw how this pattern extended far beyond money. I was doing the same with friendships (always being the supportive one, rarely asking for what I needed), with rest (perpetually postponing proper self-care until I’d “earned” it), and even with joy (feeling vaguely guilty about pure pleasure unless it was somehow “productive”).
What struck me most was that this wasn’t just my personal neurosis. This belief runs deep in our collective consciousness.
Later I came to realise that my abundance was my inner wisdom, experience and the wealth of material I had already created waiting to go out into the world. It was then that I knew I wanted to turn my work into ebooks, books and courses at affordable prices to support others on this wild journey through life. Suddenly, so much made sense. And it will for you too.
A Truth to Anchor In
Here’s what I’ve come to believe through both personal experience and witnessing others’ journeys:
Abundance isn’t something you earn through perfection. It’s something you receive when you remember who you are.
This isn’t spiritual bypassing or an excuse to abdicate responsibility in life. Rather, it’s a recognition that, at your core, you are already enough. Your worthiness isn’t something acquired through achievement—it’s your birthright, something inherent in your very existence.
When we begin to untether abundance from worthiness, something profound happens. We open ourselves to receive not just money or material things but the full spectrum of life’s gifts—love, beauty, support, connection, inspiration, and joy.
We move from a stance of “I must earn this” to “I am open to receiving this.” And that simple shift changes everything.
The universe doesn’t operate on a merit-based system where only the “good enough” receive abundance. Look at nature—does the earth question whether the seed is worthy before allowing it to grow? Does the rain check the moral credentials of the ground before falling upon it? Of course not. There is a natural flow of giving and receiving that has nothing to do with worthiness.
Beyond the Worthiness Trap
When we release the grip of worthiness as the gatekeeper to abundance, several things begin to shift:
- We notice what’s already here. When we’re caught in proving our worth, we focus on what’s lacking. When we release that stance, we suddenly see the abundance that’s already present in our lives.
- We receive more gracefully. Without the filter of “Do I deserve this?” we can simply accept gifts, compliments, opportunities, and support with an open heart.
- We give more authentically. When giving isn’t about proving our worth, we can offer what truly flows from our hearts rather than what we think will earn us approval.
- We experience more joy. The weight of constantly assessing our worthiness is exhausting. Without it, there’s more room for genuine pleasure and appreciation.
- We create from a different place. Rather than creating to prove our value, we create from a place of fullness and inspiration—which paradoxically often leads to greater external success.
Journal Prompts to Gently Explore
Take a few quiet moments to explore how the link between worthiness and abundance might still be showing up in your life:
- What do I believe I have to do or become to be worthy of more abundance?
- Where did I first learn that I had to earn good things? Can I recall a specific memory or message?
- What might abundance feel like if I didn’t have to earn it? How would my relationship with receiving change?
- What am I already worthy of—just as I am today, without changing a single thing?
- How might I treat myself differently if I truly believed my worth was inherent rather than earned?
- In what area of my life do I need to release the “worthiness” condition most?
The Practice of Receiving
Breaking the link between worthiness and abundance isn’t a one-time revelation but an ongoing practice. Here are some gentle ways to begin:
- Notice the narrative. When abundance appears—whether it’s a compliment, an opportunity, or financial gain—listen to your internal dialogue. Is there a voice questioning whether you deserve it?
- Practice saying “thank you.” Simple gratitude, without explanation or justification, is a powerful way to practice receiving. No “you shouldn’t have” or “it was nothing”—just “thank you.”
- Explore where you’re blocking flow. Are there areas where you consistently deflect abundance? Perhaps you struggle to accept help, downplay achievements, or feel uncomfortable when good things come “too easily.”
- Release reciprocity pressure. True receiving doesn’t mean you immediately need to give something back. Allow yourself to receive without the immediate urge to balance the scales.
- Remember your inherent value. In quiet moments, place a hand on your heart and remind yourself that your worth isn’t measured by what you do but by who you are.
An Invitation to Go Deeper
If this exploration resonates with you, I invite you to consider joining The Abundance Within journey. In the early part of the programme, we gently explore and release the scarcity stories that have shaped our relationship with receiving.
The journey unfolds through daily emails, each containing a reflection, a journaling prompt, and a simple practice to integrate the day’s principle. It’s designed as a spacious, gentle rhythm—not another task on your to-do list, but a quiet space for remembering what has always been true.
A Final Thought
The irony of the worthiness trap is that in trying so hard to become deserving of abundance, we often miss the very fact that abundance is already here, waiting for us to simply open our hands and receive.
You don’t need to become more, do more, or prove more to deserve the fullness of life. You simply need to remember the truth that has always lived within you: you are already enough, already worthy, already complete.
And from that place of remembering true abundance—not as an achievement but as a natural state of being—can finally flow.
I am enough. I am open. I am ready to receive.
And so are you.
You can join the 40 day Abundance Within Journey here.
