Dale Darley

All Posts by Dale Darley

Thinking About Changing Direction? Write A Book First

Writing has always been a part of my life, I wish I knew then what I know now and had created an exit strategy when I was in corporate that included writing a book and building my brand before I moved on.

Having the opportunity and foresight to plan your exit or entrance is a wonderful thing. You may be running a business that you think you are enjoying when a change in government rules changes everything overnight. Or in a career that no longer feeds your soul.

Or you may be struggling with the current pandemic – which has changed everything.

The business or career that you thought you loved may become a complete nightmare. Imagine going from being profitable, loving every day to pulling your hair out because you cannot make any headway.

Currently we are in lockdown, however years ago I was running a government funded project which was amazing – they pulled the plug with just six weeks notice. Doh!

On the other hand what if you wake up one day and a quiet voice in your head asks you to wake up. You are not really happy, the business is ok, but you are not going anywhere fast soon, using your skills and you certainly don’t feel any passion.

The wake-up call however it reaches you is often too late. If you are a tad impulsive, you may don your rubber armbands, hold your nose and jump into the sea of new opportunities with some consideration, but not your all-important well crafted personal brand and business strategy.

We all have something that we could write about or build a business around. It may not seem like it right now. But consider this…

What if your story was turned into a self-help book? What if you could turn that into an online course or a coaching business?

Have you had stress and anxiety? Perhaps you have been plagued by IBS, Candida or some other gut issue? What about low self-worth or imposter syndrome?

Write yourself a list of possibles – what fills you with joy or a passion? Or what could be a passion project for 1-2 years?

The downside?

I once wrote a book called healing osteoporosis naturally and never published it. I did indeed heal the osteoporosis naturally and writing the book helped me to do that.

But the subject left me cold…

Whereas journaling and writing excite me. As does working with the energy of the chakras and helping my clients to be ‘Happy To Be Me.

So, think for a while, journal around your thoughts and feelings and let’s chat.

Your book

Writing a book is not just about the book, it is a process that connects you to your inner wisdom, helps you to discover your voice, helps you to grow as a person and gives you a great marketing vehicle.

Before you start to write a book

One of the areas I always explore with my writers is their values, passion, vision and purpose, these set the foundations of the book (and your personal branding strategy).

What do you want to create?

I always ask first – what do you want to create in the world?

Creation is about envisioning. Often if you can’t see it, you can’t create it or manifest it. You may have already created some of what you want to create, but you might not have realised it.

Other questions might include:

  • What are the greatest things you could accomplish, given the right circumstances, inspiration, support, resources and motivation?
  • When you die, what would you want people to say and remember about you?
  • What kind of life do you want to have lived at age 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and 80?
  • What kinds of people do you want to be surrounded by and who do you want to have a relationship with?
  • What could you contribute to the world that would make you feel proud and content?

Values

Values are ways of being that mean something important to you. Your values are the qualities that you want to present to the world. They are what you believe are important. They are the foundations of who you are. Your book and strategy must embody your values.

Passion

Your passion (combined with your knowledge, skills and experience) is what you will be distilling through your writing. You may not be clear on what that is yet. You may be passionate about many things, what we are looking for is the one thing right now that you could write about that resonates with you.

Vision

Vision drives your direction; it is future-based and relies on you taking action to get you there. Your vision, then, is something that will propel you towards things that you want to achieve in the future. You must write a book for where you want to be, not where you are or what you are currently doing.

Purpose

“You need purpose to propel you in the right direction, keep you motivated and on track, especially on bad hair days.”

Finding your purpose leads to a purposeful book or one that has a purpose. A purpose-led book is one that is written from your heart; it has meaning to you and to those that you share it with. When you write with purpose, your writing will flow; you will feel a deep connection to it.

The purpose of your book is to help others to imagine what is possible for them from what you have discovered, experienced, learnt and are now sharing.

What about your personal story?

People often get confused about autobiography, biography, memoir, and personal story. For clarity they are:-

  • Autobiography is most of your life – it’s what famous people do…
  • A biography is about someone else
  • A memoir is a slice of your life – told in story form
  • A personal story is a slice of your life with a learning point and contains how-to/self-help

A personal story is a way to write about a part of your life that has enabled you to create change, expansion and transformation and is designed to inspire someone else to do something with their life. It is connected to your core message and is often used as a part of your personal brand.

You will probably use it for coaching, courses, workshops and programs. It is the perfect formula for a transition book.

Next steps for writing a book include

  • Creating a personal branding strategy and whatever that might entail. You may start blogging and going to local networking meetings.
  • Market and ideal reader (customer) research.
  • Consider your business strategy – will you provide coaching, workshops, online training and speaking?
  • Your book and business marketing strategy.
  • Asking what questions your book answers .
  • What value will your reader get?
  • Creating an outline and chapter framework to give you clarity and chunk it down to make it easier to write. You will be writing it before you head to work or possibly weekends and evenings. Yes, you do need to be dedicated and motivated.
  • Writing to the first draft.
  • Editing.
  • Cover design.
  • Publishing.
  • Launching.
  • Ongoing marketing.
  • Perhaps an online course?

What your book will give you

Today a business book adds an extra dimension to your credibility as an expert. It allows you to demonstrate your expertise, skills, knowledge, experiences and passion. A business book can support your workshops, help you to develop other products and services and be used as a highly effective marketing tool.

Not only that you can use it as a lead generator, driving traffic to your website and if you turn it into an online course another source of revenue (and that can’t be bad can it?).

Go on what are you waiting for write your book and jump into the sea, the temperature is just perfect.

Need more support? Enrol on a course or connect with me

And don’t forget to sign up to get your copy of 101 questions.

The New Habit Kickstart – I’ve Started The Cake, So…

Did you know that from a young age I have been fascinated by nutrition? I took my first course in my late twenties and then studied naturopathic nutrition in 2016. I completed the course, did a couple of case studies and one assignment. I got an A+. I’m proud of that.

But I had a few defining moments which made me realise that this was not the life for me.

Again in my twenties, I coached a few friends with their eating. One gave up pop (fizzy drinks) and drank water instead, but could not control the rest of her eating. Another just ate constantly.

I was perplexed, surely they would want to be healthy? I did. It came easy. Feel rubbish, eat better, feel well. I soon discovered that for many people, this eating malarkey was not really about eating; it goes much deeper. Of course, it does…

When I was told I had an overactive thyroid, the doctor and I were perplexed because I felt fine. He was concerned as I had virtually no TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone). Six weeks later, after changing my diet, some energy work and lots of visualisation, I went back and was healed.

Later in 2018, when my spine fractured, I applied the same rules, find the root cause, eat to heal and use all of the other things in my toolkit to get well.

Both of these things required me to change some habits. I am bloody-minded, which helps. I was not going to be a statistic, and take awful drugs, I was going to heal naturally.

The key is – I had something I wanted – desperately – better health and I would stop at nothing to get it.

How often do you have something you want, but find that it is elusive, for some reason?

I had a powerful question – do I love myself enough to…?

The answer is always yes. When you find yourself in any pickle, in any area of your life and you HAVE to change, that is always my first question.

But it’s not always easy.

I can remember the doctor many years ago telling me I had anxiety. It had crept up on me to the point that despite walking my dog 2-3 times a day, I could hardly breathe.

I needed an interrupt—a way of changing some of the things I was doing. But where to start? Which thing needed to change first?

When you get into a slide and eat the first slice of cake, it’s super easy to eat the next and the next, until you feel sick. But yet, you go and buy more cake.

Talking about cake, I make my own cake and biscuits and to stop me scoffing the whole cake, I make it really simple. I cut it up and freeze it. Then I have a daily treat – at 11am; it’s cake and tea time.

I will confess I have two cake overeating saviours – they are called dogs and help me to eat said cake.

But all joking apart, we are very different and how I do things is not how you will and what is important to me, is probably not important to you. So where do we start?

This is my thinking and journaling process.

Change just one habit

Do I love myself enough? This is really a roots question. What is at the root of your habit, in other words, why? The thing about this is you may not know or where your habit started. So, for now, just ask the question and notice any resistance. What else do you notice? Where do you feel it in your body?

The when moment. Notice when you do the thing. My mum is great at catastrophising. Her anxiety is triggered easily and she will not settle until she has taken action. Her when moment is the point when she feels that she has no control.

A when moment is usually something emotional, time, environment or person related. So, for example, when John tells me I am [insert your word], I feel useless, and that’s when I need hot chocolate and the whole cake. I get it, it’s very comforting. I broke that habit and now when something triggers me, I go for a walk with my furry ones and clear my head. No food or emotional eating involved. It’s true…

I’m trying to stop. The try word is pretty awful. Yeah, I’ll try. There’s no real commitment, is there? Just remember this – “Do. Or do not. There is no try.”  Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back. What I’m asking here is for you to identify the old habit. That’s all, identify it, but do not use the I am trying to stop x. State the facts.

I’d love to. What would you love instead? I’d love to eat just one slice of healthy cake instead. You would? Really? Dig deep and notice what comes up. Where do you feel it?

Swap in, swap out: Choose one small thing to change. Make it easy for yourself. If it’s cake, I’d swap the shop cake which is full of sugar and make a healthy cake. But before you say it’s too hard. Here’s what I do. I have a basic gluten free banana bread recipe and a basic coconut biscuit recipe. All the wet items go in the blender and then all the dry. It then goes in the oven. It’s so easy and mmmmm hot cake with tea is delish.

Small daily actions. Everything in life is better when be done in smaller chunks or slices. I just find that if I do one thing and another one thing, I am soon on track with my new habit.

Be brave. Make a vow and be committed. Do this thing and stretch yourself just a bit further. You are braver than you will ever know.

Get back on the unicorn. Unicorns are magical creatures and unlike horses can fly. They can take you high above the thing you are struggling with so that you can see it from another perspective. So get back on, reflect and review – what do you learn? Carry on with your new learning.

Make it part of your routine until it becomes a habit. It takes some time before a new behaviour becomes a true habit. Until then, a routine will work to your best advantage. Even before the new behaviour becomes automatic, a routine will help you get it done without having to spend a lot of willpower or relying on daily reminders.

Make that daily walk part of your after dinner routine, or change from grabbing a snack at the vending machine at work at 10:00 in the morning to packing a healthy snack (make cake).

Reflect often. It’s in the reflection that we learn about ourselves. I’ve learned that I am resilient, bloody-minded, a researcher and I like to see patterns, I like to trace the roots of things, understand my why and then apply that learning to me. I’m an experimenter. What happens if I do this. And I am also a just do it, person. Let’s get this done is something I say to myself often and I do just that.

Celebrate everything. Success or what you perceive as failure. Celebrate it. It’s all in the learning. Write these things in the back of your journal and when you feel yuk, read about your triumphs.

Congratulations! Follow the points. Decide to create the new habit, practise the routine until it’s second nature and you’ll be well on your way to forming a new good habit.

Spending a little bit of time creating routines and habits will make your day run a lot smoother. You might just find yourself less stressed or anxious. Which leaves you more time to have some fun.

Do you need support right now? Let’s chat about coaching or perhaps there is a course or program that tickles your fancy. Either way being supported will help you to create the life you desire and bring you to a place where you can say ‘I am happy to be me.’

Having The Courage To Embrace Trust

Trust belongs in the root chakra (level one of the foundations of you). It’s foundational because without trust how do we build for example our confidence or learn to trust our hearts again.

Trust requires courage.

I remember as a child I believed I could fly. I trusted that this was possible, so I threw myself off the top of the stairs. Luckily my dad who knew better just happened to be standing at the bottom of the stairs caught me. My days of flying in that way were over.

But it never stopped me trying things out, getting hurt, learning from the experience and getting on with life.

There have been many times that my trust has been broken, from the odd gossipy friend, employers who lied (no, course there won’t be any redundancies…), to husbands living double lives. What I learn from these things is that people will break your trust, it’s part of life. But that you have to be willing to risk it happening again, otherwise you will live a fearful life.

Fear turns to stress and turns to anxiety.

That is not to say you need to rush in and get hurt again, because we learn, don’t we? And from the learning we grow stronger in our ability to listen to our intuition and make better conscious choices.

Let’s explore trust

There are so many reasons why we don’t trust ourselves. Trust is about belief, and it is how we act when we either trust ourselves and others or not. It is also tied to confidence. When you do not trust yourself or others, then naturally you become fearful of what you might do or say.

Have you noticed that when someone does something to you that breaks your trust that this becomes difficult to shake off when you find yourself in a similar situation? This can be particularly true of relationships where perhaps your partner has been unfaithful and subsequently, it is difficult to trust them or others not to do this to you again.

What about when it comes to eating, can you trust yourself to not eat the whole packet of biscuits or to just eat one chunk of chocolate? Or perhaps you don’t venture out of your comfort zone because you don’t trust that you can do whatever is required?

If lack of trust in anything is plaguing you, then you could find that some of the joy goes out of life because you become too fearful of committing to something. And then, of course, that old rogue self-sabotage could show up to hold you back even more.

The problem is that this lack of trust is operating at a level that you are not even aware of. The first place, therefore, to address this is becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Do not judge, simply acknowledge that this is what you have been doing. Tracing the roots will help you to understand where and when this first started, and from there, you can decide that you want to learn to trust again.

Self-trust is like anything it needs the practice to get into the muscle. Make a decision that you will commit to trusting again. Have the courage of your convictions. You might affirm that you are always on the right path. Trust that your goals lead you somewhere and that the right way is continually unfolding.

Creating healthy boundaries and learning to say no will ensure that you can protect yourself until such time you want to go beyond your comfort zone. Be vulnerable and give it a go, sometimes you have to let your guard down and trust all will be well. You can practice showing your vulnerability in a safe setting. Talk to a close family member or good friend and be open with them about how you are feeling.

The bottom line is that to trust others, you have to trust yourself first and in your ability to make good choices. Even if someone has hurt you, this is not because you failed or made a mistake, this is down to them and their behaviour. If you can understand their motivations, then this will help you to know why. Of course, the same applies to you, what were your reasons for not trusting? This is where trusting your intuition comes in. Do you listen to your gut feelings or your heart? Listening and trusting your intuition will guide you through life.

Look at all of the things that you do trust and all of the great decisions you did make and do more of these. In this way, you will build your trust muscle. Consider relationships you ended because of broken trust or things you tried and succeeded at. What does that tell you? What else can you look at- career, financial, health or friendships? All of this is a great reminder that you are in tune with yourself.

Forgive and let go, holding onto what happened is not healthy. In my book Root Chakra Journaling there is a wonderful forgiveness process there in roots and letting go. In addition to forgiveness, allow yourself to grieve any losses. You may be mourning the end of a relationship that wasn’t healthy or a life you knew that wasn’t serving you. Grief is the emotion at the heart chakra, and this is where working with your heart on self-love is essential to your healing. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and use your journal to help you to process them. Finally, leave the past behind and set your expectations for a life where you trust, respect and honour yourself.

Trust journaling prompts

  • What does trust mean to you?
  • How would trusting yourself help to improve the quality of your life?

Affirmation – I trust in my choices and decisions

Try this

  • Accept where you are
  • Acknolwledge your awareness – this means you can make good conscious choices
  • Be willing to test the waters – to learn and explore
  • Feel into the emotions and notice your behaviour – what do you learn?

Think of all the times that trust worked for you – explore why? What do you learn? How can you embrace that again? See the challenge, lesson and gift. When you trust you, then you can trust others or more you will listen to your intuition and take good action based on that.

Listen in to the Healthy, Wealthy, Healed And Happy Podcast

Start here with intuitive life coaching… Find inner peace and your ‘happy to be me’ factor

Root Chakra – Foundations and the right to be here

What are chakras?

chakras

The chakras are energy points or centres in our bodies in and out of which energy flows. In Sanskrit chakra means wheel so you could imagine them to be spinning wheels or vortexes of energy. Just as you have memories stored in your brain, your chakras are mini data centres where everything that has happened to you is stored. Each centre houses specific experiences. How cool is that to have your own mini you library stored in areas of your body? I also believe that they hold keys to our future selves too.

Just as we have a physical body, chakras can be likened to our spiritual body. Each one acts like a window to the soul and will feed information back to you about the state of your health and life. The health and energetic vibration of each chakra is influenced by the energies that surround you and the energy you project from your thoughts and feelings. This shows up in how you feel and experience life.

The root chakra

The root chakra is located at the base of the spine at the tailbone in the back, and the pubic bone in front. The right of this chakra is simply to be here. It is the first of our three physical chakras.

Colour red. Element earth. Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are earth element signs. Planet – Saturn. The right to be here. Emotion – fear. Endocrine gland – Gonads. Spine – The coccyx (tailbone). Age 0-7

Needs

The root chakra is about your needs for survival, security, safety, trust, belonging, health and wellbeing, family, past life issues home and money. This is where you will want to create a home, not only to live in but your home on earth and the home you make in your body. When we think of the root chakra, we think of grounding and connecting with Mother Earth. Which is where we get the beautifully vibrant, abundant earth colours of red, brown and black. This chakra supports the upward flow of energy from Mother Earth.

Balanced

When balanced, you feel grounded in the present and able to confidently release the fears that hold you back from growing into who you want to become. You will feel safe and secure in yourself, you’ll trust yourself and the decisions you make. Home feels welcoming and cosy, you feel like you belong. You get enormous satisfaction from being in nature and breathing in fresh air. Balancing this chakra lays the foundations for the chakras above it.

Manifesting

When you have healthy roots and foundations, you have a great base from which to manifest what you want in life. You will trust that abundance is available to you and feel at home asking for what you want.

Root chakra – Fear

This chakra is blocked by fear which closes down our right to be here. When you identity fear and the roots of it, you will begin to understand how you can start to eliminate it. Ask yourself what you are afraid of the most, and what is the worst that can happen? Who will you be when you feel safe and secure? When you move along the fear-love spectrum towards love, you will find that you will release more fear because you cannot hold onto both at once.

Journaling prompts

  • How connected do you feel to your body? As you scan your body, what do you notice, and what is this telling you?
  • What are some fears that you have that you not letting go of?
  • What were and are your relationships with your family like? What patterns do you notice when you interact? Do you like them? Do you need or want to change them? What do you love about your family?
  • When you question your right to be here, what do you notice and how do you feel? What does this teach me?
  • In what ways do you feel supported to get what you want in life?
  • How secure are your foundations? Do you feel balanced and able to stand firm?

Affirmation 

I am safe and fully supported in all that I do

Grab your copy of the Root Chakra Journaling Book here

Episode Four: This week lets embrace trust

In this episode I talk about embracing trust

Do you have trust issues? Do you know what the roots of these are? Are they around certain things, kinds of people or situations?

Listen in this week as I discuss trust. Trust sits in the root chakra and is one of our first level foundational things that we need to work on to create strong foundations for living a life of joy.When we don’t trust we can slip into fear. We can become stressed as we anticipate what is going to happen and that eventually turns into anxiety.

  • Accept where you are.
  • You are now aware – this means you can create conscious changes
  • Be willing to test the waters – to learn and explore
  • Feel into the emotions and notice your behaviour – what do you learn?

Now think of all the times that trust worked for you – explore why? What do you learn? How can you embrace that again? See the challenge, lesson and gift. When you trust you, then you can trust others or more you will listen to your intuition and take good action based on that.

Join our Happy To Be Me Community

The Power Of Vulnerability And Compassion

I don’t know about you, but I have always hated feeling vulnerable. It used to strike me as weak and being unable to help myself. Yet as the years have passed by I have come to see that being vulnerable is powerful. People who are ready to see, feel and understand you, will. And you will see, feel and understand the world in a different way. Which will open the door to greater compassion.

Brene Brown talks about the power of vulnerability, so this is nothing new. She talks about connection as an essential part of being human. To be human is also to be open to vulnerability.

Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.

Brene Brown

What we do is put up barriers to showing our vulnerability so that we are not seen, and we often feel that we are not worthy of connection.

When I think of my own vulnerability, it makes me want to cry, because I have felt unworthy of love and connection. I have believed that somewhere inside of me was something dirty, unclean and not nice.

For many years, I blocked out things that happened in my childhood, things that you would not want your daughter or any female counterpart to experience. But I did, and as I woke up and became more aware, I acknowledged that there are many women who have encountered worse than me. Learning that these were lessons, that happened for me and not to me, in the show called life helped me to deal with my stuff. These ‘things’ have helped me to become more of me if that makes any sense?

None of this stopped me making rubbish choices, and it took a sledgehammer from the Universe to finally convince me that all of my experiences are just that, experiences, lessons in my human life and part of the journey back to the light.

When I could see that the beauty was in the spaces between the experiences and that these did not define me, then I was able to share my vulnerability, because it was no longer shameful.

Why do I start with vulnerability as a lead into compassion?

I believe that to feel compassion for your fellow man you have had to have had something test your courage. That of course, may not be the case for you, but for me having stood in uncomfortable shoes means, I believe that I can stand in another’s shoes in the same way.

It’s being vulnerable ourselves that helps us to know another’s vulnerability and to feel deeper kindness and compassion.

When you have allowed yourself to be vulnerable and opened up, you can begin the letting go process. That’s not to say that you have, more that for me, having been through some tough times has made me more compassionate. Or given me the gift of greater compassion.

It hasn’t been easy showing a part of me that I felt was no-one’s business, but actually, it’s been ok. When I say ok, for some things it was, and for some things, it wasn’t.

Some people have able to see into my soul and hold me, while others have chosen to use what I shared as a weapon. And that is ok too because their soul demanded that they live behind their vulnerability and empathy in this moment and maybe this lifetime. I understand this because I as have become a better witness to (an observer of) human behaviour, I accept that not everyone is the same (and divorce is a wonderful liberator…).

When I was able to lose the fear of baring my soul, it was if my compassionate side grew. I no longer cared if I cried in public when something that tore my heart in two presented itself. Compassion for things that meant something to me blossomed. Don’t get me wrong I can be pretty hard-nosed and dispassionate about many things, I’m not completely soft-centred, but I am gentle, loving and kind and I will go out of my way to make others feel safe and cared for.

There have been many times when I have needed something, and nobody has helped me. That hurts, and I still bear the scars of being deserted when I most needed others to see my pain and vulnerability. But I understand that they did not and do not feel the way that I do (or did), and therefore it’s like using a hammer to crack a nut.

I used to think, wait until they need something and see what happens when no one steps forward. Life doesn’t happen like that does it? Compassion doesn’t flow back and forth, it flows around and touches those that need love and support in that moment and from whoever wants and is able to supply it.

The energy of connection drives us closer, like a magnet or a moth to the light, we provide our open arms where and when they are needed. We cannot not.

As I write this, I feel vulnerable and emotional as I remember being alone and needing. I also smile because no matter what others do or don’t do, I will not stand by and not open my heart to someone I feel drawn to support. They may never give back to me. What they might do instead is remember a time when someone was kind and compassionate to them and pass that baton on.

If you are standing on the edge of vulnerability and wondering if you could or should let it pour forth, what is the worst that can happen? Now consider the best that can happen? And if nothing happened would it matter?

The power of showing up as you comes from within.

The more vulnerable you are, I believe the more powerful you come. This means that you use your vulnerability and personal power in a loving, kind and compassionate way.

The more powerful you become in who you are, the more compassion you can show up for others. Or I’d like to think that you would.

Today, as you consider your life, who you are and the others around you, do you feel that you can be vulnerable with all or some of them? Do you think or feel that as you have opened your heart more that you have become more compassionate? And have you accepted that not everyone feels like you do or will do what you do when called to?

I believe that some of us are deeply compassionate and some aren’t and that for us that are we have to take action when called.

Journal With Me: Creating A Timeline

This morning I was called to intuitively follow this process to uncover what needed to be dealt with.

I never normally journal in the morning, but this morning I felt compelled to delve into my chakra oracle cards. Pulling three out, (release, service and discovery)

I sat and mused over their meaning to me. After writing just one side of A4 I then felt the pull of 101 affirmations and bizarrely open it up on this affirmation…

Today I am open to discovering the root cause.

When I work with affirmations, I always turn them into questions. Today my only question was how would I find the root of what I had just unearthed? In a flash, the answer came:

  • Mini timeline
  • Connect the dots
  • Ponder (code for a doggy walk)
  • Write
  • Sort my ass out and do what I know I can and need to do!

Simples… Let me share with you the whole process I went through.

  • Choose a pack of oracle cards that speak to you
  • Choose between 1 and 3 cards
  • Connect with your breath, focus on the cards and ask what each says to you
  • Journal for 10 minutes
  • Next, pick an affirmation or create one that means something to you in the context of what has come up for you
  • Turn your affirmation into a question
  • Next, do the timeline exercise
  • Reflect and journal

The timelines exercise is a perfect place to begin the journey to discover the roots of an issue. Before you start your timeline, try this breathing exercise, it will put you in a lovely space.

Mindful breathing to soothe your mind

Get comfortable and close your eyes, take a gentle breath, feeling the air going in through your nostrils, into your body, and out of your nose. Connect your roots to Mother Earth and feel connected and grounded.

Breathe in, say, ‘Breathing in, I am calm and connected to the feelings I am experiencing now.’ Breathe out, say, ‘Breathing out, I am calm and connected to the feelings I am experiencing now.’

Allow yourself to feel the feelings; let them be there. Open your awareness to the breath going in, and the breath going out; only focus on this: breath in, breath out. Let the breath take its course, and don’t control it in any way; just notice it.

Let your in-breath and your out-breath fill your mind. That is being mindful of your breath. Keep noticing your in-breath, your out-breath and feel the breath soothing you, comforting you and nurturing you. Feel the inner peace that this brings.

Now surrender. Keep breathing, noticing your in-breath and your out-breath… When you are ready, put pen to paper.

We use timelines and turning points to help us examine the past. We are looking for clues and connection to possibilities and opportunities that might not otherwise seem obvious. Timelines help us to discover locked away thoughts, memories, skills, talents, and experiences, which go to make up your stories. Their value comes from observing and reflecting on what has been captured on your visual storyboard. When you stand back and observe your life, you will gain a lot of clarity. You also need to be prepared to keep walking away to reflect, coming back and trying to see what is missing or what needs moving around. You are looking for patterns, connections, and themes.

Journal with me and try this timelines exercise

Why timelines are so powerful

Timelines are powerful because they are a storyboard, a pictorial representation and humans see things in patterns. It really is as simple as that. The powerful part comes in taking time to stand back and reflect. To let your unconscious mind go into flow and make the connections. When you do this using visually using colour, your story comes alive. Even if you are a person who says I am a logical left-brainer, let me stop you. You have two sides of your brain and regardless of how you want to pigeon hole yourself as a ‘list kind of person’, your brain will do what it wants, and it will use all of its processing power, right side – the big picture, left side – detail and connections.

This exercise will enable you to uncover the book of your life, so hold that in your intention.

How to create a timeline

Start brainstorming

  • Get a large sheet of paper
  • You are going to create a timeline (watch the video)
  • Draw a line across the bottom and one to the left
  • Put your date of birth at one end and today’s date at the far end
  • In between, put blocks of years (chakra years – blocks of 7 years – 1-7 etc.) across the bottom
  • Themes (life areas) along one side – if you want to (e.g Health and wellbeing, Financial, Mental/emotional, Love/Partner, Family, etc)
  • Armed with post-it notes of a variety of colours and/or coloured pens/pencils, start brainstorming
  • Write the question that you want to focus on at the top
  • As you look at the themes and time zones, let thoughts come into your mind without censorship
  • As a thought comes to mind put it on a post-it and place it where you consider it should go for now. You might use similar colours for certain thoughts or ideas
  • When you have brainstormed, take some time out
  • Later reflect on what you have written, move things around and add more, do not get rid of any
  • When you are ready, start looking for connections, themes and aha moments
  • Consider how your developmental years have impacted your personal growth
  • Use your journal to write about what comes up

Once you can see the connections, you will be able to see where the connections and aha’s are. For example, things that happened in childhood may have created a lack of self-worth as an adult, which in turn has meant that you have always settled for mediocre jobs, rather than becoming an entrepreneur. Health issues could be as a direct result of emotional pain from actions or inactions. Poor relationships maybe a relentless search for someone like (or unlike) your father. Your inability to write and publish a book could be linked to self-worth around being told you were a rubbish speller.

Summary of the journal with me steps

  • Choose a pack of oracle cards that speak to you
  • Choose between 1 and 3 cards
  • Connect with your breath, focus on the cards and ask what each says to you
  • Journal for 10 minutes
  • Next, pick an affirmation or create one that means something to you in the context of what has come up for you
  • Turn your affirmation into a question
  • Next, do the timeline exercise
  • Reflect and journal

When you have done this ask yourself what did you learn and what is your next step?

What journey of discovery are you on today?

If this resonates and you want to work with an intuitive coach who will help you to traverse the heady world of being human through the chakras and journaling, please book a call.

How To Create A Living Vision Board

What is a vision board?

In the simplest terms, a vision board is a collection of images that represent a goal from your bucket list. The aim of this tool is to focus your energy on a particular goal/dream/desire you have. As you find and display the images, you hone your sense of what you want to achieve, making your goals increasingly more concrete.

Vision boards are unique to the person, making them, you can use them to represent any part of your life. There are no rules to size or how you do them. I have a mini-board which is cork one side and a blackboard on the other, and I have a bigger one, which is cork one side and a magnetic whiteboard on the other side.

How does vision boarding work?

Vision boarding is straightforward, and it works because you are focusing your attention on what you want. For example, suppose you want to manifest love with a specific person. In this case, your vision board might show fictional or famous couples you’d like to emulate, pictures of places you’d like to go, rings, words of love and anything that means true love to you.

Alternatively, imagine that your dream is to own a successful business. Your vision board might include images of other successful business owners who are role models to you, along with some motivational quotes and affirmations.

The power of vision boards for manifesting

Now that you have a better sense of what a vision board looks like, how you make one and how it is used to facilitate particular life goals, let’s take a closer look at how and why this technique is so powerful.

Firstly, remember that the Law of Attraction tells us to focus on abundance rather than lack. In other words, it’s only when we focus on positivity, gratitude and on what we already have that we’re able to attract more goodness into our lives.

Secondly, vision boards can help you overcome limiting beliefs you have about yourself. Each time you choose an image that shows what you want to attract, you challenge that critical inner voice that says I don’t deserve that! or I could never have that. When you create a vision board, you commit to your limitless potential and nurture your sense of self-worth.

In addition, consider that having a vision board around helps to keep your mind constantly aware of the things that you want that are on your bucket list. Even when you’re not looking directly at your board, your subconscious mind will be tuned in to its presence. And the more you focus on the things you want to attract, the more likely you are to manifest them at a faster rate. Also, reviewing your vision board can reframe your mood and help you to see the things that you want in your life.

The secret to boards

First, here’s the secret to creating an effective vision board, that to attract what you truly want, you must see it, you must feel it, and you must embody it. Just having just one of these, lessens its effectiveness. In other words, pictures alone aren’t going to move the needle.

So what does? To help you create the best vision board for getting clear on what you want and making stuff happen for the year ahead, here are the essential steps:

Make a list of the areas of your life that are most important to you

Maybe you’ve been daydreaming about the perfect partner, new career, writing a novel or a far-flung holiday. Light a candle and take some space for you to tune in and clarify what you really want—including all of the juicy details. You may want to start with a stream of consciousness writing just to get your initial thoughts out, and then identify the stuff that really lights you up. What about writing out the bucket list for your soul – have you done that? And when was the last time your *really* identified what you wanted?

Define your goals

Before you start creating your vision board, it’s vital that you get a clear sense of what you want so that you can create the right overall theme for the board. To get started ask these questions

Who do you want to be?

  • What kind of person do you want to be?
  • How do you want others to see you?
  • Which words do you want to be used to describe your future self?

Where do you want to be in life?

Where can mean location, environment or where you want to be in life?

What experiences do you want to have?

Next, consider the kinds of experiences that you want to have specifically related to your goal(s). What do you imagine doing, and what will it feel like? The perfect day exercise helps with this.

What vision board (life areas) categories do you want to have?

You can have vision board categories on the one board, representing a range of goals.

These may be interrelated, or they may represent different parts of your life. Remember, too, that you also have the option to create more than one vision board, so you needn’t break one board up into categories if you’d prefer to keep each one thematically tight. I have my mini one for my top goals.

Grab some magazines you love, head over to Pinterest or Canva

Look at your bucket list and scan it closely for any themes that are showing up. For example, if you want to be a spiritual coach, select photos of inspiring people and things. If you want to be a speaker, grab images of people speaking. Or if you want to call in more abundance, photos of entrepreneurial or successful people and money might work for you. The key is to not overthink it, just go with your gut and have fun. Remember you are spending time on your intention, and giving it energy.

Map out your images on your board

Do this before pining anything. Your vision board can either be completely filled up or have lots of empty space. Either way is totally fine. You can allow that empty space to inspire you, knowing that as you go about your days and weeks, you’ll uncover more parts of your dreams and goals to add to your board.

Note: use pins so that you can move your images around.

Hang your board where you’ll see it often

Some people like to make their vision board small to keep it at work. Others have it next to the mirror in the bathroom, so they see it when they brush their teeth. For me, seeing it on my wall in front of my desk. Walk towards your vision often.

Feel it and be it

Now that you’ve tapped into what you really want and can see it every day, allow yourself to meditate on these visions by consistently imagining them as real. The more excited you get about what you want to create, the more likely you’ll be to attract it into your life.

The power of visualization

The power of consistent visualization comes from creating good habits that keep your vision alive. If you keep doing creative visualization exercises and keep building up your vision board, you train yourself to think about what you want in a positive way. You can think of your vision board as a constantly evolving image of your desires, rather than a static image of one day’s interpretation of those desires.

Keep moving things around

The key to a living vision board is that you will keep moving things around. What happens when you stick things down is that they stay there and you lose focus. Make sure you review it each week and move things that require focusing on that week.

Write your to-do’s down

If you have a vision board that is half cork and half black or whiteboard, then make sure you write your to do’s down and tick them off.

Record your successes

You can take snapshots of your board and put these in a folder and reflect on what happened and record your successes. This is a great reminder that the things that you have focused on are working.

That’s it, simple as….

Book in for a Power Hour and let’s delve into what would make your vision work for you and how to bring it alive.

It’s Never Too Late To Manifest Your Hearts Desires

Lockdown and what has come to pass has changed me – has it changed you? It has made me reflect me and do a massive declutter. But most importantly it got me thinking about a life of purpose and meaning and I started to think of my dreams and hearts desires.

Did you know that I want to write a novel? Maybe or maybe not. When I was in my last relationship everything felt that it was being destroyed. But the dream never left me.

When I started to design Writing to Heal – Journey Of The Heart I went back to basics. I travelled through my energy centres (chakras) and worked with them to get to the heart of what I wanted. This is why I called it Writing To Heal – Journey Of The Heart.

I deeply connected with this desire to write fiction and I used my own process to work through my blocks (what more blocks…) and beliefs and there is now a book cover mockup proudly sitting on my vision board.

What I have noticed is that so many people still dream of creating a life of purpose and meaning, where they listen to their hearts and manifest magic but think they can’t for some reason. I get it…

It’s like they are frozen at the crossroads of their life wondering how to jump out of their comfort zone and into the field of possibilities.

They believe it’s too late, that they are too old for that specific dream or they don’t have the skills to reach for what they want.

But the truth is it’s never too late to follow your dreams and claim your hearts desires.

My mum is an amazing example of someone who thought she couldn’t write and who has now written 7 books. She amazes me.

Want to manifest your heart’s desire?

Here are 7 points for you to mull over – let me know what resonates. Grab your journal and explore…

  • Your identity is not set in stone. Many of the things you believe about who you are and want to become have quite possibly come from others’ opinions that have been projected onto you. Is it time to stop living the life that other people think is right for you? What if you decided to stand in your power and speak your truth?
  • Some dreams and hearts desires simply seem too big to achieve. If that is the reason you think it’s too late, try breaking the dream down into small steps or stages. I’m laughing at myself on this one. Who me, write a novel…? List the steps and keep it simple.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.

Henry David Thoreau
  • There are many people of all ages going after their hearts desires. Many have faced decades of disappointment and unfulfilled lives. They discovered later in life that they have the resilience, experience, and self-knowledge to pursue their purpose. Think Louise Hay or JK Rowling… Age is not a barrier. Start today and go after what you want.
  • Let go of regrets. As you get older, you don’t want to be filled with regret because you didn’t try to do the things you loved or attempt to obtain what you longed to do in life. Remember Bronnie Ware and the regrets of the dying? It’s powerful stuff. I for one don’t want to leave without a) writing that first novel and b) inspiring you to find purpose and meaning in your life. Look at your book of regrets and pick one thing that you want to let go of. Then start your next adventure today.
  • Being remembered well. Following your dreams and hearts desires influence the mark you leave on the world and how you will be remembered. We cannot force legacy on others, but how we live our lives will shape how we are remembered. How do you want to be remembered?
  • Just take one step. Any aligned step you take towards your dream and heart’s desire gets you closer to success. Many believe it’s too late to follow their dreams because they would be taking a step backwards. In reality, the past is a place of reference and right now is the best time to become and be. What is your next aligned step to being able to manifest your heart’s desire?
  • Ask for support. Other people will help and encourage you on your journey if you let them know that this is your way forward. Look out for those people who will support you as you become the best version of yourself. And I am sure you will make new friends along the way. I’ve just met an amazing new friend called Lisa and I feel so blessed. Who is on your A-team?

All you need to remember is that you are never too old to go towards your hearts desires and to manifest the magic you deserve and desire. All you have to do is decide what you want and take action to go after it.

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

Henry David Thoreau

Join the Journey Of The Heart Waiting list and discover what you want and who you want to become.

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