Blogs - Page 4 of 9 - Dale Darley

Gluten free banana bread

This gluten free banana bread is super easy to make and can be amended to suit your diet. So if you are vegan, swap the eggs for soaked chia or psyllium husks.

Today when I made this banana bread, I used up lots of left over flours. So I used a mix of rice, quinoa and soya flour.

Ingredients list

  • 300g/2 cups rice flour (or combination of flours – try your own mix) or use almond or coconut flour
  • 1 tbsp raw honey/maple syrup / sweet freedom (can replace with Stevia or Xylitol for Candida free) or you can soak a handful of dates and blend them
  • 1 packet baking powder
  • 125g olive oil / coconut oil / butter
  • 2 – 3 eggs*
  • 2 – 3 large ripe bananas – mashed (use Sweet potato for candida free)

*options

1 egg = 1 tablespoon of flax meal or chia + 3 tablespoons water
1 egg = 3 tablespoons nut butter
1 egg = 1 teaspoon psyllium seed husk + 1/4 cup water (let it stand for 5 minutes; use = binding and moisture)

Other optional ingredients

I will often add . Another yummy ingredient is papaya or try adding raw chocolate and raw grated beetroot.

Directions for your gluten free banana bread

  1. Pre-heat oven to 180 (my gas oven mark 3)
  2. Place flours and baking powder in a bowl and mix well
  3. Rub in butter or oil, until it is like fine breadcrumbs
  4. Add honey/maple/sweet freedom syrup
  5. Mix in beaten eggs (or substitute – see above)
  6. Add in banana little by little until you get dropping consistency
  7. Put into a greased bread tin
  8. Cook for approx. 40 minutes or until your knife comes out clean

Using a food processor

  1. Add all of the wet ingredients to the food processor and blend for a few minutes
  2. Add all of the dry ingredients and blend until well mixed

Other options to made your gluten free banana bread yummy

  • Cinnamon
  • Raw chocolate
  • Raw chocolate and beetroot
  • Lemon and poppy seeds
  • Chopped up dates (do not use if you want to be candida free)
  • Goji berries (do not use if you don’t eat nightshades)
  • Nuts (obviously do not use if you have a nut allergy)
  • Ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg

Basically, add in other stuff that you fancy.

Louise Hay, life lessons, affirmations and why giving up is not an option

My first thoughts were yesterday when it was announced that Louise Hay had died peacefully were ‘she published her first book at 50 and look at what she created.’

It is this inspiration that I often see quoted when people talk about writing books, starting something new or overnight success. It is truly never too late to start again, publish a book, learn something new, reinvent yourself, because if there is one thing that this powerhouse of a woman taught is ‘you can do this.’ She also embodies the notion that giving up is not an option. Of course, you must give the rubbish up, but never give up on you and your dreams.

I have two packs of Louise Hay cards by the side of my computer, along with an Angel (not the furry one, a pewter one) and some crystals.

Today’s wisdom from the I can do it deck is

‘I get plenty of sleep every night. My body appreciates how I take care of it.’

After a long hot summer where I have been unable to sleep properly for over six weeks, I have blessed the coming of the recent storms because for two nights I have slept and I feel like new. It’s like the old has been washed away, new energy and a way of seeing the world a new has arrived.

The other side of the card also resonates with me, as you’d expect…

‘I loving do everything I can to assist my body in maintaining perfect health.’

I’m beginning to wonder if Louise is in the room with me. Yesterday, I had an angry day, and an injury which has been healing well raised its ugly head as my even uglier emotions took hold. Within a short space of time, I was in pain. Luckily as I am emotionally intelligent I could see what was happening and because I am anger aware I knew that this was a message for me. Our bodies are so freaking intelligent.

Louise Hay teaches in her book. You can heal your life that our thoughts create our life experiences. That the way to happiness, inner peace and contentment is learning to love yourself.

‘Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. Louise Hay’

I learned that an injury to the back left side ribs is as you would expect is about support, the past and carrying guilt which creates pain.

‘The left side of the body is often regarded as the feminine side, the receiving side, where you take in. It represents, among other things, the mother.’

Without going into too much detail about my injury and life, this will come as no surprise as it is spot on. The way forward is to forgive, let go and let love.

‘Forgiveness is for yourself because it frees you. It lets you out of that prison you put yourself in. Louise Hay’

‘Forgiveness is for yourself because it frees you. It lets you out of that prison you put yourself in. Louise Hay’

When I think about growing up and the environment that I found myself in, it wasn’t the greatest. It didn’t lack in love, more that it was hard to demonstrate it because of many conflicts. For myself, early sexual abuse and later being groomed meant that I carried a huge burden of guilt and I certainly did not know how to love myself.

‘If your mother did not know how to love herself, or your father did not know how to love himself, then it would be impossible for them to teach you to love yourself. They were doing the best they could with what they had been taught as children. Louise L. Hay’

When my dad died, mum and I said that we would remember the man, not the behaviour and would continue to love him. My dad was awesome; you just wouldn’t want to be married to him. Parents teach us a lot, but we can teach them too and while they don’t get given a manual for dealing with life, neither do we. However, parents can become friends and trusted partners, and if you allow it, together, you can both grow. That’s what mum and I have done. We have learned just a little bit more about forgiveness and self-love. It is never too late to see your parents with new eyes, and one would hope that they can see into your soul too.

It does matter what age you are, giving up on things that are important to you is not an option. Here are three things that I am thinking about today in light of the life, celebration and times of Louise Hay.

 1. It’s never too late to start

This incredible woman published her first book; You can heal your life aged 50. Five O! How amazing is that? If you have something you want to do, now seems like a good time to me. Surround yourself with supporters, people who believe in you as you do yourself and champions who get your ‘cause’. Never give up on yourself or your dreams.

'What you choose to think about yourself and about life becomes true for you. Louise Hay'

‘What you choose to think about yourself and about life becomes true for you. Louise Hay’

2. There is a lot of wisdom in your body

Every single moment of the day, your body is speaking to you. Stop what you are doing and breathe into all of the spaces in turn. What do you notice? Never stop listening to your body and doing the right things to support it, so that it supports you.

'When there is a problem, there is not something to do, there is something to know. Louise Hay'

‘When there is a problem, there is not something to do, there is something to know. Louise Hay’

3. Be you

There is an Oscar Wilde quote which I love ‘be yourself; everyone else is taken.’ When you learn to love yourself, you can (I promise) be you. Not the you that others expect or the one you think you should display, the you that is just you.

'I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life, and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it. Louise Hay'

‘I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life, and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it. Louise Hay’

Louise Hay – October 8, 1926 – August 30, 2017

I am sure you will have your thoughts about the life and works of Louise Hay. She has left an incredible legacy. You can too because it is never too late to learn to love you, be you and share what you have learned about yourself.

Just think of all of the lives she has touched. Imagine if you could touch just one other person, who touches another and so on – how that make change the world. That could be your legacy. Giving up is not an option.

In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete.

Please do share your Louise Hay learnings and experiences.

Resources

The left side of the body is often regarded as the feminine side, the receiving side, where you take in. It represents,…

Posted by Louise Hay on Tuesday, 28 May 2013

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Simple tools for listening to your body

Have you tried listening to your body? There is a lot of advice about how to hear what your body is saying. It’s all useful. However, you have to discover the way in which your body speaks to you. If you have tried numerous ways and they are not working, it is simply that you haven’t found the right way for listening to your body, you have given up too soon, and don’t trust what you are hearing.

Listening to your body is not difficult, more that we make it difficult by not having the faith that we can hear what it has to offer.

Take a moment now and scan your body in any way that feels right. What do you notice? Anything? Any words come into your head? Pain? Tingles? What?

Every day millions of signals are being sent around your amazing body. Think about this, how do you know when you need water or food or what time to go to bed? That is your body telling you ‘hey, I’m hungry or sleepy.’ What you do next with the signal is up to you. Even when your body says it’s hungry, you may punish it for speaking by feeding it a Snickers (how could you!) instead of something nutritious. Then there are the signs that something more serious is happening, and if you do not heed these messages, then chances are you will get a communication that you do not enjoy.

Signs that something is wrong, and you are not listening to your body

No pain, no gain

I used to weight train obsessively. Going for the burn and pushing myself further and further. It is no wonder that there were times that I didn’t want to get up at 5 am and head to the gym. However, I rarely listened, fearing that I would lose my fitness or worse still my thin body would get fat if I didn’t go. Afterwards, I’d tell myself that it was enjoyable. Sometimes, I was lying.

It wasn’t until in my early 30’s did I slow up and then it was only because my body said no more. It put out signals that I had pernicious anaemia. As my great grandmother had died from it, somehow it made sense. One day not long after my 3 B12 injection, I heard a small voice saying ‘you don’t have it, you’ve stressed your body, eat differently and try to relax.’ Being the curious and competitive type, I set out to prove that I did not have this illness. 12 months later, changes in diet and lifestyle and I was proven right.

This was not the first time that I was to prove the doctors wrong after I had not listened to my voice. It was also not to be the first time I changed my diet to find a solution. My problem was that although I learnt that nutrition was one of the keys I consistently waited until pain came.

Pain is a huge signal that you are not listening to your body

Pain is a signal that you are not listening to your body

Pain can come from an immediate trauma (you fall over) or from a long hidden and neglected emotional issue or both. When we choose to ignore emotional issues they find a way of screaming at you and no surprise that a body part starts to hurt. Accidents are a way of highlighting an emotional issue. At the time it feels like an accident, but I know that not to be true.

There are many books that you can refer to which will tell you what the underlying emotion for a presenting physical pain is. One such book is Louise Hay’s You can heal your life. Books like this are a good start, in that they get you exploring and thinking. However, you must find your answers and you can only do this when you get to know your body intimately.

Explore your body as you read this, is there a pain or niggle anywhere? Ask it (I know that might seem silly, but try) why it is hurting. Trust what comes back. I did something to my ribs which resulted in a constant stabbing pain (among other things). When I asked, I was told that I had been stabbed. It wasn’t the first time that I had experienced this stabbing, and I have been told that I had been stabbed in a past life; I had just forgotten.

When I went inside this time to explore. The words came back that this was related to a past life, which has come forward now as a wise council. I learnt that I needed to slow down, and I had to stay away from needy, bullying people. Again this was not the first time my back has reacted to this kind of individuals. I had a pattern of attracting people that were not right for me. It also confirmed what I’d read about guilt.

Your body never lies

Disturbed sleep

Not sleeping properly is a clear sign that something is amiss. Persistent insomnia is telling you that you have something to address. When I wasn’t sleeping in my perimenopausal years, it turned out to be because of an undiagnosed thyroid issue. After not sleeping for two years, I radically changed my diet (again), and as I started to feel better, I was determined to find out why. I don’t know why, but I do know now that the doctor at the time had ignored my blood test results telling me that all was well. However, through changes I made, I sorted it out. Naturally, I wish too that I had changed my diet immediately rather than after trying far too many other solutions.

“Learning to make space for the breath is fundamental to health. The mind and breath are intimately connected. Our practice should open the heart, calm the mind and expand the breath. If we can do that, we open the door to managing stress, reacting less and sleeping well” Anandi

Tired all the time

Being tired all the time seems to be an epidemic. So many people say that they are tired. Chances are they are eating a rubbish diet, not drinking enough water, not taking time out or getting any fresh air. Getting back to a fully topped up battery may seem like an uphill battle. Too weary to prepare nutritious food that your body wants, you many find yourself eating high sugar snacks. All these do is wreck your system. Even if your diet is good, it could be that you are not eating often enough and working all hours. Not only can this be through poor nutrition, but it can also be because you are failing to nourish your soul. Only you can know what is making you tired if you take the time to trust, listen with open eyes and ears.

Can’t be bothered to eat

I have been guilty of this. Busy with my nose in my writing or rushing to finish something I ignore the signs that I need watering and feeding. Later when I stop, I find that I can’t be bothered to prepare something good and go for crackers and cheese. After that doesn’t satisfy me, I reach for something else quick, only to wish that I had bothered to prepare a delicious meal. This laziness can become a not so good habit which in time depletes your body of its vitality and leads to feeling tired, not sleeping or any number of aches and pains. It’s way too easy to lose touch with your body’s signals about what it wants to eat. This is also a way of punishing yourself for something else – what might that be?

Heartburn or indigestion

If you experience these, it is your body telling you that you have eaten something it doesn’t like. Pretty obvious isn’t it? It is also your body telling you that there is something in your life that you are not digesting. Make a note of when this happens. Is it after certain foods or following interaction with someone or something or a combination of things. Just in case you are wondering, yes I have suffered from this and yes I did change my diet. Sadly I didn’t address the people in my life.

Can’t think clearly

Lack of energy, not sleeping, and not nourishing yourself will ultimately lead to a fuzzy brain. Your stomach is your second brain and where you process food and life. If what you put in is not providing the right nutrients then it is no wonder you cannot think. Your brain needs water and glucose. If you refuse it water, for example, it will send out distress signals, which invariably you will interpret as hunger. Fooled into thinking, you are hungry; typically you will reach for a sugary snack. Ouch, once again you have punished your body for talking to you and further fuelling your cloudy vision.

Listening to your body can start right now

As you can see your body has many blunt ways of communicating with you. It starts off whispering and when you don’t listen, clobbers you quite violently. It says ‘Oi you, yes you! You didn’t listen, so have this. Bosh!’

Now is as good a time as any to start to communicate with your body. No matter where you find yourself, make a choice right now that no matter how hard this seems at first, you will get connected and stay connected.

Tools for listening to your body

Relaxation

Before you can hear anything you need to be in a relaxed state. One of the simplest ways of doing this is to have a bath. Other methods include massage, reflexology, walking, meditating and sitting quietly in a space that promotes calm. There is something quite powerful about the simple life.

Breath

Breath

I’ve learnt an incredible amount about breath from my amazing client and friend Anandi (aka The Sleep Guru). She has written called The Surrendered Breath. It describes the five vayus (five parts of prana or breath) and how breath can promote well-being and sleep. What Anandi teaches are ways to connect to the breath and how to send it to different parts of the body. In using the breath in a variety of ways, you create a space for communication to occur. Put your hands on your tummy and practice breathing into your hands. Keep it slow and steady and if rubbish comes into your head, count. As you find ways to connect to your breath, you will hear your body talking to you.

Minds eye

I am not quite sure how to describe this. What I do is connect to my third eye which is between my normal eyes and send it off around my body exploring what is going on. You can send it into all of your nooks and crannies. Have an open mind to what comes back. Like the breath, you’ll get all kinds of information coming back to you.

Hands

using your hands

Place your hands on the spot that hurts and ask ‘what’s going on, what do you want to tell me, what else do I need to know?’ Your hands are fabulous communication transmitters. I often put one hand on my heart and one on my solar plexus and have a chat.

Voices in your head

Sitting quietly contemplating some of my aches and how I could support my body, I received a message ‘pea protein’. At this point in my life, I am quite used to getting odd words or pictures in my head, so as soon as I heard this, I went to explore it. As a veggie, it was my bodies way of say here is another source of protein that will be useful, please buy me some.

Dreams

All kinds of messages can come in dreams. How you interpret the words and pictures are as individual as you are. Again, dream books are useful but more useful is asking yourself what the images mean to you. You dream in metaphors, and these are particular to you. I once dreamt of a thing called a yarrow pea; it was enormous. When I researched yarrow, I discovered that it was excellent for hot flushes.

Tingles in your tum

When I am planning something to eat, I ask my tum what it wants. Yeah, I know barking mad. However, as I start to pull a dish together, it gives me a signal of what to put with what. And who am I to argue with a tummy?

Pendulum

Your pendulum knows

A tool that I was introduced to almost thirty years ago is a pendulum. Today I have many and use the one that I feel attracted to for the question I have. I will make a video to show you how I use it later in the week. Your pendulum connects and communicates with your unconscious and responds with a yes or no to a question. I typically use it which foods to eat when. Again more on this in another blog.

Which tool is right for listening to your body?

The only advice I can give you is that you try things out and find out what works for you. My favourites are my hands and my pendulum. However, I am grateful for the words and pictures that come seemingly unbidden.

Stop ignoring your body

This human container which is made up of energy which is connected to and resonates with the Cosmos and therefore all wisdom. It has its own innate divine wisdom and as such is an incredible device for telling you what you need to know. Acknowledge it, love it, work with it and you will receive the knowledge about how to improve your well-being.

Begin today

Begin today. Like anything, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Ultimately, only you can listen, and work out what your body is saying and which tools to use. Are you listening to your body?

Rebuild the inner bridges to self-love with these 3 simple ideas

My monkey brain chatters and spits out vile discordant rhymes. She cackles as she tightens her grip on my heart of desires. Delighting in grievous gossip as she holds the floor with my many parts. A mad conductress flipping her baton in time to some other dance which is not mine. At least not what my heart truly desires.

The many parts of me discuss and dissect me and decide what I should be doing. They have another agenda and it’s not what is inside my heart. My beautiful heart full of wisdom, love and lessons to share.

I stand my ground. Why do these parts think that they can dictate how I do things? They must know that I hate to be told? Is that it? Are they revelling in their power and control over me? These parts are just that parts and can be overruled. I can make conscious decisions. I can be a child of the Cosmos, full of cosmic wonder. I can create inner bridges and bring together the many squabbling animals that run riot in my brain so that we can sing one harmony. The harmony of my heart.

The cruel words which lived too long in my heart and spent a lifetime being heard are no more.

I made a choice to unite the Monkey of doubt, frustration and uncertainty with the Fairy of delight – that inner child who wants to bring laughter, light and love into to my heart.

If you were anything like me you have lived with a heart full of self-limiting beliefs and a chasm a mile wide to your divine inner wisdom, faith, self-love and trust.

Something always wakes us up and then we have to make a choice about what we are going to do about it. Deciding often seems like the easy part once you set a process in motion. Because every day you tell yourself I must do these things. These will help me to heal and build a bridge over my troubled waters.

The good news is that it does get easier and the little things that you do work their magic until they are a part of you.

Hidden Content

Building inner bridges to self-love

I always wanted to be loved. I never realised that I had to start with me.

There are many parts of us (self) that sometimes feel conflicted and separate. Like a gap in the gorge, it can seem like an impossible task to create a bridge from one side to the other.

I found that until I worked (yes it was work) with these conflicted parts I really didn’t like me much.

Not that I hated myself – more that when I looked in the mirror the person looking back didn’t feel whole. It took a series of accidents which slowed me right down to enable me to learn to love myself again. When your body changes shape and you are in physical pain you have to make some choices.

Let it define who you are or build some inner bridges.

I hadn’t considered if the bridge was built until someone came to stay. Instead of writing her book, she unravelled before my eyes. I saw me, a younger, unaware, asleep and in pain me and it hurt. I knew we were a gift for each other. Me to see that I had crossed the bridge and I did love myself and for her to see that she would come to love herself. What we needed was courage to move forward.

Bridges don’t just appear, they take work and they need maintaining.

I do little things every day to let myself know that I am worth loving myself. These keep the inner bridges in a good state. What about you? What inner bridges need some loving kindness and compassion applying? What about the things that you have done which could help someone else, what are they?

My dad said to my mum ‘I’ll be your bridge over troubled water.’ He wasn’t, he was the troubled water. No matter, because she too has, despite her 77 years done some deep inner bridge building since he died. It is never too late to start your journey to self-love.

What is your story?

What is the story that runs through your veins that keep the many parts of you separate? Write. I find that connecting to my heart and allowing my muse to guide me always brings out ‘stuff’ that helps me to see the bigger picture of self.

In the analysis of your story to self

What do you discover about yourself, once you have reflected on your tale? How is your story limiting you and holding you back? Can you see why you may not love yourself completely?

Look at your story and allow yourself to be immersed in the story of the parts of you. Next ask, what if you could immerse yourself in your desires? What are these desires? What has to happen to allow you to embrace what it is you really want? How could you build inner bridges and reunite the parts of you that feel scattered?

Here are a few inner bridge building ideas

Reconnect to your dreams

When you disconnect from your dreams, life can feel a bit stuck. What would your ‘perfect’ day look like? Start your day with a wander into your dreams and feel, see, hear, smell, taste and sense of your life. Doing this takes me into a new story of self, where I get to focus on what I want, and this feeds my soul.

Look in the mirror and smile

It is well known that a smile will change how you feel like nothing else. When I take my dogs for a walk, I make a point to smile at anyone I meet. Generally, they smile back. It makes such a difference. Take the time to smile at yourself and watch your mood lift. Even if you think you look a tad bedraggled and perhaps your mood is not the greatest, do it and your day will change.

Speak to yourself with loving kindness

Start to notice how you speak to yourself. These words are etched on your body. While you may tattoo yourself with a positive affirmation, you would not dream of writing your words of hatred on you for all to see. Your body can hear your words. Notice what they are and start to change them.

What I find helps me is to keep post it notes in the kitchen and bathroom and write little love notes to me. I feel fab when I find them (not sure how I could have forgotten I wrote them) and they help reinforce a positive self-image and love. When I find the notes, I say aloud what is on them.

I also start the day by looking in the mirror and saying something loving to me. And whenever I catch myself about to criticise me, I turn it around.

Grab a copy of steps to self-love and create yourself a daily routine that bit by bit helps you to build your inner bridge to self-love.

Resources

Bridge over troubled water lyrics

 

Acknowledging your courage

There are far braver people than me. I do not live in a war-torn country; I have food and clean water, I have no life threatening illnesses to contend with (the overactive thyroid is controlled with diet). I am blessed. However, I am told that I have courage. We never see traits like this in us, do we?

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. We must do what we think we cannot to.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. We must do what we think we cannot to.” Eleanor Roosevelt

All I did was leave someone who was leading a double life. Yes, I left everything behind, moved to a new country and had to find new friends, a new way to run my business and a new way of living. Yes, there have been challenges – that’s a bit of an understatement, to be honest. However, I was lucky, the Universe, I believe had laid out the pathway to here, long before. She created the conditions for relationships to end, enabling a house purchase, discoveries to be made and for me to find my way here. It was all I think pre-ordained. No bravery in pre-destiny. Life may have felt tough at times. There have been many times that I have needed to be strong. There have been many occasions where my confidence and courage have been shaken. In every challenge, without a doubt, that courage and confidence have grown. So that when I needed to leave, although I couldn’t know the outcome, I could take confident steps towards a new future.

I have such deep gratitude for what I have experienced and learned. Being thankful has created conditions that have allowed my courage and confidence to grow. Being surrounded by beautiful souls feeds these. My journey has brought me to a place where the right environment has been created for me to thrive.

Over this last three years, I needed more courage, needed to dig deep. I had to use courage to create change. Little did I know that I would need the courage to enable me to adapt and grow and as a way to prepare for the uncertainty that came (and was to come) my way. You can never be sure of any outcomes, but you can build courage and confidence to ensure that you can take appropriate action towards what you do want.

Being vulnerable and having the Courage to be you

Discovering your connection to your divine inner wisdom, connecting to your purpose, and changing your life is breathtaking. It is probably one of the biggest undertakings of your life because quietly you have been doing it all of your life – you just didn’t realise it.

From the moment you were born, when no one told you that you couldn’t, you just got out there and rocked. Naturally, you were influenced by the people around you. Some of which, despite being well-intentioned doing more harm than good.

If you wanted to wear pink trainers with an orange frock, you did. If you drew a picture, you would run around showing everyone, the same with your stories. So what happened?

Life gets in the way of confidence, and it’s as if people can smell that confidence or lack of it when they meet you. Look at dogs, they greet each other warily and do a lot of sniffing. Either one or both of their tails go up, and then they decide who the top dog is. It is almost instantaneous. You can learn a lot of watching animals. My Ferdy dog struts his stuff, rushes up to everyone for a tickle; he is uber confident that everyone will love him. What’s not to love, he is beautiful and fairly well mannered.

Sadly we lose our connection to our energy source which keeps the flame of confidence and courage burning, somewhere along the way, for all kinds of reasons and that is ok, it is just part of our journey. At some point, though you need to fight the fear, change your mindset and take control of how you want to be perceived and unlock your heart and the gates to heaven. In fact, take the word fear out of the equation and embrace the funny feeling in your tummy and heart. The other side of fear is excitement; you must be feeling that. Feels better, doesn’t it?

Courage is keeping going come what may (while staying out of danger, remaining authentic and ecological), and confidence is not giving in to the fear, rather embracing excitement.

What is courage?

What is it? What does it mean to you? To me, it is simply the ability to embrace whatever life throws at me, with confidence. It’s working with my inner knowing, listening to my intuition and guides and sometimes taking small steps and sometimes big leaps, in the knowledge that I will be caught and I will be held on the way.

Courage comes in many sizes and shapes, from confronting Harry,the spider to making a sacrifice to gain something important. Sacrifice in the sense that you are surrendering the old you, enveloping yourself in your excitement, so that the new you can wake up, become aware and be alive – truly alive.

  1. 1300, from Old French corage(12c., Modern French courage) “heart, innermost feelings; temper,” from Vulgar Latin *coraticum (source of Italian coraggio, Spanish coraje), from Latin cor “heart,” from PIE root *kerd- (1) “heart” (see heart (n.)) which remains a common metaphor for inner strength. In Middle English, used broadly for “what is in one’s mind or thoughts,” hence “bravery,” but also “wrath, pride, confidence, lustiness,” or any sort of inclination. Replaced Old English ellen, which also meant “zeal, strength.

Courageous people have a certain power and control over their destinies, even when they don’t know what is around the corner (how can they?). They know that because their values support the foundations of who they are and they have a healthy mindset (even if it waivers) anything is possible.

Courageous people know in their hearts that there is a deeper purpose for the way that their lives have unfolded.

They have faith. They have love. They are love. They share their inner beauty with the world because they believe that many hearts can make a big difference. Through their very being, they demonstrate courage, love and light.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

What does courage mean to you? Identify when you last showed courage – did you embrace it or brush it off? Think of three people, any three who you believe are courageous, why are they? What you see in them is a reflection of your courage.

Take time today to acknowledge that you have courage. I was confronted with this today, as I started my #1day12vids challenge for www.dayofcourage.com.

I have been taking big breaths and doing the challenge and knowing that while, as I said when I started this blog, that I do not live in a war torn country, I have displayed courage and it’s important to acknowledge and hold it in my heart. Over to you.

PS: Writing a book and taking a journey to self-love is courageous. From the moment you decide to do it to getting it out there

The balance of shadow and light part #1

What does creating balance mean to you? How do you balance the shadow and light in your life?

I see balance as a range of things equally distributed. If we were to imagine a tightrope walker. We have the tightrope walker, the rope, balancing pole and the focus.

Balance

In other words, you, the goal or outcome, the balance we are striving for and the factors that go to shape our journey. All factors become inputs into delivering the result – namely our outcomes, in this instance, creating balance. Balance is created from the relationship that is struck between all of these things. It is about when and where to put your attention. Which part of the balancing act needs your attention and which is the priority at any given time. Creating balance requires constant feedback from all of its factors, where communication, perspective and being in tune with conditions around them are essential.

When I look back over my life I see many shadows, but in the shadows I see light.

Wake up calls come in many guises and it is my belief that waking up is your moment to step out of the shadows and into the light so that you can shine your light and help others to do the same. Your wake up call is your call to lead with conscious love, from a place of balance.

The shadows can teach you a lot about self-love which is a wonderful foundation to live your life from.

In life, we have both shadow and light. There are never just shadows and never just light. We can, however, make the choice about where we focus our attention. For me, shadows and light reflect the stories of our lives.

Shadows and light

In uncovering our shadow stories, it is important to understand that what presents is what needs to be dealt with on the way to deeper self understanding and the root cause of disharmony.

Consider for a moment what your shadow story right at this moment might be. What we must do is trust that what steps out of the shadows now is the current priority and that there will be a gift. Remember that your crappy life and how it has shaped you are in fact your gifts. Gifts that once you unlock the meaning in them, will provide you with wonderful personal insight.

Light is an energy, and we usually think of it in terms of visible light, rather than the invisible light inside of us. Our light always shines brightly it’s just that sometimes dark sludgy shadows get in the way of our ability to see it.

The pathway to your light through your colourful shadow story will create love, truth, happiness (contentment), balance and harmony. You will vibrate at a higher frequency. Becoming aware of your light, like your shadow is another gift.

Are you having a shadow year?

While I might be tempted to tell you what I think of my year, I find myself bored with my stories, instead, I want to tell you that I have arrived at a place where I see gifts in each story and each shadow. There may be times that make us feel like we are living in shadows, but I have come to see they are places to rest. – to regain balance and perspective.

Let me explain. In the heat of the summer when I am out walking my doggies, even in the late evening I find myself jumping in the shadows to cool down and rest a while. Standing in the cool gives me a chance to stop marching ahead and consider what is around me. Conversely, in the winter, there are no shadows for me, I’m looking for the sun to heat me up. It’s all a matter of perspective.

Perspective

Back to our tightrope walker, who if they do not communicate, maintain a perspective, have their senses finely tuned (think wind and temperature and rope tension) and create an agreement with all parts of the equation, how would he or she keep their balance and reach their destination? Those key skills and the relationship between all aspects are what keeps the balance and enable our tightrope walker to reach their goal – the other side. It is, I am sure you will agree, a delicately calibrated dynamic process.

We, you and me are the pivot point in the creating balance equation. We are a pivot because we make decisions, define the strategy and set the direction on the allocation of our energy and resources. We have the responsibility to consider all aspects of our lives. We need a holistic approach when considering how to strike balances between all of the competing things in our busy lives. Not to mention, love and laughter… Creating balance is an imperative, and remember too much of a good thing is a bad thing – most people will die if they breathe 100% oxygen!

A balanced approach to life and personal development acknowledges every person and their lives are different and we are all at different places in our lifecycle, therefore, different approaches to creating balance are necessary. As is keeping a healthy perspective of what is happening for you.

A process and a plan

When the shadows feel too much I know it’s time for a time out. What works for me is to have a mental check in. I could sit down and write up a life balance sheet, but, I intuitively know where and when I am out of whack. This is when I take time out, write, walk and reflect.

When we make the choice to create balance, between our shadow and light, our next step is considering what the shadow story means to us and then how we plan our journey forward.

Create balance, explore shadow and light, see the gifts in the shadows, create the plan and do the work. If the plan is not in place, and action taken, creating balance will never be achieved.

Creating balance

Creating balance in my life is important, more important than it has ever been. My outlook on life has changed radically in the last few years and balance means that I get to do what I love, have to do and have time for me. The days of being a workaholic are over. Work becomes meaningless when you are striving and not expanding.

Much better to focus on a few things that woven mindfully together create inner peace and contentment. I’m learning more about faith and trust and balancing these against fear. Weighing up the options, it seems to me that the rushing to be somebody or something is not where success lies, rather being and flowing bring expansion and transformation. I feel as if I have been there and got the T-shirt and it no longer fits. What fits is the lifestyle I have created which feeds my soul.

More importantly in my journey to self-love, I can now answer easily – do I love myself enough to…

When I am balanced and at peace, I can better serve the world. The value I bring is from years of experience and being connected to my divine inner wisdom. Never has my intuition and insight been so great and I love the gentleness that I have. The wild child is still there, but now she plays and laughs rather than cries and causes a ruckus. My EVE-olution will never be complete, however, being in balance and harmony with who I am and what I can bring feels good.

In summary

  1. Look for the gifts
  2. Create process and plan that works in the way that works for you
  3. Maintain perspective
  4. Know what is important to you and your life

Back to my questions. What does creating balance mean to you? How do you balance the shadow and light in your life?

Are you on a journey to self-love and would like a sounding board, someone to help you create more balance in your life? Get in touch and let’s explore.

Forgiveness, faith and love

How is your Sunday?
 
Today started with that awful urgency to wee. This is day four of a parasite cleanse, and I feel rough. My head is buzzing, but not in a nice way. My nose is itching and running, my lips are tingling, and I cannot think.
 
Through the grogginess, I remembered I had wanted to be up with the full moon to burn my letters and notes about forgiveness, faith and love.
 
But my body can’t move.
 
There are two dogs on the bed, and the youngest wants her walk. She licks me. She is funny, gentle and often times willful. The little puppy that I found has truly become an Angel. 
 
Dragging myself up, I potter around, take the first of the herbs with a glass of water and ready myself for the walk. I had wanted to walk to the top of the world. It’s a tough walk on the lungs, but worth it when you see the views. This walk always makes me think of perspectives. Today my body says not far. The hills won’t be going anywhere, and when the cleanse is over, I can bounce up and roll back down.
 
We don’t get far when the dogs run off. Exhausted I collapse onto a rock and put my hands in my head. The body is weak; I am weak, but also so strong. The parasites that have been holding me in their toxic grip need to go.
 
Wandering back home, I wonder how I can put one foot in front of the other. I do, I always do. No matter what shit life throws my way, I get up, and I carry on. In this moment despite the physical symptoms, I am content and have a comforting inner peace. 
 
In my quieter moments, I wonder what is this all about?
 
Life, when I look back, has not been easy. Of course, I remind myself, I signed up to this. And I remember I came to experience being human.
 
Being, being the operative word. Not doing, just BEing.
 
The Rosemary is in the log burner. I look at my journal; I don’t want to read what I wrote last night. There are a few things I want to add, and then I can set it alight. Let the flames fan forgiveness, help me to hold on to my faith and be open to love.
 
What I want most of all for me, and everyone is inner peace and contentment. That’s what success is for me.
 
Of course, there are other things I want, but right now this FEELS like the most important thing.
 
I gather together the rest of the things for my cleanse. The Castor oil pack for my liver. The Epsom salts for my foot bath. Water to sip.
 
The coffee for the enema has been prepared.
 
Too weary of doing anything now, I sit quietly my feet in the water and ask to be shown what’s next.
 
What are you doing today to honour yourself?

How To Forgive Others And Find Personal Contentment

When you can forgive others you will find a way to forgive yourself and then personal contentment will find you

What does to forgive really mean?

Forgive means to let go. It doesn’t mean to forget or to condone the actions of others or yourself. It is a powerful opportunity to declutter your shit and let go of the past. It means that you can open a space to the beautiful soul that you resides within you. In the shadow of unforgiveness lies fear, guilt and shame. In the light is inner peace and contentment.

 

Walking in the rambla with my dogs is the perfect place to meditate. Only yesterday I felt low, rock bottom low. Surround by beauty, I ask myself so what’s the problem? My friends love me for my generosity of spirit and of course, my mum adores her little girl. Something was troubling me and there was only one person to chew this over with – my mum.

Years ago I sat with her on the beach surrounded by families chatting, playing games and performing other normal family beach activities. That day I needed to tell her something that I knew would drive a knife into her heart. This was the moment when I would pluck up the courage to tell my mum about not only the babysitter who had sexually abused me but also the couple who had groomed me.

She sat amidst the noise without a change in her expression. Almost as if I’d said ‘hey mum what’s the time?’ The lioness was processing the information. Her heart felt as if it had been ripped from her chest. Yet her love for me held her together.

Over the years we have talked about many things, openness and love give us strength. We are not mother and daughter but soul sisters journeying Mother Earth.

We chatted and she said you know I think that although you feel that you have dealt with the past and you have intellectually rationalised it, you are holding onto it and that’s why you are in such pain still.

The truth is I didn’t need to be told this, I had felt it in my heart for some time, but couldn’t and wouldn’t acknowledge it. Only because I had rationalised it already and therefore it was dealt with – wasn’t it?

I felt the old I am strong I don’t need help I can fight this Jacqui rise up to defend herself. Instead, I met a gentle open soul who said yes mum it’s time to let go. Although in that moment I did not know how.

Later that evening I started a new journal for this fresh start and asked the question what would it mean to forgive others and myself so that I felt more content?

What forgiveness means to me

Forgiveness means to let go. FOR GIVE NESS. TO LET GO.

I live my life by a four point plan

  1. Juice – How can I bring more juice to my life?
  2. Eliminate – How can I eliminate what does not serve me?
  3. Nourish – How can I nourish my soul?
  4. Write – What does my soul want to tell me?

 

When I stay focused on these, I can always find a way to resolve my stuff.

 1. Understand what you will get when you forgive

What will I get when you forgive others for what they have done and this includes what you perceive that they have done? It’s not only others but you must find it in your heart to forgive yourself for how you feel about what has happened to you. You must also look at where you have wronged others and seek forgiveness for those acts. For the moment we are looking at forgiving others.

I find the five-word mini mind map helps me with this. First I start with forgive in the middle and write five words about what that means to me. E.g. forget, pardon, ignore, neglect, overlook. And then I add a new branch and ask what will I get? E.g. power (personal), courage, space, peace, pain-free, contentment. After which I can explore what this means to me in my journal.

2. Identify those that you feel need your forgiveness

This can include perpetrators of ‘crimes’ against you to those that have crossed your values. There will always be degrees of people and behaviours. I find getting the toughest out of the way first worked for me. I say this because when you start at the root and work your way up you will also notice how the things that happened because of source hurts have affected and infected other areas of your life and these too can be healed. A bit like a domino.

3. Acknowledge your feelings

This can be hard. For so long I have stuffed down feelings of anger and resentment for the people who have stolen something very precious from me. However, in the mire are so many gifts. Anger and resentment do not disappear overnight because they have a way of leaking out and presenting themselves in other parts of your life and in your body. What are the feelings that rise up when you think of others?

4.    Forgive

How to let go is the question? There are many ways to do this. Mine is to journal, to then write each of them letters which get burned with rosemary. Typically I will do this on a full moon.

You might write in your journal and then set an intention to let go. You may see cords coming from your body to theirs and cut them. What is important is that you find your way.

Not forgiving is like drinking poison

There is a saying that revenge is like eating poison and expecting the other person to die, well that’s what not forgiving does. It invades your system like a worm, a parasite that slowly embeds itself in your colon and sucks the nourishment from you soul.

To live a juicy, decluttered and nourished life we must let go. If only it were as easy as drinking softened linseeds eh?

How will you embrace letting go this full moon?

As I say my greatest ally is my journal and my writing. When you are ready to explore your soul and what might be slowing your personal growth, please contact me.

Unboxing the many parts of me that stand in the way of my dreams

This journaling exercise will allow you to explore your hidden desires. It’s all about unboxing the many parts of you that stop you from doing what you really desire. There will be dreams that you have that you are shutting yourself off because of your monkey chatter. It is related to fear, but what is fear?

  • False evidence appearing real
  • Forget everything and run
  • Find excuses and rationalisation
  • Face everything and rise
  • Feel everything and rejoice

Fear is what you want it to be. It can support your smallness, or it can support your greatness it is your choice.

In this exercise I want you to explore what is in the box and what are the many parts of you that are stopping what is in the box coming out. Find a quiet time, open your journal, take a few deep breaths, connect to your muse and write.

Unboxing the many parts of me that in the way of my dreams

What I want is to write. There are books that are welling up inside of me. I want them to come to life. To feel that childlike excitement when you know that you are going to do your most favourite thing.

When I think of Puppy With No Name, I fall even more deeply in love with Angel who inspired this story. When Marley And Her Moo came to me, I danced with her, she just saw it as another opportunity to cover me in licks. Ferdy’s story has yet to come; I am sure it will. My love for them cascades. They inspire me, my children of the furry kind.

These stories are in a box which says you can do this when… When you’ve done the other things, the business things and the things of life.

My monkey brain gets in the way. She sits on my box of desires and strikes up a conversation with another part. They discuss me and decide what I should be doing, and it’s not what is inside my box. My luscious box of doggie stories.

How I hate that word should. Why do these parts think that they know better than me? Don’t they know I hate to be told? Just like I hate rude, small minded people and bullies. But tough, they are parts of the Universe, just like I am. Except I feel different, a child of the Cosmos, bubbling full of cosmic words. Words which are inside that box.

The parts pop in often to remind me that I cannot lock myself away and write these books which are clawing at my brain. The stories are there, bubbling, bubbling, bubbling. But my confidence is elsewhere. It’s silly, I can write, it’s just that I write non-fiction. That’s my self-limiting me putting the cosmic me into the box for my safety. The box is getting fuller, and the weight on top is becoming a burden.

For crying out loud what is wrong with me? It’s ok I know what’s wrong, I’m listening to you, and you are telling me what I should do. It sounded like a good idea, and it did make business sense when you said it to me. My business part, my procrastination part, my part of fear.

I should be marketing, selling and finding customers and I should be writing blogs and books to build my brand. Isn’t that what I tell you? Why do I have to do things that impact my bottom line? Ok, I know why I have an MBA don’t you know? The Cosmic child asks does that matter and why do I have to do these things? She challenges me. What if I shoved the parts holding down the lid on my box off? What if the desires in the box change my life?

There are too many parts talking. Perhaps they can be put in the squabble box and sort themselves out without me, that would work wouldn’t it, tell them to shut the f*** up.

I’m being torn into pieces, shredded and scattered to the four corners. Not that there are any corners in my world. More like a series of cosmic roundabouts all leading back to where I am hiding. Inside the box, wondering if it’s safe to come out?

Jacqui Malpass 2017

Analysis of your story

After you have written, go and do something else. When you come back, allow yourself to be immersed in the story of the parts of you. Now ask, what if you could immerse yourself in your desires? What has to happen to allow you to embrace what it is you really want?

In the analysis of your story is your truth. What you choose to do next could change your life.

The journey to self love is a way to celebrate all of you. Using the power of the pen to delve deeply into the inner you, you can unlock your heart and set yourself free.

This Is The Year To Create A Healthy Heart Connection

This year you will find me making many references to the heart, sometimes as a physical organ and how to have a healthy heart through nutrition and sometimes to our energetic heart centre through nourishing her. I feel drawn to creating a healthy heart connection. Or a healthier connection. To finally break the bonds that tie it to the past.

I felt that last year I was working around the throat and sacral area. My blood tests showed that I had an overactive thyroid. Which I solved with nutrition. It was also the energy centre that I struggled with most. The throat wasn’t the only centre that gained my attention; the sacral also poked its nose in and asked to be heard. As the year drew to a close, I felt a stirring to express myself creatively again and to reawaken my relationship with myself and start to think about intimate relationships.

I’ve talked about how I feel about the world of spiritual development and belief systems around the many concepts and methodologies that abound. Each to their own and my way is to use these ideas as guidance systems, not as the whole truth. The truth is what I receive when I tap into my divine inner wisdom. The truth is how I make conscious decisions about how I use what I discover. I hope that you will too.

The heart centre

I am drawn to work with my heart centre, as well as continuing this discovery into my creativity. It feels not necessarily neglected, but that it needs more attention. It also feels like this is a heart year. In numerology 2017 is the beginning of a nine-year cycle. It’s time to plant seeds for growth. In nature, seeds are planted all year. Each seed has unique requirements, and the gardener will attend to its needs as required and with love. You are your seed and your gardener, and it’s up to you to create the best environment for you to flourish.

It also feels like a year where more heart needs to come into our lives – business, projects, communities, writing, art, nutrition, travel, relationships, in fact, all areas. What could happen if we brought heart to what we do instead of mind? Many of you probably already do.I do, however, I am expressing my desire to deepen that connection and to explore my heart from many different angles.

Did you start the year with intentions? I didn’t set any in stone or write any out, more that I felt a connection to work with my heart and put it into what I do. What I did instead is to choose words to kick-start the year, they are writing, expansion and transformation. When I asked my heart for some words, I was given love, peace and harmony.  Initially, I dismissed theses words until I was asked by Allison Marlowe to check again). I have six words for how I intend to use for my year. These words could change, or they may be the whole theme. The only way I will know is to ask my heart.

 

Writing – I have three key projects this year, one is my heart project, which is Puppy with no name, a soul project which is Tapping into your divine inner wisdom and a core project which is turning your personal story into a book. All three projects are connected and have strategies behind them.

Expansion – this carries forward the writing. The writing will bring expansion to me, and I ask my clients to look for expansion in their work. It’s about taking a seed of an idea and expanding it so that it becomes something you feel is your passion, purpose, why and what.

Transformation – this is what happens when you work from your heart, on your heart project

 

Love – is connected to the heart and is Universal. We are love, there is only love, we are united by love. Love helps us to grow and supports the world to grow.

Peace – is my inner peace. Start with me and extend this to all. When a bully or aggressor comes to invade, treat them with love and remain out of the drama and stay with peace. Bring peace to your body so that in the calm you can hear your heart talking to you.

Harmony – everything has a place and balance. Good and not so good, shadows and light, day and night, acid and alkaline. Every day seek to maintain harmony.

My healthy heart connection

Through my writing and actions, being authentic, genuine, real and continuing to be kind, showing compassion, learning more about forgiveness and creating a deeper connection to my spirituality, my healthy heart connection will grow.

How do you think you give and receive love? It’s not such an easy question to answer. When you look at the word love is seems so small, just four letters, yet it has such an impact on the world.

Last year I wrote this article chakra wounds, in this instance the throat chakra. My heart has been hurt, as I am sure some of you reading this will acknowledge as a truth for you. However, my focus is not on healing those wounds; they are gone, done, over. My focus is on how to stay in the energy of my heart so that I can grow from here. It’s where I feel my spirit resides and she wants to come out to play and to explore. This needs to be in a natural connected with nature balanced way.

 

You’ll never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart. George Michael

Balancing the spirit with the energy of love

If a fire rages and goes out of control, untold damage will be done. In conjunction with calming the mind, it is important to balance the spirit. When you discover what keeps your fire burning, you can then focus on how you can maintain the conditions for keeping it alight. We need the energy of the flame to keep us connected to our soul and to ourselves as a divine being. Love is that energy. Often the energy of the heart becomes cluttered, and we lose sight of how to love us because of the way that we talk to ourselves. In truly being able to love us, we can then find partners, form relationships and create environments, which match that energy. How wonderful to be able to express love for others and this world from a beautiful place – our hearts.

Does creating a healthy heart connection resonate with you? If it does set your intentions and find time to open the channels for communication.

I’ll leave you with this heart meditation.

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/heart.html

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