This week, I explored the right book to write with my group from The Healing Book Project. In our discussion, I covered fictional self-help. I was intrigued, and I felt that I wanted to write one, but I naturally preferred the comfort of transformational journals.
It even woke me in the early hours, nagging me to consider stepping into the discomfort zone and giving it a go.
We all love our comfort zones. That cosy, familiar space where everything feels safe and predictable. It’s human nature to gravitate towards comfort – after all, who doesn’t enjoy sinking into their favourite chair or sofa at the end of a long day? Our comfort zones provide a sense of security and ease that can feel very appealing.
The phrase ‘comfort zone’ was coined by author Judith Bardwick in her 1991 work Danger in the Comfort Zone. She says it’s “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance usually without a sense of risk.” In other words, it’s where we feel competent and in control, free from stress or challenges.
There are definite benefits to spending time in our comfort zones. We know exactly what’s expected of us and how to meet those expectations. We have mental space to learn new things, daydream, and plan for the future. Our bodies and minds get a chance to rest and recharge. We can fully engage in our relationships without distraction. Overall, life just feels easier and more manageable when we’re comfortably in our element.
Given all these perks, it’s no wonder we’re drawn to our comfort zones. They provide a soothing respite from the demands and uncertainties of life. Retreating to our comfort zone now and then is necessary for our well-being. We all need time to decompress and find our equilibrium.
However, as comforting as our safe spaces may be, staying there indefinitely can become detrimental. While brief visits to the comfort zone are healthy, permanent residence leads to stagnation and is boring after a while. Growth and progress require us to venture beyond the familiar into unknown territory. This is especially true when it comes to ambitious goals like writing a book.
The Allure of Comfort vs. The Challenge of Writing
While the comfort zone can be particularly enticing. Writing a book is an enormous undertaking that pushes us far outside our usual routines and abilities. It’s natural to feel intimidated by such a monumental task. The comfort zone beckons with its promise of ease and safety.
It’s so much simpler to stick with our typical day-to-day activities than to leap into a challenging creative journey. Our usual responsibilities and habits feel manageable. We know we can handle them competently. In contrast, writing a book is fraught with uncertainty. We’re not sure if we’re up to the task or if we’ll be able to produce something worthwhile.
I certainly was having a no, I am not going there moment. But I am the teacher/facilitator, and I can’t back out, can I?
The comfort zone whispers seductively: “Why rock the boat? Things are fine as they are. Writing a book or a new kind of book sounds stressful and difficult. You’re doing great just as you are – no need to take on something so daunting.” These thoughts can be very persuasive when we’re facing the prospect of a lengthy, demanding writing project.
However, while the comfort zone feels safe, it’s actually a form of self-imposed limitation. By never venturing beyond our current abilities, we deny ourselves the opportunity for growth and achievement. Writing a book or a new style of book may be uncomfortable, but that discomfort is the catalyst for expansion.
Why Writing Pushes Us Out of Our Comfort Zone
There are many reasons why the process of writing a book challenges our usual patterns and pushes us into unfamiliar territory:
1. It requires sustained focus and discipline. Writing a full-length book demands consistent effort over an extended period of time. This level of dedication and persistence is outside many people’s normal habits.
2. It involves sharing our inner world. Writing requires us to excavate our thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a deeply personal way. Putting our inner reality on the page for others to see can feel very vulnerable.
3. It tests our abilities. Most of us have never written anything as lengthy or complex as a book before. We’re stretching our skills to the limit, which can feel uncomfortable. I have written lots of 20k fiction things, but that’s as far as it’s gone.
4. It invites judgment and criticism. Once our book is out in the world, it will be subject to others’ opinions. Opening ourselves up to potential criticism is scary for most people. Yes, I feel this right now.
5. It challenges our identity. Writing often forces us to confront limiting beliefs about ourselves and expand our sense of identity.
6. It disrupts our routines. Carving out time to write means adjusting our usual schedules and habits, which can feel destabilising.
7. It requires us to push through obstacles. Writer’s block, self-doubt, and other challenges are inevitable. Working through these difficulties takes us out of our comfort zone.
8. It demands that we learn new skills. From plotting to editing to publishing, writing a book involves acquiring abilities we may not currently possess.
9. It asks us to be visible. Putting our work out into the world means stepping out of invisibility and anonymity. This visibility can feel very uncomfortable for many people.
Given all these factors, it’s no wonder that writing a book feels so far outside our comfort zone. The entire process asks us to stretch beyond our current limitations in significant ways. This can provoke anxiety, self-doubt, and the urge to retreat to safer ground.
The Discomfort Zone: Where Growth Happens
While the comfort zone feels safe and appealing, it’s actually in the “discomfort zone” where real progress occurs. This space of moderate anxiety and challenge is where we develop new capabilities and expand our sense of what’s possible.
Psychologists call this area just beyond our comfort zone the “optimal anxiety” state or “productive discomfort.” It’s the sweet spot where we’re pushed enough to grow, but not so much that we’re overwhelmed. This is where learning, creativity and achievement flourish.
Writing a book, or in my case, self-help fiction, places us squarely in this discomfort zone. The process stretches us beyond our current abilities, but in doing so, it allows us to discover strengths and talents we didn’t know we possessed. Each challenge we overcome expands our comfort zone a little further.
As we push through writer’s block, learn to structure a compelling narrative, or master the intricacies of editing, we’re building new neural pathways. We’re literally rewiring our brains to accommodate these new skills and experiences. This neuroplasticity is the foundation of growth and development.
The discomfort we feel while writing is often a sign that we’re working on something meaningful. If a project feels easy and comfortable, it probably isn’t pushing us to our full potential. The anxiety and self-doubt that arise during the writing process are actually indicators that we’re engaged in work that matters deeply to us.
Embracing Discomfort as a Catalyst for Change
Understanding the value of discomfort can help us push through the challenges of writing a book. Rather than seeing our anxiety and uncertainty as signs that we should give up, we can reframe them as evidence of growth.
Here are some ways to embrace the discomfort of the writing process:
1. Acknowledge your feelings. Recognise that discomfort is a natural part of stretching yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. I am doing this right now.
2. Start small. Take baby steps out of your comfort zone by setting manageable daily writing goals.
3. Reframe challenges as opportunities. When you encounter difficulties, see them as chances to learn and improve rather than insurmountable obstacles.
4. Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself as you navigate unfamiliar territory. Treat yourself with the same understanding you’d offer a friend.
5. Celebrate small wins. Acknowledge every bit of progress, no matter how minor it may seem. This builds confidence and momentum.
6. Connect with other writers. Sharing your struggles with those on a similar journey can normalise the discomfort and provide support.
7. Focus on your “why.” Remind yourself of the deeper reasons you want to write this book. Let that motivation pull you through the tough spots.
8. Embrace a growth mindset. View your abilities as flexible rather than fixed. Trust that you can develop the skills you need through effort and practice.
9. Use mindfulness techniques. Meditation and breathing exercises can help you stay grounded when discomfort arises.
10. Track your progress. Keep a record of how far you’ve come to boost your confidence when self-doubt creeps in.
By reframing discomfort as a sign of growth rather than a signal to retreat, we can use it as fuel for our writing journey. Each moment of productive discomfort is an opportunity to expand our capabilities and move closer to our goals.
The Rewards of Pushing Through
While writing a book certainly involves discomfort, the rewards of pushing through are immense. By venturing beyond our comfort zone, we open ourselves up to incredible growth and achievement.
Some of the benefits of embracing the discomfort of writing include:
1. Increased confidence and self-efficacy
2. Enhanced creativity and problem-solving skills
3. Greater resilience and ability to handle challenges
4. Expanded sense of what’s possible for ourselves
5. Deeper self-knowledge and personal insight
6. Sense of accomplishment and pride in our work
7. New opportunities and connections in the writing world
8. Ability to impact others through our words
9. Tangible proof of our capabilities and dedication
These rewards far outweigh the temporary discomfort of the writing process. By staying in our comfort zones, we deny ourselves these incredible possibilities for growth and fulfilment.
Comfort Zones: When to Visit and When to Leave
Our comfort zones serve an important purpose. They provide a place of rest and rejuvenation that we all need. Brief retreats to our zone of familiarity and ease can help us recharge so we have the energy to tackle new challenges.
However, if we want to achieve our dreams and reach our full potential, we must be willing to step beyond the borders of comfort. Writing a book is a prime example of a goal that requires us to embrace productive discomfort.
While the writing process will inevitably push us out of our comfort zones, this discomfort is the catalyst for tremendous growth. By reframing our anxiety and self-doubt as signs of progress rather than danger, we can use these feelings to propel us forward.
The key is finding the right balance – visiting our comfort zones when we truly need rest but being willing to venture into the discomfort zone in pursuit of our goals. With this approach, we can harness the power of productive discomfort to write the books that are within us, waiting to emerge.
So the next time you feel the urge to retreat to your comfort zone instead of writing, pause and ask yourself: Is this a necessary respite, or am I avoiding growth? Often, the greatest rewards lie just on the other side of discomfort. By embracing the challenges of writing, we open ourselves up to incredible possibilities for achievement, impact, and personal transformation.