Journaling Archives - Dale Darley

Category Archives for Journaling

Why you should use journaling and diet to support your wellbeing

As a long-term fan of journaling as a way to improve wellbeing, I was intrigued to read the BBC report that antidepressants have been proven to work in a trial of 116,477 people against a placebo. The report (which was published earlier in 2018) goes onto say that more people would benefit from taking the drugs.

I carried on reading with trepidation. What else would this report conclude I wondered?

At the beginning of this year, I was told that I had osteoporosis, I’ve become acutely aware of the drug pushers (natural and pharma) who peddle their wares to stop this disease. What has been heartbreaking for me is the utter confusion, overwhelm and despair I have seen in the forums. People are beyond hope. They have tried the drugs, and their bodies continue to fail. Not all bodies but enough to scare me. And that’s the point people are trying things, without an assessment and overall plan.

We need to find the root cause and journaling can support that.

In this case, I’ve read reports from some of the medical profession who do not like that people are taking matters into their own hands and are looking at more natural methods.

I keep reading that osteoporosis cannot be cured and this makes me angry because you are already setting people up for failure. We need hope, not despair at times like this.

This mentality goes across the board.

Don’t get me wrong I adore science, and the way that medicine has progressed is incredible. We are discovering amazing things every day, but are we creating a world of dependency on being fixed?

Antidepressants like the osteoporosis drugs have their place. I’ve taken Prozac, and it was a tough decision, but I felt as if I’d explored every avenue.

Depression, anxiety and smacks in the face can affect anyone.

Back in my late 40’s, I found myself in the doctor office complaining that despite the many miles I walked every day with my dog, I couldn’t breathe. He gave me space to pour out my worries.

In our discussion, we covered the past, who I was living with, what the relationship was like, work and my health.

For two years I’d struggled with sleep and had tried everything I could think of – you name it, I’d tried it. I handed over a long list of things, he laughed and then more solemnly said, it is no wonder you have anxiety given the life experiences you have had. He handed me a prescription for antidepressants, and I felt a failure.

Not long after, I began to sleep, and I felt less wound up. Inside I felt shame that I had given in. Then through journaling, it became clear that a) I wasn’t a failure and b) this was an opportunity to get on track and c) I needed a strategy for using them and an exit strategy.

Journaling has the power to change lives

It felt as is my journal had a new lease of life. Journaling has been in my life for as long as I can remember. It has saved my life on many occasions, and I saw this as something that needed urgent and special attention.

In my journaling, I became acutely aware of what I was eating and how that was making me feel. I’d started monitoring the anti-depressants and noticed a switch to focus on my heart, soul, body and diet.

Journaling helped me to change my diet

Antidepressants made me feel foolish, but they kicked me into action. I enrolled in a naturopathic nutrition course and made big changes. At this time I was a BIG action taker, but not a right action taker. I took everything out of my diet, lost masses of weight – far too much, and that was not clever. However, as I took the course and learned a new way to eat, I amended my diet, and I started to feel good. Life suddenly felt brighter, and I was getting good quality sleep.

What was also apparent was that I didn’t love me and I couldn’t look in the mirror. It would be in my mid 50’s when I learned to love me and when journaling and writing a book supported me in finding myself and that long overdue self-love.

Journaling helped me to see that I was wound up

The more that I explored myself, diet and life, I could see how I had become so wound up, and the relationship I was in was not supporting me. But I felt trapped, so I stayed. To support me I worked with a cranial osteopath, and she helped me to unwind my system. As she treated me, my writing flowed and so did my body. After a while, I was able to start the planned exit strategy.

All was well until…

Sometime later, we moved in my husband’s almost 90-year old mother who had dementia. It was hard living with a bully and a woman who hated me. I reached for the anti-depressants again. I couldn’t cope, he couldn’t care less, and I wanted to be coshed. I hated my life.

One Christmas we took his mum to Spain, or I should say I got the job of taking an old woman with dementia and poor toilet habits in a wheelchair on an aeroplane.  I coped because that’s what I do. To make matters worse, my house was not suitable for her. I wanted to kill myself. I figured I was already dead inside and who would care.

One night I knew it was the end, I Googled how to kill yourself painlessly. That scared me. Instead, I found myself staring at a journal and I wrote as if my life depended on it. Sense prevailed. I still felt hollow, but now I could see a bit more clearly.

After her death, I weaned myself off and tried to get back to some normality.

Something came out of the writing; it was like I was divinely nudged. I headed to the doctors to discover that all along the reason I wasn’t sleeping was that I’d had an overactive thyroid and through dietary changes, I had resolved it.

Thank you diet and journaling.

Looking back through the journals I could see how I’d become controlled and how unknown, unresolved health and lifestyle issues had eroded my ability to fully function.

Fast forward to today and how journaling and diet has supported my growth

I left the husband a few years ago now. Life has been quite tough on my own, but with each challenge, I’ve used two primary tools, lifestyle changes and journaling.

In 2016 I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid again. I’d taken my eye off the ball, but due to my good diet, I wasn’t feeling the effects. I’d just got a message through my journaling to get a well woman check up – so I obeyed the great pen.

When osteoporosis stuck so did mental health issues

https://youtu.be/xs4iw3fhFT4

When in 2018 I suffered compression fractures (and a lot of pain) which led to a discovery of osteoporosis I leant into my journal and reached out for help. I’ve changed my diet and lifestyle again, and yes you guessed it, I have a dedicated journal for this journey. This is the subject of my next book – Healing Osteoporosis Naturally.

The root cause of my osteoporosis it transpired was bizarre. A trauma to the ribs kicked off a shingles attack. This raised prolactin which lowered dopamine, estrogen and serotonin. No motivation and thrown into the depths of despair is how I would describe where I found myself. Journaling once again saved my life.

Journaling can help you to make conscious decisions

I won’t be reaching for antidepressants and believe you me; I feel angry that I have this. I could use drugs to take away these feelings, but I know that although they are great for temporary support (other peoples may experience vary), I can deal with this through diet, meditation, exercise and journaling. I believe that I have the power to create personal change. I love myself enough to make the requisite changes, however tough they may be.

I also feel angry that I am being pushed through the sausage factory approach to osteoporosis. But I will not be driven by medical research that while amazing I believe does not wholly serve me right now. The statistics and methodologies are not always based in reality and wholeness.

The BBC report goes on to show that there is compelling evidence. Every drug has persuasive proof until it is withdrawn because it causes more deaths or illnesses, doesn’t it? Or is that me being cynical?

This compelling evidence means that doctors can prescribe the right drug because at least 1million other people could benefit.  Ka-ching! You do the numbers. Or is that me being cynical again?

Of course, they conclude anti-depressants shouldn’t be the first form of treatment; they should consider other psychological therapies.

We are missing the point, aren’t we?

We are not just our minds, we are bodies and souls and couldn’t a more holistic approach be considered? One that combines science with natural methods?

Diet, lifestyle, exercise, meditation, visualisation, asking for help, learning to love yourself and understanding how you got to this point so that you can move through it with things like journaling. These are what I consider to be a better way – a harder way, possibly, but in the longer term a way that works for me.

Of course, we want to be fixed. I want my spine to be mended. However, I want to do it in the way described above, and I am willing with every fibre of my body to do it. Yes, I am taking supplements, alongside dietary changes under advisement from a naturopathic nutritionist. I know that these too are drugs in the wrong hands, but I will not take prescription drugs unless I have explored every other avenue and they are my last hope.

I am not against anti-depressants or any other drug, but what I’d like to see, as I have said is a holistic approach, so that they are used as a temporary intervention. I know it’s hard to change diet and lifestyle. However, it can be exciting as you explore new ways of being.

I am constantly exploring new recipes; yesterday I made a healthy banana bread using only things I can eat. I even caught my dogs liking the bowl behind my back and later when I was sampling it one of them nicked a piece. Along with the bread, I also made a delicious lentil shepherds pie thing accompanied by masses of green stuff. Trying out new green juices is exciting – do not have celery on its own – ug! It is delightful to come through the detox stage and start to feel human, for the pain to naturally subside as you deal with inflammation naturally and not with anti-inflammatory drugs.

The body is incredible, and it can heal – if you support it and believe that it can.

Journaling can help you find yourself and help you to inspire others

I started a new journal as soon as this latest thing happened. Why? I knew that I was in for an adventure and that I would discover more about me. I knew that what I learned as I went along would help others. This is what you can do. Use your journaling to find you, get clarity and use it to store your feelings, action and wisdom.

Your story could help save someone else’s life. Think about that. Imagine what it would be like to inspire someone else to embrace change?

You may not feel like it now. You may be at your wits end; you may want to reach for whatever drug is available. It doesn’t matter what you do. Do what is right for you at this moment. But please consider some of what I have said and while you go through these experiences write, capture everything and use it to help others. Use journaling to find you and to get some clarity so that you can work with the professionals that you choose to make good choices.

Journaling and writing is a journey with your soul; writing can help you to heal.  Everyone who writes at some level moves on. Your pen has a deep connection with you and if you allow the words to flow you will discover alchemy.

Writing in a journal can help you to escape and face this passage into a new life and the next part of your soul’s journey.

Start today, get a journal, get lots of journals and put them beside your bed. Journal when you go to bed and when you wake up. You don’t have to write reams, just let it come as it wants to.

Let me leave you with some final thoughts. We are in this together; please look around you, one of your friends could be where I was. You might be there now. Please reach out, lend an ear and give them the gift of a journal.

If you have a story that you need to tell and a book you want to write, please do connect with me and lets chat.

Resources

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/feb/21/the-drugs-do-work-antidepressants-are-effective-study-shows
http://www.bbc.com/news/health-43143889
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jbmr.2888/full

Write your way out of a rut and into action

I feel that I am in a rut. It’s not a well-worn groove and I’m certainly not in the groove, or at least it doesn’t feel that way. I feel tired, weary to my bones and I know that to get out of my rut I need to write.

It is deeper than that. This rut is a line in the sand, something has to change and the only person who can do this is me and the time to do it is now.

Last Friday evening the choice on TV was Sport Relief or Football. Neither stirred me and instead I subscribed to Netflix. It occurred to me that in the past I had gorged myself on Battlestar Galactica, Breaking Bad and indeed one period of my life was highlighted with Soprano Sundays. When I wondered had I lost this urge to indulge in the life of a TV box set? To allow me the pleasure of doing nothing.

I chose Cable Girls (Las Chicas Del Cable), a Spanish series full of love and betrayal. That was it, once I’d watched one I wanted more and given that I didn’t have a diary full of dates, dancing and bands, I indulged.

12.30 and moving into the early hours of Sunday and I decided it was time for bed. I’d seen enough for one day. My emotions caught me unawares and I burst into tears. Looking at the ceiling, for where else do you find God, The Universe, Spirit or some Higher Power, I cried out ‘I’ve had enough, I have had a shit life and it ends here.’

The following morning I realised that I was well and truly in a rut, a downward spiral of sadness as I tried to process my life.

Earlier in the week, I’d been journaling and from the depths of my soul, she whispered trust and betrayal. Just when you think this is it, I’ve sorted my stuff out, something else comes up. What next I ask with a smile? Why do they leave the darkest tar to last? Is the hardest stuff left towards the end so that you have more resources to deal with it?

The program was a reminder of how destructive trust and betrayal can be and this sadness didn’t leave me all weekend. Especially as after I’d gorged myself on one box series I found Reign which went on to cover the same issues love and betrayal but in an altogether different setting.

My rut has set in because I am a little immobilised by spinal fractures and pain. I have to heal and healing takes time and I admit to being a tad impatient. Dealing daily with pain is no fun. Yet I do not wallow in it. As I lie in bed I do exercises, when I get up I do exercises and I keep moving so that my body doesn’t grind to a halt.

My diet is of utmost importance, but I am tired of eating well, sick of green at every meal and I want to break free. Only I can do that. Only I have the power and the gumption to change what I eat and more importantly my life.

Patience they say is a virtue. Well, right now you can shove virtue where the sun doesn’t shine. I’ve had enough of waiting. Yet even as I write that, I know and I am smiling that I need this virtue to heal. It would be foolhardy to trek into the hills and risk a fall.

Risk a fall. It seems that all I have ever done is fall, but falling and fracturing again in this healing phase is not a clever move and so I look instead for reduced risk options, that still give me some semblance of normality. Normality within four walls is so hard for a person like me. This is a tough lesson. The truth is I don’t have four walls, my house is full of quirky rooms and I can move from space to space as I need. But still, I am caught in a brick box that does not seem ready to release me just yet.

Over the weekend I realised that I hadn’t written any words for my book. Instead, I journaled as I usually do. I needed to capture the essence of this breakthrough.

It is a breakthrough despite the tears and screaming at empty emotionless ceilings. In the silence, I was greeted with the stark reality that there is only one person to get me out of my rut and that is me.

Nobody is going to reach in and pull me out, because they are all in the rut that is their life.

It struck me that I needed to get back to work on my book and a course and I had to make myself. Ruts don’t divert unless we are prepared to get out of the safety of pain and trudge through the uneven ground to create a groove elsewhere.

You can get out of a rut with writing

Go and get your journal and pen, find a comfy space and write RUT in big letters in the middle of the page. The ask yourself these questions:-

  • Why am I in a rut?
  • How did I get into this rut?
  • What does my rut look like – bring in all of your senses?
  • Why do I like being in this rut?
  • What don’t I like about my rut?
  • How will I get out of this rut?
  • What if my rut didn’t exist?
  • What needs to happen to re-route the rut?
  • How does it feel to leave it behind?
  • How does it feel and what does it look like in my new groove?

Now pick an action and go and do it.

I’m off to my office to outline two chapters of my book (Osteoporosis and Me) and to write one. After which I shall start to outline a course – Write your life story – turn memories into memoir (avail May 2018).

The heavy driving winds from the last few days have dropped and I shall be out walking again this week. It’s been hard to walk with pain, but it feels time.

How to use the language of more to change limiting self-beliefs

A few days ago I wrote in my diary how fed up I was and started to question my lack of self-trust and self-belief. Could I turn this around? Could I reverse osteoporosis naturally? Me? The trust issues go much deeper than can I trust my body to heal, this goes back through generations.

Trust keeps popping up to bite me on the bum and whatever your issue is will do the same for you, unless you deal with it. But how?

Identify something that is knocking your self-belief

The first step is to identify what it is. It may be many things, or it could be one. Choose the priority. How will you know it is a priority? Well, it will come as no surprise to you that I will suggest you journal. Play with words until one bites.

When I played with my words this morning the word was once again TRUST. What fascinates me is that right now while I ‘trust’ my body to heal the spinal fractures, my dog is surrendering to healing his broken leg. He doesn’t know he can’t heal; he just trusts that I will look after him and love him and all will be well.

The last few days have seen me cry a lot. I’ve felt tense and frustrated. You would wouldn’t you, if you thought that you couldn’t support a sick animal because of your injuries and pain?

But here is the thing. I watched him this morning as we went for a little walk and already he is tentatively putting his paw on the ground. When I saw that I was inspired by how he trusted that it would be ok. Plus he trusts me to look after him to enable that to happen.

This is what I wrote in my diary. I am not going to write reams about how I arrived at this, but know it’s been a lifetime of not setting boundaries among other things.

Trust. I don’t trust men to support me without an agenda. I think that it’s not just men and before I set boundaries around other people, it was not trusting people to respect me and allowing them to devalue me. Also, with all of the physical pain, I am trying hard to trust my body to heal.

Specify the opposite of your not so good self-belief by using positive language

Every day since this journey has started I have been writing positive affirmations in my journal. Not once have I used don’t, less or not. What do I mean by this? I could have written that I am frightened and the opposite is I am not frightened, rather than I am courageous. I feel full of fear and might have written I am fearless. It means the same.

Have a play with the self-belief that you think are holding you back and write the opposite using better more productive language. Pick one to work on and repeat to yourself like a mantra for the day.

I trust that my body knows how to heal and has all of the resources it needs

I trust others to support me without an agenda

I trust that I will always be surrounded by loving and supportive people

I trust that I will always have all the resources I need for life

I have lots of support from family and friends, and it has amazed me how I am surrounded by such love. All I had to do was ask. 🙂

Look at your new self-belief as if this were already true

We know the power of visualisation and stating things in the now. What you now need to do is create a new self-belief as if it were already true. Again watching your language and not use words like in the future or I am going to.

In my new version of life, being surrounded by only those people for whom we had mutual love and respect. I am in a loving fun relationship with a partner. The only connections I have are with those that feed my soul and I theirs.

My body is strong and healthy. It supports me and will continue to do so until my time is done. I have lots of energy, and I know when to take time out to refresh my soul.

I am working with courageous people who have an inspiring message for the world.

Clarify what this means to you, others and your world

Take a few moments to think what it would mean to you and for others when this is true.

For me: I am more at peace with myself. Great health means that I enjoy life and have the energy to do things that are meaningful to me. It means that I know that I have all of the tools and resources to be able to achieve anything.

For others: It brings us closer together. I can show how anything is possible. I allow other space and give them support for doing it their way. I can receive, and I am open to their love which means that they feel appreciated.

For the world: It shows what is possible. It inspires others to know that they can also overcome anything.

And finally, I wrote.

My gift is to inspire others to take control, find themselves and to have the courage to share their story so that they can inspire others.

The language of more is exciting because we tend to use the same kinds of words and phrases and not noticing what they are saying to us. This is where journaling can support you. Once you see it in black and white, it is so apparent. Go to your journal and highlight the language you want to change.

This takes my journaling further because it all comes back to your core message and to do that we have to move into our source of wisdom and love. We have to open up the spaces that hurt and allow healing to begin.

I hope that this inspires you to take a closer look at what is niggling you and that you find the courage to spill the beans into your journal. It won’t tell anyone, and this learning may lead you to write a book about your experiences.

Honour yourself on International Women’s Day and every day

Tomorrow is International Women’s Day. A day to join with your sisters to celebrate how far we have come and what we have achieved. A day to consider our values and the impact we want to make in the world.

To be able to create the change we want to see, we have to take time out to honour who we are.

Make International Women’s Day and every day, a day to honour yourself

Unless we learn to honour who we are and learn to love ourselves enough, we will not have firm foundations from which to move forward. Here are a few simple ideas that you can implement.

Write yourself a love letter

Love letter to you

 

Write a letter from your heart to your soul and body. Explain in simple terms why you love you. Put pen to paper and trust that what is meant to be written will emerge. Think of what International Women’s Day and press for progress mean to you.

Write a letter and wave goodbye to all that does not serve you and be open to new opportunities

One of the more fun things that I do when I am feeling down is to write a letter about what I’d like to come into my life. I am mindful of how I write it because the mind is a powerful thing. So for example, if you have had a tough time with a past relationship, consider what good things have come from it; I certainly say thank you to three relationships for allowing me to live the life I do today.

Say thank you and then ask how is it possible for me too, for example, have a beautiful relationship, where we are equal, and I am loved and respected for who I am? Your words, your way. Then when you have written what you need to positively, burn your letter. As you watch the flames flicker, give thanks and send love to the past.

Do something to honour your body

Make and eat something delicious and nutritious and do it mindfully. I adore my Nutribullet and making gorgeous smoothies. I also have reflexology regularly and if you can make some time in your diary to feel the healing touch of another. Even if you can’t get to see a masseur, run a luscious bath, put on some meditation music, light some candles, choose a calming oil, smother your face with avocado and drift off.

Replace a ‘not so good’ food with something yummy and healthy

Honour your body

If you currently reward yourself with something high fat or full of processed sugar, consider swapping it out for something healthier. This doesn’t mean eating a carrot, although you could make some delicious homemade hummus; one of my favourites. Another idea might be to dip some of your favourite fruit in raw chocolate – oh yes!!!

Practice self-healing

You don’t have to be a ‘trained’ healer to do this; anyone can heal. Close your eyes and take some deep relaxing breaths. Place one hand at your heart and one under your breasts (solar plexus). Open your heart to healing and be open to what comes. Focus on drawing in energy to create inner peace, balance and harmony. Another idea could be to massage your tummy – the womb of your femininity. Use some lovely oils, maybe something like neroli to encourage creativity.

Rescue a dog or three

2016-03-10-1457620459-2516559-Mybabies.png

As a mum to three rescues, I would say this, wouldn’t I? I feel blessed to have them as a part of my life. Not a day goes by where they don’t make me laugh. With dogs, I can’t make any excuses for not getting out as they need to run around and sniff. The benefits include getting a lung full of fresh air and some exercise, I am experiencing Mother Nature, and getting an opportunity to reflect.

Do something creative

Write a blog or a book, paint a picture or make something. I write most days, but for relaxation, I knit strange dolls. What about a bit of adult colouring in? Creativity opens you up to opportunities.

Wear something that makes you feel feminine

Given where I live up in the hills, I usually wear something practical as I need to get out and walk my dogs. When I get the chance, I like to choose something more feminine outfit and ignore how my walking shoes might look… What could you put on that makes you feel like great?

Buy flowers and brighten up your home and/or workspace

Place your flowers in a gorgeous vase where you can see them throughout the day. As you look at them, remind yourself of your inner beauty. If you don’t want to buy cut flowers what could you collect from nature? Around me is loads of lavender and rosemary – bliss.

Don’t wait for someone to buy you flowers, buy them for yourself

Say thank you

Say thank you for who you are, whether physical or spiritual.

Make this International Women’s Day and every day a day to support a sister

Giving back is a wonderful way to feel great as you do good. It doesn’t have to be costly or take too much of your time. Try some of these:-

Offer a complimentary mentoring session

You have incredible knowledge, skills and experience, who might benefit from a Skype call or a cuppa with you? That hour could change both of your lives.

Sponsor a sister

Make a small monthly donation to someone who is less fortunate than you.

Give a gift

 

Footprints. Leave your footprints in someones heart

Leave your footprints in someone’s heart. Create your legacy today. If you have a book or an online course, consider giving a gift to another woman. I often give coupons to my courses away, which I hope will inspire someone to write a book.

Challenge unconscious bias amongst your male family and friends

Open the conversation with your ‘brothers’ and fellow humans and ask them what they think and how they can help to create balance and harmony. Consider how you can work together to create inclusive education, awareness and action.

Be more flexible with your working day

If you are self-employed, consider how you can flex your day. As an early riser, I often write early, then head out for a walk (although not right at the moment) and do whatever I want to, ensuring that I get done what needs to be actioned. I am mindful that clients may need to talk on the weekend or evenings, which is often the case with writing a book. If that is the case, I make space, providing I have the energy and no other commitments. Being flexible means that you can achieve so much more. Try it. It may feel strange if you are not long into self-employment.

Slip some money into someone’s pocket

I am not suggesting that you creep stealth like and unpick someone’s pocket, but you could leave some cash (doesn’t have to be much) with a note in the ladies toilet for some unsuspecting sister. Tell her to have a cuppa on you.

Say thank you to a fellow woman leader

Is there a woman who you consider to be a leader? Tell her what an excellent job she is doing.

Say thank you

Thank someone for something that they have done for you.

Whoever you are reading this, from wherever, celebrate being you and give thanks to the women in your life.

Write into March – writing prompts to start the month

Let’s kick March off with these writing prompts. Writing prompts are a great way to think about where you are and where you would like to go. Do you have a planner? Or do you perhaps set intentions for the month?

March intentions will put a spring into your writing. It’s considered the first month of Spring and a time for some fresh thinking. It’s a new season and a new start. We’ve just had a powerful full moon which is always a wonderful time to let go of things. Just in case you didn’t there is no time like the present to release what does not serve you.

Writing prompts to kickstart your March #1

  • One – read through the five points on the infographic
  • Two – reflect before you write
  • Three – create a one-two page planner or you can use this one
  • Four – take action, use this five-day planner to help you.
  • Five – write every day – even if it’s a bullet point
  • Six – reflect often
  • Seven – review the month and decide what next before you head into April

This month the theme is BEGINNINGS. That can be beginning again, it could be beginning something entirely new. Whatever it is, do or be it with an intention to find something that resonates with you. For me, my focus this month is beginning to focus on strengthening my body, albeit slowly.

March infographic

 

Writing prompts to start the month #2

  1. What does beginning mean to you?
  2. Choose four elements of your life and write about how you can put some fresh life into them
  3. Write a love letter to you, expressing how your new beginnings will bring you joy
  4. How can you pour love into your new beginnings?
  5. How can you nurture your new beginning?
  6. Write about your all the times you have started something and not completed it. What do you notice about the patterns?
  7. What does Spring mean to you?
  8. How can you love anything new that you start so that you complete it?
  9. What makes you feel excited about introducing something new?
  10. Why is making a fresh start important to you?
  11. If you could write a book, what stops you from starting and why?

How to make the most of your March writing prompts

  1. This is not a race against time, savour each question and take your time
  2. Get into the right writing space
  3. Write in a beautiful journal
  4. Pick the one that most resonates and write that first
  5. Allow whatever wants to be written come up
  6. Leave and reflect

That’s it, March is the month of new beginnings. Find something new to start that will fill your heart and soul. Write often, enjoy the month and remember to spoil you every day.

If you’d love more of this writing stuff, if you have things you want to get out of you, find your writers voice and maybe even write a book, connect with me or get on The Writing Zone waiting list. Once you enter the Writer’s Lounge your pen will never be the same again…

Journaling, meditation and pathways to generation issues

Recently while contemplating things that are going on in my life I have been watching various videos and reading some fairly technical books. The books have helped me to make intellectual sense of what is happening inside my body. The videos have set me thinking about other things.

Neither has given answers, to my why, but they have provided tools and insights which have set me on a course of looking deeper.

Lying here in the early hours the word trust came to me again. It’s a word that I was exploring in my journal before I closed my eyes and in fact, it’s a word that has been coming to me on a regular basis. I just haven’t been able to find my way to what it wants to say to me.

Yes, I have been journaling, but what has come up has been more fear-based thoughts around trusting my body to heal. I know it can, but my old friend fear taps me on the shoulder and says ‘are you sure?’’ Yes, I am, but something has still niggled me. Like it niggles me about trusting that I will find love again after the Dickie Quick episode.

This morning I sat with pen poised and was writing about something which I thought was unrelated to trust when I found myself on a journey. I wrote a few things down and then let myself slip into a meditative state. During this state, the word Grandad came to me. Allowing whatever else to arrive, I was witnessing his life where there was a considerable lack of trust. His mother by all accounts had been unfaithful, she had children by other men, left and I think at some point he’d been put in a children’s home.

Later when he married he carried this with him into his relationship, where he was soon to be disappointed when his wife gave all of their savings to her father. Again I believe he’d got himself into trouble financially and asked his daughter to bail him out. She did so without consultation; again I think not once but twice.

Imagine how this must have translated to his three daughters, one of which is my mum?

Mum married a man whom she thought was nothing like my Granddad. My dad was outgoing, handsome and a charmer. She fell deeply in love with him, little knowing that beneath his exterior was another damaged and fragmented soul. My dad and I say this with no malice was a gambler, smoker, drinker and womaniser… Although this didn’t become evident until later life, mum had married a man she could not trust.

When I was born I carried with me the resonance of all of these people and in the simplicity of journaling and meditating I have been made aware of something that has never crossed my mind before in search of why.

We often think we know why or how we arrived at the life and body that we now inhabit, but the truth is that unless we switch off the noise and explore, we can never trace the pathways to the root of something.

Journaling

Journaling by hand in a warm and safe environment where you can switch off and allow what needs to be said to come out is powerful. Find a space and time that suits you and just allow for a moment a word to come to you.

Set an intention that you want your journaling to explore the matter at hand. In my case, I wanted to explore the generational link to this word – trust.

Write five other words around it and then sit with it. One of these words will be the one that you will want to explore. Write and allow the words to come. It doesn’t matter how you start or what you write, trust that what needs to come out will.

Meditate

Once you have written and feel that there is nothing more to come, close your eyes and connect with some part of you. This might be your heart or your third eye. From out of nowhere a word, picture, a song will come to you. Just wait, do not try to force anything. Allow it to speak to you and just observe. In my example this morning it was Granddad and flashes of his life.

Journal again and explore

Once you come out of meditation, start your journaling again with the new information you have received. What happens is enlightening.

The generation link

For me, there was a definite generational link with trust. I wondered to what extent my cells have been damaged by this vibrational resonance. I say ‘damaged’ not in the context that I have been smacked around the head with a brick. More that I am curious about how these fragments from across generations could be so deeply embedded in my psyche. It’s curious isn’t?

We know from Masaru Emoto’s water experiments that water responds to various stimuli and can change shape when introduced to both beauty and horror. If water can be so affected by its environment and ‘conditioning’, it makes sense that we too can, given how much water we have in our bodies.

Water is in every cell. Every cell, therefore, must carry, I believe a generational resonance. If that is the case then exploring our issues through another lens could be helpful in understanding where we find ourselves today.

When you have some understanding of why, then you have an opportunity to change, just like Emoto did with the resonance in the water cells. You can do this with journaling, meditation, being in nature, speaking to yourself with kindness and love, listening to beautiful music, connecting with friends and a whole myriad of feel-good things.

How does this speak to you?

Does this resonate with you? Is there something that you have been trying to get to the root of that could be a lightly held vibration from across time in your cells?

Put pen to paper and explore. Drift into meditation and allow.

I use journaling to not only unlock hidden pathways to me but to help me make sense of all sorts of things. Currently, I am journaling about my osteoporosis journey as this is the subject of a book that I am writing. Journaling supports me by helping me to pull together ideas such as this so that I can encourage others to find their (in this case) potential cause for dis-ease or ways to support healing pathways.

If you have a book that you want to write, please get in touch. Your story can be something you have already lived or one you are living. Either way, you will be able to write it with new eyes and understanding. Let’s connect and explore.

Journaling and the PH balance of experiences

Journaling is a fantastic way to open yourself up to discovering what I call acid or alkalising experiences or the PH balance of experiences.

When studying nutrition one of the areas that we look at is how acid or alkaline our bodies are. The key is to keep your body as alkaline as possible, in other words, cut out acidic foods as these are not helpful to the body and help to create (along with many other things) dis-ease. There’s a great resource here that shows you the ph balance of many foods. (turn off your sound – there is a video playing at the bottom of the article and it’s a rather annoying tactic)

Instead of food consider instead your life and what is going on and what brought you to this point. How acidic or alkaline were those experiences?

One of the most important things for me is that when ‘something’ happens I consider where did this come from. When I was told hey you have osteoporosis and arthritis, apart from crying, I looked at not only my diet but my life for clues. Despite being trained in naturopathic nutrition, I asked another naturopath to look for clues for me. It made sense to do so. Even though I’d previously turned around an overactive thyroid through diet, this felt more important and called for a different set of conscious decisions.

Let’s explore the museum of our minds

Buried deep inside the museum of our mind, right down inside every cell, a set of old programs called unexpressed emotions. These darling little programs are a bit of a hindrance because they pop up and bite us on the bum when we least expect to be bitten.

Naturally, they are so well hidden that often we do not recognise or realise that they are operating. A little like a virus on a computer. But viruses cannot hide forever and that’s where journaling comes in.

Imagine losing these attachments, becoming aware of why you do what you do and creating new beautiful pathways that will serve you more effectively.

I wonder what unconscious resistance you have to let these go? How do these unexpressed emotions possibly define who you?

Journaling and the memory

The memory is quite a remarkable thing, which encodes, stores and enables retrieval of our experiences. You may well wonder where and how all of that stuff gets stored, why you can easily remember some things and not others. In simple terms information goes in, we encode it in such a way that makes sense to us, which is why no two people remember the same event in the same way. It also means that no two people with experience trauma the same way or react to it in the same way. Similar experiences do not mean similar programs. We have stuff in short term memory, the things we are currently actively thinking about and longer term, which is the stuff that is parked out of the way for now.

Your memory is a pattern of stored connections. When we want to retrieve a memory, we are taken along a series of pathways (neural pathways), a bit like following a series of directions to an address, where the experience is retrieved and brought into view. That’s the conscious view; the unconscious view is a labyrinth of things that have not been expressed but leaps out to bite us on our poor little bums when we least expect it.

If you are journaling then you can capture your experiences and this will help you to track the trails. Later when you reflect you will be able to make sense. We like to make sense of things, don’t we? And it will save your now very well bitten bottom.

Start to think of your mind as a museum, with lots of galleries, some of old masters, some highlighting different periods of time or themes, some more abstract and some just fragments of times long ago.

As we get older, we seem to forget more things, which is according to the scientists is all part of natural ageing. All the more reason to journal to get the grey matter moving, eat well, stay hydrated, be mindful, be balanced, live in harmony and living our lives on purpose, in love and light.

Coding our experiences and emotions

Stop for a moment and breathe in your environment. What do you notice?

Ferdy dog is making a funny I’m contented noise, tucked up in my bed and outside the birds are giving it what for. Apart from the slight hum of the computer, there is silence. It feels peaceful. I’m in bed and comfortable and this is one of my favourite places to write from in the early mornings. But I am mindful that I have to get up as my cleaner (essential for osteoporosis) is arriving in an hour and I need to get ready. As I write that I can feel the pressure rising, but only slightly.

In every moment we consume information through our environment. These are laid down in your mind map using your language and coding structure waiting to be fertilised, waiting to be joined by that one all-important connector, which creates the spark and drives it to the forefront of your mind. Your body is constantly working with these experiences and emotions. Some will have escaped while others lie trapped looking for an exit route. When there isn’t a way out toxins will accumulate.

So although I’m feeling a slight, mmm I’d better get up, drat, I want to stay here and cuddle the dog and write, I could have been wired in such a way that even this could send me off the PH balance of life scale (which we will come to).

How is the body destroyed?

Had I been feeling massively stressed about having to stop what I am enjoying to do something else then this could set one of my stress triggers off.

Stress = unexpressed emotions about experiences

I could tell you because I’ve worked hard on my soul that I know what my triggers are. The truth is I know some of it, but much of it will be still be repressed and stored in the program and every cell of me. What I do know is that some of it stems from my childhood and are mostly painful memories. Like you I have dealt with a lot, today I am in a more harmonious place, however, there some old chestnuts that come along to ‘get’ me when I am least expecting it.

It is like peeling an onion, sometimes a bloody big onion.

Along comes a trigger and wham! Our beautiful body doesn’t want these toxins so it tries to expel them and when it can’t it stores them as dis-ease. Dis-ease is not the same as a disease; it means a lack of comfort or a body out of balance.

Telling someone to feel the pain and get on with it is not the best way to go about healing. These feelings, when triggered, remind us that we are unloved, unsafe and unworthy. Ouch.

These emotions and physical pains are natural responses to life. Keeping them stuffed inside is not natural. When we feel unloved, unsafe and unworthy, it affects the way that we love and shine our light. Toxic emotions steal our light and love. Living in a body where all of this baggage has been kept under lock and key will stunt your growth and ability to live a full and rich life. It also affects the immune system.

Stop for a moment and start journaling, make a list of the things that might be triggering an unhealthy response in your life right now.

Stress and the immune system

Things like insomnia, headaches, migraines, gut problems, aching joints and feeling tired are all the result of unexpressed emotions which have festered. As time passes the immune system can grow weaker until all kinds of illnesses, issues, dis-eases, dis-orders present themselves. And then you will know about it.

Where do your stressful experiences come from

They call osteoporosis a silent and invisible dis-ease. I certainly didn’t know that it was sneaking up on me. I was so happy with focusing on my thyroid, it never entered my head.

Over the years I have been told that I have IBS, that my insomnia was because of the peri-menopause and then anxiety, that my aching joints were just age. When in an awful relationship, I went from being super fit to an old cronk, on Prozac and unable to function at my best. I had the emotions running a pattern from my past, a horrible man treating me with no respect, his mother who did not like me to look after.

Here’s another journaling opportunity. What about you, how is your lifestyle affecting your immune system?

Environment

Our external environment affects all of us. What goes on around us has far-reaching repercussions for what goes on inside. Each of our trillions of cells, like us are affected by the environment we create for them. Our environment controls us and the environment we create internally controls our cells, which control us. We hold a very powerful key to tapping into our inner wisdom and changing our environment so that we can get rid of toxins, heal and create a healing code that is unique to us.

Cells like us, read the environment, make an assessment and then behave according to what is required. Cells gather together in communities called tissues and organs, and these live harmoniously in these communities until their environment is damaged. Humans likewise create families and communities which contribute to a harmonious or otherwise environment.

How you choose to live, work and play and your values around your external environment will go a long way to giving you your life back. As will eating good nutritious food, drinking excellent water properly, taking exercise, being with people that support and love us and reducing stressful activities will go a long way to supporting a better life.

Acid and alkalising experiences

Your unexpressed emotions and experiences can be classified into acid or alkalizing. Consider that in science you have a PH scale. Now think of your PH scale as a personal harmony scale, with acid on one side and alkaline on the other.

Acid experiences are unpleasant, they burn and sting at one end and towards the middle of the scale are mildly irritating

Alkaline experiences are healthier and used to neutralise an acidic experience. If you go too far you could be overdosing on the feel good factor and not addressing the real issues.

What we want is to live and experience life from a balanced perspective.

Journaling and your PH Balance of experiences

Ph scale

  • Grab your journal and consider all (some) of the stressful experiences that you have had. What physical, mental or spiritual ‘issues’ arose? Were they acid or alkalising?
  • Draw up a balance sheet of great times and not so great time
  • On one side add your acid experiences and the other alkalising
  • Assign each experience a number from the PH scale
  • Which do you have more of?
  • Which experiences are linked and which have balanced each other out?
  • How can you create personal harmony and balance?
  • What actions will you take?

How do you know when you are stressed?

When you look at your balance sheet, were you surprised with what you found? Go back to your journal and using the colours from your PH scale mark up using coloured pens your acid experiences. Then link them together. What insights do you get?

Next, stop, breathe and take a look at yourself. Are you stressed? How do you know if you are or if you are not? Are there any recurring themes, stressors or acid experiences?

Sometimes we are ‘stressed out’ and not aware of our rising stress levels. Not all individuals respond to stressors in the same way. Your personality and past experience all dictate how you deal with things and your reactions. In other words, susceptibility to stress-related dis-ease varies among individuals. Some people are particularly vulnerable to stressful situations or events, while others may be highly productive under pressure (short term).

Take a few minutes to consider your answer to this question. Explore this question in your journal.

Now tell me what conscious decisions will you make to change this?

Journaling at the start of a life’s adventure is incredibly enlightening and will help you to find clarity and peace. It also has the added benefit that you have a rich store of words with which to write a book. Head over to the contact me page and let’s chat about your next book project.

The power of journaling and having a chocolate orange day

A few mornings ago I missed my journaling. I’d woken in the small hours in pain and thought instead that I would get some water, a cup of white tea and read.

After wrapping my back with castor oil and clambering back into bed, it did cross my mind to write, but the desire to read was greater, and so I succumbed. What would I write anyway? I hate this f***ing pain. It’s not that I felt angry, wearier, I wanted some time away from my thoughts, I wanted to be wrapped in the arms of peace. Soon I was asleep.

After a healthy breakfast and checking my diary, I knew I had time to be with myself and create the space I needed for my first client of the day.

Once I’d spoken with my client, I had a cuppa and a small piece of raw chocolate Srummy Yummy.

To my knowledge most people love chocolate. What’s not to love? My favourite is not Terry’s Chocolate Orange, although I understand why they are so popular and have scoffed a few in my time… Before I moved to the healthy side.

You will have noticed that at Christmas the makers of Chocolate Orange market the product heavily. It is a time when sharing a slice of your life and special moments with your loved ones are on your mind. A time when you might want to indulge in something naughty (chocolate naughty…).

Between Christmas and New Year is when most people decide to change their lives. Spring is another time I think that we do something similar. Today is the start of Chinese New Year and the year of the Earth Dog. I wonder if this is a time when people also set intentions and declutter their lives?

What are your intentions for the coming month or year?

And even like me when you are not feeling quite so chipper. Some of those decisions include leaving a partner or job, maybe doing something outrageous and possibly following long-held dreams.

Take a moment now and consider what are those dreams?

When life is feeling a bit challenging, I think that this is when journaling is immensely helpful. As is taking time out to reflect. I call these chocolate orange days. Days when nourishing your soul becomes your priority. And here is why.

Chocolate in this context is raw chocolate, not the sickly mass produced stuff that is offered up as chocolate. Made from the cacao bean, it is really a nut and as the name implies, is chocolate in its most natural form. Raw chocolate is loaded nutrients just what you need when you are not feeling yourself.

For a chocolate orange day, you need delicious, nutritious food. Which might include raw chocolate and why wouldn’t it? It is a great food to nibble as research shows that chocolate boosts serotonin and gives us that feel good factor.

Orange is a colour that makes me feel good. I love orange; it fills me with warmth, energy, happiness, creativity and communication. Just what you need for a day of journaling and reflection. Orange is also the colour of the sacral chakra and is an important emotional centre. When you think of orange and the sacral, consider how you can open yourself up to nurturing and start to use this intuitive connection with your soul.

Orange also reminds me of autumn and the trees awash with colour just before they let them go. In this sense, you will also be letting things go ready for new growth.

What is a chocolate orange day?

It is a day of reflection, a ‘you’ day and an opportunity to nourish yourself between the pages of your journal and reflect. It is a day to get rid of your rubbish, declutter your life, re-evaluate your strengths and weakness, change your mindset, set a vision and think about how you can walk towards it.

Chocolate Orange - is it time for a chocolate orange day_ #writinginspiration #writerslife #writingforthesoul #bookcoach #osteoporosis

A chocolate orange day describes a day when…

  • You have a realisation (aha) that something has to change.
  • You have a reaction in a way that you didn’t expect that sends thoughts washing around your brain. Simply notice, what you notice
  • You take some reflection (breathe…) time to work things out. A day for letting things sink in and starting to consider the meaning of recent events and contemplating why, what, how and what if. Then finding creative answers to your questions through journaling.
  • You take relevant action and say yes to changing something. Making good conscious decisions.

The power of journaling

Do you journal? If you do, taking time to read through your journal entries and seeing if you can make sense of the events that have led you to this day is always powerful.

You will, I am sure, notice some patterns.

  • What patterns of discontent can you see? What is this saying to you? Take the dis of and look at what would make you content.
  • Does your journal show you what you do day to day as inspiring and motivational? Do you feel passionate about what you are doing? What has to happen to get you to a place of peace with who you are?
  • What about the toxic people and relationships that show up and make you so unhappy? What has to happen to move them out of your circle of bright stars?
  • Notice your writing, does it show up as fed up, stressed, angry, sad, happy, peaceful, calm or any number of emotions? What does that say to you?
  • How about the feelings you get after you’ve eaten something? Is it time to change your diet? Not start dieting, but eating in a way that serves your temple. Take menopause (if you are a woman); this is a perfect time to re-assess what you eat so that you don’t get hot flushes and sweats at night. For me, with this recent osteoporosis diagnosis, it is about finding about how my body works and what bits are now out of balance. Then noticing what happens when I add certain supplements or eat in a certain way. Or what in life is eating you?
  • What does your writing look like? Handwriting changes to reflect a mood, what does this tell you?

Right now do a body scan. Look at your environment both internal and external. Do you need a chocolate orange day?

Take time out. Listen to the whispering of your soul.

Take time out for your chocolate orange day enjoy reflecting, delving into memories, embracing your discoveries, and creating the start of your ‘me’ action plan.

How to spot a chocolate orange day is coming

If you are standing on a railway track, how do you know that the train is coming? You might feel a vibration, a certain energy and hear a rumbling noise. How long you stand there and wait is your choice. Will you jump off the track in time and avoid being squashed? Or do you wait until the last minute and get away with your life by the skin of your teeth. Or worst of all do you stand and let the train kill you?

The truth is you have probably known for a while and not listened to your soul. Don’t let it be too late for you.

Right now I’m nowhere near the track. I’m listening, and I’m taking the time out. I’m journaling, reflecting and I know it is the right thing to do. I’m journaling so that I can write a book about my osteoporosis journey, or how I intend it to turn out. Which is the reversal and back to full health.

How can you make a chocolate orange day work for you?

Firstly do not eat a chocolate orange, unless you make it yourself. Or perhaps some delicious gluten-free cake?

Put aside a day where you can nourish your mind, body, soul and spirit without interruption. This means being kind to yourself and doing what feels right. Prepare yourself, find some quiet space, meditate, take a bath or go for a walk. Have a nutritious breakfast and make sure your day’s food is pre-prepared unless preparation is part of what makes you feel good. Have lots of water handy and head off to a beautiful space. The environment in which you reflect will have a significant impact on your ability to connect with your soul.

The journaling and reflection cycle

  • Grab a pen and paper. Writing always helps me to reflect. If you have your journal handy, read through it making notes as thoughts, ideas and realisations come up. Explore these through further writing
  • If you want to start from a blank page, write, doodle or scribble what comes up as the thing or things you want to focus on for this day
  • Look at the sky, daydream, meditate or walk in between your writing sessions. I walk my dogs. Notice what comes up for you. You will get many aha’s, reactions and ideas about what to do. Let these flow to you and make no judgement
  • After each writing and reflection period, make a list of what comes up and ask yourself which is the priority. Reflect on what that priority means to you
  • The number of times you read, write and reflect is up to you. When you are done read through your musings and get a sense of how you feel
  • When you have finished, look at your actions, decide which one you want to work on first. A mind map is a great way to find connections. Take a word that describes your thinking point and then add five more words that connect to that word. Once you have those words create an action point
  • When you have your action points, write down your first thoughts about the things that need to change. Reaction moments are when you get your first hit of understanding, and you are tossing your realisation around in your head. You might cry, shout, laugh or bang your head against the wall. You are in-between aha moments and mmm?! moments, and you are now rolling them back and forth between your conscious and non-conscious brain. The thoughts that come to you in these moments are not always the answer to your question; they are a starting point.
  • After a walk or similar, it’s time for thinking. By giving your unconscious mind an opportunity to do its thing, real answers will be ready to come. Sometimes you will think that they are the answer and get very excited to rush off to implement your brainwaves, but hold your horses and let them brew. Better ideas are yet to come.

Sleep on your day

Once you have rested and given yourself more time to reflect on your writing and reflection cycle take some time out again and then come back to ‘think’ about the relevant action. You have been through realisation, reaction and reflection, and now you are in a position to take appropriate focused action. Strategies can now be formed. You decide how this gets you one step closer towards your vision and you put it into an action plan.

  • Write down what actions you will take, by when, what help and resources you need and what the steps are.
  • What came out of your chocolate orange day?
  • What has to change?

Days like this often help us to understand where our mission in life lies. It’s a time to reflect on that book you have been yearning to write. Books are a fantastic way to reach another and inspire them to become an inspiration to another.

Connect with me if writing a book about your personal story and inspiration is something you want to bring into the world.

New moon, Earth Dog Year, Journaling and setting intentions

It’s a new moon which often disturbs sleeping patterns and mine are well out of whack. Upon waking at 1.30am, I thought about journaling and then decided that perhaps some meditation music might be better. My head was banging, and I just wanted to sleep. I tried but it wasn’t coming so out came the journal, and I started to write.

I’m journaling daily while on this osteoporosis journey as I want to remember all of the detail for when I come to write a book about it. If you are at the start of a life-changing journey, start yours too. I’m currently editing Rude Awakenings, my next book and how I wished I had not burned all of my journals when I left the ex. But I did, and luckily I have blogs and calendar entries to guide me. But why make it hard right?

I’ve decided on an entirely natural approach. The doctor doesn’t know yet because we are at the start of our relationship and I’m in the machine and going for a bone density test next week.

A friend upon hearing my diagnosis talked to me about her mum and what she had done to reverse it. She is very inspiring, and hearing stories like this give me hope.

Although trained in naturopathic nutrition (I do not practice – it’s just for me), I could not do my case study, so I engaged a nutritionist to look at my life and how this might have come about. Another eye. I had my theories, but at a time like this, I think, at least for me, you need someone who is not in your stuff and is not so enmeshed in your life.

She is another incredibly inspiring person. You know the kind that looks adversity in the eye and says here’s some curly kale now eff off… I think that was a pathetic attempt at a nutritional joke.

Yesterday, I got her report back. She kept writing; I know you know this but. I smiled, I might know it, but I’m too caught up in dealing with pain.

It was so enlightening to see my life, my mums and her mum’s lifestyles, as well as my dads reflected in my body. It all makes sense to me because this is what we are taught; to look at the bigger picture.

If only we knew this as we party through life. So much stress in my life has taken its toll on my poor body. I know about stress and emotional rubbish because my journaling has been on the same adventure with me and has helped me survive.

But here is the thing. And I have quite a few friends who are nutritionists. (I’d recommend any of these in a flash if you are interested.) They say when they work with their clients that they always seemed naffed off that they have to work on hydration first.

And that’s what my nutritionist said yesterday. I didn’t protest, despite the fact I drink lots of water already. As she explained that didn’t matter because my cells were not getting hydrated, they couldn’t get the nutrients in. They have been on dehydration alert since birth. That’s pretty scary, right?

I believe that I have this now because of a previously undetected overactive thyroid which I cured with nutrition. And because I drank high calcium water (999ppm) for a year when I injured my rib. I installed a countertop water filter so that I did have to lug water and carried on drinking it. The water filter did not take the calcium out of the water, and I was so focused on thyroid, I did not think. Doh!

I also have it because of this big picture I was talking about. Despite my great diet and exercise I was massively dehydrated at a cellular level – all of my life. All my life.

I consider myself lucky that I got these fractures, which means I am in the system and I am seeking help for something that could have been so much worse.

What I also consider lucky (you may not), is that this has called me to stop and think about my life, about the core of who I am and where I fit in the matrix.

But it is bloody hard detoxing, and rehydrating, my head is banging, I’ve hardly slept, and I am so tired. I want to cry all the time – you know spontaneously leaking eyes. I’m naffed off I can’t walk my dogs or drive my car, carry in the dog food, lug the logs upstairs, get my shopping (though I am blessed for such good friends) and a million and one other things.

Despite this tough old experience, I’m in, I see such positives, and I’m a fighter. I refuse to go into some sausage factory where they give me drugs and send me home. I want my body and my life back.

It’s a new moon today and tomorrow is the Chinese New Year – the year of the Earth Dog. I’m focusing on what I want to manifest and setting good intentions.

What do you want to manifest? Get journaling and find out.

New moon journaling

New moons as the name suggests are all about new, birthing and starting over. I always look to see what sign the moon is in so that I can glean some more information. This is a great website with the kind of thing that I am talking about. New moon solar eclipse. Read it and pick out something that resonates and yes start journaling. Just let your writing flow.

In this article I was hit with – this represents a turning point. How very apt. So many ways to go, but the turning point is taking control, breathing through, taking good action and allowing everything to flow. I’m planting seeds. What about you?

Earth Dog, Chinese New Year journaling

Same website, different article – the year of the Earth Dog. Similar routine read and reflect, but now consider the bigger picture, your year and how you want this to be. Words that stick out are grounding and finding balance. This thing called osteoporosis is a body out of balance, so this as a focus is perfect. As well as the reference to a gentle fun loving vibe, I’d like some of that.

And what about this? ‘Even if it doesn’t feel like you are doing much, the work laid down in 2018 is going to set you up for many years to come.’

What are the foundations you want to lay? What are the intentions that you would like to set?

As I’ve said before, if you are at the start of a massive awakening this is the time to start journaling and getting your thoughts down ready for your book. We are not given these challenges to keep us small; we get them so that we can learn about who we are and what we have come to Earth to do. We are here to learn, to embrace love and in my case to serve. We are learning to fly so that we can teach others to be inspired to spread their wings too. Write a memoir with a difference, set your intentions and do it.

Despite how unwell I feel, just at this point, please do connect with me if you want to write your book. We’ll have fun sorting the ideas out, planning, writing, editing, publishing and all of the stuff in between.

PS: I left my dogs out as I talk about them so much anyway, but consider how loyal and loving they are. You want some of that too, don’t you?

PPS: I’ve got so much more to share as I write my way into my next book. This is bizarrely exciting.

February is my time to focus on health and journaling

February 2018 and my focus is firmly on my health and journaling. Without my health I have nothing and without journaling, for me at least there is no clarity.

I’m journaling every day, although yesterday, I couldn’t write, it was a day of letting go and not focusing on this condition that I had been told I have. Osteoporosis doesn’t sound like much, but it is devastating for some. Think about this, your skeleton holds you up, or ‘puts you in good standing’, it is at the core of your existence. Or consider that bone is a matrix, which means womb or mother – the centre of your creation.

The matrix. Life expands from the centre of our matrix - the womb of creation

What if someone told you that the centre of who you were was not functioning?

I don’t know if everyone looks at things as I do, but I need to know how things work, why things happen, how to change and challenge what is going on and to consider things from many angles. Reading, writing and journaling do this for me.

Right now this is what I am doing. Another me project.

I started with writing some letters to people I needed to communicate with on a soul level. I put pen to paper and didn’t say I want to write to this one or that one, I just started with what emerged from my journaling.

Then I wrote a love letter to me. Then I had a brainwave. For that read a not so clever idea right now…

Love letters to me seemed like a good idea until I had to sit and think about writing them all. At first, there was one for the full moon, and then I thought, what if I wrote one for every day of February. I soon realised that although I am forever grateful for my amazing journey into self-love, a letter a day was exceeding the goals and bounds of desires for this month. Plus I didn’t have the energy. I’m tired and in pain and that takes lots of self-love and rest.

I did spend some time in bed in agonising pain, dulled by meditation, medication (natural) and sleep. I dreamt some odd things. I thought about intimacy and would love ever find it’s way to me? I was starting to explore the matrix of my being more and more.

Because it is February and so many peoples focus is on love, I, of course, did wander into flights of fancy. After several days in bed dreaming that my true love’s heart might be pierced with Cupids bow, I fast came to the conclusion that this February would (and should) be more about melting my fears for my spine health rather than the deluge of Valentine’s cards that would be coming my way. Or any romance for that matter.

At this point, the only man I will be asking to be mine and my valentine is Ferdy Dog, my ten-year-old Vizsla who has been with me since he was 18 months old. So cute and just as cute are his sisters Marley Moo and Angel. There is something rather fun about watching these three mad dogs play around as we have family time. Where we live is Europe’s only natural desert, we are surrounded by hills and dry river beds which give them plenty of running which I hope maintains their heart health, among other things. I hope that they continue to enjoy good health from all of the good life and fun that they have.

I’d be pretty surprised if he (Ferdy Dog) did send a card covered in red love hearts or some Chocolate Roses. Not that I would thank you for the sugary candy even if they were served with ice cream as I try my hardest (read my life depends on it) to eat a healthy diet. The funny thing is my neighbour sent over some alcohol-infused cherries and strawberries. I tried a few and decided to be strong. It’s funny isn’t it, our view of how to cheer someone up. I’d probably send a card, someone else flowers and yet another chocolates or wine. That’s our connection with comfort and love I guess?

Luckily while he (the friend) was here, he lugged some logs upstairs for me, so if the promised snowstorm or freezing rain arrives, I will be toasty. I’m feeling excessively cold and my body temperature is low, I’ve figured that my body is working amazingly well and conserving its energy for the vital work it needs to do. Trying to stay warm indoors is tough at this time of year, and I often get more comfort being outside and feeling those gorgeous rays on my face and gazing up into the beautiful blues that create a canopy over my world.

It’s quite bizarre how the weather here changes, one minute it is summer, then winter; we are sometimes fooled into thinking that spring has come early only to find we are still in winter. Making sure that I can stay warm and take advantage of the natural heat outside are part of my regime. And anyway we need natural sunlight for vitamin D production. Although mine might be wonky?

After being trapped inside, I found myself with cabin fever. You’ll know it when you feel it – you have to get outside. I could hear the birds singing and I wanted to fly free, just as they were.

“Flying starts from the ground. The more grounded you are, the higher you fly.” ― J.R. Rim.

One of the things that I love about living here is the number of birds that find their way to this area. At the moment the winter birds are here, hiding in trees, but you can certainly hear them singing their happy morning tunes at dawn. Soon my family of swallows will arrive and start the business of producing babies. I’ve thought about leaving them some bird food but figured that they have been coming here for years and know where the best insects are. It seems obvious, they need, like I do, food from natural sources. However, I’ll know when they are here because I will see them swooping under my terrace and start leaving deposits in an array of colours.

Last year the nest fell and all of the babies died. I cried. It was devastating. The sadness seemed to stay and each time I went into this space I wondered how the parents must be feeling. This malaise was soon lifted as I began to see the nest being reformed. Little by little it was rebuilt. The matrix, the womb of swallow creation had been reborn. Their nest rebuilding gives me hope that my matrix will be rebuilt. They have done just as nature prescribes. A good lesson for me.

I read somewhere that when birds come to stay it’s a gift and I certainly see it that way. No time for the February blues when you know an extension of your family is about to arrive.

This osteoporosis news and journey everything feels a bit like Groundhog Day, as I keep researching, journaling and reflecting. How did this happen? That’s my recurring Groundhog moment. This will soon change, it is changing, as I start treating myself nutritionally and looking at ways to bring my body’s biochemistry back into balance – reform the matrix and the core of my existence. I guess it’s like planting seeds and spring bulbs and waiting to see them grow and flourish. Or in my case, my bone health improve. So no ice skating for me for a while!

With nutrition on my mind, yesterday morning I was pondering toast (oh no – but gluten-free), my usual hot porridge and everything breakfast or pancakes made with pea protein covered in raw chocolate sauce. Right now I know, nutritionally dense with the odd lapse is the way to go. Sadly my usual weekly bout of family baking is on hold as it is a bit too painful to stand over a hot food processor, no matter how easy it is to use. Strange isn’t to have to think of how to use your body differently while you cook, wash and no I am not cleaning – I’m lucky that I have a lovely cleaner who helps me out. I’ve become so much more conscious of how I move and sit.

I love to learn and as you can see I find my mind focused on journaling, nutrition and reading books from my vast library. All of this reading is giving me food for thought – no pun intended. And as you can imagine because I have gorged myself on all of this reading, I’m now at that stage where it is all a blur. Last night every article I bought up I heard myself saying yeah, yeah, yadda, yadda, blah, blah. Time to stop, reflect and integrate it all, methinks. That’s where my trusty pen supports me.

The time for congratulations will come. In fact, when I have compared my 2016 blood results to the current ones, I am congratulating myself for things like thyroid health – in this category I am rocking. There is something very special about being given a project – in my case – healing the imbalance in my bones matrix and creating milestones along the way. Congratulations go a long way to keeping you on track, motivated and inspired.

So this February my focus is on health and journaling. As I always say journaling, writing and words have the power to heal. Start your journaling now if you find yourself where I am. Your writing will help you to make sense and then you can decide what do with your wise words. I hope that you will write a book and help yourself to heal and inspire another to start their journey.

If writing a book is on your mind and you have a powerful personal story that you want to birth into the world, please connect with me and let’s explore where this might take you.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/matrix

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