There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. — Nelson Mandela
Returning to a familiar, unaltered environment allows you to reflect on your personal journey. The contrast between the unchanged place and your own evolution highlights the internal changes you have experienced.
This reflection is akin to the process of journaling, where the power lies in uncovering our deepest feelings and providing catharsis through the release of pain.
While many therapies can prepare us for the journey of healing, they often fall short in guiding us through deeper transformation. Without this transformation, we risk reliving negative patterns, sometimes reinforcing them through repetition rather than truly moving beyond them.
At least, this has been my experience. I like journaling what comes up after any healing or therapy session, finding that it helps me recognise and celebrate my growth, just as revisiting an unchanged place reveals the ways in which I have transformed.
Various therapeutic approaches are brilliant in helping us understand how we feel, but they don’t always show us the way through. Carl Rogers noted the curious paradox that when I accept myself just as I am, I can change. To truly heal, we must delve deeper beyond surface-level understanding.
Acceptance, I believe, is a foundational step in the healing journey. It involves acknowledging our thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment. But it’s not always easy to fully accept ourselves without judgment. When we do, we create a compassionate space where true change can occur. Self-acceptance allows us to face our vulnerabilities and embrace and love who we are, facilitating deeper healing and transformation.
As I said, it is not always easy not to judge. How often do you let your inner bully say unkind things? They just trip off the tongue, and then it’s done. I often tell someone close to me, please don’t say that about yourself. Your cells are listening, and they may just obey you.
Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation or complacency. Instead, it means recognising and embracing our current reality while being open to growth and change. This mindset shift can reduce internal conflict and pave the way for genuine transformation. But only if you want to change. There has to be an intention, or sometimes things happen, and you are forced to change.
In the context of journaling, acceptance can be practised by writing honestly about our emotions and experiences without censoring or criticising ourselves. By this, I mean getting onto paper what you really mean and not thinking about what would happen if someone reads it. Get it out. This process helps us understand and integrate different aspects of our identity, leading to a more rounded sense of self.
As we continue to journal, we can reflect on our journey, noticing patterns and repeated behaviours but also celebrating our progress and acknowledging areas where we still feel that things need a shift in perspective. This practice of acceptance and reflection helps create resilience, self-compassion, kindness and a deeper connection to the heart of who we are, ultimately guiding us through the healing process.
By reshaping our memories and stories, we align with Maya Angelou’s wisdom: You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
That’s so true, isn’t it? We can’t change the past, but we can change how we feel about past events.
We know what we think or imagine shapes our reality individually and collectively. Healing and transformation are possible only by changing our perspective from within. It is always from within, and no one can fix or heal you.
True healing and empowerment occur by making meaning out of memory. What story are you living? How do you choose to remember your story? How can you choose to heal your story and the associated feelings?
The following allegory offers a clue:
Two Wolves: A Nanticoke grandfather is talking to his grandson about how he feels about a tragedy in their community. I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, angry, and violent. The other wolf is loving and compassionate.
The grandson asks, Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight in your heart?
The grandfather places his hand on his heart and replies, The one I feed.
How do we learn to feed with compassion the stories that heal? How do we put together the pieces of the past? How can we rewrite our life story so that pain becomes meaningful and promotes growth and transformation?
One answer lies in journaling. Of course, you knew that was my answer. By writing to heal, we embark on a process of self-discovery and transformation. Through journaling, we can:
- Explore and express our deepest emotions in a safe space.
- Reflect on our experiences and their impact on us.
- Reframe our memories and create empowering narratives.
- Gain insights that lead to personal growth and healing.
- Change the stories that hold us in the past.
By consistently journaling, we can feed the wolf that brings love, kindness, compassion, inner peace and healing into our lives. Through this practice, we can rewrite our life stories, turning pain into a catalyst for transformation and empowerment.
Journal Prompts
- Self-Acceptance: Write about a moment when you felt most authentically yourself. What did it feel like to accept yourself fully in that moment?
- Transforming Pain: Reflect on a painful experience from your past. How can you reframe this memory to find a positive lesson or personal growth within it?
- Inner Dialogue: Identify two conflicting emotions or thoughts you have about a particular situation. Write a conversation between these two parts of yourself to better understand them.
- Empowerment Through Storytelling: Think of a challenging time in your life. Rewrite the story of this experience as if you were the hero/heroine overcoming obstacles and emerging stronger.
- Resilience and Growth: List three ways you have grown or changed in the past year. How did these changes come about, and what strengths did you discover in yourself through these experiences?
As Graham Greene, Ways of Escape, wisely said, Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear which is inherent in a human condition.
I invite you to Join The Healing Book Project and be a part of a community that writes to heal and then shares their stories to help inspire and heal others.
You can also watch the replay of The Power Of Journaling Workshop.
